I have a 3-year-old who watches about 20 minutes of TV a day right before dinner. I feel guilty because I don't sit with her during her show. (Exhibit A: I am on here now).
Do you sit with their kids during their shows?
I'm with her every other second of the day!
OK, I should have clarified that "every second of the day" was sarcastic. She naps/has quiet time for 2 hours and she also goes to preschool two mornings and sees grandma and grandpa as well during the week. I guess this is why I feel guilty for not watching TV with her. I am in the room and available though.
Oh please. Like I wanna watch kid stuff? I have laundry to fold, dishwasher to load etc. And a 20-30 min show is the perfect time to do that.
Now that my older one (almost 6) enjoys older programming (like good luck charlie etc) we can watch together and laugh/talk about it. But preschool programming, no thanks. There is nothing in there that needs any parental discussion so I think you're good.
I wasn't with my kids all day, I worked, but I didn't spend every moment with them when I was at home. You do kids a disservice when you don't teach them to amuse themselves and to depend on adults to entertain them. She should be playing independently at various intervals of the day, even if you are at home with her.
I do not watch videos with my kids. I know, I know, I'm missing so many educational opportunities. Whatever.
They don't need us 24-7. In fact, it's good for them to be alone!
My 3 year old watches 1.5 hours of TV a day. His sister does too. They are so far ahead of their peers in so many things, I don't worry about it.
om goodness. 20 minutes away from you so you can accomplish something, she'll be scarred for life.
No, I generally do not sit with DD during her shows, but I am close enough at hand to know what she's watching. Unless I'm in the shower. Remember, Momma needs down time, too!
Reread your question, dear.
You feel guilty because your 3yo watches 20 minutes of TV and you're not with her?
Really?
My kids watch Team Umizoomi while I watch Young and the Restless. Whatever. People can hate if they want. It's quiet and everyone is settled for at least 30-45 minutes. Once it goes off, we're back to our usual antics. :)
My son (nearly 6) watches either 'The Cat in the Hat' or SuperWhy. I might join him toward the end, but now-- after the first few episodes of a new show, I don't always watch with him. I do keep an ear out though, and he's good about telling me what was interesting for him. I figure that since he's only watching about 30 minutes a day, that's a time for me to get something else done. (This morning it was listening to NPR and making/eating my breakfast.)
That said, if it's anything else (like a nature documentary) I do watch side-by-side. He always has a lot of questions and needs things explained to him. If it's not his usual shows, I want to know what he's seeing.
Also, consider teaching her how to do 'quiet play time' on her own. It will save your sanity! I couldn't imagine being with my son every. single.second. I would likely be the one having the meltdown!
As long as you know what she's watching, it's fine. It's practically impossible to spend every single second of the day with your kids doing exactly what they're doing. If you can see and/or hear her and know that she's safe, you're fine. 20 minutes of tv won't hurt!
Dont feel guilty! I do sit with my kids sometimes, but not all the time. Sometimes you need those 20 minutes to get stuff done, nothing wrong with that!
No, I didn't watch TV with my kids when they were little. We did plenty together, but if it was time for them to watch TV then that was there own time. Kids need a break from us just as much as we need breaks from them. I would suggest you allow her more than 20 minutes a day without you, it is good for her. My kids are seven and ten and we do watch a couple of shows together, but that is because they are watching the shows I enjoy now.
Nope. My kids get to watch a show, too, and I use that time, believe me!
20 minutes a day where she is watching TV and doesn't have you with her is not going to hurt her. I don't watch my daughter's shows with her - she's 5 and still way into Dora and Diego and all those other preschooler shows that make me nuts. I don't need to be sitting with her and subjecting myself to them when I could be getting other things done. There are other shows we do watch together, but only because they are shows I don't mind and would watch on my own.
Most kiddie tv didn't interest me. I watched with her if it was something that caught my interest, like Sesame Street. But Barney? If I had to sit through an entire episode of that, I would have gouged out my eyeballs with a spoon and used them as earplugs.
I sit & watch when it's Spongebob Squarepants because I love it. But other than that, no .... unless its a movie I like too.
heavens!
when i had toddlers, i did watch some tv with them. but i also used it as a babysitter when i was at my wit's end and needed 15 minutes of peace to get dinner ready. or do laundry. or sit in a corner with my eyes crossed.
my boys were busy, active, and outside all the time. and yes, tv was also a part of their lives. so was i. but i didn't spend every second of the day with them by any means.
i also tormented myself with guilt over silly things like this. it seems to be a rite of passage for young mothers. i'd like to have a magic wand and banish it.
:) khairete
S.
I can't stand cartoons, so no.
This is the "worst" thing you do? I am totally AP, but I don't think being with your child every second of the day is healthy at all. I personally think she should be supervised but not with you for way more than 20 minutes a day. Especially at 3!! Does she not go to preschool?
Nope.
I will occassionally go sit or snuggle during Super Why or Daniel Tiger - but the rest of the time i let them watch and i check on them periodically.
As for TV, I usually sit with my 5 year old son if he is watching tv. We usually sit together on the sofa and it is our snuggly time. He doesn't watch tv every day, but I will let him watch up to 40 minutes a day sometimes. Or once or twice a month we will watch a movie, longer documentary, or sports.
I have found that he sometimes gets scared, even of the cartoons; even something like Winnie the Pooh can somtimes scare a small child. When he was 3, being with him was better. I could turn it off if I noticed he was scared. Now at 5, he is better at turning his head and telling me that he doesn't want to watch something anymore when he feels scared.
I usually use the shows he watches as a way to develop his language and creativity. I have him tell me the story. (Even at 3 years old, I had my son try to retell the story. Watching it with him allowed me to fill in the blanks and help him find his words better. ) We talk about how the characters behavior was good or bad. I have him imagine what might have happened next in the story. I encouraged him to role play the story when I thought the lesson being taught could help him. I also encouraged him to draw pictures about the story and characters, either retelling what happened in the show or being creative and deciding what happened next in the story. When I started teaching my son to write sentences, the stories he watched on tv became a good source for his writing. There are many ways to use tv watching as a learning experience.
That being said, I don't spend every minute of the day engaged with doing something together with my son. I might be in the same room, or a room away but still able to keep an eye/ear on him. At 3 years old, I started encouraging my son to have short independent play times where I could read a book, check my e-mail, start a load of laundry, etc...
Now at 5 years old, I will still watch a show with my son if it is the first time he sees it. If it is a repeat that I know he doesn't have any problems watching than I will sometimes do my own thing. I still like having snuggly time together so I will sometimes sit and watch a repeat too.
Don't feel guilty about taking a few minutes of time for yourself. You are important too! If allowing your daughter to watch a few minutes of tv is the only way for you to get that free time for now, then take it. I would like to recommend that you find a way to teach her to play independently as well though so you don't have to feel like you are sneaking away from her. Maybe you can let her look at books while you check email or have her sit at the kitchen table and draw pictures while you cook dinner. Then you will both be doing your own thing, but she will be where you can keep and eye/ear on her. I use music or a timer as a way to help my son know when our independent time is finished. If I am having him play with something in his room or the living room while I am taking care of laundry or cleaning the bathroom, I will put in one of his CDs or set a timer for him to clean up when it ends or beeps.
