Should My 3 Year Old Be Writing Letters?

Absolutely not. I really don't think that kids this young possess the motor skill to successfully write letters. Around 4 1/2 I would start encouraging him to write his own name - upper and lower case letters. This is an important skill he will need for Kinder. Focus on other motor skills - lacing cards, cutting with scissors, gluing cherrios to a paper etc. . . If he shows interest in letters, then encourage the activity and make it fun. Dotting out the letters is a great way to get started. You can also put shaving cream on a cookie tin and let him write letters in it. Lakeshore has a computer software program that gives you fonts that dot the letters out. It is a little pricey ($35) but with 3 kids, I think you will get your money's worth. I also did a lot of letter activities with my kids. Letter of the day, find things around the house will letter "A", gluing beans to a letter B made from construction paper, collages from magazines . . . you get the idea. Also, my 3 year old loves Super Why on PBS. It is a great show and she is learning her letters quickly.

Good luck. You sound like a busy mama.

M. S.

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Get him the Winnie the Pooh video about ABC's. It features Tigger teaching Pooh and Roo to write their letters, and shows some very simple ways to write, e.g., "first go down, and then around." My grandson was under 3 when i showed him this video (I had been teaching him letters for fun since he was under a year, and by the time he was a year he knew them all, and could do phonics by the time he was 2--if you do it as a little game, it's easy! "How does 'moon' start? With 'mmmmmm'--M!"), and the next morning he got up with his chalkboard and was writing, saying, "First go down and then around," and has been writing ever since! Good luck! R.

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Dear R.,

Please stop worrying about his writing skills, give him lots of fun things to do, strengthen your loving acceptance of him, and do art projects WITH him. That is the way to get him to practice using his hands and fingers, then maybe in a year or so he will want to write. Play dough and finger painting and learning to use scissors - make fringe and oh so many other things to do. Go to the library and check out some art books for young children.

I know how you feel, I wanted so much to hear my children's and their children's voices and hear them join in with the singing and fun of talking. I, also, have wanted to see my children's and grand chidren's writing and see them develop that way. It is hard to wait, there are lots of other hard things to wait for or to wait until they are over. Just do not allow yourself to miss any of the glorious moments that are happening right now. They will mature and do all this stuff.

The other day I was watching my 9 month old gr granddaughter as she was expecting her lunch to begin momentarily. She was getting anxious and started thinking how to hurry things up, finally she reached toward my daughter and cupped her hand and took it quickly to her mouth. A baby sign !! How cute and smart !! If I had been cleaning up the dishes instead of watching I would have missed it.

Sincerely, C. N.

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As an early childhood educator and former reading specialist, I would urge you and ALL moms to cease 'teaching' letters and letter sounds to your children under 5. Instead, I would be reading many and varied books, including ABC books to your children. You should first foster a love of reading and literature with your children by enjoying books together, listening to children's music, singing songs, reciting nursery rhymes....etc.. A desire to read and write will naturally emerge....Please stop teaching and begin playing with literacy. Have Fun!
N.
p.s. utilize your library, thrift stores and garage sales

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NO, please don't pressure him. you are way ahead, even if others say they can do it. right now the best you can do is read with him, let him 'read' to you parts of his favorite books (that he's memorized).point out signs like, "look,it says 'stop' s, t, o, p" etc. reading and writing are natural and develop organically.

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Hi R.,
3 1/2 is awfully young to be writing letters. Encouraging him by making it a game is fine but I wouldn't push it. That's a sure way for him to learn to hate writing. It's far more important that he enjoy it at his own pace.

fwiw, learning how to read and write early is not a sign of intelligence. Most kids who learn early either have older siblings who are influencing them, or they just have a natural drive for reading and/or writing, or they have parents that push them. And they usually even out w/others during the school years. imho the bragging rights aren't worth it. He'll be reading and writing for the rest of his life. I think it's far more important to help make sure he enjoys it.

Good luck and enjoy his age! It passes way too quickly.

M.

