Trouble with Teeth Brushing

HAve you tried fun toothbrushes? I got my son one that is Thomas the train and it sings the theme song. He is 3 and is starting to not want to brush either. I also tried one of the brushes that moves. Like you, I don't want something he will have to do the rest of his life being a chore. I try not to push it or get upset. I try to make it a fun event with the different toothbrushes and different pastes, that way he can pick what he wants out. It works most of the time. When it doesn't, I just let it go for the night. Letting them "be in control" seems to help the process. Hope this helps!!! Good Luck!!!

My 2 year old DD went through the same phase...it will pass. It's just a 2 year old thing, trying to assert their independence. Continue offering him the choice of letting him brush his teeth or having you do it. If he feels he is able to be, somewhat, in control of the situation that may change his tune.

I'm with Kelly's bug idea. We use this with our daugther who is 2 yr, 7 months. She battles us now and then but we always tell her that spiders live in her mouth - we HAVE to get them out or else. She knows in order to get them out it requires tooth brushing. We even tell her they live on her tongue so brushes that too.

We found a FABULOUS video on youtube.com about Crawford the Cat who brushes his teeth. Now Lilli wants to brush her teeth like Crawford. We even used some books from Blues Clues dealing with teeth and such.

I feel your pain! I hope it gets better.
~C.

Wow--sounds like a power struggle. My daughter was the same way. She always wanted to learn to do it herself. It can be difficult allowing this to occur because you realize that cavities may be in his future. I would talk to the dentist or pharmacist and see if there are still safe products out there that puts a temporary color on the teeth. Once he brushes the area well enough the color goes away. Tell him he can brush but must get rid of all the yucky stain stuff. I used this product in the past (6 or so yrs ago). I also told my kids that if they do not brush well, they must go to the doctor because they will get boo boos in their mouths. (I didn't want to scare them about doctors.)

Hi S.,
I am right there with you. My 21 month old son was awful.
I discovered that if I put toothpaste on the toothbrush and have a cup with a little water in it, he will willingly brush! He likes dipping the toothbrush in water then brushing, then dipping then brushing. I know it sounds simple, but it made all the difference for him. Perhaps your son just wants to do more by himself?
Give it a try, you have nothing to lose.

I've been having issues myself with my 15 month old, and a lot of sites recommend letting the child go to the store and pick out their favorite "character" toothbrush to use... mine is to young to do that yet, so right now I still have the nightly battle- I can usually get away with it if I don't show any frustration, but if I make the toothbrush do something silly or make my son laugh, he's more apt to let me brush. Or if I pretend to brush with it, he all of a sudden wants to... Sounds like you have a stubborn boy on your hands- good luck!

What works best w/ my 2 y-o daughter is telling her there are bugs in her mouth. It sounds silly, but as I'm brushing her teeth I'll say "there's a butterfly, there's a spider, there's a cricket..." and she'll even chime in and say "get out of there, bugs!" It's the only thing that works for us, so maybe you can give it a try! I absolutely would not give up on brushing his teeth, though. You don't want him to end up with silver capped teeth. Maybe try telling him that, too :)

Best of luck!!
B.
www.MyKidsMyFuture.com

You need to brush your son's teeth and floss them also. Our dentist suggested that they lay on their back so you really get into the hard to reach places and you are catching any food stuck into their teeth. My son has sensory integration issues so he has to do chew on a hard rubber piece and that has helped me get into his mouth. It was a slow process but it has helped. Brush a little bit and take the brush out. His jaw may hurt trying to keep his mouth open for a long period of time. 10 seconds is an eternity to a child.

Good luck on the brushing!

I wouldn't get the electric cute toothbrushes they advertise. One of the local news reports did a lead test on them and there wasn't lead in the paint but a high amount in the musical part of the toothbrush...better safe than sorry!

Your son could have Selective Eating Disorder. I do not, however I cannot tolerate certain toothpastes - they make me gag. Let him experiment with different ones until he finds one that he likes...you and you husband can always finish off the unused tubes. There are some comments about Selective Eating Disorders in the files of MamaSource. My grandson started like this when he was about three with this disorder. Good luck.

Bless your heart--welcome to the horrifying stage between babyhood and childhood! I don't know why, buy my grandson did much the same thing. He was always so agreeable about brushing his teeth, but suddenly he started pitching the kinds of fits you're describing. I think it's just a power issue--you know, wanting to have control over his life. This is what I did: I asked my grandson why he didn't like brushing his teeth anymore. He said that the toothpaste tasted bad. (I don't know why it would suddenly taste bad--it was the same kind he had been using all along.) Anyway, I asked him if he would like to try GrandDaddy's toothpaste. (My husband has very sensitive gums and has to use Aquafresh Kids toothpaste.) My grandson agreed to try it and loved it. No more fits when it was time to brush. (I know you said you tried many kinds of toothpaste, but perhaps Aquafresh is one you didn't try.)

I would call a dentist and ask if it would hurt if you just "let it go" for a while. Just make sure that he doesn't get any sugar the last half of the day so that his teeth aren't so prone to decay. Say, maybe that's a way to go. If he'll agree to brush his teeth, you'll give him some kind of special treat before he does.

