Thoughts on Another Baby

Since I have eight children, family size often becomes a topic of conversation with folks. Young mothers tell me I'm crazy. Middle age mothers say, "I don't know how you do it, but it must be fun at your house." Elderly mothers say, "I wish I'd had more children." These responses are almost 100%. It's been a very amazingly consistent response.

So, perhaps, consider the perspective of those who have walked a little longer on this journey.

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Almost a year ago, the 13th of January this year, my husband did the same to me. We had one 7 yr old daughter, I had just turned 38 and he was 45. I was shocked as he had said for years that he did not want any more children (we lost our first baby eight years ago and had two miscarriages after our 7 yr old, which I think scared him from the idea).

I guess where I might be different than you is that I actually wanted another baby, even though my daughter was 7. So, as I write, I am holding my 8 week old baby girl and very happy that we had another child. The age difference is great; my daughter was able to dress herself for school when I was so sick (she even played nurse for me) and helps out tons with the baby. I am seriously thinking that I would like to have another one (soon) so that I don't end up with two "only" children.

Only you can figure out what will be right for you, but for me, having another one was the right thing to do. Good luck!

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No loving family has ever regretted their children. I have heard some regret that they decided to not have children. I am 38 and have four children...8, 6, 3, and 2. They are a blessing and the only really eternal thing that I do. And they are just plain fun!!! I know that we will probably have another sometime soon but that is in the Lord's hands. I do know this...children are called a blessing in the Bible and not a curse. They are the most valuable way for you and your husband to spend your time. I also know that it is a true testimony to your mothering that your husband wants more. You must be doing a great job!

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Well Kristi, take a look at me...I have 3 daughters aged 17,16,13 and I am pregnant with my first little boy (I'm 34)
it was a big decision to have another baby but I am so glad that I did because my girls are so excited and eager to help, that's all they talk about. I was weary of starting over (diapers, bottles, feedings) but I know that when I hold that little guy for the first time I won't care about all that. Now that my girls are so independent and "doing their own thing" it will be so nice to have a little one who fully depends on me again. I would recommend you wait a couple of years (you are still young) and then see how the two of you feel. You might change your mind like I did : )

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My husband also wanted #3 when our kids were older. He had served overseas with the marines and felt like he missed so much. Anyway, my baby is now 10 months old and I have a 7 year old and an almost 9 year old. I'll say it's different this go round. My first 2 were so close together that's all I did. Since they were older now and in school full time, I had a different lifestyle (more running around), but it has all worked out. It took longer for this baby to get on a schedule b/c of things with the big kids, but the big kids just love him to death, and having 1 little one isn't that bad! Pray about it, and I hope you come to a decision both of you can live with.

First off, congrats on your marriage, I grew up an Army brat so I know military marriages take a lot of love and commitment. I am going to have baby number three any day now, after 5 years of saying we would not have any more, and I am thrilled. We have a 14 yr old and a 4 yr old, so it is a bit like starting over. My husband always wanted another and I didn't, this one was a little surprise! I can honestly say that we are both very happy about it and can't wait. Even the kids are both excited! Whatever you decide, know that if you approach it with love and respect each other's feelings about your decision, you can't go wrong. Lots of luck in the upcoming year to you!

No. Simple. You are at the stage of your life where your daughters are functioning on their own with adult supervision. Tell hubby to get a puppy...

Hello Kristi D,

I think having more kids is great! Don't let your age bother you. I had my last kids (twins) at 37 they are two now. I also have a 22 year old daughter and 6 year old son. The older kids are a big help with the younger ones. Children are little miracles! Best Wishes and many blessings to you and your family.

DK

Hi Kristi,

My husband and I just decided what to do about expanding our family. We have a 4 yo girl, a 2 yo son, and definitely want more. I loved being pregnant and had very easy deliveries, which were some of the best moments of my life. I wanted to get pregnant again, but really did not want that first 6 months of a babies' life. I had a really hard time with both children getting through that. I mean hard! My husband had to take time off work. My mom had to come stay with us for 5 weeks. I was struggling emotionally and physically.

So, instead of conceiving again, we have decided to foster-to-adopt. We are working with the Lena Pope Home in Fort Worth. We will go through training next year and can't wait to expand our family. Since I made this decision, I have met so many people who have done it and couldn't be happier. I even know a single man who has 3 children from the foster care system and fostered 17 others. He doesn't regret any of it, even if he is in his late 50's fathering a teenager.

Just another way to consider your options. Whatever you decide, I wish you much happiness in your growing family.

M.
www.yogapotential.com

I agree with the other ladies. Children are a gift and should always be welcome. Mine are 23, 21, 19 and 6! The last one was planned and she is a blessing, especially after 3 boys. She is an angel and I'm so glad we have her since the boys are all grown and gone now. I don't like an empty house!!! So, I say go for it!

The question is if you want another child...the ages of your other two doesn't factor in. Would YOU want another infant? I have a 12 1/2 and a 6 1/2 year old and i'm pregnant with my third. The six yo will be seven right before the baby is born and the 12 year old will be 13 right after the baby is born. They are both excited and ready to be BIG HELPERS! when my son was born my daughter was three months shy of six. she was a good helper. This time she is even old enough to hold and help in BIG ways. I'm sure excited about that!! LOL Your nine year old may not be old enough for all that extreme help like an honest to goodness babysitter but she will be able to help even more than mine did at six. plus they are in school all day or close to it (for the six year old) i'm sure.

anyway, don't htink that the age difference from the middle child to the new one would be an issue. It's not as much as you'd think. THe issue would be do YOU and your husband want another one? can you financial support another child? do you have room in your house for another one? questions like that are important. Good luck and I hope you go with what is in your heart.

