Time Management

S.. I am a full time working mom as well. I wear many hats and juggle many balls. When you work its hard to find time for yourself, you feel guilty, as if you need to spend every moment with your child when you are not working. Think about things differently. When you get regular exercise and a bit of time for yourself, you are healthier and happier. That alone makes you a better wife/mother/employee. You dont have to join a gym. Do a tape or go for a walk....just make the time because you are worth it. Also, ask for help!!! Use your supports
Hope this helps

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SAHM - Stay at home mom. Don't we all wish we were one! Yes, I'm a full time working mom (anywhere from 40-50 hours a week). It is very difficult to manage the time. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about exercise right now because of the fact that I'm pregnant with my second at almost 7 months with an almost 9 month at home. (Yes, I'm crazy!). Balancing time...is just a matter of that. Trying to balance it. When you're doing something whether spending time with your son, your husband or working..just make sure you're in that moment and not worrying about the other things. Somehow this has worked for me. Exercising for me will come later on and I know I'll get my exercise in when I can. It's not a top priority for me but eating healthy and getting the sleep is. Hope this helped!

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Hi S., I am a 36 (yikes, as well!) year old working mom with 3 children ( ages 16, 7, & 3 ) who is also just starting divorce proceedings from my husband of almost 11 years! Yeah, I'm busy! I worked three 12 hour ( 7 pm-7 am ) shifts a week for 8 years with time off to have my daughters until this past June when I entered our weekend only position. I now work every Fri & Sat night shifts but get paid for 36 hours. This has made a HUGE difference in my life- I now follow a more "normal" schedule & feel as if I have time with my children. I just felt like a chicken with my head cut off before with no time to do anything for me or anyone else. It is very difficult to fit in exercise at the end of the day, I am assuming you work during the daytime? I have found the best purchase I ever made was my jogging stroller, then it's fitness you can do with your baby, even if it's just walking after dinner.

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Hi S.,
I'm a Mom in Pawtucket too. I work full-time and have 2 yr old twins. Just wanted to say the finding time thing gets easier as they get older.

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Hi S. -

I'm a mom who works full time (M-F, 8+ hours a day, plus 3 hours total commuting time). We have a 15 month old son, Pete. I went back to work after a 3-month maternity leave. (BTW - SAHM means STAY at home mom, not SINGLE at home mom!)

My husband and I have split the kid duties and household chores, which makes things a lot easier. My husband leaves early (around 4:30 - 5:00 a.m.), so I get Pete up, dressed, fed and I drop off at day care. I get to work at 9:00 a.m. (I leave the house at 7:25 a.m., and take the commuter rail in after I drop off Pete); I get home around 6:20 p.m. My husband picks Pete up between 5 - 5:30 p.m., and feeds him dinner (and often makes dinner so that it's ready when I get home). On the days when I have to go in early for a meeting, or Paul (husband) needs to stay late, we switch off - he does the drop off, I do the pick up. We have a house cleaning service come in once a month, in addition I'll wash the floors, dust and vacuum at least once a week. Paul does the grocery shopping and the laundry, and he mows the lawn. We're fairly neat, so the house doesn't get overly messy between professional cleanings. I also pick up Pete's toys every night, once he's in bed, so that the family room stays neat.

Pete goes to bed between 7 - 7:30 p.m. each night, so we generally eat early, together as a family, once I get home (Paul will feed Pete around 5:30 p.m., but Pete will sit in his highchair with some finger food - fruit or animal crackers - while Paul and I eat dinner). We then play with Pete until it's time for his bottle - I'll get him changed into pj's and an overnight diaper, give him his bottle, and take him upstairs to rock him for a few minutes before putting him into his crib. We've found that establishing a routine makes things much easier for all of us.

