Two Women Got Their Feelings Hurt and It May Destroy Our School.

Unless you are willing to pull the students you have no power at all. The other thing is using terms like "destroy the school" seem dramatic and over the top. If you want to be heard knock off the drama and gossip and start making changes by working for them.

You say you want elections, do you even have someone who would run? They will not take you seriously at all if you don't have a plan in mind. Saying you want an election is not a plan.

My two oldest went to private schools and it was easy to make changes but not just by demanding them because the school knew those who just use words want the change but don't want to be a part of it.

I would immediately find an organizational consultant who deals with strife in companies or schools, to start to build a system of trust and accountability. Everyone needs to get in line - board, staff, parents. Everyone right now is in a power play and making rash decisions. No one should get fired on the spot, no matter what. Boards should go into executive session to discuss personnel matters. A whole bunch of parents going to the board individually just compounds the problem, although I agree you should not sit idly by when things are done unjustly and without due process. This school needs an objective person to bring all parties together. It should not be someone with a connection to the school now. Yes, it will cost some money, but a lot of families pulling out and taking their tuition dollars is a huge financial hit as well. There need to be some people on the board who do not have kids in the school so they are more objective. Usually, boards are selected for the 3 W's - wealth (donors/sustainers), wisdom (expertise) and workers (many volunteers needed to keep the place running. The breakdown should be 1/3 of each category.

If a school can be destroyed so easily, maybe it should be.
You can't force an appointed board to become an elected board.
It's a private business - you are not a stock holder.
If you pay them money, you approve of how they run things.
If you don't approve, you stop paying them and go to another school.
Sometimes the best way to 'vote' is with your feet.
Leave if it's not working for you.

Part of attending a private school (having grown-up in one) is understanding that in the end the Board of Directors/Trustees is the governing body. They do not have to justify anything to the parents, especially if it would involve releasing information regarding Human Resources matters.

You don't say what actually happened, so either you don't really know (gossip isn't accurate) or it's so aggregious that you can't share it, so it's hard to judge whether or not you should leave the school.

MOST private schools have a "morality clause" in their contract, meaning that if the Board decides that a person's actions are out-of-line with the vision/mission statement of the school, that individual can be fired without warning and without the need for justification. Sounds like this is what happened.

Each school has different bylaws regarding the Board. At this point, the best you can do is appoint different people when the terms are over and as a parent body, demand a review of the bylaws.

For what it's worth... the prep school (100 years old and nationally-ranked) I attended was nearly ruined in the span of 6 months by an incompetent Board and the criminal they appointed as the President of the school. There was NOTHING that the parents could do about it, but they put pressure on the Board to actually do a background check on the guy. In the process... found out that he had driven his previous school into the ground and was sleeping with one of the Board members on the interview committee. On top of that, they had issued him a cell phone and vehicle with GPS (pretty standard for a prep school president)... checked the records which revealed that he was giving out his cell number to female students and taking them on unchaperoned trips. That "morality clause" sure came in handy!

One way that we (alum) made our voices "heard" was to withold money. The president of our Alumni Association sent out a mass email encouraging us to hold our annual donations until the situation was resolved. We're talking millions here... most of us give several thousand a year to different aspects of the school... 100 years worth of alum holding out their donations. The Board moved pretty darn quickly.

As a parent body the only real money you can hold is your tuition, which may come back to bite you. See if you can get the word out to alum and encourage them to use their financial "voice"- it often speaks much louder than a rally!

Wow...just wow...all this at a Christian school? Holy smokes batman!!

And another thing I am sorry about is that you don't trust us enough to tell us who you really are - that you had to create another account just to ask this question.

The reason a board is appointed, in my opinion, is to prevent this coup that the parents are bringing upon them. having an appointed board is usually better than a "personal" board as the people should NOT have a bias or be able to be swayed by the members of the school.

There is a lot going on here. It would help if we knew what the women were accused of - not for gossip but because if they were fired for a reason then it helps to know what the reason is.

As to the people quitting. Oh well. They have every right to quit. And if two people leaving have "destroyed the school" then it wasn't as strong a school as you thought. And not nearly as Christian. I don't "see" anyone behaving like a Christian here. I "see" adults behaving like children and crying when they didn't get their way...leaving because their feelings were hurt....

What do the by-laws say? These people are appointed for a reason. You and other parents need to take a step back and let things cool down. It sounds like you guys are trying to do coup and oust the board.

If two people can destroy a Christian school, then it's not as Christian as you would like to think.

Take a step back. Find out what you want. Read the by-laws of the board and go from there.

I have experienced something similar. What people fail to realize is that they do not have all of the information. The board must maintain confidentiality. Parents jumping on a band wagon and making demands without all of the information and just based on gossip is both toxic and irresponsible. This situation sounds horrible and it's my opinion that the response of the parents caused the organization to suffer even more repercussions than necessary. Of course the children are always the ones to pay the price.

Private school appointed board.

You have no power, except peer pressure.

Ways to apply peer pressure:

1) people sign a petition
2) go to the news media
3) find that one person the board (or member) respects (probably clergy in this case)
4) Picket/sit in (by either parents or students)

Beyond that, it's a private business and you are just customers. You have almost none of the rights (like voting for board members) that most schools have. Sorry.

It is hard to know if the board was justified in the firings when you don't state what the firings were over...

Just because the parents don't agree with the firing doesn't mean that it was unjustified. Perhaps there was some behind the scenes problem and they were looking for a reason to fire her.

Why does the board need to be held accountable for a firing that they felt was justified? Make this a learning opportunity in that when complaints are filed, there will be a resolution. Not everyone will like that resolution. That doesn't mean that the person shouldn't have filed the complaint. I guarantee that not all parents are upset about this firing, its just that the 'mob' that is is louder than the one(s) that aren't.

