Two Children. Two Beds. One Room.

I have a 6 yo son and 3.5 yo daughter. They have been sharing a room for over a year now and it has always been fine. Instead of the bunkbed route, we bought 2 junior size loft beds. Each one is only about 4 and a half feet off the ground, so we maximized floor usage, and each child has their own space under their bed. My 3 yo hasn't been a napper for quite awhile, but on off/rough days when we do need more than quiet time, I will put my son in our room to lay down. Also, they go to bed at the same time at night, and we have become very insistent that they do not bother one another in the morning. My son can be quite the morning person while dd can be quite the "crank" :-) I would consider the lofts over the bunks, and also, I would echo a previous idea of considering trying to adjust your son to 1 nap a day. I don't know if sharing a room has done the trick, but if it's any encouragement, my children get along great most of the time, they have learned great teamwork in keeping their room cleaned up when we ask, and they have become pretty good at sharing and taking turns, and I think it's because they spend so much time together. Good Luck!!

It sounds like it's time to adjust some sleep schedules. Let me start by saying that I have a 19 month old and a 3 year old, and I currently have them on the same schedule - mostly for my sanity. At 1 1/2 most kids can pretty easily make the switch to 1 nap a day, although he will probably need/want it before 2pm. Here is what I do at both bed and nap, it may give you some ideas. We all go into my 3 year old's room and sit on his bed and read stories, they each pick out 1. Then I sing lullabye and give him kisses, then repeat lullabye and kisses to my daughter. At night we also say prayers and talk about our favorite things that day. I don't know what to tell about them keeping each other up except that you will probably have to play guard dog for a while, or put your son down first and then try to convince your daughter to be super quiet so as not to wake him. If your son moves to just one nap a day, he should be pretty easy to put down at night. I would also consider a trundle bed rather than a bunk. You can push the extra bed in when it is not being used to create more space.

I only have a 23m old daughter so I don't have much in the way of advice for the sleeping situation. I do, however, want you to know that still giving your 18m old son a bottle at nighttime isn't a crime. Some Pediatricians and other parents might make you feel that way but who cares. My daughter still has a bottle at bedtime as part of her routine and honestly, I'm not in a huge hurry to eliminate it. She drinks milk from a sippy during the day and never has the bottle anytime but bedtime (accept when she's sick I will let her have it more often). Anyway, just didn't want you to think you're the only one.

No bunk beds! Your kids are way to young and they are not safe. As far as the sleeping goes. Have your older one go to bed after the younger one is asleep. S.

Your kids sound great, and it seems like you have a good system set up with them both. Why not just stick with it and assume it will keep working (until proven otherwise).

Maybe you can set up a comfy reading or quiet time area in a room not their bed room, so that the times when your daughter is awake but your son is not she still has a great place to be? You can read in the chair and then have her climb into her bed, hopefully after your son is asleep.

Or, possibly, for bedtime, put a small light on the top bunk. Read to your daughter while your son falls asleep in the lower bed - maybe it is a way to ease him into your routine with your daughter?

Oh, reading the other responses - you can search on line for different bed options. I know the low-loft beds sometimes have a second bed at a 90 degree angle underneath them. This allows for some space saving, but the upper bed doesn't have to be so high because only the feet of the lower bed fit under the upper bed. Loft beds and bunk beds also can have rails on them to make them a bit safer. Also, there seem to be trundle bed options that may work.

If you just search for 'children's beds' on line you will probably find some.

FWIW, i was shopping for kids beds yesterday, and the person at the specialty store we checked out (Go to your room', in Bellevue, WA) said that most kids could handle lofts and ladders by around 4.

Special nap time for the older daughter, she gets to nap in mother's bed as long as she truly sleeps and not gets out of bed. That way you get your reading and snuggle time. The younger child gets his bottle and singing time.

Hope that helps. I admire your bravery.

Your older one really is not old enough for the top bunk of a bunk bed. That is a long way to fall if you are mistaken about his judgment.

I suggest a jr loft bed. The height is in between a standard bed and a top bunk. We got one with a slide (America the Beautiful Dreamer) to make getting off the bed a little safer and easier. You can then put another mattress on the floor underneath it. The space between the two is still just like a bunk bed, but neither bed is as high. This way you don't have to worry about your toddler falling off the bed at night either.

As for bedtime, you can either coordinate their schedules and routines or you can use your bed to put one down and then move him/her after he/she has fallen asleep.

Hi! My kids are 7(girl) and 5(boy) - they have shared a room since they were born. Usually if the naps were a challenge I'd have one nap on my bed and one in the bedroom in their crib. That quiet time in the afternoon is precious.

Nighttime routine was just that they went to bed at the same time (around 8pm) because they just had to. They are only 20mos. apart though, and my daughter has always liked to sleep.

But it's a challenge at times. They often have to be spoken to once I put them to bed because they talk and sometimes get loud - playing - and we have to remind them it's bedtime.
But honestly, I don't even mind that. Childhood passes so quickly - and sharing a room causes siblings to form a bond that they just wouldn't have to otherwise. My daughter and son are the first person eachother sees every night and every morning. And they fight a lot too, but they are also as close as two can be. And that brings me so much joy.

Good luck. You'll figure it out. I always say I'd rather be poor and in cramped quarters because that makes for a closer family. I know people who's kids all have their own rooms, with their own tvs, etc...and it's kind of sad that they all go away into their own space and shut everyone else out. Families argue and get on eachothers nerves, but the love you feel is incomparable.

