Hello mommys,
I started a new job about a month ago and found out about 3 weeks ago that I am pregnant. This is our first pregnancy and my husband and I have decided not to tell anyone of the pregnancy until after the first trimester.
My new job is incredibly demanding and takes me about an hour and a half to drive there each morning and longer in the evening. I took the job, thinking that it was my dream job, and with the caveat that once I am acclimated to company procedures, etc... that i could then primarily work from home/mobile office. The position is a sales job, so I already am driving all over the Chicagoland area. As I said, it has only been a month, so I am still driving out to the office each day.
Over the past 2 weeks, I have had morning sickness that comes and goes throughout the day. Most days, I am completely exhausted. My back hurts from all the driving and i don't have any energy to go to the gym and strengthen my back.
My husband has a well-paying job, so from time to time, I find myself just wanting to quit my job and stay home. My job is stressing me out and I plan to stay at home once the baby comes (in November). But seeing as I am only 8 weeks along, and my job is SO new, my husband wants me to stick it out until November.
What do you think? Should I quit my job, or should i just suck it up and stick it out?
If your husband has a good job and you can afford to stay home, why not? He is not the one with morning sickness. Of course extra money is always nice, but in a sales position it is obviously not predictable anyway. Who knows if down the line you may have to work so if you can enjoy this pregnancy I'd stay home. Congratulations!
Hi L..
I am a teacher and am working full time right now. I am due any day! You need to do what is best for you and your family. However, I will tell you that the first trimester is the hardest, in my opinion. You are so tired and still gettting used to being pregnant. I would hold off a bit. If you decide to quit and stay at home, do it toward the end of your pregnancy when there is so much to do and get ready for. Good luck!
The first trimester of pregnancy is hard. This is the time when morning sickness really affects you and your body is just getting used to all the changes. The second trimester for most women is easier and then the third..it's back to being tough again-actually the hardest because it's the home stretch. You may want to work through the first trimester and then see how you are feeling. How important is this job to you? Despite the pregnancy issues, do you love it enough to stay with it? Are you planning to go back to this job at some point? If you feel awful and extremely stressed, you have to think about whether it's truly important or necessary to keep this job. If your husband makes good money and has the security of his job, then maybe you should just quit if it is too demanding at this time. Like I said earlier, though, you may want to stick out the first trimester and then see what you really want to do. Since this is a new job and you may want to eventually go back, you may want to put in some time and show that you are putting some commitment into it. If you don't plan or want to go back to work after the baby, definitely don't need the money, and feel horrible...I think you have the answer...what's the point of powering through then??? Well, congratulations and I hope you figure out what's really best for you.
I got to not work in my first pregnancy and it was awesome! It got a litlle boring towards the end but I had all the time in the world to stay fit and well-rested. I was in the same boat where we didn't really need my income and I was looking for a new job when I got pregnant. I'm at home with my kids and my 2nd pregnancy was great but not nearly as relaxing as my first. Take full advantage of the time off now, it' the last vacation for a really long time!
Just something to consider...
You mention that you were thinking that you would "primarily work from mobile/home office" once you've been established. Understand that I am not trying to be harsh or offensive, but do you honestly have any idea how challenging it is to take care for a newborn? I only say this because I had such a skewed vision of how things would really be. I took 12 weeks of FMLA and honestly thought that bringing the baby home would be a quiet, peaceful time where I would be able to perfectly transition into my temporary SAHM role - you know, care for the baby, make dinner every night, start working on his baby book and make it all cute and fancy because I had "so much downtime". Boy, was I in for a rude awakening! My baby, like a majority of babies, was on no sleep routine/schedule whatsoever at the beginning. His days and nights were completely switched. We had problems breastfeeding, we had problems soothing and sleeping, he slept for maybe 45-90 minutes at a stretch during the day and then for 2-3 hour blocks at night. When he would wake up (at any hour of the day) he wanted to stay awake. I totally fell into the trap of "Yeah, the first few months will be boring". For me, the first few months were all about survival and learning how to operate and function on no sleep and dealing with a very needy newborn.
From what I understand, all of this that I mention above can be fairly normal. Fortunately it doesn't last long, but I cannot IMAGINE trying to juggle a newborn and working from home! Sure, some people can do it, but if you decide to go that route just make sure that you have lots and lots and lots of support and perhaps some in-home childcare so you can get your work done.
Go with your gut! And in this case, I think your "gut" and your whole body is clearly saying....REST! I applaud you for listening to your body!
I had to work through both pregnancies, but with the first I was able to decrease my hours by 20% and then take off the final two months, which was huge for me.
Basically, by the 7th month I was having such huge anxiety attacks each morning, that I couldn't leave the house without throwing up, getting dizzy and crying my eyes out! The work was too h*** o* my body and I was worried that I was harming the baby, so all that stress caught up to me. The doc let me leave 2 months early and I did not get bored one bit! I rested, exercised, read, got the house ready. It was awesome.
If you are in a financial position to take a break now, that is a rare thing and I would totally take that opportunity. Your job will understand, especially if you were going to leave in November anyway.
Congratulations! Listen to your body! Get a new hobby once the morning sickness and fatigue passes, and the months will FLY by!
Your morning sickness may pass and you might be bored, then, having nothing to do, feeling fine, for many more months. On the other hand, you might really enjoy switching your focus to your new "position" to come, and preparing for it. It may be the only time in your life that you can be a housewife, pre-mom, too, and you can hone up on your organization (so essential when that baby comes), cooking skills, cleaning efficiency. Of course, you have to get the 100% buy-in from your husband, and you have to know that you won't get bored, pre-baby.
You have to do whats best for you. Honestly for me, I worked up until two weeks before I had my daughter. I did have some morning sickness in the beginning and of course I was exhausted, but it wasn't so bad I couldn't go to work. I don't want to be harsh and say tough it out, but it really depends on how much you need the income. I think working was great for me. I didn't have all day to just sit around and worry over every little thing. The nine months seems so long to me by the end, I was glad to have other distractions like work. I would have been bored to just stay at home preparing. The other great thing about working was that I think it really helped me stay active and made the pregnancy and labor easier. I didn't have any issues during the pregnancy and my labor and delivery was only 8 hours start to finish for my first baby. I am a small girl and I delivered an almost nine pound baby just fine. I realize you could also just exercise and stay fit, this was just a good way for me to keep active. If it was me, I would try and stick it out at least for a little while and see if the morning sickness passes, it usually goes away by the second trimester. Do what you feel is right for your own body. The only qualm I would have is that you are driving very far right now, but if you think you will be able to telecommute soon enough, then that won't be an issue for long. Also, if you stay maybe you will be able to still work part time after the baby is born from home and bring in a little money. Good luck!