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Don't worry about it, each child develops at a different rate. As long as you continue to give him the opportunity to practice, he'll get it.

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Hello R.,
I have three children and when they were younger like your kids age they were so eager to write and had the same problems with not wanting to do the letters unless I wrote the dotted lines, so I asked a teacher friend of mine and she gave me the best advice she said that you have to make it fun for them so I would say to them lets do a craft for Grandma I would fold the paper like a card and then ask them what they wanted to say ie: happy birthday, happy grandmas day or I love you, and then I would tell them that the card would be so much MORE special if it came from them and I would write on a seperate sheet of paper the dictation they wanted fold it up and set it in front of them and told them to copy what I have written. They seem to think it so much more fun if you make it into a project and they tend to understand better and my kids would sit there for a while and make the card with there own writing and then they would decorate it with stickers and drawings, then when we would give it to Grandma of course it was such a big deal and grandma would put it on her refridgerator and they feel a sense of accomplishment and they want to do more because it made that person so happy. They were also exited when she would say "did you write this all by yourself ?" the minute the realize that they did all by themselves they will want to do more. Kids need the independance of working by themselves and getting it done in there own way. Hope this helps good luck with your little ones and Happy Writing.
C.

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Hi,
I wouldnt worry much being that he is still young. But some advice i have is my son goes to a Carden School. They have a different way of teaching writing. They start out with all the "C" letters. I cant think of all right now but find all the lower case letters in the alphabet that have a "C" shape in them. Like a,c,d,g,o then when he masters those you can move on to other letters. It works well for our students at Carden. However that is in kindergarten. Like i was reading in the other advice is dont push if he is not ready. The best thing you can do is read books to him. Before you know it he will be reading them to you. There hands that young just arent strong enough to hold a pencil and make the letters. There are many things you can do to build his strength and endurance.

K.

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You shouldn't be worrying about a 3-yr-old writing letters or knowing the sounds. Even if parents push their kids to write and recognize sounds this young (and it is pushing unless your child is highly gifted and wants to do it himself), it doesn't make them do better in school as they get older. The best thing to do is to read picture books to him, then talk to him about what you just read, and ask questions. For example, "What do you think will happen next?" BTW, I teach elementary school.

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Please relax. Children develope interest and abilities at different rates. Don't worry about your son. My child did not write letters or anything else until she was 4 and 1/2 and she turned out to be VERY good at math. Just let him be a little boy, play with toys, etc., and in due time he will do fine I am sure.

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Hi;

As a former first grade teacher, here are some ideas for practicing and learning letters:
1. Get one of those big, tin baking dishes that you use on Thanksgiving to roast the turkey in. Fill it up with sand and have him write his letters in there.
2. Smear some shaving cream on a table (that you don't mind getting messy) and make letters.
3. Use Play Doe to form letters.
4. Buy those plastic letters that go on the refrigerator and while you are making dinner, tell him to show you a certain letter. Ask him "what else starts with that same sound?" (Or you can do this in the bath tub.)

Do NOT stress out over him not being able to write his letters yet. Writing (and reading) is a developmental skill and he will get there. If you pressure him, he may resent it and come to hate it. Just have fun and don't compare him to other kids.

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Seriuosly don't push him. He'll get it when he gets it and if you push him too soon he is going to hate learning. 3 is early for writing but some kids can do it. And just because a child writes at 3, while cool, doesn't mean that child will always write well. My daughter wrote beautifully at 3. Now she is in 3rd grade and we had to ground her because her grade in writing, particularly hand writing, was low. I think she's just been doing it so long that she is getting lazy.

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Thirty years ago, five year olds in kindergarten were just working on socialization and fine motor. Now we are doing this with three year olds. Our expectations of children are perhaps beyond their developmental capabilities. Studies show that reading really clicks in for 7 year olds, but we expect kids to read at 5 now. The children who really become readers at 7 show no signs of delay in comparison to the kids who have been reading since 5 according to a neighbor who is a Phd in ed. and is a literacy specialist. (Check studies regarding the country with the highest rate of literacy - New Zealand. They start guided reading instruction at 7.) Now for my advice for what it is worth...don't push too hard. He will stop liking the activity and it will become a battle. Write letters in sand, shaving cream, in the air, or not at all. Does he really need to write at the age of 3 and 3/4?

