To Buy or Not to Buy

Updated on December 17, 2008
R.D. asks from Round Lake, IL
16 answers

We have some very close friends that I will buy holiday gifts for their child. One year they purchased gifts for my whole family, me, husband, and 2 daughters. The following year they did not. Then this year they purchased again for the whole family again. In the meantime, I purchased gifts for their child's b-day and holiday every year. I already purchased gifts for the child this year, but I am wondering if I should get gifts for the parents also. I'm not saying that you buy for me, I buy for you but I never bought for the parents and am starting to wonder if I should. They are hard to buy gifts for. They are financially more stable than we are and I can't shop where they usually do. I don't want them to feel like I gave them gifts only because they gave them. So, do I buy some for them and what are some ideas that won't break my budget? I thought about restaurant gift cards but they live in the city and I have absolutely no idea where they like to go.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas...I really appreciate them all. That's why I like this site so much. I would like to bake something for them but I am not much of a baker. I do like the movie tickets idea.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Get an inexpensive basket from wal-mart and fill it with candy and microwave popcorn....then get them a gift card for Blockbuster or Netflix....and you have a low priced gift that they can use on cold winter nights together...and while it is low-priced, it looks like you put a lot of thought into it! You could also add a fleece blanket to the basket or some other relaxing items (bottle of wine or liquor)....wal-mart also sells the crinkle paper to fill the basket and the shrink to fit plastic to go over the basket! Good Luck...hope this helps!

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P.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would bake them a tin of cookies or candy. Even the silce and bake ones are yummy and reasonable. I think it is silly for grownups to try and one up eachother at christmas.
It really is the thought that counts.
I have a really easy cookie recipe 1 choc. cake mix 1/2 cup oil and 2 eggs. mix them all togeather (no water) roll into 1 inch balls roll balls in powdered sugar and bake at 350 for about 10 min. Ungreased cookie sheet. There called Swiss Chocolate Cookies.
Best of Luck
Movie tickets and a promise to baby sit might also be nice and not break the bank.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I dont think you have to buy for someone just because they buy for you. If you traditionally have purchased for just the children, then keep it that way. Maybe they purchase for all of thier friends to keep it even between who/what they give, but that doesnt mean you have to start too.

If you feel like you have to give something, then I like the idea of making/baking something and giving it in a nice tin, box or basket. You do not have to try to keep up by shopping the same stores they do.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

R., if it were me, I'd bake something for them. Of course, if you are not a baker, that wouldn't work. I enjoy making homemade quick breads for people for whom I'd like to get something but not sure what. Good luck and best of the holidays!
S.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Wine! Trader Joe's has a wide variety of great wines for under $5.

Go for it!

Aren't the holidays lovely?

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A.R.

answers from Peoria on

I would definatly agree with the other posters who said go with something home baked. My mom used to give her friends friendship bread every christmas.

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L.B.

answers from Peoria on

Hi R.,
I would buy a bottle of wine & keep it ready just in case. If they give you a gift than give them the wine, if not, than keep the wine for yourself. You can always add a homemade treat with the wine if you want. You can find a decent bottle for $10-$15, especially if you find a good sale.

This is EXACTLY what i was going to write!

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L.S.

answers from Peoria on

I would suggest giving something that is personal but low cost. Some baked goods, make your own mixes, coupons for babysitting so they can have an evening at home, etc. Something unique and special that shows your appreciation/friendship but doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would make cookies or homemade jam or a cake and put them in a nice holiday box - homemade presents are much nicer than store bought and it means that you are being warm and recognizing the holiday season.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think what I might to is to put together a pretty package of homemade Christmas cookies and present it to them with a short handwritten note thanking them for their friendship -- and how much they mean to you and your family (assuming you feel this way.) You've gone 2 years without giving a material gift and shouldn't change your gift-giving practices -- especially in these economic times. It sounds like they are wonderful friends who are letting you know how much you mean to them. It won't take a material gift to return the sentiment!

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G.G.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know your budget and would personally consider these ideas to be pricey, but I'll toss them out there for you to consider. I like them because they're family gifts, so it's one stop shopping.

Membership to Brookfield Zoo (family plan is $101 for one year) or Lincoln Park Zoo (household membership is $70 for one year). Shedd Aqaurium ($115 for one year, family plan) or The Museum of Science and Industry ($105 for one year family plan, and they have a Harry Potter exhibit coming in 2009).

Also, tickets for a Disney/Sesame St on ice type show, or maybe the circus.

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D.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi R.,
I would buy a bottle of wine & keep it ready just in case. If they give you a gift than give them the wine, if not, than keep the wine for yourself. You can always add a homemade treat with the wine if you want. You can find a decent bottle for $10-$15, especially if you find a good sale.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

I am sure they wouldn't see it as a "pity gift" or anything just because they bought for you. But I do think it would be a nice thing to do!

Could you give them AMC movie theater passes? They have those in the city, right? I think one of those movie packs (with two tickets, popcorn, etc.) would be a nice, thoughtful gift.

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I.K.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think you have to buy for the parents. If they are good friends, I'm sure they are very grateful for the presents you buy for their kids. That should be enough. I know we don't feel that way in our "friends" situations--whether we did the buying or they did. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

With a lot of our close friends (and now even with our siblings), we've told the parents that "we have everything we need right now and would it be OK that we just have the kids exchange gifts from now on?" It's seemed to work pretty well and didn't offend anyone.

I also like the idea of baking something and bringing it with you.

Hope you have a good holiday!
M.

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J.L.

answers from Springfield on

Hi R.,
I personally don't think you should go out and spend "money". I am a SAHM as well, and we are on a tight budget. So when this type of thing comes up for us, I make Christmas cookies, friendship bread, a loaf of pumpkin bread (or any type of yummy bread for that matter), or some kind of craft item. This year I saved back my large jelly jars, and large salsa jars, and put potpourri in them, decorated them with wire ribbon, and bows and they are really pretty!! And it was very practical for our budget!
Hope this helps!

Merry Christmas!
J.

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