24 answers

Such a Weird Child

One of my friends has a weird boy (4/y 4/m) I think. Each time we come to visit his house, he wont talk to us and even sometimes hit us. He acts the same way to anyone trying to speak to him. And he also hits his mother if she doesn’t give him what he wants. What should we do to change this unruly boy?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

it alarms me that someone who characterizes a little fellow with some behavioral issues as 'weird' also thinks it's her job to 'change' him- when he's not even her kid.
ask his parents how to handle it when he tries to hit you. i certainly wouldn't tolerate that. but other than that? butt the hell out.
khairete
S.

13 moms found this helpful

wow....all I can say is I personally am Blessed to have such a "weird" child.
My son will be 4 in June and he is on th Autism spectrum. He has a lot of delays especially with social interactions. Maybe instead of trying to change this "unruly" boy....just maybe you should work on having some empathy.

3 moms found this helpful

This could be a behavioral issue that's not being corrected by his parents, as others have suggested. He could also have some other problem with socialization that has not been diagnosed (some forms of autism inhibit social skills and conversation, ODD causes defiance, etc.). There may be something causing violent rages. It may be beyond his control and so it's not a good idea, or particularly helpful, to label him as "weird." However, that doesn't mean that you need to put up with it. Gently suggest to his mother that he seems to be having trouble adjusting to group play or whatever. See how she reacts. If she's open, suggest that she speak to her pediatrician and/or get some early intervention evaluations and services from the town/school system (free). If she's defensive, then just limit or eliminate play dates because of the hitting. Tell her, with compassion, that social get-togethers just aren't working now, and that you'd like to resume when he gets through this "phase." If she doesn't take care of it now, he'll definitely be referred for services when he goes to school. It will just be a lot harder because she's not addressing this at an early enough age. Meantime, he is clearly not a happy child, and hopefully she will want to help him.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Such a weird child, how well do you know him really? Does he have an Autism spectrum disorder. My son acted like that when he was younger because he could not control it!

I don't mean to sound snotty, well actually I do because this post really irritates me. There are some people who think their kids are so darn perfect and any deviation from their perception of the norm is bad parenting or weird. Why do some people think it is acceptable to judge when they have no idea what is going on.

So what should you do? First try using your words to explain to the mom what is bothering you. Then listen to her words to understand what is actually going on. Then ask her if there is anything you can do to help. That is what real friends do.

16 moms found this helpful

it alarms me that someone who characterizes a little fellow with some behavioral issues as 'weird' also thinks it's her job to 'change' him- when he's not even her kid.
ask his parents how to handle it when he tries to hit you. i certainly wouldn't tolerate that. but other than that? butt the hell out.
khairete
S.

13 moms found this helpful

I don't think you should label this child as weird, or try to "change" him. He's not your child. Don't visit his house. Let his mother deal with it.

11 moms found this helpful

First of all, he is not weird, if anything he is not well behave.
Weird is that you want to educate a child that is not even your family.
What you should do? Nothing, he has a mom.
If he is hitting your kids, then stop him and say don't hit and if the mother doesn't do/say anything then maybe you should leave.

10 moms found this helpful

Every one of your questions is about your child or someone else's child being somehow "abnormal." I think that you should generally worry less about everyone being perfectly the same and worry more about whether or not these children are generally happy. If they are, then I don't really think there's any cause for concern, and certainly no cause for intervention.

7 moms found this helpful

Weird. See it's people like you who make bullying happen. You assume that you have to do something about it. He obviously has developmental issues. He's not your child so you don't worry about it. If he's at your house, tell him no hitting other than that, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!

6 moms found this helpful

First, don't make assumptions that his behavior is unruly. There are problems that can appear to be poor discipline or lack of discipline, and it's no help to your friend if everyone automatically assumes he's a bad, unruly, or weird kid. It makes it hard for moms who need help and/or advice if people jump to conclusions without having the whole story. And that's true regardless of whether there is a problem with her son or a problem with the discipline techniques being used. Second, "we" doesn't include anyone but his parents unless his parents have specifically requested your help in changing his behavior. If you are concerned because you don't like to be around it, then all you can do is limit your time with this friend and her child. If you are concerned for your friend's sake, then ask her if there's anything you can help her with. But she may not be interested in your advice, especially if you have made comments about her child like those in your post to her or others in your circle of friends.

6 moms found this helpful

Nothing , he's not your child and not in your house.
If he was at your house, I'd say tell him that that's not the way the "we act in our house if you continue to do this you will need to leave. That's against the rules in our house"

5 moms found this helpful

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