Temper Tantrums - Willits,CA

This is when I'd use a time out. Seperation is the best thing for this behavior. We use a porta crib at this young age. I havn't had to use it yet for my littlest though she is starting to show an opinion about things. I only do a time out for behavior that hurts another person on purpose or that is persistantly naughty. Just a minute or two. It really is a good way for teaching boundries when they are this young.

my son acted out towards me...not towards other people. i just kept on him. sent him to the corner everytime he actd out and gave him NO attention until he stopped crying, was calmed down, AND I was calmed down. it is\was tough. but it gets better. now when he begins to act out I ask him, "what happens when you throw a fit" he says i go to the corner and usually calms down before having to actually go there. lately he says " i am not throwing a fit i am just mad" i appreciate the fact he can identify his emotion and as long as he calms down right then he doesnt have to go to the corner. good luck!!

Hi S.!
I've actually been going through the same exact thing with my 14 month old. ( She started doing this at probably 8-9 months old.) What works for me, and trust me, its difficult because you don't want them to hurt themselves- however, you have to immediately do 2 things: 1) don't try to talk to her or pick her up because that just increases the intensity of the tantrum & escalates the situation & therefore the biting, digging nails into you & or pulling out your hair,etc.
2) both you and anyone else in the room must not look at her, don't react or respond in any way & walk away. Now this wont seem like its working at first but the whole reason they're throwing this tantrum is to get your attention. Now my daughter would follow me and try climbing up my leg..so I then would squat down to her level making direct eyecontact with her & in a firm but soft tone (almost like a loud whisper) and say that hurts when you hit your head on the floor/door/etc doesn't it? Bad door! or however you want to divert the negative energy. Trust me it works ...at first I couldn't just let her bang her head thinking she'd really hurt herself then my dad made the following comment: when she realizes that gee this hurts when i do that! she wont do it! but ..you have to ignore it and everyone in the room needs to follow suit. Now when my daughter bites me or hits me in a violent way I say no alysssa we dont bite-that hurts! this has to happen almost right when its happening...then i wisk her up & put her in her crib so she cant really hurt herself or anyone else. Hope this helps! Also I didn't realize it until after the fact but it turned out that my daughter had gotten her 1st molars so she could be in pain as well & tylenol may help!
Best of luck with your daughter- be sure to post the outcome on here!
Thank you,
L. K

I have a friend who swears by 1-2-3 Magic (google it), but what our pediatrician suggested that worked for us was simply instituting time outs. Simply remove her from the situation that is making her angry, sit her down, tell her sternly that she is not behaving, turn away from her, count to 10 or so... Pick her up and tell her you love her and send her off. It may not work the first time, but if you and other caretakers respond this way, it will work quickly.

temper tantrums are normal for one year old, although not all children have them. Usually, strong children will demonstrate them more then easy going personalities.
A child behaving "out of control" says is: "I will show you how much I want XXXX!". All we need to do is to communicate to him we do get it. That does not mean we can give him what he wants, but just we understand how badly he wants that. The best way to communicate that is to stay calm, and not be caught in the drama. This is hard because the tantrum is so loud and scary and dramatic, many times we raise our voice, loose patience, start to feel sorry for ourselves and just want to make the tantrum go away. The more we focus on the child changing his behavior - the longer it will take. The child need to cry at that moment, and the safest place to put him is on the floor, carpeted one is better. Than stay close to him, but stay calm, use your word to tell him he will be OK and you are there to wait for him.
For a child to experience how HE has control of his body, of his feelings, is the most empowering experience of them all.
And don't forget: starting to deal in a supportive way with tamper tantrums with your child at 1 year old, put the foundations for future ones, that might be harder to deal with. So, you have a head start!

D. Orr daliacoachesparents.com

My son did this for a short period of time around 1. Removing them from the situation and diverting attention (if you can - isn't easy sometimes) elsewhere worked for us.

Reasons can be various.

There are typical behavior problems stemming from passive parenting or lack of discipline and structure, but she seems awefully young for that. Any one of these issues could be explored:

*B6 deficiency will cause agression. Consider a B-complex liquid, which could help her nervous system. I recommend trying this. Keep carbs and sugars to a minimum as they destroy B stores as well. I would add a probiotic, like accidophilus or lactobaccilus, which will feed some b vits and help combat bacteria.