Our weekends are our family time - we do other things, but generally reserve at least one day to hang out as a family with just the three of us (Sundays, usually). Sometimes we do special activities (go to the zoo, for example), and other times we just stay at home. Because we have limited time during the week to hang out as a family, we've found that all the time spent with Pete is pretty much "quality" time. We keep the TV off, so that we're spending time focusing on Pete (reading, playing, etc.); he'll have enough opportunities to rot his mind as he gets older! He takes one or two naps each day (he's transitioning to one nap a day), so we have some time to get stuff done while he's sleeping. All in all, this works for us, although I have to admit that I haven't had a chance to resume my exercise routine (such as it was) since Pete entered our lives. Now that he's going to bed earlier, I am going to dust off my yoga and pilates DVDs to do later in the evenings.

Hope this is helpful!

B.

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I'm sorry that this I'm not a big help but I understand your frustration. I work part time, but I have a two year old, three year old and an eight year old! I always have to take into consideration what everyone else is doing and when they need to get there, etc,and THEN, I figure out my work schedule! I am in a constant battle trying to find time for my husband and most of all, myself. I have tried taking dance lessons and yoga, but it seems that as soon as I've taken a few lessons we run out of money to support it. I know that me time is very important - unfortunately, we don't seem to consistently have the funds to support anything that I would like to do. I've gone to counseling for years and the "me time" issue is a constant concern. I've tried taking walks by myself but I rarely have a time when my husband is home and willing to watch the kids when it's not pitch black or freezing! I wish you luck in your time management problem - I've decided that it's something that I have to consistently work on to keep up with the flow. Hang in there!

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S., I know it is very hard to get to the gym because you feel like you're putting yourself in front of time spent with your child but if you could take an hour a day after work or before or even half before and half after that would be enough to get you started. YOu could even take the baby in a stroller and walk, if you can't make it to the gym. But remember with little ones it's not always the quantity of time spent together but the quality. I always wondered what SAHM meant too maybe someone will tell us.

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Hi I'm K. from Chelmsford. I work full time also. I'm 38 and have a 2 1/2year old. For Fitness I wake up at 5:30 AM and walk the track. It's taken me a long time to get into the grove of that. Some days I would tell myself I was too tired and turn over to sleep more other times I would just not feel like it but I've kept at it and am finally committed. I get an hour for lunch so sometimes I will walk during lunch. I've come to the realization that I have the weekends for my family and I don't get too caught up on the amount of time I spend. For my husband well i figure he's a big boy and understands since we are in the same boat. Right now our concentration is our son. We don't have many relatives that can watch our son for us so going out on dates is very rare. When our son is sleeping is when we spend the most quality time with each other.

Now you need to get hip with the computer/text message lingo! BTW is 'By The Way' and SAHM is what we are not 'Stay At Home Mom'!

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Hey S.,

SAHM means Stay At Home Mom. I work full time plus sell Tupperware on the side. Have a husband and I 15 month old that doesn't stop. I too have ZERO time for working out. I have been trying to find someone to go walking with but everyone goes early in the morning and I can't, so I'm in the same boat! I can't give up selling Tupperware because I love it and it brings us extra money for fun stuff and I really can't give up working, so I really just do the best I can. It is so hard but if you get any good tips I'd love to hear them.

Good luck!
A.

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Hi S.-
I am also a full time working mom, my daughter is 22 months old. I also find it very difficult to balance time for my child, husband, and myself (what is me time?). I typcially put my husband and myself on the back burner and focus on our daughter. When my husband gets upset I remind him that he would not love me as much if I was not such a great mom! As far as finding time for the gym I have given up on that. My husband tries to get me to go with him but I value my time with my daughter way too much, so I figure big deal if I am a couple of pounds over weight. My daughter doesn't really care if mom is a little chubby!
SAHM means Stay At Home Mom, which I really wish I could be!

T.

SAHM is stay at home mom and WAHM is usually work from/at home mom. When I had my eldest I was working full time and in school part-time, it's very hard to juggle everything and you are constantly having to decide what's most important to you at the moment- sleep or clean dishes, time with hubby or quiet 'me' time. There isn't right answers, there's only what works for you & your family.

