Suggestions for Toddler Who Hits Mommy / Daddy & Little Brother

You can watch for situations that make him mad and try to prevent it, but the thing is if he is not talking in full sentences, that's what toddlers do since they can't communicate. If time outs work, just keep doing it so he can learn that it is not an acceptable behavior(and make sure you talk it through so he knows that YOU KNOW how he is felling"like I know it makes you mad that Sammy took the toy from you, but we do not hit ...and stuff like that). Our oldest went through this stage(he did not talk till he was 2 1/2) and it got a lot better after he could talk. Our youngest is 18 months and is doing the same thing, so we're just working through yet another stage.

My 3 year old boy just began running, bull style, into every relative he can find. When we talk about it we tell him it hurts and, "Do I hit you? No, because hitting hurts and we dont hit in this family"... he does it less, but still, and what i realized is, it is about him learning that no one responds to hitting the way he wants (play with him, hit him back, etc), only gives him a reprimand and a reminder of what he CAN do if he wants to play with us or get us to pay attention to him (use words) or play physically (kiss, hug, tickle)... this is different for a 22 month old but he can understand you even if he cant speak back in complex terms like this, so just remember its about constantly, ad nauseum, reinforcing what you are about, and using your behavior as a model for how you want him to be. And you know, sometimes the only ay kids learn is through seeing that they hurt someone and really feeling ashamed, and thats OK ie: if he hits another kd who cries, or his father who then refuses to play with him, underline the cause and effect for him, and allow him time to feel bad. Most of all, remember it will stop! Every phase does!

Hi C.,
My son is 2-1/2 and began hitting when we put him in daycare 4 months ago. When my son could began speaking, I began teaching him how to express his feelings. Teaching him what a mad, sad and happy face looked like and also would describe to him what he was feeling when he would cry, laugh, or be upset.

I really do not like that my son hits when he is upset, so I began to say things like, "I see that you are upset/angry/frustrated, but we do not hit because that hurts the other person. When your feeling upset/angry/frustrated, tell me and I can help you work it out"

When my son hits me, I tell him, "that hurt mommy", and that usually takes him out of his fit and (sometimes) he says "Is mommy OK, is mommy angry?"

I think its important to communicate and help him understand what he is feeling, what the effect of his actions are and (the most important) what he can do instead of hitting.

Good Luck!
N.

My son is 2 years and 2 months and he also occassionally hits- he picked it up in daycare. The way I deal with it is make sure he knows I disapprove with my face and say "no, we don't hit. That's not nice." He sometimes does it again. I then say, "What did mommy say?" He usually answers, "No, no." Then I explain to him if he does it again then I will take away whatever toy he is playing with at the time. Sometimes he'll then raise his hand, testing me, so I'll say, do you want me to take away (whatever toy he's playing with). He'll say no and then I'll say don't hit. If he hits anyway, I take away his toy and put it up in his closet. This usually follows with a fit but I ignore it and he gets the point. He then loses that toy for the rest of the day.

I feel kids this age are too young to understand that sitting in a chair for a certai amount of time is a punishment (Plus he sits for a long time nicely when we're out and I don't want that to change if he feels that is now a punishment.) But I feel they DO understand the instant they lose their favorite toy. Good luck!