Trying to Wean Daughter

there is no good advise everyone is different. the only way to wean is to go away for a weekend. That is how I had to stop breast feeding after 2 Years. It is a commitment and when It is time it is time the slow weaning does not work if you cannot take the crying. sorry :(

I highly recommend the book put out by the Le Leche League about weaning... I think it is called 'How Weaning Happens'. It is possible that her metabolism is high, therefore her tummy empties quicker than others and she needs to nurse at night when no other food is being offered. Is she really eating or just licking and playing? I assume at 1 yr, she is really eating, which means she needs it. Lactation consultants told me that if they actually eat, then their body is hungry and telling them to eat....taking it away, especially at night may be very challenging :-)

If you are wanting to make the process happen before your daughter is showing that she is ready (reducing the nursings on her own) it is best to be slow and gradual....this way it is less stressful for both of you and keeps that special bond you have made strong and keeps that trust that she knows between you. Right now she turns to you not just for the extra nutrition and health benefits, but also for the emotional comfort that she needs. Every child is different and it sounds like your daughter is similar to mine in needing extra comfort a little more often than a different kid of the same age. My daughter also nursed several times a day and all night until she was about 18 months old. She still continued to nurse but requested less often for a while. Although child led weaning is much easier for the child, it is true that if YOU are getting aggravated about having to nurse, then it is no longer a mutually desired event and you should consider weaning, at least partially to ease your frustration. At the Morton Plant nursing moms group, the hospital lactation consultant says that the way to wean is to 'make your nursing box smaller' meaning to start with taking away one nursing (the one that she will miss the least and fuss the least!) every month or so (whatever is comfortable for her).... continue to take one nursing away at a time until you are left with only a few, a couple, or just one that you can live with until they give that up too (or you take it away).
Try LOTS of distrations-keeping in mind that her nursing is not entirely about being thirsty or hungry, so offering a different drink in a sippy may make her more frustrated and confused - or it may be enough to distract her. Alot of what she desires is the special closeness she shares with you while nirsing and may have a hard time understanding why you don't want that too, and may also have a hard time accepting alternatives, especially since at a young 1 yr old, she doesn't comprehend alot of reasoning and explanations yet. Maybe cuddle time, reading stories will work or it might remind her too much of nursing and Daddy may have to hold her, rock her, take her to bed etc instead. I would guess that night weaning will be hardest, and the most disruptive to everyones sleep...so you may want to save that for last after she has conquered some reductions in the day nursings. You may decide to keep the night nursing all together to save some special bonding time just for her? Keep in mind that she's only one and most children will nurse longe than one if given the chance....(recommended by WHO till age 2), so be prepared for some changes in her as she tries to comprehend why she can't nurse. She may get more clingy, upset, change sleep/nap patterns, show stress since her comfort has been changed/removed. It has been what relaxes her and draws her into you, so maybe a strong alternative to connect and support her needs will be helpful?? I am a firm believer that the breastmilk that I gave my daughter sfter age 1 helped her health and development in ways I couldn't measure - especially emotionally. Hopefully you will find a happy medium with your daughter and keep you both happy and secure. Congrats on being an awesome mom and for choosing to nurse, giving her the very best nutrition, comfort and security you could ever offer her! Best wishes....

Have you read The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears? It gives a lot of good advice about night weaning. I found it very helpful.
P.S. Congrats on breastfeeding for a year!

First, congratulations for nursing your daughter for one year! That is a HUGE accomplishment and you should be very proud!

I agree with the advice that slow is better. Cutting out nursing sessions one at a time is a great idea. Cutting out the nighttime feedings may be difficult. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? There's one for babies and one for toddlers. Basically it offers a long menu list of things you can do to help your baby sleep through the night, without doing cry it out (which can be damaging to a baby's brain due to stress hormones flooding the body). You may want to pick it up - you don't have to read the whole book, you can just go to the list of menu items to try.

But again, congrats! I am at 8 months and really want to make it to 1 year also.

I breastfed for 8 months my 1st daughter and 15 months my 2nd daughter then found out I was pregnant and couldn't breastfeed. I would hold my daughter tight and wear a bra so she couldn't nurse but could have my breasts near here for security because that was all that I felt she really wanted anyways. I would tell her no when she would try to nurse. I hope that this helps. She was only nursing at nap time and at bedtime and I cut the other times out first.

