Hi,
My name is M. and my son is currently 8 months and we're just now transitioning him into his own crib. I'm big on attachment parenting and co-sleeping, it just got to where it wasn't working for us. He started waking like every two hours to nurse (i know nutritionally he doesn't need that) and would just lie in bed and scream and not be comforted by anything, nursing, walking, rocking, singing, etc. We ruled out any medical issues, went through a bout of constipation even, but then he was healthy and just not sleeping well. We would wake him up when we went to bed, and then he was just restless all night and none of us were getting sleep, so it seemed like it was time to make a change. We found that we had to use a combination of cry-it-out and attachment parenting type things to make it successful. A few nights of him crying himself to sleep (we'd go in and give him his pacifier ever 5-15 minutes and pat him on the butt...or whatever we felt we needed to do...sometimes letting him cry for much longer). But then when he would wake up I would go in and nurse him back to sleep and put him down. He started sleeping longer and longer until he was sleeping through the night. We have a great, predictable nighttime routine too. Now, he's started to not sleep well during the day, even though I put him down the same way as I do at night time, and last night, after going to bed at 8, he woke at 11, and 5:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep after 6. He only slept for 30 minutes this morning and has just now barely slept 30 minutes this afternoon. I know he's exhausted and needs to sleep...anyway, do I continue with letting him cry it out during the daytime, and just leave him in there until I want him to wake up? I don't know what to do. I feel like we're starting to rewind after we'd made such progress!
thanks a lot!
Missy
Mom, schedule him some playtime. Eight moths is old enough to occupy himself at playtime, they have so many cool toys for the floor or bed.
Try it. I know you liked him sleeping with you, but that ids never a good idea, then the cry and miss it. I wish the best for y ou.
avoid long naps and nap at the same time everyday. If he doesn't sleep then, you'll have to do things to kerp him wake to sleep through the night
my dd will be 8 mths friday. we transitioned to a crib at 5 mths and did the cio method for her, however she quit nursing about a mth ago and was waking up once a night and would stay awake for 1-2 hrs when doing so and would wake up at 6 and stay up all day. i found that making sure she gets either one long nap (90 min or 120) or 2 short naps(30-45 min) has worked wonderful for us. She now goes down at 730 and falls asleep within 15 min and sleeps till 10 sometimes 1030. she and i play hard while awake and i watch her signs b/c now she will rub her eyes and get really sleepy after being up for about 2 hrs then down she goes and after about 5 min of fighting it by crying she's fast asleep for naps. good luck
I agree with Ami, below, it sounds like you are confusing him. 30 min naps at 8 mos are a classic sign of being overtired. The problem is, once you're in the cycle, it's hard to get out. I think www.babywhisperer.com/smf is a great resource, as well.
M....i know that this all seem like a struggle right now, but stay consistant with what you are doing...don't cave in...even though the crying may get old at times...you're doing the right thing...as long as he is fed, changed, and healthy, he will be alright.sometimes leaving the room to step outside gives you a break from the madness...that's what i have to do...i have a 3yr old and a 2mth old, and iam all about a schedule...sometimes my daughter will take the nap, sometimes she will just lay there and scream, but either way, she's getting that down time...even though the kids don't think it's fun, it will benefit you in the long run.also, try to get your husband more involved during the night...my husband and i did the "tagteam" deal for awhile...he'll get up, then i'll get up, but my 3 year old always remained in her own room, no matter what..every since she was about 9mths old. it just take time. but don't give up...
M., don't give up hope. Your baby is growing and changing and so are his sleep needs. Not every baby needs a day time nap. Maybe just a little quiet time with a story is all he needs to recharge. Eliminating that nap might help him sleep better at night. It sounds like he may be getting into a cycle of a little sleep and a little awake instead of a lot of sleep and a lot of awake. I know it's hard to give up that afternoon nap time as time for yourself, but if it means a full night's sleep it would be worth it.
I really don't believe in letting a baby that young cry it out. All he's learning is that you won't be there when he calls out for you. Pay close attention to his cries and try to figure out what he really wants. Nursing is always the easiest solution but not always the right one. He only has one "word" right now so "hungry" and "need to pass gas" may sound exactly alike. Don't be afraid to mother him. It won't be long and he'll be making his own way.
Good luck and don't let this bump in the road spoil what really is a most precious time for both of you.
M.,
I must say, you are coming along with everything just fine. All the suggestions these moms have given you is awesome, I only wish when my son was first born I had this site to turn into and find some people who could have helped me out. I will say this though, you can read a hundred books about how and what to do for your baby, the rights and the wrongs, but when it comes down to it you and your little love will find a way to work it out your guy's way. Each mom and child grow and learn together differently. You are doing a great job so far, just do what come naturally.
Your peaceful friendly hippie,
KB
As a nurse and a mother of 3, I HAVE to agree that consistancy is imperative for this to work. It is hard, because your heart breaks everytime you put him in that crib and he cries for you. You want to rush in and save him. Just take a little longer between times that you go in and comfort him, until eventually, he will feel secure enough in there on his own that he will sleep for longer periods of time. I know that feeding my 6 mnth old daughter cereal with her formula before bedtime helps her to sleep at least 5-6 hours at a time before waking. I believe that after a couple has a baby, to maintain a strong, intimate relationship, children SHOULD start sleeping in their own bed around this age....you're doing just fine. Trust me, it hurts YOU more than it hurts that baby. And one more thing...white noise, such as a quiet fan turned on loud enough to drown out other noises, is a MUST in my household, even for myself. We all sleep like babies with it on. And now, it even seems like when Trinity hears the fan, she immediately starts relaxing and closing her eyes. Good Luck M.!
With the holday coming up I would say it's time for dad to step in and let you get some sleep. Like tonight when he gets home you get to go to bed and he handles the bedtime and nighttime routine.
We co slept with the middle child for a few years. We didn't do it as much with the youngest cause he had what I call restless butt syndrome at about this age. For us a white noise machine was the answer because it kept his ears stimulated enough so that he could still sleep.
On those nights when he just wouldn't settle down we didn't give him anything to eat. I know nursing relaxes you both but you've created a habit and now he will have to be weaned from the habit. Substitute a pacifier or his thumb each time or if dad doesn't have to work the next day he gets up to do the rocking/sooting.
I would also suggest avoiding food then bed schedules but set a schedule. If you still find him going to sleep while nursing wake him up afterward to play before you put him in bed and let him go to sleep on his own instead of taking advantage of a sleeping baby and putting him down or napping yourself while snuggling.
if you're having trouble with him liking the crib then sleep with the sheet a few nights before you put it on his bed. The ambiant temperature in his room should be the same as in yours and so should the sleep wear and covers. Don't get into the bundling trap because he doesn't have your body heat to keep him warm. You've trained him to sleep one way and you have to stick with all those tricks except having mom and dad beside him.
I would say that he needs consistency. Having him fall asleep on his own at the beginning of the night then nursing him back to sleep when he wakes, he's not sure what he's supposed to be doing. Nights may be great but naps are falling apart.
I recommend The Baby Whisperer (website http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/). The ladies there are very helpful.
HTH. =)
Speaking from experience, it seems that as soon as I got it all figured out with my daughter, she would change the rules on me. It sounds to me that your son may be trying to transition from 2 naps to 1. Around 10 mos or so (my memory gets hazy after 2 kids), my daughter stopped taking a morning and afternoon nap, and started taking a 3 hour nap from 11 or so until 2. I would play around with times, etc, to see what he's needing. Hope that helps!