Hi S., My name is D.. I have 2 girls 8 and 3. I work almost 50 hours a week. It is so hard I try my hardest to do everything for everyone and it always seem as if there just isn't enough hours in the day.What I do do is when I get home I make dinner and we all eat together at the table and we talk about our day we each take turns on what we did. Then I have 2 days off a week. One day i put aside for the kids where we go out and do something nice like have a pinic or go to the beach or pool There are plenty of things to do that are free. Cause even though I work alot I dont have money bills never end. On my second day off its the relaxing day where we stay in and cuddle with my husband. The kids are real good at understanding what days we do stuff on. Plus they have a busy week as well, well when there is school. They both do afterschool programs and they love them they are right at their school and they get to continue to play with their friends. I am always on a schedule. good luck u will find it gets easier. I also just remembered that the gym has a daycare that is only like 5 dollars fr the hour that u r there. Where they can get their workout too lol.

I don't know...I'll let you know when I figure it out myself! Good luck though!

I don't work full time I work part time. However with 3 kids it feels like I work 24 hours a day. I can't help you much with the husband part, however with the fitness part I can try. I like to get out and do things with my kids. They are 4,6 and 8. They love to ride their bike around the bulevard, I'm not sure where you live, but anywhere would do. You could take the baby out for walks. Or something else that I do is get up early in the morning and go to the gym while my boyfriend and kids are still sleeping. Even if it's just for an hour, that's good enough. They'll never miss you. You could also take walks on your breaks. I hope this was helpful.

Hi S.!

Well, I go back to work in a couple of weeks, so I'll let you know how I manage it. Luckily, my company has a gym in the building, so I'll be able to workout at lunch. As far as making time for Daddy and baby, I guess the weekends will have to do. I consider time to and from work time for myself when I'll listen to music, books on tape and chat with friends. It's only about a half hour each way, but it's better than nothing. And it'll seem luxurious compared to the time I've had to myself these last three months.

Now, dropping my baby off every morning is another story. How does anyone deal with that little trauma?

Hope this helps a little.

J.

S.,
There are gyms that offer day care right inside the gym. I go to a gym like that. So, while I'm working out my son is having fun playing and the daycare isn't more then 50 feet from the workout room! Ah, but I see that you are married! Why can't your husband spare an hour in the evenings or does he work at night? Walking is always a great exercise and I'm sure your lil one would love a stroller ride! I know mine does! Good luck! :)

Hi S.,

I am a mom that works full time as well. I recently joined a Curves for women near my place of work. It is a quick 30 minute work out 3 times a week, and I actually love it! I go on my lunch break. Congratulations on you new baby boy! I think that SAHM stands for stay at home mom....

K.

Hello S.,
I Hear were you are coming from..It is the most hardest thing to do,But in time you will learn how to do all this not over night though... When my older children were young I would get their things ready the night before,pack their thing for daycare, I would get my things for work done the night before as well..I would get up a half hour early so I had a few to my self to get ready to face the day then I would work on the 3 children get them up dressed the good thing about our daycare was they would feed them breakfast and lunch witch was a huge help to me..Then head to work..get out of work get the children,go home while getting dinner ready I would play with the children ( it didn't always go like clock work ) each one would want to do something different when that happened..( I would then use my wild card today we play with the oldest wants to and each day go down the line, up the line,and then start from the middle..) When dinner was done and dad was home I would take and give baths to the younger ones 1 at a time that would give them some lone time with each of us..After we would sit and read a book again they each got to pick the book this helps them feel special..After the book it was bed time while dad would try and keep them in bed witch by the way was very funny..I would start the washer and do dishes..by the time things were said and done it was around 8:30ish not always though sometime later but most times between 7 and 8 That gave us sometime together..Sometimes we would set the clock even earlier just to have some us time..On days off Thats when we would do family time ad spend time alone with each child never said it would go smooth lol, we would also have more time to spend together after we got the children settled ( NOW REMEMBER I NEVER SAID IT WAS EASY TO DO) But you do find away to as you go to find way to make some more time for yourself and hubby!!! I hope I didn't make you run yet lol
S. :)