Obviously having another child is a very personal choice. All I can recommend is that you and your husband be on the same page for a decision of this magnitude, otherwise it can be a cause for stress in your relationship.

My husband and I went through a similar issue when our daughters were 10 and 6, only I was the one wanting another. Initially it was a no-go because my husband didn't want to start over again at 40 years old. Oddly enough, without any pushing or "nagging" on my part, he changed his mind. I was 37 when daughter #3 was born. She will be 2 next month (just 4 days after her oldest sister turns 14!). But she is an absolute blessing. I have those very brief moments when I ask myself what I was thinking (usually when I'm juggling very busy schedules because I work full time and my older daughters are involved in various activities) but all I need do is look at my littlest one to know I wouldn't want it any other way! And she loves her daddy so much and it is so very obvious her daddy loves her back!

You definitely have age on your side, but again, I just recommend that both you and your husband are equally committed to the decision. Good luck!

Very personal decision. However, I have two (just had our second 5 months ago). I will remind you about how much energy and money it takes to have a baby then you can make the decision. For the first 6 weeks you get no sleep and do multiple diapers throughout the day. Depending on baby you may not get a full night sleep for at least a year. My first started sleeping through the night at 3 months and my second still wakes up at 11pm and 3am! If you breastfeed - you don't have the cost of food for at least 6 months. If you do formula it costs $20-$30 per can depending on brand. They drink 6-8 ounces 5-8x a day depending on baby. Not to mention hospital bills, daycare expenses/babysitter, clothing expenses, etc. My husband is 41 and I am 34. You don't have as much energy in your 30's. Now the good news! I love, love my baby. She melts my heart when she smiles. I want her to stay a baby forever now b/c I know it is my last :( Is it all worth it - ABSOLUTELY! If you can afford another baby and have the energy for it - then I would go for it! If not, I am sure that you can find a family that would love for you to babysit!!! Good luck.

I say if you both want another, why not? So what that your son is 6? I'm not sure I understand the quandry. You're so young, you could have several more. Go for it!! I grew up in a family of 5 and if I could conceive, who knows how many we'd have? I say the more, the merrier! We'll take as many as God will bless us with and since we adopt, we just wait on Him. Looks like he may bless us with our next this summer- yey!! God is so good!! Of course, the baby's not in our home yet and anything could happen. We are prayerfully hoping.

I am 31; mine are 8 and 7. I'd love to have another baby! If health weren't an issue, i'd definitely have another one. I so want more children, and it may still be in my future. I don't see the age difference as a reason not to. My siblings are 17 and 19 years older than me... that is a bit much, granted, but 6 and 10 aren't that big of a deal. You will have lots of help with the baby now and in the future!

I don't think you guys' ages is an issue. You are both still young. I think your older kids could really benefit from having a baby come into your lives now. I have siblings that are 10, 14 and 16 years younger than me. I learned a lot about mothering by being old enough to remember what my mom did to care for them plus I got lots of practice.

All that being said, I think you should ask yourselves whether you just want another baby or actually want to raise anohter child. KWIM?

Good luck with your decision!

My kids are 10, 8, 21 months, and 4 months. The 2 older ones love being involved with their sisters. I must say that the 21 month old wasn't planned, but we are so glad that we did. We decided to have 1 more after we had her. I was worried about the fact that the older ones were in school, but it actually gave me a break with just the baby. It gave me some one on one time with her after she was born. I also enjoy it now with just the toddler and baby while the kids are at school.

Hi, Kristi! I'm a Navy Brat with two younger sisters--there's six years between me and the baby and we have a great relationship!

My three sons are all six and a half years apart! (we also have a daughter in there!) My olders help out and enjoy my youngers. I'm in my 30's as well.

You can do it! Go do it! God bless!

~A.

Age is not a factor it is simply a personal decision as to whether or not you want another baby. If it is then I say GO FOR IT!! I am 37 and thought I was done having children. I have two daughters 20 and 14 (who has Cerbral Palsey) and was surprised to find myself pregnant again. She was born in September and is the joy of my life. My 14 year old is a huge help even with her issues but I would not trade a single one of them. It is a huge life change and a bit like starting over but I am so happy she is here. I thought I was "too old" to do this again but I was wrong. I don't if this helps much but I send best wishes in your decision.

my only two thoughts are that you are definitely young enough by most people's standards and that 6 years isn't a huge age gap. my two boys are 6 yrs apart and it's a great age gap! he's old enough to help out, but not old enough to resent the baby.

Hello, You know if I could still have babies I probably would have another one and one on the way. We have 3 children (birth) and they are 5-6 years apart. 22 yrs, 16 yrs, and 11 yrs. Me and my husband jokes and says I would have one that is 5 Yrs and about to have another.lol. We both love babies and our are so unique and special. I guess because they are our. If you are able to have more and he wants you too and you don't mind, go ahead. Just start planning for things now like pampers etc.Our children have unique personalities and we often wonder what the next one would be like(their personality). May God bless you in whatever decision you two make.

You are still young!! I say Go For It!!! I am 39 with a 9yr boy and 5 yr girl and found out i am pregnant again!!