Still Swaddling 13 Mo. Old.....?

Updated on January 16, 2010
E.F. asks from Portland, OR
18 answers

Okay, here's something I'm mulling over/debating with my partner a lot these days. We have swaddled our daughter since birth for nighttime sleep. She loves it. But, I'm having issues with the practice of it. I feel that at this stage she should be able to sleep for multiple hours with out being swaddled. I feel that our swaddling her for so long has caused her to not learn something that she should have learned by now (ie sleeping without her swaddle). I do not swaddle her for naps and she only sleeps for maybe an hour before she's UP. My partner and I both work full time and are concerned at all times in life right now with getting enough sleep. I feel like she's going to have to learn now, or later; either way we're going to go through a rough period of no sleep and adjustment. My partner feels like we should just keep doing it as long as she sleeps relatively well with it. Argh. It's our most constant and rotating childcare debate. Is anyone (or has anyone) else going through this? All I hear are stories of babies, younger than mine who sleep well. I'm assuming we are the last parents on earth to swaddle such an older child and am not sure how I feel about that! Are we stunting her learning? Not sure what to do.....and would love any expereinces/feedback from you mama's and papa's out there.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank all of you wonderful parents who responded to my plea! I cried, I felt so grateful that there was this virtual community to bounce thoughts and issues off of. I think, given our work situation(and need for sleep), that we will probably opt to keep swaddling her unitl...? It is so good to not feel "alone" in one's parenting practices, though, so THANK YOU!!!!!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

She is old enough that if she did not want to be swaddled, she would wiggle out. I see no problem with it if it helps her feel snug and safe. Many children like to tucked in tightly well into their elementary years.

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

You are not stunting her learning. Keep doing it as long as she sleeps for you. She will let you know when she is done with swaddling.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

If you are concerned about your sleep: DO NOT CHANGE IT if it works. There is no reason other than your perceptions and maybe the "well meaning" advice of others that you get to stop swaddling her.
Just swaddle her as long as it works... and well she will let you know when she does not want it anymore... she will learn when she is ready! Why on earth would you want to force it?

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B.S.

answers from Portland on

We were like you... around a year we started wondering how long we should continue swaddling our daughter for. We asked our Naturopath doctor what she thought about still swaddling, and she said that if we wanted to be done with swaddling her, to start weaning her off of it, but really, if we were all sleeping better, it was fine. She wouldn't sleep if we unswaddled her (which was NOT good for us - she had been sleeping through the night since about 2-3 months!) We decided that we would swaddle her as long as she needed it for. It wasn't worth making nights bad for ALL OF US. So we started swaddling her a little looser, and she would wiggle out in her sleep and be fine. Around 15 months we started swaddling her with her arms out. Around 18 months I asked her if she wanted to be swaddled that night and she said no, and she's never needed it again. I don't believe that it will stunt their development, or all those negative things you hear about it. Our daughter is still a FANTASTIC sleeper even though she was swaddled SO long.

So my advice is to not listen to those who say you'll ruin your child by swaddling them so long. Do what works for you and your family, and you'll end up with a happy little girl because she's been sleeping well!

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C.A.

answers from Seattle on

You're getting sleep, don't worry about it. She'll kick out of the swaddling when she wants to. I've never heard of anyone needing therapy/counseling because they were swaddled too long. ;)

And Please, ignore the "should's"! They only make you crazy! Who comes up with these "should's" anyway? Every child is unique, and every parent/child combo is unique. There is no way that all "should's" work for everyone -- or even most!

Enjoy your little girl and your sleep! :)

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

When it comes to sleep my theory is--if it's not broken don't fix it! Maybe one day when you're feeling really well rested try not swaddling her as tight and see how it goes. But, I would say that it's fine and one day in the future you'll realize that you're not swaddling her and that's that. When she's a little older it's so much easier to discuss things with her, but at this age it doesn't work as well. Good luck; we stressed about weaning from the bottle at night and then the sippy cup and now I look back and think, that was actually really easy!

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A.G.

answers from Portland on

My daughter who is 3 now had to be swaddled in order to sleep till a little before 13months, so don't feel alone in that. The main reason we stopped was because her younger sister was born lol. So don't feel alone in this. All I can say is that sometimes cold turkey is just the best way to do it. It's tough, really tough sometimes, but they do adjust. My daughter ended up being diagnosed with a sensory disorder not long ago so they think that was what her issue with swaddling was, but my friends daughter had to be swaddled till she was 16months old and she turned out just fine so it won't stunt or anything. Good luck.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest that she'll take herself out of the swaddle when she's ready to do so. I'm assuming that when you swaddle her she would be able to kick and flail her arms to get unswaddled. I think that's how most babies stop swaddling.

I don't see how being swaddled would be harmful and if she sleeps well continue doing it.

I am surprised to hear that some babies remain swaddled that long. They must not move much in their sleep or wake up and need to self-pacify to get back to sleep.

As to having to learn how to sleep unswaddled I have rarely but at times swaddled myself as an adult when I was particularly depressed and lonely. Theoretically she could remain swaddled all of her life. However, I think that she will learn how to get out of the swaddle when she's ready to do so.

Is her 1 hour nap a problem? If not I would think that she's getting enough sleep.

"If it isn't broken, don't fix it" is my advice.