Hello S.,

Doesn't it feel like there aren't enough hours in the day! I am a work from home mom- I run a full time business while being at home with the kids (a 5 and 3 year old). It is great and bad at the same time-- I get to do all the little things and watch them grow, but at the same time, I am trying to work,talk to clients, etc... while trying to do all the little things!

Balancing everything is ridiculous sometimes.

With my husband, we set a date night once a month- (the day our anniversary falls on) and regardless of what is going on that night, we plan an early bedtime for the kids and have dinner together, play cards, whatever we are in the mood for...just to have couple time.

The kids I try to keep in as much of a routine as possible.I know with a 10 month old that is a little tougher... but if they know what to expect, then they transition better and there tends to be less resistance.

Work out? I haven't figured that one out yet! I am not sure what your schedule is, but on the weekends, taking your son in the jogging stroller, or putting him on your legs while you do crunches is always worked for me. I recently just bought an excercise ball to do crunches with... it is quiet unlike some other equipment, so I can do it while the kids are sleeping and it doesn't wake them up... plus it is a really good workout and cheap!

Now the good part: Time for you... I made it a priority to get a sitter every other month to go get my hair done... what a good feeling to look forward to that! Also, some girls in my neighborhood and I started a monthly dinner club... some months we do it just the ladies and get dressed up to go out...other months, we eat at someone's house. Sometimes we include spouses and kids, others we don't.
I also started going to a knitting class... who knew I would actually like it...now it is my relaxation time- again with a 10 month old a little more difficult, but you get the idea..

I realized recently that I was giving so much to everyone else, that it didn't benefit anyone because I was miserable. Take the time to take care of yourself..it will all fallinto place.

GOOD LUCK!

Oh yeah- I think SAHM also means stay at home mom...but what if you are a work from home mom??What is the abbreviation for that?? Anyone know? WFHM??

Hi S.
I'm a full time working mom. I work 50 hours a week in retail so I have to work weekends and some nights. I myself haven't set foot in a gym since the birth of my daughter 4 1\2 years ago, I haven't found the time. We try and go to the park a couple times a week and she never complains about going on walks with Mommy. In fact I've found it a good way to spend time together and instill a healthy habit. Unfortunately little legs don't walk very fast and like to stop frequently to pick up rocks, look at ants, ect but they are only little for a such short time. So my cardio workouts can wait until later. As far as house cleaning goes I do most of it when she is sleeping or I have her "help" me, we vacuum and fold laundry together. Fortunately my husband takes care of the yard work.
Good Luck
C.

Hey S.!

I work full time too. Although my "full time" status include 3 12 hour shifts. Even with that I find it hard to balance everything. I tend to work every Saturday. To cut the cost of child care. So I don't seem to spend alot of time with my husband. House work is always hard to do. I try to do one or two things a day. Like sweep the living room and dining room. I usually always do one load of laundry. That seems to be never ending. My husband is very helpful as well. Do you delegate some things to your husband? Try tading might of who makes dinner. Or have him wash and fold some laundy. It seems to work for us. As fas as spending time with my daughter, being off those four days is very helpful. Because I don't see her at all on the days that I do work. It is a major balancing act. My daughter is almost 18 months old and we are still figuring it out. Good Luck!

Hi Steph,
I've been both a stay at home mom and I've worked a 50hr week job for the last two years (until we just moved back to MA recently). When I had the crazy hours at work I tried to stay really disciplined about pre scheduling times (to work out, etc.) and I hired teenage mommy's helpers (cheaper than babysitters) so I'd have someone entertaining my daughter while I did stuff I needed to do at home. It's an uphill battle but it seems scheduling and getting "help" is the only way to get it all in. But yes it does all feel so rushed.

