The Dr Said My 9 Month Old Is lazy..as I Watch Others Crawl All Around Him

Updated on March 02, 2007
D.W. asks from Kemp, TX
33 answers

Ok well here it is I have a 6 yr old and a 9 month old sons and my 6 yr old had hydrosyphilis so he was delayed because of his condition, but my 9 month old has nothing physically wrong but is just refusing to get around..he wont crawl, pull up or get himself into a sitting position ( he can remain sitting once he is sat up) So now I am kinda feeling like a failure since it has been 6 yrs since I have done this plus 6 yrs there were other reasons..So anyways the peditricianj says that he is just "lazy" and he wants to contact ECI to come out and work with him and that is fun but I would much rather be able to work with him but I have no idea where to start..thanks for all your help..

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My little girl will be 9 months on the 25th and she isn't crawling...She "army" crawls. SO she gets where she wants but not actually crawling...Its weird because my 2 year old was walking at 9 1/2 months. She was pulling up at 7 1/2 months. However Kaylei is a much bigger baby then Kharys was....THere is about 3 pounds difference between the two. Kaylei wieghs like 21 1/2 pounds... I just think she is just lazy too...However she will get into the sitting position by herself but she started doing it not that long ago. Do you have a big baby like Kaylei?

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

First of all kids develop at different rates. As a mom of a 8 year old boy and a 10 month old daughter, my daughter has done everything a lot sooner than my son did. My son was a fat baby and I was told that made it harder to reach his milestones and he is perfectly fine now so I wouldn't worry too much and just give him some time.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Deb, you know how I feel about this. Dylan will do it when's he's good and ready. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that kid! Look at Ash, she wasn't crawling or pulling herself at 9 months and she's perfectly fine. Heck she just started talking and she's 21 months, before that all we heard was mama and dada. In fact NONE of my kids were crawling at 9 months, guess they are all lazy..they must get it from their daddy LOL.
Love ya girl!

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

We used ECI for my son mainly for language development. They were very nice, but I was not overly impressed with them. It seemed like our therapist was not extremely prepared when she would come out to our house and I felt like I directed the time more than she did. I would definelty also check out the recommendation for the Kids Care. I did not know there was another option or I would have checked it out. I bet your son will take off soon. My son did not crawl till 13 months and walked at 17 months. I was very panicked, but he is 4 now & you would have never know he had been late. Now I know you are a ways off from this, but my son is 4 and we are in the school system called PPCD for speach, but they also work with all disabilites. It is an amazing program and he goes everyday for 2 1/2 hours. Just FYI - if you see any other delays once he turns 3 you can contact the school system - now this program is amazing & completely free. ECI use to be free, but now you pay a fee based on a sliding scale of income. They also do file with insurance. Good Luck & you are doing the right thing checking everything out. I know it is overwhelming & I cried a lot at the beginning, but he will catch up and getting some extra help is a great idea. The main thing is they will teach you how to help him.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's silly for your doc to say that. Does he "play" with other kids often? Does he really have any incentive to crawl? Sometimes all it takes is letting him see other little ones moving and shaking and he'll catch on. I would suggest that and playing crawling games with him, get a tunnel ( they sell them at target) or make one out of a big box. Let him see you go through, chase after a toy together. Let him see you crawl. While I do think crawling is important, not every baby does it, some of them just go straight to walking. Hope this helps a little.

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C.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, D.. I have an 8 year old daughter with hydrocephalus and a VP shunt. She was most definitely delayed and still is somewhat.

My other daughter, who is now 4, wasn't crawling by 12 months so, considering what her sister went through, I contacted ECI because I wanted them to totally evaluate her development to make sure everything else was on track. They said that she did qualify for services so we absolutely took advantage of that. They only had to work with her for a few weeks before she began crawling.

On another note, you are your child's advocate when it comes to any health related issues and the doctors are not perfect. I asked our pediatrician for a referral to a craniofacial specialist for my youngest daughter when she was an infant because her face and head were very asymetrical and one eye was squintier that the other. I was concerned and the pediatrician really hesitated to give me the referral. She suggested it was genetic and that was just the way she looked. Well, I insisted and she finally gave in. As it turned out, my daughter had a birth defect called craniosynastosis that was corrected by surgery when she was 2.

So, all this to say, you are his mother. You probably advocate every day for your older son with hydrocephalus. I think some people are sometimes overly confident in their doctor's opinion. However, as a parent, you just know when something is not quite right.

Good luck to you!