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

What does your pediatrician say? I tend to go that route, when my husband and I are not sure what to do at all and are conflicted. My husband wanted us to drop the swaddle at 4-5 months and I was VERY nervous about it (I'm the one who gets up!). It was a bit hard because she would wake up when her arms would hit the mattress (this is when she had to be on her back to sleep), but not as hard as I thought it was going to be (much like many transitions). It lasted 2-4 days (I can't quite remember). In your case, one advantage that you do have (as opposed to babies that are younger and less mobile and/or have to still be on their backs to sleep) is that your daughter is old enough to move around and possibly find her own position she is comfortable on her own.

Are you using a swaddling blanket with the velcro? If so, you could try using a large regular blanket again so that she can more easily escape (that way the choice is more hers if she wants to shed the swaddle). Or, alternatively, you can begin doing one arm out for a few nights and then two arms out, and then later start swaddling loosely, and on and on.

Just some ideas - I know it is super hard to know what to do! Though, something is nagging at you and it does sound like you are having some misgivings so it is probably better, for your own sanity, to address it!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Have you ever tried putting her under heavy blankets during her naps? This might give her some of the deep pressure her body finds so comforting.

Most baby blankets seem designed to be light and fluffy, so you might try folding a heavy cotton-fleece or cotton thermal blanket and tucking in around her. It might help extend the naps, and possibly provide a transition away from swaddling.

But I'm with the moms who wonder why you want her to give up her swaddle? If it's a major inconvenience to keep swaddling her, I can see the attractiveness. If it's an idea that she should give it up now, but she sleeps better with it, then I'd be inclined to keep wrapping her up until she's ready to give it up. Sleep is terribly important for all of you, and utterly essential to your daughter's development right now.

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A.B.

answers from Spokane on

If you want to stop swaddling try weaning your daughter from the swaddle. Leave one arm out of the swaddle for a period of at least a week, then the next arm, then the entire swaddle but make sure she has warm jammies to compensate for no longer having the swaddle. This should be gradual enough that there is very little change in sleep habits. Your daughter is old enough to learn to soothe herself, which in essence is what the swaddle does. Help her by letting her pick out a stuffed animal or a special blanket to have in bed with her, eventually she will find a lovey to help soothe her.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

Honestly.... I swaddled my youngest son until he was about 20 months. Even now (at 2 y/o) he likes to be tucked in tightly. He's growing fine, hitting all his milestones, talking up a storm... and -still- sleeping through the night.

Getting enough sleep is hard enough for me (I suffer from bouts of insomnia), so when I find a way to get a little more sleep... I take it!

Your little one will eventually tell you when she wants to stop swaddling. She still likes it for now. Seriously... Stop stressing. There are some adults who still like to sleep tightly wrapped in their blankets. Sleeping without being swaddled is not a developmental milestone.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

With my oldest (now 2.5) we were doing a full swaddle with her at six months and our pediatrician told us we needed to stop. Her reason was that our daughter needed to be able to move in her sleep to help develop her muscle strength. She was/is a normal child but did start sitting on her own and walking a little later than most of her peers. We phased out the swaddle over about 2 months by first leaving out one arm, then both, then no swaddle at all. At 18 months, she had a big developmental shift and started sleeping through the night.

My youngest is now 5 months and we're currently doing a one armed swaddle for most overnights and naps. We sometimes do a sleep sack that keeps legs and torso a bit warmer but allows free movement of arms.

Talk to your pediatrician and see what they recommend!

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D.A.

answers from Portland on

Lots of good advice. We swaddled until the kids were about 20 months.

As long as your child is given opportunities to move around during the waking periods, swaddling won't hinder anything while sleeping.

If it makes her safe and secure and she sleeps and you get sleep, that's what matters.

Happy Sleeping,
D.

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

I'm not exactly sure what you are referring to when you say swaddling. I am wondering if you just mean tucking the blankets closely around her while she sleeps. That's what I did with my daughter and when she was a baby she liked it. Man, if that's all it takes I say do it! Small price to pay for some sleep. My daughter only slept for 5 hours during the first year. Every child is different and every parent is different. Some parents do have kids that sleep a lot and some parents are alseep when their kid is crying in the other room and they tell everyone their kid sleeps through the night like they should win a prize or something. I sure hope you are able to get some sleep. I know it's hard when they are little. If it makes you feel any better my 2.5 year old that used to only sleep 5 hours for the first year (I'm serious about this I was being tortured from sleep deprivation) sleeps 10-12 hours a night now. Just remember, this is only a stage. Sometimes, children regress a bit (maybe needing swaddling) after jumping to a next developmental stage. It's okay to let them regress and be a baby. It won't hurt anything. I think it just helps her feel cozy when she's sleeping.

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

I feel that you should count yourself lucky that she sleeps well even if it is swaddled. My 18 month old just started sleeping through the night.
I think that she will just stop doing it when she is ready. I really don't think that there will be any adjustment. When I was getting my Early Childhood degree, nowhere did we learn that part of development is learning how to sleep with out swaddling. I personally don't think that this will hold her back at all.

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E.N.

answers from Eugene on

We swaddled our son until he was 10 months old, and then he got a bad cold and needed to sleep on his side, so didn't have much choice but to let him go for it... and maybe we got lucky, but maybe also he was used to sleeping well since he was swaddled and just continued? Probably would've been hesitant to stop had he not needed to breath through his cold, lol! Good luck, may be easier than you think!

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D.C.

answers from Portland on

I have a friend who did the exact same thing. She began to unswaddle one arm, then the other as described by others and it worked great. Good luck!

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