Son Not Eating Supper

My Son is now 20 months old and we have been noticing the same thing, no matter what he would not eat dinner, even his faves! We discovered that if we sat him in the "big" chair at the table, out of his high chair, he'd EAT!!! WOO-HOO he just wants to be a big boy!! I don't know if this will help, but it's worth a try!!

I have a question...are you trying to raise him to be an adult with an eating disorder? I assume not, so I have to say quit threatening him. He is not starving himself and he will not get to that point. There was a time when my son (at about that age) would only eat olives and very few other things. It's temporary and he will eat, I promise...just don't make a big deal about it anymore. That may do more harm than good!
L.

Kids will eat when they get hungry. All you can do is offer it to him. My kids would go weeks and weeks and I would wonder how they could not eat much and still have energy. At other times they have eaten more than I thought could possibly fit in their stomachs.

My daughter started not eating well at around 25/26 months and we just let her eat what she wanted to from dinner and then told her 'no more.' If they're hungry, they'll eat. About the dinner last night, why not give him the dumpling soup like you & hubby were eating? He may make quite a mess, but if he'll eat it I don't see the problem. You can always stick him in the tub afterwards! :) They grow out of the not eating and realize that they're hungry and need the food we give them.

Another thing, how long after your hubby gets home from work are you sitting at the table eating dinner? He might just be trying to get daddy's attention for a while. Try giving them like 20min before dinner time. Just a thought!

Well I have a 3 year old, and a 5 year old and they have both periodically gone through these phases. There really was nothing to do about it. I tried everything. Even went to the doctor to get assistance with my first cause I was so concerned. The doctor told me they go of the ID part of their brain and they will eat when they get hungry... She told me not to be so concerned unless their growth starts to go out of their natural curve. Well she is right. They go through stubborn periods of not trying anything to eating everything in front of them no matter how weird it is. So just relax and I wouldn't give him something again in the morning he wouldn't eat before. Let him eat what he actually will eat.

This sounds a little bit like my kids. They refused to eat if their meal looked different from thiers. You both had crackers with your meal that night, but he didnt. I am guessing they feel like we are excluding them from things. My son, who is now 8, had to have his hotdogs the same as us, its hard to eat a chopped up hotdog, btw ;). My three yr old would just eat off of my plate. My one year old will have a fit if we try to feed her first, so we can eat something different. We just give in and make sure that it is safe to eat for everyone. Mealtimes are now peaceful and smooth.

Another possibility could be that he is not growing as much anymore, so he doesnt eat as much. My 3 yr old will eat lunch, but not supper for that reason. She gets what she needs from lunch and really doesnt eat much after that. She has a pretty good size breakfast too.

I hope some of this helps you. Good Luck!

V. -- My son is the same way...eats well at breakfast and lunch (sometimes he has a snack, sometimes not) and he won't eat dinner. I'm totally frustrated as well...could you let me know if you get any good responses? Thanks Rose

We finally learned with my daughter 2 1/2 that she will eat when she is hungry, which was hard, cause she has always been so small. BUt if he doesn't want to eat, then he doesn't eat. We made the mistake of substituting for foods that she would eat, if she refused, and that has been a long up hill battle.

You might also try mixing it up a little with his lunches, so that dinner isn't always the time for experimenting for him.

but somedays I long for babyfood jars, when she would just eat what ever we stuck in her mouth. Sigh...

Hi,

I read somewhere that we eat "backwards" of what our body really needs. Breakfast should be the biggest meal and dinner the smallest. Maybe that is what he is needing. Try serving all the food groups at breakfast, Yougert, cheese, eggs, etc. and a light dinner.
Also I have found that once we start serving the little ones bad carbs, that that is all that they want. That the "bleached" flour in the foods are causing more cravings for the useless carbs (sweets, white breads, pancakes, graham crackers, pasta etc.)I wish more whole wheat products were available is easy forms (mac and cheese). Well it is, in the organic section but it is pricey. This works true for us grown ups too! Carbs Bad, Protein Good! At age 2, there is not enough protein in packaged mac and cheese, and you need 3 tablespoons of peanut butter for enough protein. Imagine that much on 1/2 of a slice of bread!
Also remember portion control so there is room for more variety, at this age 1/4 of a sandwich with fruit AND veggie, and dairy makes a sound meal. Also, cheese is a great snack with a whole wheat cracker.
Hope this helps, I have been serving kids lunch and snacks for 27 years! M.