Sorry for all your trouble. I know you're miserable, but take comfort in this: He won't go to college still refusing to brush his teeth! This, too, shall pass!

Make sure that he isn't teething. It may actually hurt to brush if he is. Also check for canker sores. Other than that he is just being a two year old. The terrible twos is such a lovely time. My kids have all seemed to start early with the terrible twos around 18 months and doesn't end until they are 4.

He should come around providing that his mouth isn't hurting.

By all means you shouldn't battle with your child over anything that you're trying to get them to do on a daily basis. That will only cause more difficulty. Just because they're smaller than you doesn't mean you should force them to do things. Try to go about things differently by letting him come to the decision to brush his teeth. Trust me, this is much easier than you think. Let him know that if he won't brush his teeth then you can't allow him to eat any foods with sugar or starches because those foods can hurt his teeth since he won't brush. So, don't allow him to have goldfish or crackers of any type, juice, ice cream, desserts, etc. Every time he asks for these foods just explain to him that he can't eat those foods until he brushes his teeth every day. Of course he will be mad, but you are allowing him to make the decision. Chances are he will agree to brush his teeth within a few days if not sooner. Also, brush your teeth in front of him so that he sees you practice what you preach. That way you can tell him that you are allowed to eat an ice cream cone because you are willing to take care of your teeth. Also read him a good book about going to the denist. Berenstein Bears has a good one.
Good Luck! But please stop trying to overpower your little one and empower him instead!!! Power struggles aren't effective.

In our house, at least, teeth brushing is not optional. So, when our kids (3 and 2) go through that phase, they still get their teeth brushed. Sometimes it takes my husband and I to hold them down, but we do. We talk our kids through their feelings while they are having their tantrum.

With my son, who went through a very difficult teeth brushing phase, we would sing 3 songs. That way, he knew when it would end. You could also try setting a timer, just so he knows that it will end. Brushing bugs out helped my son, too. We would talk about the bugs we were brushing out. He would end up contributing with "There is a spider back there." And we would get it.

Sounds like he is testing the boundarys. If he has no medical conditions I would win this battle. If he knows that being bad will get him what he wants then he will get it that way. I would just give him the brush and let him do it and stand there with him. I think they have a chrildens listeren that will get all those germs out just to be sure. Also you try brushing your teeth at the same time so he knows "everybodys doing it". Good luck. Were cheering for you to win this one.

We have battled teeth brushing for quite some time. My daughter is 2 1/2 and we finally got to the point of pinning her down (two of us) and while she screamed we could brush! Plus those "cool" electric brushes, she hated them so much she bit down on it while it was running and broke it! I had to take her to the dentist (fell and chipped her front tooth) they were very helpful. Now, we have stool that she takes and places in front of the sink, wets her own brush, and then we proceed with brushing the "girl in the mirror" teeth. And when some nights that doesn't work, the dentist showed us placing our finger on the corner of her mouth (similar to the "fish hook" look) sticking our fingers on the inside of her cheek and pulling the cheek out then brushing. For some reason its not a move they can fight to easily. Also, don't give up the fight. They have to brush daily, this is a battle I picked to win! Hope this helps. Good luck! ~M.

I took my daughter to the dentist for the first time when she was 3yold. A little earlier than normal, but I had my reasons at the time. What resulted was an idea that we still use most nights to get us through the brushing part of the night routine. You wouldn't need to make a full appt. Maybe just take him with you on your next appt and let him watch. Maybe tell the hygienist that you're experiencing a rough patch as far as brushing your son's teeth. The expanation from someone other than mom/dad at times has a greater impact than it would otherwise. Our hygienist let Catherine ride in the chair and play with the air and water hoses.... That particular office also had a small stuffed lion with a full set of teeth that a child could brush with the foot long toothbrush someone in the office brought it :-)
Catherine had a great time on that visit. And the next time that we went (3yrs 3mos), she had a full cleaning (check, brush, floss, etc) without incident.
Here are some ideas that we've stumbled upon in our quest for ending our days on a lighter note:
1. Play dentist. Have the child lay down with head toward you and make noises like the dentist's tools do while brushing teeth.
2. Name the food(s) that you're brushing away that have been consumed since the last brushing. "Oh there's some pb&j! I better get it! Oh, and this tooth has some spaghetti sauce on it...."
3. One boy I know loves bugs. His parents explained mouth germs to him in terms of "bugs" - so his mom chases the bugs around his mouth with the toothbrush and then he spits them all out at the end.
4.Race. Have dad brush his teeth while you brush your son's, and see who can be done (thoroghly ;-) brushing first
5. Do you have House Rules? We do. No food outside the kitchen. No running with food in your mouth. Wash hands before eating. Brush teeth (at least) twice a day. etc...

Before using these techniques, we used to hold our daughter down to brush her teeth. That's not to say that she doesn't give us trouble anymore...just that she's 4.5yrs now and can be reasoned with differently. If I'd known then what I know now I would not have held her down then either. But you will have to judge for yourself. What will be harder? The pain of holding down a child and brushing his/her teeth while s/he screams like a maniac? OR having them restrained and sedated to put in fillings, crowns, etc because brushing didn't happen?