I think the best thing you can do to help your school heal it to help it move past this. Let this go. Focus on the kids. Help the kids move past this and the school will follow.

The whole situation should have remained between the teacher, the board member, the principal and the principal's wife. I don't understand how the board is now involved or why you think the board member should be fired just because his children no longer attend the school. The teacher left of her own accord, so leave her alone. No one forced her out or fired her.

The situation resolved itself until parents decided to get involved. My advice is to stay out of it. Parental opinions are just that. Opinions. Everything is just gossip and taking sides and furthering hurt feelings. You really have no idea who was justified and who wasn't or the process of the decision making in any of this so leave it alone and let your children continue to get their excellent education.

it's SUPPOSED to take time to change a board, for exactly this reason. drama and hurt feelings and adrenaline and excitement do not make for good decisions.
everyone needs to take a deep breath and let things settle down. the next election is the time for any changes that need to happen. but if you make it so that every time there's a dramatic outburst the entire structure gets rocked, you can write this school off right now.
khairete
S.

I think your husband is right. Step back, cool down, and wait for things to settle down. The school year is almost out, so you probably wouldnt remove your children right away. Look into other schools and apply.

If, when its time to start school again in the fall, you still feel unhappy with your school, leave.

Ask yourself this - what impact does this adult drama have on the students in the classroom? Even though a beloved teacher left, she can still be replaced by a good teacher. You can still have good teachers for your children even if the parents and the board are acting like maniacs. If the adult drama is so bad that its impacting what is happening in the classroom, I would leave. However, the people you blame for that are ALL of the adults who cant act address problems in a professional, responsible manner.

I'm experiencing something similar in a different institution. And i am privy to personel information that others are not and should not be privy to, But it makes it hard because the stacks and stacks of complaints and documented history of incompetance can't be pulled out and shared, so people go be hearsay and gossip. My guess is there was alot more going on that you as a parent are allowed to be aware of.

I would leave my kids there for this year, and start looking around to see if there are any better options for them for next year, if not keep them and build the school up as much as you can instead of dividing it further. If people leave, let them and move on.

Be loving to the women. One day it will hit them the damage they cause and they are going to need encouragement because if anything else they are still moms taking care of their children. If anyone can, encourage them to find a way to forgive whatever offended them and then ask the principal and his wife forgiveness.

The board sounds like a lost cause. Unless they take evasive action to cover their tracks, like downsizing the staff and combining classes...anything that will affect the students' learning environment, then encourage the current parents and teachers to remember the focus should be on the students learning all they can.

I would have someone try to make amends with the principal and his wife and encourage them to allow their kids to return to their classes at the school so their lessons won't be further interrupted.

Lastly, keep praying. God knows what's going on. If something isn't bringing Him glory the way He wants, then he'll step in :)

The internal rot has always been there and the damage is already done. Unfortunately, it is finally affecting the parents and students, which is a terrible shame.

I've seen this before and it won't get better and there will be no going back. I attended a prep school where this happend. After two years of struggling to regain it's status in the community, the school had to close. There is nothing you or any other parent can do. Witholding funds only weakens the school and hurts the kids because people are stubborn...they'll hold out to the bitter end...till there is nothing left to save. Upstanding reputations and respect of an institution is hard won and takes generations to achieve. Forcing the board will not make things better, but could further exacerbate the problems.

This train has to run its course, and it will be years....years....before the school recovers, if ever at all.

If your kids have many more years to go, you may want to start looking for a different school. In the end what's more important? The principle (not *principal* who may be the problem, as I had mistakenly written before ) behind the politics, or your childrens' future?

I find this to be very confusing. You say the board is appointed, but then say you're waiting for terms to expire so new board members can be elected.

What are you trying to make the board be accountable for? What did they do wrong?

In most organizations, the "board" is make up of several people who listen to both sides of a situation and then have a vote on how to handle the situation. Having a "board" is much better than having a individual who is in charge making the decisions.

You should check the by-laws to see what the procedures are for overruling the "boards" decissions. Is this something that can be done by a ballot where all parents get a vote?

I think its time to go over the by-laws of the organization and find out the rules as to how people are appointed to the board, and what criteria is needed for a person to be eligible to serve on the board.

I wish I more to suggest, but I don't.

I'll address only one small part of this: The board member who remains on the board even though his children do not attend the school any more. Has anyone gone through the school's policies and bylaws and the board bylaws to see if he is violating them? Does the school have any written policy that in order to serve on the board, one must be a parent of a child in the school? If there is such a policy, then clearly he must go. If not, consider putting it into new policies when you get your new board elected. It sounds as if he is keeping his seat on the board just to prove some point and possibly to be able to punish people at the school somehow. I'm mystified why he wouldn't leave if he has no children at the school and no younger ones he plans to send there later--?

You cannot hold the board accountable if there are no written rules or policies allowing parents to do so through some mechanism like a vote. You mention wanting to elect new board members, but is there anything in writing that allows you to do that? It sounds as if the board operates without any bylaws it must follow. If that is the case, you need some. You say your husband believes that "the majority of people will stop the board from doing things," but how? If the board isn't accountable now, it won't approve new bylaws to make it more accountable. And it sounds like a tense and rotten experience to wonder constantly what the board will do next and whether "people" will keep the board in check. Sounds like too much drama and worry, to be honest.

Frankly, if this is affecting kids' day-to-day educational experience, I likely would be looking very hard for a new school. The effort you put into fixing this place might be better spent finding and becoming involved in another school -- but if it's private or private/Christian, ensure first that it has solid bylaws and formal procedures in place for accountability, so that people cannot simply fire (or hire!) others without due investigation and a chance to respond.

What HURT their feelings?