Single Mom and Now 2 Adhd Kids

I've read articles about if you cut out high fructose corn syrup it can help with symptoms. My MIL had twins with this disorder, do you keep them busy with positive activities? She told me that was key to keeping her sanity and them out of trouble...keep the little minds and hands busy. As they got older they told her it was like listening to a radio with static and trying to sort out the words...they have so much going through their head at once that it's hard to focus on one thing. I know it'shard, HTH.

Hi~
You may want to look at diet - keep track of what they eat and see if there is a reaction (e.g. with red food dyes - some kids become hyperactive). http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Eating/-/Child/Food-ad...

Create house hold rules, schedules with consistency, try to reward positive behavior as opposed to paying attention to negative attention. check out www.supernanny.com for ideas on how to create daily schedules and household rules. The site also has reward chards you can print off.

Also look at sleep - do they sleep well? snore? restless? Studies are showing that 25% of kids diagnosed with ADD have sleep issues (lack of sleep in kids can lead to hyperactivity, behavioral outbursts, decreased attention, etc).

Last find help! Check out you local children hospital for pediatric behavioral psychologists to help manage behaviors.

Good luck!

I see everyone so far is giving you great options for the natural route myself I took the med route with my son as he wouldn't of lasted in school any other way. A preschool asked me not to bring him back (it was thru a church). He's 4 1/2 and doing well now. He gets his ADHD from me which I am also on med. i didn't do meds til I hit college and couldn't function worth a poop to pass a test LOL!! anyway I'm sure its def not easy having 2 with it. My little guy so far doesn't have it and I pray it stays that way as I don't know that this adhd momma having 2 adhd kids on top of herself would be too easy either! hehe. I did find that a strict schedule is best. If my son isn't in bed by 8:30 he starts to become a terror as his med has since wore off. He takes melatonin 3mg at bedtime or an hr before; which you can get over the counter in the vitamin dept of any pharmacy anywhere. Its natural which is nice and already in everyone's body and this helps him sleep at nite relaxes him and that's helped our sleep issues a lot as far as getting to sleep. Upping his med helped the other problem he was having and that was waking in the night and getting all hyper active and not wanting to go back to sleep! ugh sleepless nights are the worst I'd say! He's had just one since upping his med thankfully and that was a mo ago. :) i wish you lots of luck. hope ya find something that works! :)

First, understand that there is no magical coping mechanism for you nor your children. There are different types of ADHD. Do both children have the exact same diagnosis? Even if so, they are still individuals.
Secondly, the provider who diagnosed the children didn't recommend behavior modification strategies? If not, find a new doctor!
ADHD can be managed through diet changes, medication, behavior modification, educational support and support group interaction...or a combination of all the things mentioned. No doubt, it will be a trial and error process for each of your children. What works for one may not work for the other. Ultimately, your love, patience and determination as their parent to find out what works best for each of them, is what will make the difference in their lives.
Your children will have to learn how to function and to manage their behavior when you're not around. Please don't teach them that they have a right to misbehave or act out; don't let a diagnosis become a crutch nor an excuse for their behavior. Teach them to always do the best they can do.
Lastly, flood yourself with knowledge regarding your children's specific diagnosis. Just like you learned their needs based on their cries, you can learn how to deal with this, too.
My prayers are with you and your babies. May you find the right combination for them and for you. This is for sure, you won't be the first single mom to conquer what seems impossible and you won't be the last. In all your frustration, don't forget to love on your children.

I feel for you! I have 1 and I can't imagine if both my boys had it.

My 9 year old has been on meds for 3 years and is on Adderall too. He's in 3rd grade and this year, we did a "504" plan at school which is a plan with modifications in and out of the classroom that his teacher, guidance counselor, and myself all signed. The modifications include extra time for tests, taking tests in a small group or room to cut down on distractions, me checking his planner every day, and constant communication between his teachers.

It may be too late in the school year for your sons now but start on this as soon as next school year starts!

My son does really well with specific time limits. For example, he was not getting up on time in the morning so I told him that if he's not awake by 7:15, he will not be able to listen to his MP3 player or play his PSP on the way to school. I can't tell you how well it works!! There are days when he would rather sleep late than listen to it but they are far and few between.

Also, when we get home, he has to have an activity to unwind--preferably outside but if not, then whatever he chooses. If he has homework or chores, the activity has a time limit or he can choose if he'd rather take his break or do the work first.

When we do homework, no tv, music, etc. to add to his distractions. He may need short breaks depending on how much he has.

Rewards/ goals are set on a daily basis. It could be a snack after bath (he sleeps really well so I don't have to worry about it being sweet or not). It could be a dollar at school the next day-him controlling all the songs we listen to during our commute, etc etc.

When he is really jazzed, I have to sometimes put my hand on his shoulder sternly to "ground" him somewhat and ask him to slow down, take a breath, and listen to me.

