Toddler in Own Bed.

S.,
I must say I do this same thing................ The only problem is its 3 kids later plus me and my husband. Try hard to stop it now cause I'm telling you waking up every night in pain cause you can't get comfortable cause everyone else is comfortable ain't no fun.

I had this problem with my son. I think most kids that sleep with mom and dad will eventually want to try out their own bed. My son was about 4 1/2 when he did. He made the suggestion to go sleep in his own bed and so I made it stick. It's kind of like potty training...You know when they are ready.

My daughter gave me problems until she was 10 years old about sleeping in my bed. She had separation anxieties about that and about going to school. I had trouble about her sleeping in her bed because I would have to listen to her crying from my room and it kept me from sleeping, so I would get impatient.
Maybe you could give him a shirt that smells like you or your perfume or a special animal for when he does sleep in his bed as a reward?

S.,

I hate to say but I have the same problem and my son just turned 8. I think if I were more consistant he would sleep in his bed all the time by himself. He actually did last night for the first time in a long time. I normally have to lay with him but I didn't this time. I do know if you can make the transition now it will be alot easier. When he was an infant to 1 1/2 he did sleep by himself and then he got neumonia and that did it. I had to have him by me to know that he was ok. But I have faith in myself and him that he will be doing it soon. Just be consistant, that's the biggest thing.

Well this is what me and my husband did.I did the same thing.My husband worked offshore so i let my son sleep with me because I felt safe.now he is 3 .But what I did was this.First if your son watches a movie or something in your room to fall asleep, if this is the case.Put a tv in his room and tell him that mommy and daddy are turning off everything in there room so he can choose what he wants to watch.If you do not do the tv thing you can also.Lay with him at night in his room until he falls asleep and then get up.Throughout the night if he gets up put him back in bed and confort him until he is asleep. about a week of this and he will find confort in his room. If he is stuborn LOL like mine is.You give him his bath and I swear this works it is frusrating but works.After bath tell him it is time for bed and tell him goodnight and put him into his bed.He will get up but the second time respond agian I love you its time for bed goodnight.WHen he gets up agian don;t say anything just put him back into bed.Continue this and he will soon give up and fall asleep.It will be hard but this is what I did and after about 2 weeks me and my husband could not be happier to sleep by ourselve.Honestly that can put a dent in a marrage when the child is in your alone time.That is you and your husbands space.Let my know how it works.And if it doesn't I got some more for you.LOL>thanks and good luck Lisa Stanley

My toddler sleeps in bed with me as well. ANd it is the same with me. She will fall asleep then eventually get in bed with me at some point. I talked to my doctor, and she said that i needed to actually get her interested in her bed. MAke it her own. I have her help me make the bed, change the sheets, She can put certain things she likes in it etc. etc. She has jsut started sleeping in her bed at nap time time. ANd as far as the nights go, every night she gets in my bed later and later. Now I am a single mom. And yes, i like her to sleep with me, but i know that will not last forever. Also, her toddler bed is in my room. Eventually she will ahve her own room, but i want to slowly transition her. Good Luck!!
G.

I am in the same boat as you :( My daughter is 2 and she will do the same thing. Is he is daycare? I work at the preschool my daughter goes to and I think it is strange she will sleep there on a mat but when its home she will not..lol I am always told consistency. I wish you luck and if I hear anything from other parents I will let you know and hope you can as well :)

My first born was always in his own crib and bed, but my ex made me keep the second child in the bedroom next to the bed in a bassinet. This of course leads to the baby sleeping with us... Well, he is a big kid and the second time he actually kicked me off the edge of the bed I had enough. We had a queen and the baby started sleeping across the width of the bed instead of head to toe.

I asked my pediatrician about it and he said let him cry himself to sleep... well he cried all night long in his crib and after 3 weeks of sleeping and waking to a screaming sobbing 18 month old I couldn't take it anymore. I discovered that he would sleep with his older brother and be happy, so thats what I did.

They slept in the same bed until they were 6 & 4, at which point I got them bunk beds. They stayed in the same room until they were 10 & 8. Sometimes I still find them in the morning sleeping in the same bed and they are 11 & 9. Some kids just don't like being alone.

Some of it is pheromones. Try putting your pillow on their bed and perhaps even wrapping their mattress in sheets from your bed. Kids beds are also hard as a brick, a stark comparison to your soft comfy bed. Get a thick matress pad or something to make their bed more snuggly (put plastic sheet over top of that if they are young). Kids sheets are also rough and poorer quality than what you probably use. Be sure to at least buy a higher quality pillow case so its not rough to the touch. Some of it is also body heat, some kids get cold. Try the PJs that are one piece with feet and be sure they have enough blankets. A water bottle or even a heated blanket may be in order.

Good luck.

My daughter is the same way, and i know it is completely my fault. There are some experts that suggest that a kid not wanting to leave the family bed is a very good sign, and the issue shouldn't be pushed, its a very informative book called "the attatchment process of parenting" by dr sears, it might not sell you on letting him sleep in there but it might make you feel better about him still doing it.