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A.W.

answers from Dallas on

Please don't feel like you have failed! My daughter didn't crawl until she was 11 1/2 months. My pedi even tried to send us to physical therapy. I did take her for one session, and then decided that it was silly after gleaning from the advice of some older more experienced mothers around me. She crawled and soon thereafter walked, and she's not one minute behind anyone her age developmentally. She's a very smart verbal and coordinated 2 1/2 year old now. As long as your pediatrician isn't seeing any medical reason for your son not crawling, just sit back and enjoy the fact that he'll sit in your lap for now! :) It won't last!!!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would get a second opinion regarding his physical health. Sometimes it can be difficult to diagnose. I don't think babies are naturally lazy...so I would continue to question the problem.

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B.

answers from Dallas on

If your older son had hydrocephalus, that would explain his delay. But I don't think you should say that the 9 month old is "lazy." He may have low muscle tone or some other treatable condition. ECI is a great program. A therapist will come out to your home for free and do a full developmental assessment. If you child is significantly delayed, he will qualify for services. There is a charge but the ECI people also work with the insurance companies. I would take advantage of ECI. Better you identify a problem early than let it get worse and become more difficult to treat.

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would get a second opinion. That would not make me happy, the Dr saying he was lazy!!!:(

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

ECI is great and will give you great tools to get him motivated. Usually when they come out they will give you handouts and talk to you about different things you can try. You are definetly the one that gets to work with him, they just give you the tools. My girls were born really early (12 weeks) and ECI came out regularly for the first 6+ months to make sure they did not have any developmental delays.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

It's ridiculous to call a baby lazy! My son too did not crawl well until after his first birthday and did not walk until 15 months. Now he is a smart, funny and very quick 3 year old. His pediatrician was not concerned since some babies skip the crawling all together. Now that most babies sleep on their backs, they don't develop the muscles necessary to crawl as early as babies who sleep on their tummies. Your baby is probably just happy doing what he is doing now. He's content. I would let your gut instinct be your guide. If you are concerned, call ECI. Otherwise, I would just encourage tummy time and let your baby flourish at his own pace. Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I do NOT recommend ECI! Although they were polite and seemingly professional people, they still wasted six VALUABLE months of our time by doing therapy that was not the kind my child needed. My referral to them did not come from my pediatrician; early on I had heard all good things about ECI too. After a few months, I was getting frustrated but I kept trusting ECI - then suddenly, my pediatrician referred us to Kids Care for therapy. I told the pediatrician we already had ECI; the pediatrician strongly suggested we switch and thank God we did! Upon telling the ECI therapist that we were switching to Kids Care, the therapist admitted off the record that was probably a good idea because ECI can't really offer true physical/occupational therapy. Later, the therapist's manager admitted the same to me on the phone. Yet in the meantime, they were sure willing to keep coming out and keep getting paid for as long as they could keep stringing us along. Kids Care also will come to your home and give a free evaluation. Having worked now with both ECI (for 6 months) and Kids Care (for 5 months) I can tell you Kids Care is FAR, far better. If you want to call me and discuss further, just send a personal reply.

A.

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

D. your Dr. is crazy. My son never crawled. He took his first step a week before his first birthday. My ped. told me not to worry and that crawling is not developmentaly required. I cant believe your Dr. would say that to you. Dont worry, I spent alot of time worring about it too...its fine, he doesnt have to crawl.

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K.

answers from Dallas on

D. -
Crawling is an important developmental step. My son is 7 and in physical therapy and one reason is his hips did not develop correctly as he did not crawl.I don't agree that your doctor should have told you that your son is lazy. I do agree you should contact ECI. You want to make sure your son stays on track for his developmental milestones. ECI will come to your home and help you work with your child.
My thoughts will be with you as you work through this time with your son.

K. Porcheddu
Director of Little Ones at Living Word Preschool

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Why wait??? Early intervention is the key!!! CALL ECI

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

I know sometimes it is hard when kids are so content that they just don't seem to be in a hurry to do the things the other kids do. I have seen some crawling at 4 months and others just hang out until 1 year old.

ECI is great because what they do is teach you how to teach your child, with massage and game therapy strategies. You can also try a physical therapist, but I believe ECI with a Dr's referral may be covered under your insurance and they use fee scales as well.

Good luck and just remember 6 years from now this may not even be a memory that lingers, just another bump in the road.