We switched our girls to the same room last year, they were 4.5 and 2.5yrs old at the time. My youngest was still in the crib at the time and we kept it that way for the first several months. Then we got bunkbeds, to our suprise, my youngest decided she liked the top bunk and the oldest liked the bottom, lol. I will say in our house both kids were/are on the same bedtime schedule. (My youngest gave up naps after the crib -- but before the crib was taken down, she would take a afternoon nap and I had story or workbook time with my older) Bedtime starts about 7:20 and consists of jammies, stories, teeth, bed by 8pm.

G.--
sorry I am late on this (got behind on my Mamasourcing ;) )

one thing I want to add, is to make sure your older child has SOME way to keep special stuff safe from the younger one. 1.5 is just about the age (and it lasts until about 3) that my kids hit the physically competent enough to get into things and ruin them but not emotionally/socially competent enough to choose NOT to do so stage. They break the big kid's things without meaning to (often loving it to death) ... and the big kid starts to think that the little one is evil (when actually the little one is just ... little!).

I am literally considering buying my 6 year old son some half-lockers (there's a liquidation place in town that sells them) and padlocks because our "baby" (now 2+) is ***so*** fast at getting into his stuff at *every* opportunity. At least this toddler is oh so careful (unlike the last two) and doesn't *break* things ... but it's setting their relationship onto very chancy ground right now!

Bunk Beds are a great idea but I don't know how the little one will do - my sister had to move her little boy into a bed early because she had another baby and it took while for him to get used to staying in bed, so that might be hard for you at first.

But, I have a 4 yo boy and 2 yo girl and they've shared a room since she was born and do just fine. They go to bed at the same time and I sit in their room and read to both of them while they are in their bed & crib. Then only my 2 yo still takes naps and my son just has quiet time with me, he sometimes watches a movie or plays or paints (something he can't do when she is awake). He understands very well that he needs to be quiet because the baby is sleeping.

Also, when we first moved our son to his toddler bed he would get up and play with toys and sneak out so we took all the toys out of his room and just got after him for sneaking out - we leave our bedroom door open so we can hear if he gets up and so if he needs something he can come and get us.

Good Luck! We are running into a problem with the two sharing a room and want to separate them because our son, the 4 yo will go to bed without his sister in the room, but she will not because she is used to having someone in the room. Our son has been invited to sleep over with his cousin and we haven't been able to let him go because his sister just stands in her crib pointing to his bed looking for him. But I don't think that will be a problem for you.

Take Care!

G.,
My oldest boys share a room and have bunk-beds. I put my oldest in the top bunk at age 5, even though "experts" recommend the top bunk at age 6. I was able to do this because my oldest is very obedient and knew that he wasn't allowed to walk on the top bunk or get out un-aided. My middle son was 2+ when he transitioned to the bottom bunk. The night time routine worked fine, the nap schedule we had to tweak and use my bed for quiet/nap time for my oldest.

We had the same loft bed mentioned in a different response and we loved it, but the space below was too small for my 2 year-old to sleep in. Also, the slide was a huge tempatation for him. That is another reason to wait on bunkbeds. If your 18 month old is in the room with a bunk-bed, will he be tempted to climb up? We had to repeatedly reinforce this to our 2 year old.
An alternative is a loft-style bed at IKEA, in the kid section. It can be flipped for now and your oldest can sleep with a canopy then when you're ready to transition your 2 year old you can flip it over and your oldest can be on top (it's under 5 ft high) and the youngest can be on the bottom (it's on the floor, so you don't have to worry about him rolling off-or at least too far off).

I love that my boys share a room and I plan on having them share a room always, regardless of our circumstances.

Goodluck-this issue is so hard to give advice on, since every person's space issues and routines are so unique.

They are too young for bunk beds. For the rutine, do it first with your son in theirs bed room and than with your dother in your bedroom. Good luck!

I enjoy reading to both of my kids together. I have a 4 yr old and a just turned 2 yr old. They both love the bedtime stories and are disappointed when, for some reason things aren't working out. This doesn't happen often, but one child might be a little too sleepy and become naughty, so attention is on behavior instead of the cuddle/reading time.

But, most nights are wonderful and both kids enjoy the stories. I try to vary the reading material and pick a book for the little one and one for the older one, but not way too advanced for the little guy. I want both to be engaged in the story, so all of us can enjoy this time together.

Your little one can have his bottle while you read together and then put him in his crib to sing the two of them to sleep.

Good luck and enjoy your reading time,
D.

If you are worried about bunk beds (and I should say that I have one for my 3 year old, she sleeps on the bottom happily and we store her copious collection of stuffed animals on the top) then what about a trundle bed? My sister and I had one when I was growing up...the bottom is a giant drawer that slides out with the second bed on it.

Also, there is a very inexpensive junior loft bed at Ikea (several of my friends have it) that does fit a mattress underneath.

For naps, what about doing it the way they do at daycare's, and get a sleeping mat? You get a cute sleeping bag, or pillow, etc. and your son can sleep on that in your room.

Good luck!
K.

Hi G.,
You could try setting up a porta-crib in your room for your son to nap, or have your daughter nap in your room. i think I would keep them seperate for naps because kids are usually lsss tired durring nap time and if they are going to get silly and stay up, it will be durring the nap. You could also stagger bedtime. Put him down first, and she gets to stay up "late" and play a board game or something one on one with you because she is such a big girl now. Have her do everything to get ready for bed at the same time he does so that when she goes to bed she isn't turning on lights or digging through drawers for pj's and stuff. Good luck!
H.