S.,
I do understand completely. My daughter will be 2 in March, she sleeps with my husband. My son is almost 4 and he sleeps with me so needless to see, I do feel your frustration! I watch SuperNanny so I will be trying her bedtime techniques.
Good luck!

J.

Hi. Im S.. We had the same issue with our oldest daughter. It came down to us having to put a child gate on her bedroom door. We had to let her cry herself to sleep. I know that sounds awful, but she learned that she has to sleep in her big girl bed. It took 2-3 days for her to get used to it. but she did! =) Plus we let her lay in her bed with the lights out and watch her favorite movies =)

Hi,
Well, I know what you are going through. My son is also 3 and was a breastfed baby for 15 months. So, the attachment was as hard for him as for me too. Well, we did the same thing, put him in his bed and of course he didn't sleep as good so anything would wake him up and then he would be back in our room in no time. So, what I did was move his bed next to our bed and for some reason, we didn't have any trouble at all with this transition. I don't know why we didn't think of that sooner. He has never gotten up in the middle of the night to come meet us. The first few nights, I kept the tv on the cartoon network so that he could watch tv until he would fall asleep. We figured that was better than him crying until he feel asleep. Now, we are about to move the bed back into his room and I think he is ready for it. Sometimes, baby steps are better than big boy steps!
Try that and see if that works and let me know!
Hope this helps!
N.

I went thru this same situation with all three of my children. They each went to their own bed in different ways. My first was cold turkey when he was four. My husband and I got married and we moved so that's what happen with my first. My second was moved into her own room when #3 come into our family when she was 14 months old. For awhile we had two babies in the bed with us. We even bought a Cal. King size bed that year b/c she was sleeping with us off and on. She evenually with to her bed on her own. She is not a cuddly one like my first born. He still wantd to sleep with us and he's 8. The last was the hardest. She cried every night if we moved her to the crib. Well went on a much needed vacation and she and her sister stay with my MIL and when we got home we tried again and voila she stayed. She was about two when this happen. So my advice is it is different for everyone. Children are hard to predict. Let him go to sleep with the tv on if that is something you are open to doing, I know some parents don't let thier children. But I have to have the TV on to go to sleep so that my reason.
If I was in your situation (which I was with #1) I would just let him sleep with me until he is ready.
But if you want to do this now I would say when he goes to your bad at night take him back and tell him this is his bed boy bed. Buy hime new PJ, night light, and a good night book also a little flash light. Keep a nightly schedule- example: bath time, tv time, story time, then tuck him in and leave the room with the TV on or quite music.
Hope this helps,
Leti

I think you've hit on the solution, now you just need the follow through... CONSISTENCY. If he knows that every time he gets out of bed you're going to take him back to his own bed, he'll learn to stay put. I know you will be tired if you do this every time and stay consistent, but it should only be for a few days. He'll get it. Good luck.

is his bed a crib or a toddler bed?

I am a step mom to 2 older boys and a mom to a 20-month old. When I was pregnant my husband bought me "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber, M.D. It was one of the best gifts and my husband swears by it. They are very practical methods on solving any sleep issue with various ages. After just 3 nights of following the steps, my son began sleeping through the night with no problem.. and does still almost all the time. It is wonderful and I hope it gives you the success that it has given us!

I did the same thing. I put the my daughter's bed (2 years old.) in our room. She sleeps great. I just wonder if it will be hard to move it to her room?? I haven't tried yet and don't know when I will.

I have a 3 year old little girl she will be 4 in Feb. She sleeps with me. My husband sleeps in her bed. She will not even stay at her grandma's because she says she has to sleep with mommy. This has been going on for 2 years. If you get the answer let me know. I have tried everything. When I went out of town for 2 days she only went to sleep when she passed out because I was not there.

Try setting his bed up in your room and start there. That is what I had to do with my kids. They are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 and were sleeping in the bed with us. Now a month later they have their own beds in their own room. My youngest still sometimes ends up in our bed. I hope you the best of luck.

Start an award system. If you sleep in your bed this week at least 2 night s then you get a ________. Next week show him if you sleep in your bed 3 nights you get this_______. Visually show him on a chart and remind him at bedtime. Then in the morning when he did sleep in his own bed make him his favorite food to celebrate a little. Dont stress him out to much.Or yourself. My daughter sleeped with us till age 4. She had her own bed. My son did the same and still wanted to sleep in my bed when Mario was away. Now Marta she sleeps in her crib unless she is sick and wants both of us.It does take consistent and alot of hard work.Good Luck.

I am a 30 year old mother of a 7 1/2 year old. When he was 9 months old I divorced his father. So, until I remarried when he was 3 1/2 it was just me and him. I had a problem with keeping him in his bed too. So, I started putting him to bed in my bed. Then when it was time for me to go to sleep, I gently moved him to his bed. He still got his "mommy's bed fix", but he woke up in his room. Soon he wanted to go to sleep in his room. This worked wonders for my boy. I hope this helped.
-H.