Toddler Eating Struggle - When Does It End?

I guess there's not much you can do if daycare is serving snack foods, but honestly, two small snacks a should not make him refuse his meals. It's not like he's going to get goldfish and pretzels at his meals, so give him the meals YOU want him to eat. You can't force him to eat everything on his plate, but I would make a variety of foods from protein to whole grains, fruit and vegetables available to him If he's being a stinker about eating, dont' comment on what he's eating from his plate and what he leaves over, don't try to wheedle him into eating something, tempting as it may be. Pretend you don't really care about what he eats or not, so it becomes less of a power struggle. Good luck

at our house, I make the food, Iserve the food, they eat the food. If its not eaten, then they get no snacks until the next meal. I'm not a short order cook so what is served is dinner.

Put one food he likes on thep late, along with the new foods. If he eats it, good. If not, well then he won't starve. Don't make it a struggle, the more attention he gets from this, the more he will keep doing it. When mom and dad make it a non issue, he will too.

hi~
Yes it is normal for kids 1-3 to be picker eaters. Here are a couple of great sites with good info on picky eating:
1) http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp
2) http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Eating/-/Child/Fussy-e...

I would add:
* try not to be a short order cook
* try not to stress about it (when you stress he feels it and feeds off of it)
*always present him with the foods that you all are eating (without the expectation that he needs to eat it - e.g. place one green bean on his plate - it needs to stay there but he doesn't need to eat it)
* you can make a big deal about the foods that you are eating and how yummy they are
* know that part of the feeding pickiness is his way to exert control
* involve him with cooking (stirring, pressing cookie cutters he chose on bread to make sandwiches), etc
* is it is a food of his choice and he chooses not to eat it then do not prepare anything else. then do not let him eat until the next scheduled snack time - at that time he is presented with the food that he just refused (that he typically eats)
** good for you for not giving in to giving him sweets unless he eats a meal

some fun kids cooking sites:
http://familyplayandlearn.com/ToddlerCookingActivities-To...

http://kids-cooking.suite101.com/article.cfm/cooking_with...

http://kids-cooking.suite101.com/article.cfm/cooking_and_...

http://allrecipes.com/Search/Recipes.aspx?WithTerm=kids%2...

Remember try not to show your frustration (I know easier said than done) and set a good example (which I'm sure you do) :)

My advice would be to limit the snacks and to replace the pretzels/crackers/frosted cereal with fruit and/or vegetables. There is no reason that he should only be getting pretzels or goldfish crackers for snack time. If he doesn't want the fruits or vegetables, no snack. This should be a win-win situation, because either he eats the healthy foods or he is hungrier during mealtime for whatever you serve him.

If you don't want to continue jumping through hoops for him, don't. Give him the foods that you want him to eat. If he doesn't eat them, don't push it. He won't starve. If he knows that you won't give in, eventually, he'll get hungry enough to eat what's in front of him.

Aside from that, his meals seem ok. I'd maybe try to add a few more veggies in there. Maybe mix some broccoli, peas, or carrots in with the mac and cheese. Add a tomato or serve tomato soup with the grilled cheese sandwich.

Also, you mention that you don't give in to sweets until he has a proper meal. IMO, Nutrigrain bars, frosted cereal, and chocolate chip pancakes ARE sweets. They are filling him up with empty calories and giving him a sweet tooth.

But most of all, relax. Kids go through picky food phases all the time. Just keep offering him the foods you want him to eat. If you are consistent, don't give in to his demands, and continue to model healthy eating habits, he'll be just fine.

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At around age 2 a neurological thing happens that tags every single unfamilar (to the brain) chemical signature (aka stuff they put in their mouths) as poison. The 3 responses are gag, spit, or yuck. It lasts until around age 5.

There are ways to sneak in new foods (but these can backfire and the original "safe" food becomes yucky instead). Most parents start introducing a variety of delicious healthy foods right at the worst time (not their fault, the industry that sells bland repetive "baby & toddler" foods are at fault. From 2-5, only the previously tagged safe foods will be eaten willingly.

Try to avoid introducing ANYTHING new right now, and old favorites will return. It would be like finding poop on your plate or mixed into a favorite food at nearly every meal EXCEPT a couple. You would only feel safe eating those couple. As more and more meals show up without the taste and scent of poop, you'd feel safer eating them. Most toddler food strikes are less about power struggles and more about a failure to be able to communicate as an adult would.

Good Luck.

