Suggestions Needed Regarding Feeding My Little One

Every child is different and your son may be benifiting from the closesness and opportunity to nurse through the night. The Kids' Factory Family Resource Center has breastfeeding information and support available for new moms! Sounds like you are doing the right thing!

Nursing is the best way to get your child healthy again, and to soothe them. Any doctor that knows anything about nursing will tell you to "nurse them back to health," and I have been told that by two doctors.
Something to keep in mind is that your baby is still an infant. He does not manipulate or do things selfishly. He does what he needs. If you feel your instincts are saying to feed him - then feed him. He is your baby, and you know him best. Night nursing is not a 'bad' habit to worry about. Personally it is my least favorite because I wake every time, but he is a healthy happy baby because we do.
Follow your own instinct, even if it goes against common practice. Doctors don't know everything, and listen to advice with a grain of salt. It will be easier to listen to yourself, and know that you have all the answers for your son.

If you'd like more information or support about breastfeeding check out La Leche League International (llli.org). They can help answer questions with facts too.

I agree with Amanda. Babies are individuals and some need more time with mama than others. There's nothing magical that happens in all babies at 6 months to make them start sleeping through the night. Being close to mom and breastfeeding on cue will not hurt a child - quite the opposite. Good luck!

Hi there. First of all, congrats on your baby boy!! I'm sorry I can't help you to break his habit, but I thought I'd write to let you know that it's okay for him to sleep in your bed and get up to eat still at 6 months old. Doctors will say that by 4 months babies don't NEED to eat at night and should sleep through the night... but like another lady said, each child is different and may digest faster or slower and need that middle of the night feeding. My son is 11 months old and sleeps in my bed. He was waking every couple hours to comfort suck (not really eating a meal, just sucking for comfort and then would fall right back to sleep). He did this up until recently... It's been about 1 week and he's now sleeping better and only waking once at night and even then he only eats for a few minutes until he is fast asleep again. They say that they can smell us and the milk so having him next to you encourages him to want to suck rather it be for food or comfort. If you really want to get him out of your bed, my son's doctor said to start by putting him in a portable play pen in your room, next to your bed. Gradually (week by week) move that play pen further and further away until it is out of your room completely. By doing this he will get used to being further from you and not being able to smell you and the milk. I haven't tried this yet, but let me know if you try it and how it goes for you. Best of luck!

First of all, nursing should not be used as a "cure-all" for everything with an infant. Secondly, pediatricians do not know everything about your specific child. Babies are different.

Having said that, let's see what we all can do to help you. If your baby smells you, he will want to nurse more often. How about pumping some milk and having your husband or someone else feed the baby ocassionally. And letting him cry is not a bad thing. He does need to learn how to self soothe. The crying will be MUCH harder on you than it is on him.

Our children learn what we teach them and you have taught him that nursing cures everything. Now you have to turn that around.

God bless!

B.

Hi K.!

Well, I am a mom that KNEW the difference between what the Pediatrician said, and what I allowed to happen as far as co-sleeping. I didn't mind letting my boys sleep with me until they were ready not to. But you need to know that if this is what you choose to do, then it could be up to 4-6 years for your son to go back to his own bed gracefully.

Otherwise, you can break the habit now, while he's at an age where he can still learn to fall asleep on his own with a little patience and consistency.

I think it's up to you, not a Dr. I don't think there is a wrong way to go. But because he's 6 mos., now is a good time to make that decision one way or the other.

K., when our kids are sick we have all done things to create security, and sometimes a habit for awhile. Don't feel guilty about it, it's normal. Just know that everytime you do things like that, it can soemtimes take a few weeks (at the most) to "get back to normal".

You sound like a wonderful mother :o) Your little one is lucky to have you!

~N. :o)

My son is coming up on 11 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. Every child is different so don't let your ped tell you that EVERY child at that age sleeps through the night. It's bull. A child, unless there is something chemically wrong, won't eat every hour unless they are hungry. There is a difference in the nursing. If he is doing a high paced light sucking with no audible swallowing then he is doing it for comfort.

K., if you want to break the habit now is a good time. I had a similar thing with my daughter and this is what we did. Like you, I was b feeding and she was awake every 2 hrs or so. I put her in her own room on a Thurs nite with the intention of having a difficult weekend. First night, she slept until 2am and woke up crying. I fed her a bottle of expressed milk. She went back to sleep and slept til 7am. I was amazed. Then every night after that, I gave her a dream feed, ie fed her a bottle of milk about 7 ozs at 10pm or just before I went to bed, to make sure her tummy was full.Basically you go to her while she is sleeping and feed her, she will not really even wake up and will go back to sleep right away. She then started sleeping through the night and usually wakes up about 7am. On occasion, she would wake up in the middle of the night and start babbling and talking alot. I did not go to her room and lo and behold she was back to sleep herself in 5 mins.. Now if she wakes and is really wailing and bringing the house down, I warm a bottle of expressed milk for her and feed her. What really helps is stopping the b feeding at night. Here's what I think was happening.

When your baby sleeps with you, they hear every move you make in bed, so I think in fact we wake them up. We then pick them up immediately and feed them. There are also times when they are just talking in their sleep and we pick them up thinking they are really awake and they are not. Again we feed them. So, I truly believe we accidentally wake them up. Remember, not only is the fragmented sleep exhausting for you, it is also exhausting for your baby. Waking up every hour for your baby, is not healthy or beneficial for him either so that's why I decided to intervene. Think of it as doing something very good for your baby and remember your baby needs a decent nights sleep too.

