Toddler Bed/Sleep Routine

Updated on January 21, 2009
M.H. asks from Cedar Rapids, IA
6 answers

My son is currently 19 months, around Thanksgiving we got a twin bed (mattress and box spring on floor) and put it in his room, he immediately wanted to sleep in so I was letting him for naps and then his crib broke and had to get rid of it so we made the transistion to his big boy bed. The first couple nights he slept fine (as well as in his crib) but now it takes forever to get him to bed at night. We have a gate in his doorway so he can't leave and he is ok with us putting that up and getting ready for bed but if we leave he gets up and wonders around his room (no toys, only books) and eventually will cry. We go in put pj's on, read a few books and give him a snuggle and then I try to sit with him until he is calm. Some nights he is out cold shortly after I leave, others it goes on for an hour or more. Any suggestions on getting him to fall asleep easier (in his crib we did CIO and if he cried at all it was just fussing for a few minutes and then he was out) THANKS!

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J.P.

answers from Milwaukee on

It will get better. It's the joy of not having to go to bed and stay in bed right now that makes him do this. My daughter did the same thing. After the 'newness' ran out, she started to go to bed, stay in bed and didn't get out.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

We are going through the same thing with our 21-month old. We haven't done the CIO with the big-girl bed (only because mommy is having a hard time listening to the crying). We've resorted to laying in there with her until she's asleep. (It needs to stop soon, so hopefully some of your responses will give me the motivation to work on this more!)
Our biggest problem is with her waking in the middle of the night. We have been letting her come into our bed most nights just so we can get the rest now--as I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy. If anyone has suggestions for middle-of-the-night waking in the big-kid bed, please share!

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T.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I understand what you are going through, our son was 14 months when we moved him into a toddler bed and we had a similar situation with the sleep pattern. What we did is we made sure he had some toys that were safe for him to play with without us watching in his room and then we closed his door (he always had a closed door since birth due to cats) and let him cry it out. It did take a while (week or so) and I wouldn't let him cry for more than 10 or 15 minutes without comforting him again. Now what we do is we go into his room turn on his nite light and radio and read 2 books and rock. Then I tuck him in with his stuffed animals and say good night to all of them complete with kisses and hugs for each and he says good bye to me. I know he is ready for me to leave. If he isn't ready for me to leave I will rub his back briefly (maybe a minute or two) and tell him that I am tired and need to go to bed to and that I will see him in the morning. He then usually will go straight to sleep. Some nights he will get up and turn on his light and look at books and/or play for a while and then will turn off his light and go to bed. I know it is hard for both you and your son but he may be struggling a little bit with realizing he is a seperate person from you. I hope this helps and good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was lucky with my 23 month old in that he transitioned to the toddler bed (and mattress on the floor at Grandma's) with ease. However, since there are a MILLION toys in his room, he has been known to get up and play with them. I have a video monitor trained on his bed, so if he's not in it, I know he's playing with toys. We just pull the door shut in his room, and he has not yet figured out how to open it (consistently). Anyway, when I see him out of the bed, I simply go in there, say nothing to him while putting him back to bed, tuck him in, give him a kiss, and say good night. Then I leave and repeat the procedure as many times as necessary. There have been a few naptimes where I've had to go in 5+ times and repeat the procedure. However, he eventually understood that this was going to continue, and bed was where he needed to be. I do make one BIG exception to the "no toy" rule. He is allowed to get books off his bookshelf and bring them back to bed. He's been known to sleep on top of a giant pile of books, but at least he's reading AND sleeping!
Best of luck (and patience),
Amy
p.s. Please, at all costs, AVOID sleeping with your child in his room. Kids love this, and it can be really hard to break the habit - they feel they need your presence in order to fall asleep. Not only is it an inconvenience for you, but it delays their ability to get used to the new routine and self-soothe.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree that you should keep up with his routine. He is on the young side for moving to a big boy bed and it will just take patience and consistency on your part. When my son had evenings where he seemed to have extra energy or be twitchy/wanting to move around, we added in a back massage or what he calls "pushing him into bed". The "pushing" consists of tucking the covers very tightly around his body and legs. Then I use both my hands and put steady pressure downward on his shoulders, holding for 10 seconds. Then I repeat that down his arms to his hands, then his hips and down his legs to his feet. After his feet I work my way back up, ending with his shoulders. It helps him quiet his body and feel more grounded to the bed. Sometimes it also helped to tuck his stuffed animals all around his body and even on top of him to create a tighter sense of space like he experienced in the crib.

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

I think it sounds like he just needs a little bit more time to adjust. Don't give up on your routine...it sounds like it is working!!!!

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