Oh I totally feel you! My son is 2 and 1/2 and I just had our second son and he started doing the same thing. I think this was an area he felt he had control over and was trying to just exert himself. What we did was one, I stopped the mid-morning snack all together. He can have breakfast, then water if he is thirsty. But no snack, because he was not eating lunch. I also stopped giving him fruit snacks because he was getting addicted and wanthing them all the time. We also started a practice of no drink until he has eaten a significant portion of his food. If he doesn't eat then he gets water only. But if he does eat well then he can choose a drink. Also if he doesn't eat dinner, then he can't have any evening snack. He can have his dinner offered again if he is says he is hungry but no snack, so he can be hungry or go and eat his dinner. So no we do breakfast, lunch, snack before nap if he ate a respectable lunch, dinner, evening snack if he at respectable dinner and no drink during meals and only water if he doesn't eat, plus we took away fruit snacks until he can show us that he is eating consistently. We are going to re-introduce fruit snacks but only if has eaten well during the day. It is amazing that just bringing in a few more guidelines and some discipline have totally changed his eating habits. He is a much happier kid as well as his blood sugar is more stable and he is eating a wider range of foods. You do have to be really consistent though. If you say no snack after dinner if he doesn't eat, you may have to let him to go to bed hungry once, for him to realize you mean business. Anyway, we had to get it through to him that as his parents we were going to see to it that he ate and that he did not have total control over this area yet. Hopefully you will get this lined out soon, I know how frustrating it can be!

It sounds like you know what you need to do... not make food a battle. If he eats a relatively healthy breakfast and lunch, let him choose (ie. nutrigrain bar, milk, whole wheat raisin bread, grilled cheese, mac'n'cheese). Snacks should be limited if they are just carbs (ie. a few goldfish, but if he is still hungry he can have fruit or yogurt). There is no reason that he shouldn't be able to find some part of a healthy dinner that he will eat... if he doesn't want to eat it, he won't starve if he ate a relatively healthy breakfast and lunch. You are not a short order cook, and you do not have to give in to him... he has learned how to control you. If my kids completely refuse dinner (on the rare occasion they will not even it one part of the meal), I will offer them fruit before bed... if they are hungry enough they will eat it. For my son who just turned 2, he will still eat some baby food veggies... so if he totally refused dinner, I will give him one of those at dinner time, but I do not make another meal or give him bread or carbs just so he will eat something. If they eat a good dinner, they get a treat after. Also, try to be creative... ie. my kids love peanut butter and will dip bananas or apple slices in it.... my daughter eats veggies pretty well, but is reluctant with fruit, so this helps... also, they like to drink applesauce and other thick liquids through a straw. Maybe make healthy smoothies with a fun straw. Other than that, just serve a variety of healthy foods... let him have choices for breakfast and lunch and dinner is what you serve... just don't make a big deal of it... praise him for eating eat, don't make a big deal if he doesn't. When he realizes he won't get an alternative, he will start eating more foods (my kids still refuse a lot of things, but they know they won't get something else so atleast they don't complain and will usually have atleast a few bites of something).

This is definitely a power struggle, and it will likely continue for a while. I would start small. For example, I didn't like the fact that my kids wanted to eat crackers ALL day long. Soooo . . . I stopped buying crackers and offered fruit or yogurt at snack time.

I've also found that with just one little one in the house, it's easy to cater to his/her needs and wants. But now that I have four, our favorite phrase is, "you get what you get, and you don't get upset." Try offering what you are eating, and don't make special meals for your little guy. I always try to include one thing that I know my kids will eat--even if it's just bread and butter. But that way, I know they will not go away hungry.

I always put a small amount of everything on their plate, even if I know they won't eat it. And then I let them eat and don't really push anything on them. I've found that the more they see unfamiliar foods on their plates, the more willing they are to try them. My kids actually like salad now, and they ASK for lettuce on their sandwiches. Ha! They've come a LONG way. Just be patient and think baby steps.

It really sounds like a phase to me. I reallt think it will pass and you should just do what you feel is right for your child. It seems that what he does eat is not so terrible, in fact even if he has a cereal bar for dinner with milk that is better than what many kids out there are eating! You may try supplementing his diet with a pediasure shake so he gets some extra vitamins, and possibly the fruitables juce which has veggies in it. Other then that i think you and he are doing great!