K. @ the nestingplace

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

my 18 yr old had a condition where she just got lazy because we new that she could sit up or walk if she wanted to. but for me the best thing was to get on the floor and play games where she had to move and didnt realize that it was a game. you can place a bunch of bells around her and make noises. it will take some time but i did it without a doctors help. and this is something that all three of your kids can help do. i hope this helps. god bless and good luck

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

At 9 months old, my daughter also could not crawl, roll over, get into a sitting position by herself, etc....
We have worked with ECI and at 11 months, she crawled, at 1 year, she rolled over and at almost 16 months, she is not walking yet, but is crusing a lot more, etc...
They are a great help with her.
Her PT said that her personality is that she does not want to do anything unless she is sure she will be able to do it. She showed my husband and I excersizes to do with her and they worked!!!
Good Luck!!!

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C.L.

answers from Dallas on

I totally recommend ECI. You can't lose! It's free so what do you have to lose? We used ECI with my daughter and we learned things we would have never known on our own. I say do it for sure!

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry that your Dr. said that to you!

I had to tell you that I was that lazy kid. My brother was 2 years older than me and was WALKING at 9 months. I was barely crawling then and didn't walk until I was almost 17 months old. My mom said that I was lazy but because I was just entertained by all the things going on around me.

I wouldn't worry about it. He may be one of those kiddos that just do things back to back to back once he figures out that he can do more!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 8 months old and doesnt crawl or pull up on items. She can sit but sometimes can fall over. She is trying to push up on to all fours and I know she wants to crawl but just cant figure out how to do it. The only thing she can do is if you put her on all fours she can push herself into a sitting position. She can roll over from tummy to back but cant roll from back to tummy.

My doctor said the same thing pretty much that she is just being lazy. I am not worried about it...each baby learns to do things in their own time. When he is ready to crawl he will...you cant force them to do it.

As far as it being important milestone...NO IT ISNT! Your baby could never crawl and go straight to walking. Weather your baby crawls has nothing to do with his development or his mental abilities. My husband never crawled he went straight to walking...and he is a genius!

Dont worry...try to help him as much as you can. That is what we do and with her watching other babies in daycare she has the interest and with our help I think she will eventually learn.

L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Lazy is not a professional term, but some dr.'s probably see this all the time and perhaps he was joking around wiht you.. mine is like that too, but I am a jokester as well.

I would call ECI as well, it's free, they come to you and do an evaluation and consultation and are progressive and very helpful. A friend of mine had this same problem at this age and her son needed assistance, and a couple of months later, her child has improved greatly.

Whether your child is delayed (normal) or has some issues that need to be addressed, having ECI come take a look will assuage any worry on you, and it will only be in the best interest of your son.

I too had to get a second opinion for a problem my son was having, but I still stayed with the same dr. after that b/c I felt comfortable with him and felt he really did have the best interest of my son in mind when he made is recomendations.

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

HELLO D.,
FOR YOUR DOCTOR TO SAY THAT IS SERIOUSLY SILLY...ALL CHILDREN CRAWL, WALK ,TALK AT THERE OWN PACE. FOR INSTANCE MY NEPHEW DIDNT CRAWL UNTIL HE WAS ONE AND STARTED WALKING AT 17 MONTHS.THE ECI CANT DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR SON IF HE DOESNT WANT TO CRAWL, WE HAVE TO REMEMBER NOT TO RUSH THINGS HE WILL GET GOING WHEN HE IS READY.... BY THE WAY YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB JUST BE PATIENT HE'LL GET IT..

D.G.

answers from Nashville on

OH! PLEASE! My 7 year old started crawling at 6 mo., pulling up at 7, but didn't walk until 13 mo. Yet, even now she can hardly walk a straight line w/ out tripping. My 4 year old didn't even start crawling until about 10 mo., didn't pull up until about 13 mo., maybe 14, then walked at 17 mo. Today, she's very athletic, coordinated & agile. Your dr. is a goof-ball- UNLESS, there seems to be some other reason that he thinks your baby isn't developing this skill at this time. Babies do all develop with in ranges.

Don't even feel like a failure here. I'd seek a second opinion from another pedi... & maybe even find another one, too. ;)
D.

