Today at my work (I work with the public) a lady was with her daughter who was probably 4 yrs old and screaming at the top of her lungs because she wanted something and her mom said no. At first they stopped at the counter to get their items but when the screaming got louder the mother left her older son to finish up and went outside with her daughter. This kid was really loud, the worst I've heard in a long time and even outside the door she was shrieking and screaming so loud that people were watching from inside, and this was going on for a few good minutes, long enough that she would've had time to leave the area and go to the car or wherever and try to calm her down.
It's totally fine with me, I wasn't judging I felt bad for her. It just made me think though i know if it were me I'd wanna get the heck out of there ASAP because I HATE when people stair when my kid is throwing a fit. Seriously last time a lady was staring I was like 'what?! you've never seen a kid cry before?!' I understand a glance, but full on staring like what do they think they're going to catch you losing it and whipping your kid or something? Don't they understand it's already embarrassing enough?
So a few questions, what's the worst fit your child ever threw in public and did you get nasty stares or comments and do you reply?
Are you one of those moms who doesn't mind that your child is making a scene and you just continue on with your business? Or do you fly out of there faster than the speed of light and come back later for whatever is it you were doing?
Again I'm not judging and don't care either way it doesn't make me all upset like some old ladies I see that can't take a kid's screaming for even a minute, and I certainly don't stare because I know how it feels. It's JFF.
Thanks for sharing your stories, I am also fortunate that my 3 yr old doesn't have horrible tantrums in public. She does have some meltdowns occasionally but that is usually when she's tired and I should've known better than to take her out! Luckily I can also reason with her pretty good for a toddler and that has come in handy numerous times.
When my daughter was about 3, we were at an outside craft fair. She very delicately laid herself on the ground and proceeded to kick and pound her fists and scream. NEVER done anything like this before. We stood there and watched her and a small crowd formed around her. When she got all done and stood up, we started clapping and pretty soon the whole crowd was clapping. She was so embarassed that she never threw another fit. LOL.
I fly out of there faster than Superman!! I think my worst was when my son was about 3ish. He has Autism and lucky me one of his restricted interests was bathrooms/toilets. As a result he would beg to go to the bathroom to check it out rather than use it. So, we are in the store and I knew he had just gone and it was him wanting his fix vs. needing to go. He threw a screaming fit and I had to carry him out of the store screaming, "I HAVE TO GO POTTY!!" While strangers watched and wondered why my child (who appeared to be potty training age) was being denied access to the restroom. I could've died!
But... the crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow and now it's rather funny to me!
One time we were at Chipotle and he was sitting in the chairs. (He is tall, 2.5 at the time, and has sat in chairs fine since he was 18 months old.) The ONE time he ever falls out of a chair is in public. One lady freaked out! He didn't even cry, I might add. I was scared she was going to call the cops or something. Seriously, she acted like I was a child abuser. (I would expect a reaction like that, if I had skinned a puppy or something.) I would much rather people stare over fits, then look at me like I harm my child!! That was awful, and I took our food and left. My son doesn't really throw tantrums unless he is very tired, so I just try to avoid trips while he is sleepy. I haven't dealt with tantrum stares much. The one time he did, I just picked him up and left.
I will admit I do get really irritated when kids are throwing monster fits and their parents just sit and baby talk to them...like that will make them stop. There was a lady in the grocery store whose 3-4 year old was screaming and throwing things for at least 30 minutes. She walked around was like, "Now sweetie, we need to calm down."
I've been fortunate that we haven't had any huge meltdowns in public. A little fussiness and a tear or two shed, but nothing warranting glares or stares. KNOCK ON WOOD!!! But yesterday my three year old was upset that we needed to run errands. She had a melt down of epic proportions as I was getting her in the car seat. She was screaming like I was peeling her skin off of her. My next door neighbors rushed out because they assumed it was an emergency. When I looked up and saw them there I smiled and said, "Good. I have witnesses. I am not even touching her." So after she settled and got a bit of a snack she was ready to roll. But I was on guard all day just waiting for her to loose it. Thank goodness she kept it together!!
I ignore it, go about my business, and ignore the onlookers. I assume they are curious or empathetic. My kids were usually freaking out because they wanted to get out of there (3 and under) so leaving just reinforced it. I would finish up faster than normal though. I would not start looking at things I did not need, but I would finish my list and check out.
My kids very rarely throw tantrums in public, and when they do, I'm good at nipping it in the bud almost immediately. I consider myself very lucky in that respect. But a few weeks ago, I had only my 4 year old with me at Target. He wanted something and I wouldn't get it for him b/c he had been acting up. He started screaming, flailing, hitting, kicking, biting me... I am 8 months pregnant so people just looked at me like I was some big, dumb, breeding idiot.
My little sibling though was pretty bad. Of course he also had a few disorders. Anyways, when my mom was out with him, he would throw himself against the floor, shield his face and scream and cry and pretend like she was attacking him. She got cornered by concerned onlookers for 'abusing' her poor, sweet child a lot.
I'm probably the one giving the "sideways looks" when a kid is throwing a tantrum. Usually just to gauge the situation (or ask myself: "How would I respond to this?"). I consider myself truly lucky to have a great kid, she is very well behaved (in public) and follows instructions very well! Not to say we haven't had our "moments."
Like a previous poster said: You can't blame a kid for crying when you, as the parent KNEW it was time for their nap/snack/etc!! If I have to go somewhere and I even have a thought that dd might need something, I PREPARE! (Pack a snack, drink, book, other distraction!)
I think I have only ever had to leave a place (for a tantrum/fit) maybe twice. And, I would bet that they were both because she was tired! A quick cuddle in the car, or a drive around the parking lot, and she was sound asleep. I could then decide to go home or tote her around the store while I finished my shopping.
I am also very much bothered by the parents who just ignore it--sometimes I think they actually do not hear it (maybe because it is just constant "noise" at home?). Yeah, then there are the passive parents who are all "aw, honey, stop acting up. Sweetie, you need to stop crying. Mommy asked you to please stop." Ugh!!
Sometimes it IS hard to reserve judgment, though! Just last night there were 2 kids in the store and the older brother (~5) was being rough with his sister (~2) and he threw a toy at her and then shoved her over. I heard her head hit the floor from 2 aisles over!! I jumped over, asked "are you okay? where's your mama?" and the boy is all like "uh, she just fell." She cries "my head!" and then starts wailing! The mom walks over (arms full of stuff) and gives me the dirtiest look! I told her what happened and that the girl hit her head really hard. She just stared all blank-face. I asked the girl again "are you okay" and she mumbled "uh-huh, mama." So I slowly walked away. Finally, the mom reaches down her hand to the girl "get up, what were YOU doing?!" Goodness Gracious, the words that were going through my head for that MAMA (and the brother)!!!
I had the tantrum thing under control with all of my kids by age 3. By that age, they knew better, and knew not to throw tantrums or they would be in big trouble. But before then..I would HATE when they would throw tantrums in church. Sooo embarrassing! The worst was at a funeral. I sat waaaay in the back so that I could have a whole pew to myself. I brought all kinds of toys and snacks trying to keep my 12 month old son occupied. NOT! I had to leave out of the funeral several times. He was yelling my daughter name, laughing very loudly and screaming playfully at first. This was a very sad funeral, people were crying and he would laugh at the most akward times. Then he would go into loud tantrums. I had to leave out of the church several times. People would turn all the way around and look. I didnt blame them because this was a funeral, people were in mourning and my baby is making all of this noise. I didnt want to bring him and wasnt gonna come but I wanted to show my respects.