The counseling helps until you get to a point where you are not having so many issues or they are at least manageable. If you get a to a point when they are not, start the counseling again. If you are having problems finding counseling or funding it, there should be community agencies who can help. Having a counselor for yourself is great too!!!!

The one thing I have noticed dealing with ADHD is that there are peaks and valleys. Things are hard but then they get better until we have to readjust again. I hope you get to that point!!

You and your children all need to build stress reduction skills - your children need to be nourished with a healthy diet and a positive environment - not be given labels and told there's something wrong with them. The stresses that you've all experienced have gotten you and your kids out-of-balance energetically, which leads to shifts in nervous system activity and the kind of behaviors that get kids labeled ADD/ADHD. This can be transformed with holistic wellness strategies. You are welcome to contact me if you'd like to learn more about approaches to healing the type of issues that are associated with ADHD diagnoses.

I understand your frustration entirely. My saving grace has been my sons medications. They have a patch (daytrana) they wear everyday, and we can decided when they wear them. Unlike the pills, there is no level to build up to. As long as the patch is on, they get the meds. I didn't lik having to medicate them, but i felt I was spending so much time getting on them for stuff, that I wasn't enjoying my kids. They can not manage this problem without help. They are no misbehaving, they just can no tcontrol their behavior. If you have a lot of time to dedicate to them for extra exercise and stuff, try to avoid the meds. But if you are working and yourt ime with them is already limited, try medcation. It doesn't make you a bad parent for trying to help your kids control themselves.

You can buy a book called Disconnected Kids by Dr. Robert Melillo. He gives a home program for ADHD that makes sense and it is similar to the program he has in his Brain Balance centers except it's free. The other thing is eliminating their allergies to foods. Check out NAET.com for a practitioner near you. Allergies are killing our kids. They cannot tolerate the most basic of foods without a behavioral issue and especially not any food additives, colorings or high fructose corn syrup. Also extremely limit TV and video games from their lives. You will not believe what a difference this will make. If they complain send them outside to play and move their bodies and get some vitamin D from the sun. Occupational therapists (SIPT certified) are also a great thing for these kind of kids. Also get them to an ENT to check tonsils and adnoids that may be so big they are blocking their breathing during sleep. If the brain can't get enough oxygen than it never fully recoops for the next day and the kids are on overload. Get them on a sensory diet of activities that make them nove move move. These children move alot but they are only using superficial muscles not their deep core muscles that connect us to gravity.

The most important thing is what food they eat-check with Fiengold diet- no preservatives, no white flour no white sugar, also WestonPrice has great recommendations for food that helps behaviour.
Anyone who has seen kids after trick or treating knows how food effects behaviour. We cannot let our kids eat fake food and then wonder why they mis behave- the mis behave because they are starving and that is how bodies act when they are missing what is needed to work and grow.
Fiengold has support groups, as does WestonPrice- let them help.
best, k

My son has autism & exhibits ADHD characteristics. Start w/ your kids' school & pediatrician. I am also seeking help from any youth programs that may be available through our church & others. Best of luck to you!

S.,

There is a fabulous book called, "The Gift of ADHD: How to Transform Your Child's Problems into Strengths," by Dr. Lara Honos-Webb. She really wakes the parent up and shows you how to turn a negative label into something special. And it's easy to read!

None of my kids have ADHD, but my daughter's old boyfriend does. I read the book to help with understanding him, as well as some of my coaching clients' issues with their kids. It really helped me see the gift in my daughter's boyfriend and to become an advocate for him. When they broke up he wrote me a letter saying "Thank You" and that for the first time in his life he finally liked himself...all because I had helped him see him for who he is, not how he had been labeled.

Please check out the book. You can get it on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Gift-ADHD-Transform-Problems-Streng... , plus it has an activity book that you can purchase as well.

Good luck!

T. A.
www.TheEnlightenedMom.com

www.naet.com offers a good solution to "eliminate" adhd, read the book related to that and then do the treatments. the whole treatment can cost about 1000$ or a bit more for each child, depends of the practitioner price. practitioners of this therapy are all around USA. You will surpriced how adhd is related to allergies
Good Luck

try to get the children in counseling and with a psychiatrist to discuss various options. create a schedule at home and stick to it. perhaps they are just highly active and creative. get the children involved in sports and lots of activities.

I think I'm a little confused... are you fostering? If not then, the diagnosis is new? (If it's just the dx then they're the same kids, yes?) How old are they? Which behaviors in particular are driving you batty? Which type of adhd?

my mother in law managed her son, my brother in law, through diet. No candy, no junk food, no processed sugars. He did pretty good, and even to this day my husband prefers not to eat sweets since he never got them growing up. (she put the whole family on the same diet). It isnt easy, but it can help with meltdowns and stuff.