Transitioning Our 17 Month Old Son Out of Our Bed

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you because I am having the very same problem! Except I'm only pregnant with one.It is so hard and I end up feeling guilty.I hope it gets easier. I wish you the best of luck. If you find a solution that works good please let me know.

Hi Sissy,
I was in a similar position. So, I put a blow up mattress in my son's room and slept with him on the mattress for 3 weeks. Probably didn't need this long, but I went with what felt natural. Anyway, it seemed harder and harder for him to fall asleep BECAUSE I was there. He would start crawling around and playing in his room. Finally, one night I said enough, and placed him in his crib, said good night and walked out. He was asleep within 5 minutes. Everynight following I put him in his crib and he went right to sleep with no tears :) yeah! I was never good with the tears.

I think he just needed to get use to his room. He is now 2 years 8 months and has a great comfort with his bed and his room.

Goodluck! Stay tough! You'll need him in his own room for sure when the twins come. I have a 8 month old that is now in my bed :) I hope the transition with him is as easy!

V.

You are doing the right thing trying to make this transition before the babies. We started doing the same after I found out I was pregnant. My daughter was two. I think for your situation what other moms have said about pushing his bed up to yours. Maybe put it on dads side because he could reach down in the night and rub his back. I think you might have a hard time reaching down with the tummy. And it would shift some of his needs over to dad because you are going to have your hands full in a few months. We were able to transtion our daughter at 2 into a bedroom shared with a older sibling. This went very easily. What ever you do make a decision , a routine and stick to it no matter what. That is the only way to do it. So decide what you and your hubby can deal with and stick to and do it. It'll make the transtion time shorter and you'll all be sleeping better in a few months right before the babies. congradulations on your growing family

Hi Sissy

Firstly congratualtions on the impending arrival of your twins! You need your sleep right now....!

If you want to do it the gentle way, you can try to position the bed right next to yours, so there is no gap, you can reach out to him to comfort him if he cries out. This may take a while for him to adjust to, so try and be patient. If you feel that you don't have the time for this (and time is ticking away), then I would try to get him into his own room right away. Otherwise you will have to move him out when the twins are born, and that is going to confuse him and maybe compound resentment when they finally arrive. If you think about it, it would be like your hubby making you sleep in the guest room and bringing in two mistresses...not a nice feeling.

We had a lot of problems transitioning our daughter from our room (and bed) into her own room at about 1 year. I wish I had just insisted gently that that was her special bed and she stay in it, rather that pussyfooting around backwards and forwards. I think it made it a lot harder for her to adjust as I was so hesitant (and dog tired!). Keep with it, make the bed nice and warm, low lights, a cuddly teddy bear, and constantly reassure. If you are tired, take turns. It will come, I promise.

Good luck.

I suggest you put him in his bed by himself without laying down wioth him and when he cries thats ok. It may take time to get used to for all of you but everyone will sleep better. When the twins come start them in their own beds and everyone will sleep better for years to come.

We are going through the same decision. How to transition our 18th months old boy to his own bed. We are getting a toddler bed and setting it up near our bed in our room. The idea is that when he is more used to his bed then we moved it to his room

Push his bed against your so it basically makes your bigger. You can lean on the edge of yours and put your hand on him. Once he starts sleeping again you can move his bed away from yours.

Hi There,

I understand the desire to keep you son close and I don't blame you. From your post though I am not sure why you would move your son back to your bed once he has fallen asleep in his. I would suggest giving him insentive to sleep in his own room not just his own bed. If you successfully get him to sleep in his own bed in your room that is great but then you'll be back at square one with getting him to be in his own room, I am assuming that is the ultimate goal with the twins comming to have him out of your room and in his own. You will have your hands full with the twins and if you move your son out of your room now the transition of the babies arrival will be easier on your son as well as you and your husband. You may have issues of regression with your son when the twins come so keep that in mind. If your son has attached to a lovey you could have the lovey sleep in the big boy room and see if that works or give him something special in the mornings when he has a successful night. If he does not have a lovey this may be the time to introduce one seeing that he uses you and your husband for comfort during the night and may have a hard time self soothing himself. Chances are this is not going to be easy your son will probably have a few if not several very rough nights upset and may cry for long periods of time. Stay Strong He will be OK!! Don't feel that you are a bad parent to let him cry that is the only way he knows to show frustration and he will be upset. When I was expecting my daughter we moved my son from the nursery into his big boy room and big boy bed 2 months before my daughter arrived he was 24 months. We did put a baby gate at his door so that if he did get up he had to stay in his room, mostly for safety reasons. We had a few rought nights but got through it. When I had my 3rd my daughter was only 18 months and still in her crib. My two girls now share a room although I did not put my girls together until the baby was 6 mo old and my 2nd was 2. I was a little concerned with my #2 possibly causing harm to the baby by crawling in her crib our tossing toys and books into her so I bought a crib tent for my #2 at Babies R Us. I was a little leary at first but it was the best 70 buck I have spend for baby gear. My 2 year old did not like it initially but she loves it now. Keep in mind too much change at one time can be overwhelming for some little.
I hope this helps!!
-R.

You've gotten quite a fwe responses her & I don't have much else to add except stay strong & consistent. No waivering at all cuz once you do, he'll take advantage of it. Find a method tahat works for you, hubby & son & stick w/it. Congrats on the impending twins & good luck!

Dear Sissy,
You better get your son in his own bed or you will wind up with 5 people squeezed into it.
He is a year and a half old and he can sleep in his own bed.
Where you are going wrong is dragging this out.
It will take some work on your part, but letting him know he has his own bed and that's where he sleeps, that you have your own bed and that's where you and daddy sleep, you will do just fine. Kids come to your bed....that's inevitable. Bad dream or can't sleep or monster in the closet. Let them have that cuddle time, but let them wake up in their own beds.
It sounds harsh, I know. But you are expecting twins.
Don't wait to train him to sleep in his own bed after they come. You will fight a losing battle.
Also, reiterate that he is the big brother. He gets his own nice, private bed with no fussy babies to deal with. His own special fortress!

Hi, there,
I had my son with me in the bed from age 2 until 3.5 years old. My second baby was born when my first was 3 years, 3 months, so for three more months, we were in a very crowded bed! Needless to say, at about 3.5, my older son felt too squished in the bed, I think. He was smashed right up against the wall, so he started to want to go back to his bed for the first time in 18 months! Of course, after the first night, he had second thoughts and wanted to come back to our bed, so this is how we handled it: we had nice, soothing music that he got to play in his room (which he really loved) and we gave him a night light that changes colors, so he can watch it and it lulls him to sleep. For about the first month, he would come back to our room in the middle of the night, but then it became less and less. Soon, if he woke up in the middle of the night, he would ask me to come to his room for a few minutes (less than five minutes) and I would. He was fine when I left. Finally, he figured out that he could just turn the music on by himself, so instead of coming into our room anymore, he just turns on the music in the middle of the night. I hear it come on once or twice a night, though it is also become less and less frequent. Maybe you can try the night light and music combo to help your son. I usually stay in the room for about 5 minutes before he goes to sleep and then I give a kiss and he is fine with me leaving before he falls asleep. Now if only I can get my 8 month old to sleep on his own!!! Good luck!

I don't kmow where you have his bed in your room but you might try it right next to yours. My daughter sleeps right next to me, in her bed, so I can reasure her by holding her hand if needed. It's kind of a hassle to get out of bed during the night, I have to climb to the bottom of the bed but we do get a lot more sleep this way.