Hmm, is he not eating snacks during the day because you don't offer them, or because he won't eat them. Most little ones do better with multiple small meals during the day, rather than just three big ones(like us when we're expecting them!). He might be too tired to eat much by dinner time, also. When my son is tired, he often does not eat as well. And lastly, whoever it was that asked what was wrong with a few crackers was right up my alley. Most pediatricians these days will tell you that as long as your child is eating something(healthy of course) than that is ok. It's when they stop eating altogether, adn for an extended period of time, usually, that something might be wrong.

Talking to your doctor can help. Even if it is to ease your mind. My daughter is the same age, and she absolutely refuses to eat somedays. She is healthy and happy and the doctors says she just fine. She also said that at this age they can go through an appetite slump, sometimes from the fact that they aren't in a growth spurt, when they tend to eat more. She also said they can be drinking to much and getting full on liquids. My daughter's case however, is that she gets really constipated and doesn't get hungry until she passes the food already in her system. Her doctor gave us a prescription laxative that is safe for toddlers, and it helps alot. Also, we try to avoid eating a lot of food that plugs up the system (cheese, milk, bananas, etc) and give her things that help her poop, like fresh fruits and veggies and water, dried fruits, and fruit juices like apple, white grape or prune juice. The doctor also said that forcing children to eat can cause distorted views about food which can lead to eating disorders. She said to let my child be done eating when she says she is done, but to put the meal in the fridge for when they are hungry, because introducing new foods is so important. I hope that helps!

This may sound mean, but when he's hungry, he will eat. Leave his dinner on teh table if he eats it great, if he doesn't he wasn't hungry. They go in spurts. If you push he will push right back...its human nature. kids don't place the importance on food that we do, so my advice is to let it go :-)

i don't know if this will help or not....but....when i was that age i went on a kick of only being willing to eat scrambled eggs and green peas....my mother took me to the doctor who said "well, she may turn green and cackle...but she'll be fine'...

seriously tho, perhaps you might try giving him the 'nourishing meal' (meat and veggies) at lunch time or even breakfast and then the other tings at supper time....he might be more willing to accept it then....

little kids go thru periods of not eating much for a while....then just before they start a growth spurt, they gobble up everything in sight....he might just be in a slow growth period....

is he tired by dinner time?...tired kids are cranky kids...and cranky kids generally refuse everything as a matter of course.....

does the whole family eat at the table for all three meals or just dinner?...if it's just at dinner you might pay attention to how much attention he's getting by refusing to eat....could be an attention getting behavior....

and i'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that at 22 months he's not really old enough to reason with...and "breakfast the next morning" doesn't even really fit into his perception....so threatening to give him his dinner for breakfast isn't really a viable threat...

besides, my mother did this to me when i was a kid (grammar school age) i had cold lamb chops and cold veggies for breakfast...and if i didn't eat them, i got them when i came home from school for lunch and then again for dinner and so on til i finally ate them (no snacks and nothing but water to drink)......and now, as a result, i eat everything on my plate practically without tasting it and unless i stop and think, i still (at age 60) tend to wolf down my food and i have a fairly significant weight problem....

and try not to make too many threats...of any kind....especially of you don't follow thru on them....makes you appear to be a non-reliable person...and, like the boy who cried wolf, eventually none of your threats won't be taken seriously....even the really important ones...lots of fun when the kids are older!!

and constantly contrasting his behavior with "good boys" will go a long way to convincing him that he's a "bad boy"....loads of self esteem issues along that road!

good luck....D.

ps....my daughter came up with a pretty clever idea for my grand daughter who is just starting to eat finger foods....ellie loves pasta, especially mac and cheese....jen mixes in strained meats and/or strained veggies to make the pasta more nutritious....

They won't starve themselves so no worries there.