In general it seems there's no perfect answer to this balancing act. Everyone needs to figure out what works best for them. I myself think a 3/4 part-time job is my own dream "compromise" but have friends with perfect FT jobs and friends who stay at home.

Best of luck figuring out your best situation.

first thing I would like to tell you is not to feel guilty about being out and working. Some of us have to and some want to continue with a career. I am a Family child care provider and I would suggest that be your first step. If you cannot be at home with your child make sure that you look thoroughly into a provider that will work together with you as a partner. Early childhood development is more important then ever thought before. After obtaining a childcare provider, have her/him provide you with information about what is going in your childs day/week and suggestions of what you can do in the evenings and weekends with your child to reinforce what is going on during your little boys day. And never forget the dust and dirty dishes will be there after baby goes to sleep. A nice nap with your child on the weekends is another nice way spend one on one time and to catch up on some sleep you may have lost during the week. W. V. (Just Like Home Family Childcare)
p.s. if you try and take advantage of getting things done during naptimes have someone wake you up after about 40 minutes and get what you can get done after that. Oh and by the way I was 37 when I had my daughter. Didn't you hear the 30's now adays are the 20 year olds of yesteryear.

Hi S.!

Let's start with the easy one. SAHM mean Stay At Home Mom.

I also work full time, and can barely manage to go the bathroom by myself!!! My daughter is 1 1/2 yr old, and she is very active. I have not been able to figure out time to work out either. Once it cools off, I plan to try a workout video (I hear there are some to do with your kids-hoping to find one). If I can't find that, I will try a regular one, and hope that Keira will want to "dance" with me when we get home.

Let me know if you find a way. I would love some suggestions too!!

M.

It's really hard. It took me a couple of years before I could carve out any time to go exercise but I'm really glad I did. Try to do things that minimize your time away from him. Like if you leave him home, drive to the gym, take a one hour class, drive home, shower, that's about a 2 hour shot which is really hard. But if you go for a forty minute jog near your house (at least in the summer) that's a lot less time spent (and it's free). Or find a place such as the Y which has childcare, so at least you just drop him off, do your thing, and pick him right back up again. The Y is very inexpensive - it's about 60 dollars for a family membership per month and you can take advantage of a lot of their other programs too, especially with a little one. The childcare is free while you are working out and they have a lot of programs designed for new or just getting back into it fitness. You can also choose to do something like 1/2 hour in the gym and then swim with your son for 1/2 hour. It's really hard, I know, and waking up extra early to do was never a realistic option for me, but I am finally making the time (with the help from my husband) and I'm so glad I am. And I do work and I juggle insanely, but it's worth it too to maximize the time I spend with my kids and what we are able to afford to do together.

Hey S.,
I am constantly consumed with this thought as well. I am a working mom (in the city!) and have ZERO time for anything else since I leave so early and return home so late. The solution that I have been thinking about is just changing jobs(as much as I hate to) and creating the environment that I need, closer to home. I am realizing that nothing will change is I don't change it myself. I am carrying guilt and sad feelings b/c I don't see my daughter and husband as much as I'd like. Since my commute and day is long, I am looking forward to at least gaining an hr or each side as I find a job closer to home. The best of luck to you and figuring out what you need to do.

P.S. I am married and have a daughter that is 8 months old now.

Hi S.,
I too work full time as a teacher, so I do have summers off. It is quite difficult to work full time, keep a house, and make sure your spending enough time with your children. In order for me to work out, I either jog at the park nearby or do an exercise video before everyone wakes up. I do not belong to a gym because I feel bad being away from the kids all day and I don't want them with a babysitter at the gym too. I do try to clean the house in the evening and keep everything picked up so weekends are family time. It is tough, but we seem to manage.

Hello! I am a working mom, I have a 40 hours+ work-week. My commute is an about an hour each way, and my son is 5.