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I really think that this culture places way too much emphasis on academic development in the early years. As an educator, I strongly believe that preschool aged children should spend their time PLAYING, inventing, pretending, etc...the academics will come soon enough. I do, however, think there are natural ways to introduce and reinforce letter recognition (pointing out letters on street signs, in the supermarket, in books, etc. etc.). Writing out a child's dictation of a drawing is also a great way for him or her to see that letters form words that tell a story. I don't, however, see that formal letter-writing practice is at all necessary for three-year olds. There are some fun ways for children to refine their fine-motor skills that don't involve worksheets--lacing, drawing, paper folding crafts, using kid scissors are some ideas.

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Oh my gosh, NO! He's way ahead. Whatever you do, follow him; don't push him. He needs to be focusing on mostly socio-emotional and self-regulation development prior to school. The rest will follow if he has a secure foundation. Lakeshore has a bunch of toy-like activities that can improve his fine motor skills. Here's one example. You can also find a lot of these at discountschoolsupply.com http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/seo/ca%7CsearchResults~~...

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It sounds like he's not developmentally ready to write yet. Trying to make him do something he doesn't have the motor skills for will frustrate him. He may not have the patience and focus at this age to take on what he sees as a challenge. At this age he should feel a sense of accomplishment for the letters he can write, and not worry about the ones he can't. Every child's fine motor skills develop at a different speed. I think tracing letters sounds like good practice, but he's still got years before he hits kindergarden and will have to write on a daily basis, a lot of growth and maturing will happen in that time. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just because other 3 year olds are doing it, doesn't mean you should expect it of yours!

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Good Morning Mama R.-

Take a deep breath. Here's what I learned along the way. I have a 14, 8, and 6 year old children. Let your children be individuals. They will learn in their time. If you want to help, make it fun not a chore to have to get done. You are your child's world. How do you want to represent it? When my children were just starting out I would have paper on the table and be a writer.
When they see that you can, they will. Play, play, play!

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is he excited to trace over the dotted lines? does he like writing over the lines? i wouldn't worry about it, but watch him very closely to see how he reacts to writing with the dotted lines. maybe having the lines there, are more exciting and easier right now for him to do. maybe he feel insecure without the lines. or is it just that his interest immediately decreases when he sees there's no dotted lines? don't worry.

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good morning,
your son is fine. in fact, more than fine. and you should watch out that you don't rush him. it can turn into a reading disability later. my son was an early reader/writer and now has a lot of difficulty with it at age 9, as predicted by the learning specialists in books i read.

what's most important are gross motor skills and the relationship to perception ad space. so judging distance of an object in relationship to how fast he is moving--that sort of thing. so, he needs t play and play and play! that will help his reading come along nicely at a pace that is just right for him.

have fun!
-A.

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DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIS LETTER FORMATION AT THIS TIME.
He should still be refining his fine motor skills and will begin to correctly form his letters soon.

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Hi Robin,
I am a kindergarten teacher, don't worry he is fine. It's okay for him not to write freehand, you are doing very good if you are already helping him hold the pencil correctly. I would suggest to make big letters and let him fill them with macaroni or color them. You might do a letter or two, then say "let's practice doing it with a pencil" or something like that. You can also use side walk chalk and let him do it on the cement. just keep in mind that he is young and you do not want to push him to the point he is going to hate writing.

