Two Year Old Hitting

You know..

I think you have a few things going on at once here. He is a typical 2 so, when he wants something.. he wants it NOW and the throwing toy thing sure does get attention right away, its negative but he is getting attention for it. I would continue carving out dad/mom and me time with him where you are focusing just on him. I know its so hard with the baby and I'm sure you are tired from just having the baby.It doesn't have to be hours at a time.

I would continue to be loving and firm and let him know the hitting is not acceptable. Maybe when you all are busy with the baby.. you could have a little bag of surprises just for him.. like playdough.. or something that he can get busy with and entertain himself.THe homemade kind is the best.. I teach 2's and they just LOVE IT! It has soothed the wildest beast.. ha..

I'm sure you read to him at night and play with him in the bathtub.You all are adjusting to all of the new routines and I'm sure he senses that.. its a transition. 2's really love their structure and routine and I'm sure things are sort of up in the air with the new baby and he is just letting you all know that he doesn't care for it and misses being the center of attention. See if you can track any patterns in his meltdowns.. and try to give him other things to occupy him with, like blocks.. playdough.. a little movie on tv.. a favorite treat to eat.. so he feels he is getting something too.. not your attention at that moment.. but something nice.

Remember.. he is still young and I'm sure his language is still developing and he may not always be able to express his needs appropriately. You are his role model and teaching him what is right and wrong is just part of our parenting territory..the time outs if short (no more than a minute or two.. that is all that really registers at this age..)

and used without you losing your temper..or hitting him.. and as non emotional as possible are very appropriate.

hard when you have been up all night with the baby. I'm sure. Try and get out and do some things for you too new mommy! His phase will pass.
well.. hope this helps a little. You are doing a great job.. keep up the great work.

I've read the other responses and I agree with most of them--but remember, too, that there's also the "redirection" technique that often gets forgotten and can be really effective. Try offering him an alternative behavior to use instead of hitting. Of course it depends on the situation that he's hitting. For example, if he's just hitting you to get your attention, try telling him "Gentle" and take his hand and show him how to pet or nicely touch your arm or head. Try not to focus on telling him things that he can't do and tell him things that he should do. Instead of saying, "Don't hit the baby", say "Be gentle with the baby." Instead of saying, "Don't throw your toy," tell him "Let's be nice with our toys, they're more fun to play with that way" and then hand it back to him nicely or vroom vroom it back to him.

Also, and this sounds totally "hippie," be sure to acknowledge how he's feeling. A big issue with this age, and why it's called the "Terrible Two's" is because he's frustrated that he can't communicate as well as he'd like. His languange is developing at amazing speeds but he can't speak as much as he comprehends yet. If he's hitting because he's mad, say "I think you're mad, aren't you? Maybe you should take a break and go sit in time out." Yes, I give time-outs, too, lots of them. It's funny though--every once in a while I get how you're feeling fed up with constant timeouts and change the approach and then all of a sudden I get results.

Good luck!

I believe by you trying to give him "extra hugs" and all that is encouraging the behavior.

Reward the good behavior, discipline the "bad" behavior.

He's probably jealous, which is completely normal. However, the expression of that jealousy are unacceptable. I have found that by pulling my child out of the situation and redirecting, it has worked better than just timing her out all the time. So, if your son is hitting, you say, "No...we don't hit other people. You can hit this pillow." Allow him to get his aggression/frustration out, but in a constructive manner. However, if he keeps doing it repeatedly, then time him out. So, give him 3 chances and then time out. Redirect each time.

When he's gentle with the baby, or he's doing nice things with the baby...THAT is when you heap on the hugs and kisses with the praise of, "You are such a wonderful big brother!! I really love how nice/gentle/etc you are with the baby!"

When he is extra special sweet to you guys or the baby, make a huge deal about it. "oh that is GREAT when you hug the baby...what big boy you are..."YOu get the point. If he throws a toy or anything say no throwing toys, that is a time out. Put him in time out and take the toy away. Or you could say no throwing toys,we play with toys nice. give to mommy please. Take the toy away and tell him he can have it back tomorrow. They just go through stuff like this sometimes. I keep joking with my hubby that our two kids are going through the terrible twos together, one did it late, and one is doing it early. My son never started that kind of stuff until four, and my daughter is doing it at one, so go figure. GOod luck, and this too shall pass.

Our son is an only child, so some issues were different, but at about the same age, we started facing the same problem, and I know other parents who report similar issues at the two or three year old stage, so I think in part at least this is developmental. We resorted to very firm, immediate time-outs every time, and after a few weeks of what felt like never-ending hell, it worked. Time-outs can feel miserable, and I don't think they are always the best solution, but in this case it was effective, although I want to emphasize it took a lot of consistence and patience. Our son now knows it is not acceptable to hit. This is not to say he doesn't have lapses when he's playing with his friends, but they are rare. And he doesn't hit me anymore at all.