I hope that the ideas I listed help. Know that you are not alone in the nightly challenge of oral hygiene :-)

K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 18m

Sorry for any typos - nak today :-)

Hey ya S., I love this site, let me know if you find any good advise! See ya in class
S.

Being a mom of 4 grown children, we used the "we can do it the easy way where you do it by choice or we can do it the hard way whereby we do it for you". I didn't know any other way at that time. All four of our children are/were strong willed. They were told why something was important to do and given the instruction/reminders. Each of them at one time or other had to be forced to take medicine or sit on the potty or whatever. I understand the logic behind explanations and letting the child "choose" to brush his teeth, etc. but disagree on that method for every situation. If the child needs medical attention or dental care, how much parental talking would be required to convince them to make a good choice? I agree there are choices a child should be allowed to make and experience the result, positive or negative. That also is valuable learning. When each "why?" question demands a multitude of answers we would never have finished talking about it. I believe that a child needs some instruction, guidance and a firm hand when necessary. You as a parent have more experience in life and the intelligence to make wise choices for your child. I enjoyed using creative ideas every day; however, convincing your child to cooperate when they have a broken arm or need stitches or dental work is not elective in my book.

My boy too! We switched to old fashioned salt and soda (baking soda with a pinch of salt). That has helped. I also make sure that he brushes first - then me - but very softly to gain his trust back. I have real issues with my mouth - gagging and pain. So, be sensitive, it may not be just a phase. It may really be a sensation issue or taste issue.

Welcome to 2 1/2. That was when my delightfully opinionated daughter started to really exert her independence, drop nap, etc.. So, we have to be creative or we will have whole days where everything is a battle.

So, I was starting to have trouble with toothbrushing and we got her a Cinderella electric toothbrush. Now she LOVES to go use Cinderella and asks to brush her teeth.

I must say, though, I really like the 'spiders in your mouth' analogy. That's a good one that I think will work for her.

Do you brush your teeth together. My daugher is 18 mo. and loves to imitate everything. SHe wont brush unless she sees me brush and she wants to rinse it in the water bc she sees me do it.If she doent see the brush motion she chews. thats even difficult to get her brush too so your not alone.

Have you tried brushing his teeth in the morning? Also, Toys R Us have a toothbrush that when you press it against your teeth, it plays the Star Wars theme. That can make it fun. Another idea is to set a timer, let him see how long a minute or 30 seconds is first and only have him brush that long. Bribing is not always a bad idea, so you can always promise his favorite treat or toy to play with right after brushing. You're right, just don't make it an all out fight to get it done. Relax, it will happen in a relaxed manner in time.

S. i feel you read my story about my son patrick;i had no idea at the time that he was autistic; i am in no means saying that your child is; but he seems to have very acute sensitory issues; when a child has these feelings it is like rubbing his gums with sandpaper; you have to be gentle and very persistant; look up on any autistic web site for more information because we used many technique from the autistic spectrum disorder for our other children that proved to be beneficial for everyone.

I had the same thing with my 2.5 yr old just a few weeks ago. I am a bit of a unconventional mom, and I had my mom remove her bridge so she had a tooth missing in the back. Then she told my DD that if she did not brush her teeth they would Fall out like nanna's did. Well it worked because everyday she asks me to brush her teeth so they will not fall out. A lot of people would frown on this, but I was fighting a battle I felt I could not win. She had not brushed her teeth properly in 3 months and I was getting worried.....so I came up with this! Try talking to your son about why you are brushing your teeth and do it in front of him. He too might get worried. He does not have a sensory disorder like someone else suggested it is just a battle of the wills......not a condition!

hi S.,,
Drop it now theres no reason in all that mess every night ,make him a denist appoitment ans see if his teeth are doing ok get him some of that new cool mouth wash that shows the germs left aFTER YOU BRUSH (sry hit cap)your teeth and just have him use that at leasst
good luck L.

We do the kiddie electric toohbrush and tha works great.

I was the same way when I was a kid. What did it for me was going to the dentist & have not one, not two, but FOUR rather large cavities. Well, let's just say since that happened I've been a fanatic about brushing at least twice a day & flossing too ever since. Perhaps you should tell your son that if he doesn't brush his teeth, they'll rot, turn black & fall out or point out your fillings if you or your husband has any or even show him photos online of what can happen if he doesn't brush. That may sound harsh to some but it worked for me so hopefully it might wk for your son too. Sometimes you hafta BE harsh or somwhat crude (in a nice way of course) to get a point across. Good luck!

S. D,

I will suggest you take him to a good pediatrician who is familiar with Asperger Syndrome(high functioning autistic spectrum)for screening. Are there any other changes you've noticed? Write them down and discuss them with the pediatrician. You can at least begin your quest for solution by ruling out that option. I've come across several Asperger kids whose parents complain that brushing their teeth is a major battle. Many of these kids are known to be extra sensitive in their mouth. (many of them don't like to be touched, especially in their mouth)
I wish you the best.