I wasn't able to breast feed all that long, but I did for a few months. My sister breastfed for what seemed to be forever, but she would pump. That is an option, you could store it in the freezer, fridge etc. That way she is still getting the nutrition. However, I recall the days when my daughter seemed like she was hungry, and all she would do was latch and then go to sleep. I agree, she doesn't need to be fed every 2hrs at this point. Have you tried setting a piece of clothing of yours with her. Maybe she's just longing to be close to you--if you find some piece of clothing that may have your scent, maybe that'll soothe her as well. Hope things work out for you--it all just takes time. Different things work for different situations.

Two things.
1. She will wean, whatever you do. How many kindergarteners cut school to nurse?

2. Probably the best way to wean and to reduce your own stress whether she weans or not, is to set some ground rules. You are going back to school. This is a fact, and she will just have to find a nap routine that works with her in daycare. You will sleep at night. You may want to let her nurse, but keep her closer to you so that you don't have to wake up fully when she does. Once you set your mind that your goals and her needs will be met, and are at peace with that decision, she'll fall into line - maybe weaning, maybe adjusting her nursing. It won't be an issue - just a period of adjustment.

Good luck! Getting your education is setting an example for her that will serve her well later, and the good nutrition you've already given her will help her have the health and smarts to take advantage of your example.

E.

Feed her oatmeal right before bed time. If you don't have a night light in her room it is time to put one in there. Also a cuddly stuffed toy that can be wound up to play music. Get an alarm clock that makes the ticking sound. Don't feed her during the night. If she wakes up crying change her and give her a drink from a glass or sippy cup. She knows if she crys you will come running. Send your husband in to get her during the night and have him change her and give her a drink. Once she realizes your not coming running she will start sleeping during the night. My first daughter wanted to be fed every two hours day and night for months. My Mom is the one that gave me the advice I am giving you. I think she knows what she is talking about considering she had eight of us. Luckily my second one slept through the night from the day she was born. Good Luck!

Have you tried giving her a sippy cup with water? The spill proof kind are the best. Sometimes they just need the sucking for a moment.

When you are feeding her at night, you are training her digestive system to tell her she is hungry. She is waking up, because her body says it is time to eat. I know its hard, but you have to quit giving her nutrients at night. What I did: I began by givingg mine formula at night (rather than the boob) and then I started fading out the formula (an ounce at a time) until they were getting nothing but water. This might take a week or two. With the body not getting the nutrients, it will stop cueing her that its time to eat. You can choose to hold her with the bottle or sippy at night to offer comfort, or you can give it to her in the crib.

Best wishes
P.

Hi J., I breast feed both of my children. First get rid of the 2 feedings during the day, then a week later get rid of the nap feeding, and then eventually the night time. It won't be easy since she is using it for comfort. I wish you the best of luck
N.

Wow! What a great mom commiting to nursing for the last year. I wouldn't feel any guilt about your decision. You have given your child the best and have been dedicated to her needs 100%. She is the right age to stop nursing and the sooner you do it at this age the easier it will be for both of you. I am a mother of 3 and to quit nursing is one of the harder decisions to do and stick with. Just remember every time you give in it will make it twice as hard to quite for good. It really has to be a decision to quit and stick with it. You will feel so much better once she is weined and you will feel like you have your life back. Feeling guilty is normal but in the long run it is healthier to quit than to continue and feel frustrated and stressed.

I also second the advice about the LLL book. I went through the same thing with my son last summer when he was a year old. I went back to school after being home with him for the first year (I'm a teacher). I really didn't wean him prior to that, but he adjusted fine to just nursing when I was with him and having a sippy cup of water or milk when he was at daycare. I am just now weaning him fully at 22 months, for the last six months or so he has been nursing first thing in the morning, at bedtime and once during the night. So if you feel like you are running out of time to wean before school starts, I wouldn't worry about totally weaning her right now. Going back to school will take care of the daytime feedings and once you are all adjusted to that, you can work on gradually eliminating the other feedings over the next month or two. If you try to wean 100% now, it may be too much for her with starting daycare too. Good luck!

I became very ill while out of the country and in order to receive the medicine I needed for severe pain I had to stop nursing my son immediately. It was heartbreaking to listen to him cry for me but it honestly only lasted about two days! My husband was a huge help, calming him by rubbing his back and assuring him everything would be fine. My son was 13 months old when I stopped nursing him. Although "cold turkey" may not be the best way it certainly worked. I think I suffered longer than my son did (very sore breasts). He would "assume the position" for about a month afterward, lying down in my lap, and I would just have to redirect him but he wouldn't cry; he just accepted it. I think it's very healthy to set a goal; so set your goal and stick to it. You are not as far from freedom as you may think and trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I started to feel like a human pacifier! You can start to space the time between feedings starting today. I hope this helps.

Does she have a pacifier? If she is getting her nutrients then if you are not there she can not nurse, right?

S.