Part of what you said was kind of an Ah Ha moment for me. He wanted crackers too. Perhaps he wants to eat exactly what you are? He's the right age for wanting to be more "grown up"

You might try having him pick out dinner once in awhile. It helps when my boys get into a "I don't wanna eat dinner" rut. We might end up with ravioli's and banannas for dinner but they do eat it.

Teething may have something to do with it, but because he is eating breakfast and lunch maybe not. I guess I am from the "old school" in this situation, because I believe that if my child isn't going to eat dinner then s/he gets nothing until breakfast. I don't make several dinners to please everyone (but if you do, by all means try to give him something else). I tell my daughter that if she isn't going to eat her dinner then there is no bedtime snack and she gets nothing until the next morning and she either says "OK" or she starts eating. Either way, I'm not making a different meal for someone who is picky (I already have to do it enough, my hubby is picky) and my daughter understands that this is one battle that she's not going to come even close to winning. Hope this helps.

V. -

I agree with what everyone else has said - he'll eat when he's hungry. My 2 1/2 year old hasn't eaten more than a few bites for dinner in months, but eats a great breakfast and lunch. He's perfectly healthy and happy!

One major point - at this age kids are trying to obtain some sort of control in their life and really, eating is one of the only things we adults can't make them do. The best advice I can give you is don't turn this into a battle or power struggle. If he doesn't want to eat, fine - don't make a big deal about it.

Best of luck to you!
K.

It's okay, my know 6 year old was the same way a pretty good eater for breakfast and lunch, but wouldn't touch dinner and rare occasions wanted only cereal, the one thing I have learned is they eat what they need, there little internal clocks tell thier bodies exactly what they need and they do it. I wouldn't force the issue, my 6 year old know eats very healthy at all meals, although I must admit he still would take cereal for a 3 meals if I let him, he is just old enough know to explain why he needs to eat the meals I have prepared, and if he doesn't eat he doesn't get anything else to eat for the rest of the night.

my suggestion first of all, is don't tell him that "good boys do..." I used to do that and now my son is convinced he must be a bad boy- and it's REALLY becoming a problem. The way I handled my sons eating habits when he was that age was to ask him what he wanted for supper. If he eats breakfast food well, then fix pancakes for supper some night. Or if you are all having soup- let him eat peanut butter, if he wants it. He is not going to allow himself to starve. Another thing I did when he wouldn't eat was to give him an ensure in the evening. At least I knew he was getting nutrients. I am a firm believer in picking my battles. I am a single mom and don't feel that meal time needs to be the battle of the day. If he only wants fruit- then so be it. He will get better as time goes on.

All 3 of my girls, around age 2, didn't eat very much. They say it has to do with they eat when they grow and at that age my girls all seem to go through a growth stunt for awhile. He's eating breakfast and lunch so I wouldn't be so worried. When he starts to grow again he'll probably eat you out of house and home.

We continue this battle with our son daily. We do the same as many of the others suggested. When he is hungry... he will eat. Plain and simple. It is hard as a mom to wait it out. Just be more prompt on covering things up and putting them in the fridge. I at one point served my son's food right from tupperware containers so that I could just cover them up and offer them again later. :) Saved time and dishes!!!
Typically we have few nights where our son goes without eating dinner, even if it happens at 8pm, while the rest of us are eating a snack!

My son Caleb did this from about 20 months through three years. Drove me up the wall. Breakfast and lunch were fine, but dinner? Forget it. My ped. told me he just wasn't hungry. His body wasn't growing as rapidly, and his stomach was so small, he really only needed three or four bites to fill him up. (I made "hearty" meals like spaghetti and caseroles, so that didn't help either)

Like my ped. told me, kids won't starve themselves. They'll eat when they're hungry, which is usually not when we have meals. :P He'll eventually grow out of it. Hang in there! I remember how frustrating this phase is. :)

I think everyone has good advice!!! However remember NEVER make a threat you know you can't keep. I did that with my kids, "you'll eat it in the morning." They won't starve from missing 1 meal. Also you could try letting him pick out dinner every other night. I tell me kids you eat this and tomorrow night I'll make whatever you guys pick. They eat almost half that night...good enough for me :)

Sometimes they try to see if you will push the issue. If they eat a good breakfast and lunch, I have found that sometimes it isn't worth the fight to try and make them eat. If you don't make it a big deal, sometimes they will quit doing it sooner. My youngest daughter is now 25 months and she went through that and sometimes still does. I ignore it and let her go without eating and then she is hungry the next morning and we start over. Doctors will tell you that it is a phase and they grow out of it. Part of the "terrible twos"!! The teeth might be an issue, but as long as he eats the other meals, probably not. Does he want to drink all the time? Often they are not hungry because they have had a glass of milk or juice too close to the meal. Good luck!!

