Teaching Kids a Foreign Language; We Have No Rich Conversations Now

Updated on November 11, 2011
J.O. asks from Novi, MI
6 answers

Most seemed to think paying $176/month for 85 minutes of language school a week (100% immersion) was too much, especially given I'm fluent. But I disagree, now. :)

Well, after speaking 100% of the language to them for a few days (and yes, they are learning of course), I'm frustrated. Fluent, sure, but limited. I'm not a native. We no longer have rich conversations. They are basic. And I don't have the words all the time so end up yelling at them in the language over and over, like a 2-year-old. That's how they must feel!
My kids have been miserable.
That 85 minutes a week when the native who speaks to my oldest cheerfully in the FUN immersion environment with a few other kids at the language school? It's the best part of the week.

I miss rich interactions with my kids. How do I do that when I don't have a good enough grasp of the foreign language? But I realize I need to keep speaking it to help them become fluent.

What can I do next?

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

like I said yesterday - I think it's expensive but if you can afford it, do it.

Yelling at them in the language is like what some ignorant Americans do when they go overseas....which is quite embarrassing...they go up to the counter to order something and EXPECT the person to speak English....so when they don't "get it" they yell at them...thinking that will help them understand them better. It doesn't.

When the kids are not getting it - slow down - take a deep breath. Use both languages. this is a learning experience for your kids, not torture for any of you!!

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

That was why I didn't teach my kids Spanish, which I speak. I'm pretty fluent, but not perfect, and I was daunted by the very things you are talking about. So I gave up and spoke English to them.

My daughter, who is not a natural linguist, wishes I had taught her, however. So I suggest you just use both languages, saving the rich conversations for English. At least they will get the basics.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

Ha ha! You sound like me. For more than three years, I debated sending my daughter to Language Stars. I kept looking for cheaper alternatives. I hired two different Chinese-speaking babysitters, let her watch Chinese DVDs, and taught her some of the words that I know. This fall, I enrolled her in a Saturday Chinese school. She hates it and is not learning much.

Finally, I enrolled my older two kids in Language Stars a couple months ago. They love it, and so do I!

I am not fluent in Chinese, but I can understand it and speak it okay. I can definitely supplement the Chinese lesson plans and teach my kids basic things, but I can't teach them conversational Chinese. Nor can I teach them to enjoy learning the language.

The Language Stars program is very expensive. Writing that tuition check was like a kick in the gut to me. BUT, it is still cheaper than college tuition for learning a foreign language, and the kids are so much more capable of learning it at this age.

For interactions at home, I have played Simon Says in Chinese with the kids. They really enjoyed that. I need to come up with other ideas and force myself to implement them. It's really hard to make learning a foreign language fun, and it's even harder to discipline yourself to teach it to them.

I say keep your kids in Language Stars for now if you can afford it. If you can find a teacher to come to your home for less money, that's even better. Maybe you can just practice the Language Stars curriculum at home with the kids for additional exposure. Good luck to you! I'm in the same boat.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you answered your own question. Everyone's miserable. Put them back in and while they are there, you can work on it, on your own.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My Husband and I speak different languages.
My kids upon birth, were "immersed" in both languages.
From birth, we merely spoke to them, in each of our respective languages.

My kids are now 5 and 9.
They are, fluent in both languages. In terms of speaking it and reading it and hearing it.
They are also... multi-lingual, and learn other foreign languages, via their school. And they even teach ME, about the other languages.

Now, we always have, great conversations.
In both languages.
Learning a language... should not be how you are experiencing it, with your kids.

Or, you get them a Tutor.

You say you are fluent... but not native speaking.
Still, you are fluent.
You need to have a way, to teach your kids.
Actually speaking it to them and giving them lessons on it and reading to them books in that language and watching videos in that language etc.

OR, join a culture group... for that language.
Anyone can join a culture group...and families.
That way, you interact with those that speak the language.
Your kids too.

OR send them back to their language school.

OR, you can take lessons... too.

OR, you can send them back to immersion classes. And you take classes too... and you all join a cultural group in that language.... and then you will learn the language/the culture/ and make other friends who speak the language.
Thereby, maximizing your and your kids, exposure to it all and learning it.

The thing is as well: you say you are fluent. BUT, if you don't speak it correctly and have the wrong 'accent' while speaking the language... your kids will learn incorrect enunciation and accents.
My Husband for example, even if someone is fluent in his language.... he can tell where they are from/their region or even if it is an American accent or not.

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

I'd suggest diving into some vocabulary yourself. This will help you communicate better. Carry a dual language dictionary around with you if you need to. Ask your kids for parience as you find the right words. This is such a gift you are giving them, but it will come with some sacrifice. Hang in there!!!

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