sounds like my toddler - about to turn 3 at the end of march. I try not to make a big deal about it, don't force him. The only thing I try to do is set rules - no cookies for breakfast. no donuts as a snack before bed. He does have to eat something of his "meal" He's all about snacks and sweets (thanks to my inlaws and school too) Its gotten to the point where I told my husband yesterday that he has to tell his parents NO MORE boxes of cookies and donuts and stuff in the house b/c I want those things to be special treats not common everday meal options. They never come in the house without it and they babysit 2 times a week - UGHH! Anyway - what I am trying to do is just find the GOOD foods he does still eat. Sweet potatoes he loves so he's been eating one of those a day, blueberries, watermellon, unsweetened apple sauce, grilled chicken, pasta, cous cous etc and I just try to offer him up those things first and make sure he's getting those things in addition to the "junk". He likes pretzels and hummus and wheat thins and cheese (expensive stuff too - LOL!) He likes to do everyting himself and he's very independent so I know he's all about control too so I just let him have it - I just try to make sure his choices are choices I want him to have and then I give him what he wants too - I try to keep it balanced for him - like I do in my diet too. I feel if I force or fight or anything like that its not going to work b/c as a child I HATED IT! I do wish he'd take one bite and decide though but he's over that too - maybe one day I can reason with him again, but until then...Often times he WILL choose some fruit over the cookies so I ask him first if he wants that. He won't even touch a veggie though. I just keep offering it to him. Usually b/c thats what me and my husband are eating. I just read some other posts and good points too: My son will say he's finished with dinner as soon as he sits but then minutes later he wants something...so I leave his dinner and try to be flexible with time and seating - if he wants to come back to take bites, then fine...again - as a child i hated being forced to sit at the table until my plate was clear...i swear most of the time he says hes done just bc he's ready to do something else. its not even about the food at that point. actually his dinners last about 5 - 10 minutes long. LOL! Also my husband comes home and eats WAY later than we do so my son likes to eat with him too - so I think thats part of his "game"

We have a one bite rule. Try try and try again, tastes change. Also recognize that meal time is a good battle ground for the little ones because they lack control in so many other areas of their life. Recognize when he is testing you and stand firm. My 2 1/2 year old sometimes does the same thing...making demands for more juice say before he's eaten his vegetables. I compromise a little, I show him the juice and then I say no juice until you eat 2 bites. Then I leave him alone, and the food there. When he makes his request again I remind him what he has to do. He understands, it's a battle of wills. Who is in charge here, you or him? I know what it's like to be exhausted and not want to go through with this but this is only the first battle, it will spread into other areas if you don't correct it. You are being tested. Plus, judging by his diet it is a diabetic's dream. You may be setting him up for this unless you get some real protein and veggies (whole) in there. P.S. this is my fourth child....I always say to my kids, no picky eaters allowed. :^)

Kids can really make mealtime no fun. My kids are super picky, too. My 4 year old will eat veggies when I make him. He has to eat a veg with dinner but he always whines about it. But he is old enough to know he has to. My 2 1/2 year old is way worse, She could live on bagels with cream cheese and bananas. At this point I don't think she can be forced to eat anything. When she's 3 I'm going to start to enforce the eating veggies. Until then I give her a vitamin and I make lots of muffins with low sugar and either veggies (carrots or zuchini) or fruit. I also give them "special juice" at breakfast which is V8 Fusion with fruit and veg in it. Kids that eat everything are rare. Do what you can, but try to relax for your own sake. Good luck.

YES WE WENT THRU MUCH OF THIS TOO WITH MY NOW 2 YR OLD GRANDAUGHTER. SOON AS SHE WAS BORN SHE WAS NEVER MORE THAN 2 OUNCES OF Milk 2 - 3 times a day. By the time she was 1-yr old she was up to 4 ounces. Yours does at least eat grilled Chesses that is WONDERFUL FOR Protein. OURS WILL NOT TOUCH Grilled cheese and WILL NOT TOUCH Peanut Butter. so now here is our problems. have a 2 yr old granddaughter who has sensory integration disorder with feeding/eating disorder real bad with small motor skill problems and malnutrition and test 2 times in the last 4 month positive for fecal fat that is where her body DOES NOT ABSORB FAT. This sensory problem really has a effect on ALL HER SENSES. We will be going to Cincinnati Childrens hospital to a feeding clinic to see how they want to handle this. The docotrs here 4 different specialist want her to have a feeding tube but my daughter wants a 2nd opinion. She has birth to 3 since she was 10 months and they are really helping her too.. SO THAT IS WHY WE ARE GOING TO Cincinnati to feeding clinic HOPE THEY CAN HELP US.. Hope you do find out your problems. She has OT,PT,Nutrionist thru Birth to 3. SO CHECK OUT WITH ALL THE DOCTORS YOU CAN AND GET THE HELP YOU CAN..