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Dear R.,
My child was like that; she is now graduating high school. I was puzzled also, since her other abilities seemed to be coming along better. She began kindergarten in a class where only 3 could not already sort-a read! The teacher assured me she'd catch up, and she did. Even when she was very small, like your son, she could "draw" in detail, but seemed not real interested in forming alphabet letters properly. Someone told me 3 year olds can't "see" or "do" mentally diagonal lines. Their brains aren't sophisticated enough to do that yet. They just imagine that when you see it, you see what they see. My daughter learned to write in kindergarten, and enjoyed learning it there. She now buys books and is eager to be a math/music major. Praise anything he does with pencil, paper and books, and wait hopefully. Don't pull up the carrots to see if they've grown yet.

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No, not at this time. However if he is interested, then by all means, let him. My son is almost 3 and has some interest as well, he has started writing his name and I can tell you from experience at my daughters preschool (she is 5) they only start writing their names at 4/5 years old. The 4/5 year olds in her preschool class can almost all write their names and only a few actually write more than that. Provide writing tools and paper but I'd leave it at that unless he is asking for help.

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First, loose the dotted line worksheets! Worksheets are the single worst thing for preschoolers. Three year olds can begin to try to write letters, but some don't, and boys usually show less interest until around four. But burn the worksheets! I did one of my child development practicals in a head start class where the teacher insisted that the children do the letter tracing thing, and it does not help- the children who could do it didn't need the dots, and the ones who either can't or don't want to just shut down. I would say either drop the subject entirely- don't bring it up, but any time he draws a picture very slowly and carefully (and in large print) write his name. Once the pressure is off he will be more likely to be interested in doing them independantly.

Similarly, if he uses coloring sheets or coloring books, burn them too- they could be the cause of his being dependant on you to make him worksheets. Coloring books completely stifle creativity and present children with representations of things that they could never recreate, which makes them feel like their own drawings are inferior.

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As an occpupational therapist mommy of a three year old, I can sense where there seems to be an expectation that kids so young already know how to write their numbers. However, there cognitive, motor and spatial skills are really too immature still at this age. So while many preschools emphasize writing and tracing, and some preschoolers master the skill, it is by no means something to expect from your child at this point. Rather, let hime build with legos and blocks, let him color and practice other skills (like getting dressed, eating with a fork and knife). The writing will come! By the way, A, H and T are hard letters to master! Good luck!

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hi there R. :-)
just a thought: maybe he's just not ready. my nephew is in a charter school where they learn as they are ready. he is turning 7 in february and they only started learning letters last year. they are burning through material like crazy - and i think it is because they are developmentally just plain ready. he is lapping it up - no trying to make him do it or anything his class is totally motivated.
i guess it might be hard if you are in a school where it is pushed at an earlier age....
otherwise i wouldn't worry about it. plus every kid is ready for that stuff at different ages.... yet another thing to consider!
hope that helps. warmly, J.

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Relax, he sounds perfectly normal. I taught Pre-K and Kinder for a number of years before having my own 3 kids. Every child goes at his own pace, as you know, and your son sounds like a very typical bright 3-1/2 year old.
This sounds like it MIGHT be about wanting to write the letters perfectly , as opposed to simply not wanting to write. This is common ( in firstborns more than others), and many children just need reassurance that it's ok to get things messy, wrong, or otherwise imperfect. Ask yourself if you use words like "Good job" or "Good try" versus telling him how he can do it better. We so often inadvertantly put pressure on our kids by saying "this one is perfect!" or "that's the best ever!" Instead, try to keep your critiques low-key and casual.
Use the dots sometimes, ask him to draw the dots for you sometimes, and find creative ways to get him to write some letters here and there. A few ideas we've used: Get him his own notebook (let him pick out the kind he wants- lined is better, but anything will work at this stage). Also get some good colored pencils with erasers. Ask him to help you make lists. For example, you might say over breakfast, "Honey, can you help me make a list for the store?" And then help him spell a few simple words. Groceries, baby needs, laundry items, dinner ingredients,toys he likes, TV shows....
If he wants to just use the first letter, that's fine. And always let him know that you appreciate the help. Don't even mention the shape or condition of his letters- it's not important. What is important is that he begin getting comfortable with writing. Don't press it though, he's still young, and many children don't get interested until closer to 5.
Good luck with your new little one!

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