It is a TOUGH balance of home life and work life! On the average day, I get up at 5, I drop him off at school (day care) at 7am, get to work just before 8, leave at 345(ish) and then when I pick him up, we do one fun thing together. Maybe go to the community pool, play at a playground, spend some quality time together doing something. Because....... when we get home, it is time for me to do my household chores, plan dinner, and etc.

It's a juggling act most of the time. But I wouldn't trade it for anything..... :-)

it's quite hard actually but it can be done... i'm also working full time and have two wonderful children...

The playground has become my workout place... its cheap and efficiant and i dont need to find a sitter to go to... if you are into weights and such try a gym that has a childcare center i know most YMCA's usually do and the cost is included in your membership.

Hi
I am also a working new mommy! I am having a hard time working the ME time in. I just wanted to say you are not alone in the time struggle! I am sure we will figure it out!

SAHM is stay at home mom

I am a full-time mom, full-time worker, full-time girlfriend. Time management is very difficult and often you're the one left out - meaning you sacrifice your own needs to fulfill the needs of others. Make the moments you have with your loved ones really count. For inspiration, watch "Neverland" (the film with Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp). The moments they share are so precious and memorable. I try to duplicate that feeling when I'm with those I love. I make a genuine effort to do things that both my daughter and boyfriend will remember forever - like I put a swimming pool in the living room.

In regards to fitness, join a sport or do an activity that both baby and daddy can enjoy too. I joined Roller Derby because I love skating and because there are lots of moms with kids and babies at practice. My boyfriend joined as a ref, so we now have a happy roller derby family and I get to work out and have my own thing.

Good luck!

Hi S.!
I guess I qualify as a SAHM *lol I always thought that it meant "Stay at home mom" so let me know if it doesn't!
My 4 year old is in an ABA program so that helps keep me on a tight schedule. Esp. since I have a 1 year old. I just manage my home like I once managed my office :)
But, a schedule works well for me so that I don't schedule too much at the same time (and keeps me from missing appts) and I use binders to stay organized-organization is key for me. I keep everything at set times, but am flexible enough for the unexpected(which happens often with 2 kids)...My husband and I do ok with quality time, but because of his long commute to Boston everyday from Providence, it does put a strain on the relationship at times. We just make sure to have a "date night" on the weekends and stay connected via email and cell phones*lol

Hope that helps!
:)
N.

Hi S.,
Check out FlyLady.net. (It's free!) It's a great system that helps you get routines going so you have time for everything, including you! I am a working mom with a 2 year old and my routines have helped me get my house and my finances in order and I have started adding time for a work-out every day. It took a while to babystep to where I am now and I add something each month. I don't know where I would be without FlyLady.

K.

Hi S.,

I know where you're coming from. I have a 9 1/2 month old, a 30 something husband and work full time. I've recently started packing workout clothes in the car, so when I pick up my son from daycare, I can go immediately to the park and walk or jog. (I know if I go home I'll think of a thousand reasons not to go back out) My son loves being in his stroller at the park, he usually will just look around and I'll give him water and a snack...it keeps him happy while I workout. You have to take time for yourself, even if it is just a walk around the park everyday, because your health is what's most important. I think SAHM means stay at home mom and BTW means between work. Good luck!

hey there! congrats on your newest addition!! and he's walking!! yaaa! bt i work full time and im a 24 year old single mom of a 5 year old who is about to start kindergartin! yaaa! bt i can tell you the easiest way for me to work out and not miss out on what my daughter is doing is bringing her with me! i've always brought her with me! strapped her in the stroller and started jogging. strapped her in the back of the bike.. and started biking. you might be able to find a gym that has daycare options or even mommy and baby classes. something as simple as a 20 min walk uphill and down hill with your child would be a good start! espeically since its summer out. now that lexi is older obviously, she can ride her bike and i walk beside her. bt the best of luck to you!