Your toddler is starting to realize that he is a seperate person with "power" and he is testing his limits. I see a LOT of empty calories in his diet...nutrigrain bar for breakfast...frozen sweetened cereal or gold fish for a snack. Why not scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast? Fruit for snack? Now I am NOT a healthy eater myself...and my health ( or lack thereof) proves it...but my 25 month old grandson thinks that yogurt or fresh berries are a treat because he simply does NOT eat candy or sugar! I am sure that he will have a long healthy life because of the habits that are being instilled in him today.
You can't fight your son on this...the more you react to it the firmer he will get in his battle mentality. Just refuse to be a short order cook...make sure that SOMETHING that he likes and is familiar with is served at each meal. Put his plate in front of him...let him eat what he wants...and when he is done...he is done. He won't starve...believe me!!!

ohhhh, that's tough...what a stinker...my 2 1/2 year old is in a similar situation, but not as bad. She wants snacks ALLL the time...it's a constant battle...or she says she's full at dinner and then wants something RIGHT before bedtime...ugh!

we haven't tried this but one of my good friends tells her daughter, at dinner for example, "fine, you can be done eating, your food will be right here if you're hungry." She leaves it on the table and if her daughter says she's hungry anytime before dinner she tells her that she can finish her dinner...I've seen her daughter actually go and finish her dinner an hour and half later!!

Also, I don't know if this would help, but can you offer him some choices or ask him what he wants? maybe he says the same things all the time anyway, which is tough...I've noticed our daughter does much better if I either give her two choices or if she helps me make her meals (the involvement gives them a little sense of ownership...)

Good luck!!! Ack, the terrible twos!!!!! I've heard 3 isn't much better- save me! LOL.

Pick your rule and your consequence. Stick to it. He won't starve to death. Worked in our house. DD has to eat her meal within reason and she can only have healthy snacks (some exceptions) but expecially if she doesn't eat her meal well. At dinner she eats 3 bites of everything on her plate to earn dessert. If she fights or fools around she has to take a time out and looses dessert privilages. Best wishes.

Your son is not the only one who does this. In fact my pediatrician calls it the "toddler diet." My son is 5 and we still struggle with him, and our other 2. What I do is this: I prepare meals that has at least one thing that everyone likes. But I serve everyone the same thing. My kids must take at least ONE BITE of everything. If they don't like something, fine. But if they refuse one bite, they get NOTHING else until they have taken the bite. So, if I am having chicken, corn and rice - my son will eat the chicken but generally fusses over the bite of corn and rice. If he takes the bite(s) he can have more chicken or "dessert" which is often fruit or yogurt, occasionally a cookie or 2. If he doesn't take the bite, he doesn't get anything else until he takes the bit, including snack before bedtime. But, I start fresh the next day. It has taken A LONG LONG time to get him to accept new foods, but he has. We've seen the biggest change in the past year, he will now eat eggs, ham, turkey, chicken that is not in nugget form, meat loaf - no acceptance of veggies yet but eventually he'll eat something. So will your son. Try not to get to stressed, he'll just feed off that energy and protest harder...

Our son is a sucker for reverse psychology but I can't remember what age this started- 2 1/2 seems early for it. What we would do is say "GOOD! We are so glad you won't eat it becuase that means you'll stay small and will be our little boy forever"- he would clear his entire plate quickly! Then when he was eating we would pretend to be angry which would errupt him in laughter.

We have been fortunate to have very good eaters- but from the beginning it was stressed that you have to eat good food. What about offering him a treat if he eats all of his food.

My niece and nephew are notorious for not eating meals and filling up on snack food. When they are with us we try to hide all the snackfood and fill them up with meals. It is so hard, but we have been successful.

He sounds perfectly normal to me. Certainly do not make dinnertime a
battle. You could always try sitting down to dinner and not give him a
plate. Fill everyone elses. He will come around and want to eat what
you have on your plate. He will definitely come aound. Good luck.

OK - it is time for some "tough" love mom... meal time is meal time. One meal is served for everyone & everyone sits down for meal time. In our house the kids all have to stay at the table till they get their medication (even if it's just a vit) & meds aren't served till after mom is done eating (mom is usually the last to sit down after serving everyone so I'm the last done eating). If they don't like what is put infront of them sorry but tough - I'm not a short order cook! Don't get me wrong - I do try to make things they like & mix in new things with it. If I'm making a new meat, I serve it with a side I know everyone likes and if they want more of something - they had to have tried (even if it was a really small bite) everything on the plate.

I do know my 4 yr old doesn't like green beans, but he get a few everytime I cook them (which is a least once a week) and yes he has to eat at least on bean to get seconds of whatever he was extras of. All 3 of my kids dislike brussle sprouts & asparagrass, but when we have it about 3 or 4 times a year - they have a sprout or stem put on their plates & yes to get seconds they have to try it again.

Now saying that - my kids & hubby all love sausage & mommy hates it, but I do make it & I do eat it with a smile on my face... my rules need followed by everyone & I'm the best person to set the example.

Right now I think your son is trying to figure out who is "boss" and at this point I think he is winning the title. It's time to take the title back. If he doesn't eat dinner or picks at it a night or two it's ok - it sounds like he is getting plenty during the day. He will see soon enough that he isn't going to "beat" you and will start eating & trying things again soon.

Good luck - remember stick to your guns, it will be easier to correct this now then it will be later.