I hope this helps. Good luck

If he is still sleeping with you then you need to break him of that first, starting putting him in his own bed. Not smelling you will help him go longer without eating. I have two boys both I breastfed for a year and both ate a couple times during the night at six months that is not correct that he has to be sleeping through the night, he should not be eating every hour though, that has to be exhausting for you. They do get in habits when they are sick though, it will take time.
good luck,
C.

K.,
Is it possible he is having tummy issues? The frequent nursing might soothe his tummy (at least if it's a problem with acid). The reason I am thinking this is because of the gagging when he cries, though I know most kids will do that if they cry hard enough for long enough.

Hi K.-
I don't think you should stop feeding/nursing him, but he needs to be put onto a schedule ow that he is healthier. The habit is easiest to break while he is still young. There may be a few sleepless nights and some crying, but it's worth it to teach him to self soothe (you can still pick him up if he really starts to cry and get upset). Try reading a book called Baby Wise. My sister did and it is working like a charm. My older sister waited until her son was 2 months old to work on a schedule. It can be done at any age, and the sooner, the better. What you do is take his wake/feeding schedule/nap time and put it into a revolving program. At night, for his last feeding before bed, make sure his tummy is FULL. When he wakes for his middle of the night/early a.m. feeding, feed him and put him right back down. Allow him to sleep as long as he wants (not more than 5 hours) and then start his morning feeding. You can do this breast feeding, and if you need too, start him in a sleeper next to your bed, and then slowly move him into his own room/crib. As long as you are confident and comforting, he should be ok aside from the normal fussies that babies get.
Hope this helps!
-E. M.

Hi K.,

I say allow him to continue to nurse and then slowly re-wean him. Nursing is good nutrition and it's comforting to him, especially after getting over a yucky cold. He's probably taken two steps back in his development, from being a little baby to toddler, and he probably needs to feel secure again in his world after so much discomfort and miserable feelings from getting a cold.

When his behavior seems to normalize again and he's laughing and playing and more on the same page with you, then I would suggest slowly reintroducing him to the weaning process a little bit at a time.

Hope this helps you and I hope your little one feels his old self again.

-M

Having a sick baby is the worst, I hope he is feeling better. I know those all night feedings can be h*** o* you but it is OK for your son. I feel it's important to comfort a baby if he's upset, no matter what time of the night. He may need extra feeding as he's growing but nursing every hour is really frequent. Since it sounds like sleeping with you is new, it could be that your son is waking so often because he's not comfortable, maybe too hot or too cold, or your movement disturbs him. Try a bassinet or something next to your bed so it's still easy for you to feed at night but he has his own space. At 6 months my daughter still liked sleeping swaddled, you could try that. Also try to substitute a feeding with a pacifier. My daughter nursed every 2-3 hours until 13 months. She didn't nurse well during the day so, I choose to feed throughout the night because I thought it was important she got as much breast milk as possible. My pediatrician also said that she didn't need to eat during the night, but I thought she did. You know you child best so, in this case, go with your gut and do what you feel is best to keep him healthy. It's OK to feed during the night, just try to make sure he's waking because he's hungry, and not because some other factor is disturbing his sleep.

I agree with what has already been said that every child is different, it is absolutely normal and natural for a child not to sleep through the night until a much older age. Also makes me concerned (and a bit angry), that pediatricians tell things like this to moms. I think this is "common wisdom" approach, and unfortunately, it still has not changed in the medical establishment. As far as habit formation, my boys are now 17-months-old, and they have been co-sleeping with me since they turned 3 months old, they nursed at night, and later they just simply stopped. No "bad" habit was formed. We attended to their needs, fed on demand, and at the age of 1 they started sleeping through the night by themselves. I think it is a myth of "forming habits" in children. Their little bodies dictate when they wake up and when they want to eat. You're doing great by taking care of your son and attending to his needs, I'm pretty sure it will go back to his normal rhythm once he feels better.

i let my son sleep next to me and nurse as much as he wanted for over a year. i felt pretty well rested as i didnt get up in the middle of the night. many drs tell moms what their kid should be doing, but reality can be quite different. your child is perfectly normal and good for you that you kept him close when he was sick. oh, by the way, my son is now 3 and is very independent and happy.

I just went through a very similar thing. My son had been sick for a few weeks and was having trouble keeping fluids down. I was told to nurse him more often because he was dehidrated, this included up to 5 times in the middle of the night. Anyway, he just recently had his 6 month dr. visit and she told me the best way to get him to start sleeping through the night again was to cut one feeding out at a time. She said just to let him cry until he falls asleep, and that you have to commit to not feeding him or picking him up. She said the first night he might cry up to an hour, but then the next night will be 20 min, then the next 5 min, and so on. If you give in and feed him after he has been crying a while, he will learn that if he cries long enough you will pick him up.
So I just tried this out. The first night he cried for 40 min. I didn't think I could hold out, but I did. The second night he cried for 15 min. and the 3rd night was about 7 min. Now he just wakes and makes fussy noises for a minute or two and goes right back to sleep. It is wonderful. He now goes to bed at 9pm and wakes up at 7:30am. I hope this helps.
P.S. He sleeps in his own crib also.