My son did the same thing when he was about this age. I'll try to make this story as short as possible. I made some cheesy chicken soup and he wouldn't even try it. So I told him he couldn't have anything else until he tried it. he refused. I gave him the same thing for the next meal, and told him the same thing, "you can have something else, as soon as you try this one." He refused. I did the same thing for the next meal (I replaced the food, but kept the same dish so he would think nothing had changed. you can't heat up soup too many times and have it still good). He didn't eat anything that time either. Finally, on the fourth meal/second day, he tried a tiny taste of the soup. I praised and praised him, gave him cookies, ice-cream, whatever he wanted because he tried the food I gave him! He went a whole day without eating anything because he wanted to see if he could get away with it! He did drink in-between, but I gave him no snacks or juice. I have to say though, that it was really tough for me to do. I would cry when he wasn't looking, because I felt like I was starving my baby. It was not easy! But, I have to say that it worked. he is now almost 4 and he has no problem trying things at all. If I make a meal that he hasn't tried, and he says he doesn't like it, I ask him to try it and he does it. If he really doesn't like it, I will make him something else. good luck!

He might just not be hungry or he might be testing you, but either way, there's nothing that you can/should do. Don't bribe him with treats, then he'll come to expect that in order to eat his healthy food. And don't equate him eating his food with being "good" or "bad". If he just doesn't like the food or won't even try it, then that's his problem. He won't starve himself!!!! And like the crackers...don't try to conceal them, just explain that because you are eating all of your healthy food, then you get to eat crackers too. Tell him how good food is for his body( milk=strong bones, protein=big muscles, etc.) THat's about all you can do, explain about healthy eating, set a good example and eventually he'll come around. My kids have gone through phases where they eat very little. And I know this is hard, but try not to make a big deal about it with him, because it could just give him fighting ground to be stubborn!!!!!

Hi V.,
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. My ped. said at my son's 18 month checkup that their bodies stop growing so fast so that he may not eat as well. She said as long as he has one good meal not to worry about it. Just don't give him bad foods. I would offer his dinner to him but if he doesn't it don't make a big deal about it.
Chris

It might sound kind of mean but my daughter was doing the same thing and finaly I would just take it away and not give her anything till the next morning. I know alot of people say they shouldnt go to bed hungry and I really did hate doing it. But I stuck with it and it did take about 2 weeks but now she eats dinner.

My son is 2 and he seems to go in spurts...sometimes he will eat dinner and sometimes he won't. I don't usually push the issue...I figure if he is hungry he will eat, but if he doesn't eat dinner I won't let him have anything but water for the rest of the evening. I wouldn't worry about it too much, kids this age are weird about food and eating. If you become very concerned I would speak with his pediatrician but I think he is just being a toddler!

Hi V.!

I was going to say he sounds like he's teething, then you said it yourself! I noticed with all 3 of mine that when they slow down their normal food intake and just don't seem to eat the way they used to and they don't seem hungry, I check for teething. Just hang in there. This won't last forever. He's just got sore gums, is my guess.

Is it possible that he is overly hungry? If a toddler gets too hungry they will not eat. Our daughter is 2 yr 2mo old and she still get s nutritious afternoon snack. Trying to get a toddler to eat when they are overly hungry and tired is like trying to nail Jell-o to the wall. Also, does he wish to help dish up his own food? When our daughter helps dish up, she eats really well. Also, I always have something like cottage cheese on the table that she will eat and get nutrition from. Why were trying to conceal the crackers? He is at the age that he wants to emualte what you are doing and how you are eating. Also, there are nights I ask her what we are having for dinner, atleast once a week. Let's just say we eat alot of tacos. Also, teething with the eye teeth is rough and could be causing the crankiness.