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

While I don't think your pediatrician made a wise choice of words, I do think a phone call to ECI might help relieve some of your guilt. I just responded to another post about infant development to say that the ECI developmental charts include a broader range of "normal" that what most pediatrician's use. My first child was sitting fine at 9 months but didn't pull up on furniture until she was about a year old. We were also referred to ECI and had them come out for an evaluation. It turned out that my daughter didn't really qualify for assistance at 9 months. She was "borderline" so it wasn't medically necessary for us to sign up for a program with them, but they would set it up if we wanted to. We decided not to, and by her one-year well visit she was back within the pediatrician's "normal" chart. We were referred to ECI again at 15 months because she wasn't walking yet. Again, she didn't qualify. They said "If she's not walking by 18 months, call us back." She took off running at 17 1/2 months.
The evaluation is free and the physical therapist and/or occupational therapists are very thorough. They specialize in child development and they are able to get a real picture of your child's abilities that simply can't be done in a 10-minute check-up in an exam room. The ECI therapists come to your house and spend a good amount of time evaluating your baby in his own environment.
I was really reassured by their evaluation. The pediatrician was only concerned about standing and walking, and didn't take the time to notice any of my child's other abilities or more subtle physical skills and movements that indicated she was developing normally, just on a different time line than most kids.
And, if your son qualifies for therapy, they will tell you where to start with him. They set up sessions just a couple times a month and meet you in your home or at the child's daycare. They show you what to do and you continue therapy on your own. The cost is on a sliding scale, so it may not be much, depending on your income.
I'd say to call ECI.

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D.,
I am sorry that your doctor told you that your son was lazy… even if it is true, that isn’t very nice :-) (kidding)

My oldest son (who is 28 months now) did NOT sit up until he was nine months old (would still tip over), didn’t crawl until he was 1 year and didn’t walk until he was 18 months old and people told us that he might have developmental issues! Now they tell us that he is gifted and mentally ahead of the 3 year old children in his daycare class. He speaks, stacks blocks, solves puzzles at an amazing level and was fully potty trained by 26 months.

Every child is different and will develop at the rate that THEY desire. That is what makes all of Gods little miracles special!

Good Luck!
E.

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E.H.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the others...babies are not lazy! What an ugly thing to say. Each baby is an individual and develops at his or her own pace. My boys didn't crawl until 10 months (almost 11 mo for one of them), but they both sat unassisted at 5 1/2 months and walked right at a year (both normal), so it all depends on the child. It wouldn't hurt to call ECI though. We used them for our adopted daughter who was delayed in gross motor skills. They helped us a lot!

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

ECI would be great help b/c they work with your child but show you what you can be doing to help. The ECI workers need the parents involvement in order for it to help any. Hope that helps!

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

Call ECI. It's free, you can learn from them, and you can tell them to quit when you want. Turning them down would be like refusing free money. Take it and make the most of it.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D.. My little girl is now 33 months old (2yrs 9 months)and just as smart as a whip and active as can be. However, she did not start crawling until about 9 months of age and didn't walk until she was about 14 or 15 months old. At six months of age she didn't mind being on her belly and could sit up fine (of course she fell over often) but my doctor never had a problem with it. All children respond differently and usually come into their own in their own time. As for your son maybe you could try giving him a little encouragement and insentive to try. You could start by placing things that he really likes just out of his reach and encouraging him to get them himself. Other things would be trying to place him up on all fours and everytime he lays down put him right back up. I find that when they are that young repetition is everything with them. My question though is, does he talk yet or maybe understand some of the things that you tell him. I know my little girl at that age did have a pretty good vocabulary and could understand quite a bit of things and for me that made up for a lot of other things. Okay, so to sum this up just be patient, try working with him a little bit and he'll come around to it all in his own time.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

hi there the eci is a wonderful group. my daughter is wrkng on speach now. they can come to your son rather it be at, daycare,school where ever and wrk w/ him. they come out 2 times a month. they know wat to do,and give u suggestions to wrk w/ your child before their next visit. the number to eci i have is rhonda ###-###-####. she can send you in the right direction. good luck! T.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the other moms about getting your child evaluated and that the use of the word "lazy" wasn't the best choice. So much is happening developmentally that it's important that your child stay on track as much as possible. If anything, it was give you some peace of mind.

My own son wasn't sitting at 9 months either...wasn't crawling, pulling up. He would also arch his back when in a sitting position, as if he was uncomfortable. He was developing "normally" in every other aspect. Being a speech therapist, I'm always assessing my child's language & such! Anyway, my pediatrician just blew off my concerns. When I discussed my concerns with other people, the tendancy was to tell me all kids develop at their own pace or it's because he's a big baby. At 10 1/2 months, I decided the issue was weighing on me too much & it was time to do what my gut was telling me. I found a pediatric physical therapist (found through Mamasource!). Turns out my son had a mild vestibular problem, which explained his delay. Within two weeks of beginning tx, my child was sitting and beginning to crawl. It was absolutely amazing! My child's world opened up with being able to sit & move around. I must admit that my back got a break since I was carrying my sweet, big baby everywhere:)

I didn't contact ECI because I wanted my child evaluated immediately since I felt I had probably waited too long. I justed needed to resolve my concerns & stop worrying about it every day.
Best of luck. I do hope you post what you ended up doing.
A.

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