* lead poisoning. (keep in mind some shots can have lead in them. Children who have compromised immune systems seem to be affected by vaccinations moreso than healthy children.

* Acid base imbalance (acidosis or alkalosis) which can include low vit d, diabetic acidosis (or phosphorus imbalance by using laxatives)

* Hypoglycemia

* Hypoglycemic attack

* Thyroid imbalance

* autism

* Soto/Reyes syndrome

* Nyssen Van Bogaert syndrome

* Omega 3 imbalance (Cod liver oil will provide omega 3 and also good vit d and A source)Walmart has an orange flavored one.

* bacterial infections, which can cause encephalitis, like west nile virus, HSV, lyme disease, or encephalitis caused by parasites or immunizations.

* brain tumors

* water on the brain/pressure

* past head trauma or birth canal trauma (I've seen dogs which had head trauma as puppies snap and have unprovoked agression.You might check with an accupuncture/chiropractic specialist to help with this)

* partial seizures in the hypothalamus or lymbic system
would show:
sudden unprovoked aggression, mood changes before the seizure, dialated pupils,...after the agression the person may be depressed,lethargic,unresponsive, staring at walls, or sleepiness.

Take note of any confusion, motor changes in posture, headache, nausea, tachardia, restlessness or motor coordination issues before an agression attack.

* Yeast doctors claim that yeast overgrowth causes agression with head banging in very young children.Look up candida infection online.

(babies can be born with fungal infections inside ..presenting as thrush and fungal diaper rashes. Genitian violet, nystatin, grapeseed extract, caprylic acid, and oregano oil drops under the tounge all help combat fungus, and should be safe with your toddler, if need be.

Regards,
G. B

Is it possible that communication is an issue here? ie, she is upset because she wants something that you aren't responding to or giving her the wrong thing that she isn't (trying to) ask for?

Try Signing Time (this is the best of any of the signing videos/programs I've seen. I have no association with Signing Time by oh what's her name? the kids on the video are Alex and Leah last name is de Azevedo (something like that.. I just have seen the wonderful results from so many people - and yes I sign)

Anyway, try that, and see if it eases up a little bit because she can tell you what she wants (ie she wants cereal from the blue box, not cheerios today.)

My son didnt have temper tantrums till he was in his 3's and wanting to do things I was not about to let a toddler do (like use the knife, etc). I do have an issue with his temper now that he is 7 :(

I think our kids might be related!! I am truly relieved to hear about another one year old throwing tantrums. I thought that i might be alone! I'm just consufed as to how she figured it all out. How does she know to throw herself on the floor?! Where do they learn it?

I've never heard of a one-year-old behaving like that. Where did she learn this behavior? I would try to figure it out, and I would also discuss it with your pediatrician, and see if he/she thinks you should consult a child psychologist. If she were 2 or 3, you might expect her to start trying this stuff, especially if she saw another child doing it. But at one, I would be pretty concerned.

One thing you might try is to learn to grab her and immobilize her so she can't throw herself on the floor or bang her head, and so she can't hit or bite you. Hold her immobilized until she calms down. I don't think there's much else you can do at her age, because she isn't old enough to understand "time out" or "go to your room," and one year old is too young for a spanking. As far as other kids go, she will eventually meet a kid who introduces her to the knuckle sandwich when she hits or pinches, although that's not really an optimal way for her to learn how to get along with other kids.

S.,
My 1 year old does this too! Isn't it nuts how someone so small can have such a temper!? I try the time outs but her big sister usually gives her what she is screaming for. I am looking forward to what others post, and i will google 123 magic right now!

Best of luck,
C.
Helping moms like you!
www.AtHome4MyGirls.com

My son who is one is also doing this and it freaks me out because I'm afraid he'll do it in the wrong spot (ie on the sidewalk) and really hurt himself. I also use time outs, it usually calms him down but I make him sit longer than just count to 10, I've had him sit up to 5 minutes for particularly bad tantrums. Basically until he's calm and not crying and its worked so far.