Toddler Sleep Problems - Virginia Beach,VA

Oh my gosh! We are in the same boat as well -- all the way down to the child sleeping on the floor! We eventually took apart her toddler bed and now have the mattress on the floor! Sheesh! I think we'll have to let her scream it out too, but my husband can't stand it. He'd rather stand just outside her door and poke his head in every few minutes to tell her to close her eyes! Now, after stories (that I have to read) she requests daddy! Sooner or later, I think we all have to just let them holler for a litte bit! Good luck!

Not sure about this, but a guy at my husband's work told us how he was having a similar problem with his little girl. He and his wife (your husband may want to have someone come over and help)had the lock on the little girls door turned around for one night so that it would lock her in. I know it sounds bad but the couple stayed up all night to ensure her safety since she could not get out of the room. After an hour or so the little girl would get frustrated and go back to bed. Eventhough the little girl was up and down through out the night, the parents did not talk to her or go in and check on her. After one night the little girl did not get up the next night but the couple did close her door so that she would think that she could not get up and go get in mom and dad's bed.

However I don't remember how old the little girl was, and would be concerned about the impression that you instill in your child about their trust and dependablity in you.

Maybe you could do a compromise between the what they did and what your husband has been doing. Use the child gate, when your little boy gets up tell him to go back to bed so that he knows your there and that you hear him, he is not alone, but do not go get him even if he cries and screams all night. I know it is hard, but thing I have learned is that if you can be tough for one day and not give in you can usually rid yourself and your child of alot problems you may have.

Good luck, and be careful while deployed. Thanks for all you do. D.

My daughter has been in a Toddler bed since about 18 months and she has done the same thing. I tried the gate first and she would climb over it. Then I would shut the door and she would beat on the door until I came in there. My husband has been working in New Orleans since after Katrina hit. Shortly after he left she started wanting to sleep in my bed. I found out a month before he left that I was pregnant so I didn't have the energy to stay up with her half of the night so I gave in and let her sleep with me. I thought I had made a huge mistake but when he is able to come home for a night she sleeps through the night in HER bed. She also sleeps through the night when she stays with my brother and sister in law. So I am convinced that she only does it because she knows I will come in there and comfort her. Good luck to you and your husband.

First let me say Thank You for fighting for our country and being a part in defending our freedom.

It sounds to me like you nailed it on the head, he knows daddy will come and he cries until he gets his way. the only way to break this will be for your husband to leave him be. It would probably be ok to walk up to the door and let him know that everything is ok, but he needs to go back to sleep, but not enter his room. Children are creatures of habit and consistency, and they learn quick how to get their way. It might be hard for the first couple of nights, but then it should get much better. You know he can do it because he did it for grandma and grandpa so the expectation is there. Just tell him it is more about consistency than anything else. I wish you both the best. Take care.

I am currently having the same problem with my daughter (2). She sleeps until around 4-5 and then comes into our room and wants to lay down with us. In the beginning we allowed this and she would sleep until around 6-7, but we are now seeing the error of our ways. I asked my mother what to do and she said she used to let me in her bed for 10 minutes and then would send me back to my own bed. I am currently trying this method and it is working for us, so maybe it will work for you. I think he just wants to sleep with daddy and since daddy is being so obliging he sees no reason why he should sleep by himself. Good luck.

Hi there. We have a lot in common. My husband and I are also both in the Navy. I have a 4 year old and a 22 month old. When my younger son was 19 months old, I had to put him in a toddler bed. My husband was on deployment at the time. My son had started getting out of the crib and a pack in play as well. This obviously wasn't safe so I opted for the toddler bed. Now my son is a busy guy so I was not looking forward to his having that freedom. He surprised me for the first week or so and actually stayed in his bed all night. I closed his door during the night as I always have and put a childproof dooorknob on so he would not get out during the night. (His bedroom is near the staircase. After some time he started getting up during the night and playing and he would be on the floor when I would get him up in the morning. Eventually he began crying and knocking on the door at night. I would go in there, talk to him about it being time for bed and I would lay him back down. He still cries sometimes for a few minutes at bedtime, maybe 5 minutes at most. We have to ignore. I know he is not hurt; he just simply wants to get out and roam. I find him on the floor more times than not, but I know if he is uncomfortable, he will get back into bed. Basically it is a battle of the wills with him. And yes, I agree if your husband goes to him each time and lies with him, your son will expect it. That habit has to be broken. Good luck with everything. I am sure it is very hard for you, being on deployment.
K.

Yeah I think he just does it, because the father allows it. I have a 3 yr old daughter and lately she's been waking up in the middle of the night and coming to get in our bed. Sometimes as parents all we want is to nurture our children so we enjoy sleeping with them and thats when they get used to it and expect us to do it all the time. He should try talking with your child when he starts screaming. If that doesn't work whenever he gets out the bed just go in the room and put him back in the bed. You will probably have to do this all night, but eventually your child will get the picture. You might want to try using a night light and put up any stuffed animals if he has any, because he might just be afraid.

It sounds like some seperation anxiety. I didn't read all the responses but maybe your hubby could sit with him in his room for a little while,read him a story and maybe tell him a story about you wishing him good night and that you are well and doing good. My hubby is a truck driver and away all the time too. Sometimes my 3 year old won't stay in his bed, so we call daddy before bedtime. Sometimes I just let him sleep with me because I work too and don't always have the energy to stay up with him and make sure he stays in his bed.

I think he has trained Dad, like you said! I would suggest that Dad spend some time with him at bedtime, like reading a story, and then say goodnight. Keep using the gate, and when he gets up, Dad should at first give him 2-3 minutes of banging and crying, then come to the gate, reassure him that all is ok, and even go in to put him back in the bed, but DO NOT lie down with him. Dad should leave, and when he starts banging/crying again, give him 5-6 minutes this time and then go and do the tuck in/goodnight procedure again. Dad should not fuss, just say goodnight, I love you, it is time for bed, all very calmly. Keep giving him longer and longer intervals between the time he starts crying and the the time Dad goes to him. He'll eventually fall to sleep, and he will learn that people will come to him when he really needs something but that they cannot be manipulated to staying with him! This method really works (I know!) It may be rough the first few nights, but tell Dad NOT to give in, or you have to start all over. Best Wishes!

My husband and I have the same problems with our daughter. She turned 2 in August. We have done the send her back to bed thing and so far it hasnt worked. Now she will either sleep in her floor, in her closet, or in the floor of her brother's room. The past couple of nights she has slept in the bed with us. Personally I am out of ideas on this one. We also put a night light in her room and really it seems like she is scared of it and her new bed. Its been about 2 weeks and is hard for me to help her because at the moment I have a cast on my leg for another 3 weeks.