Should I Push the Swim Lessons?

I would definitely push the lessons...maybe even private lessons. We live in Florida so there is water all around. It is a safety issue and a necessity. Just think of all of the pool parties that she will be unable to attend. You cannot watch her every second as she gets older and gets involved in school functions. This is something that she needs to know...bribe her if you have to...I think that this is THAT important!

5 moms found this helpful

I'm a firm believer in the idea that "safety" is not a negotiable category. If she doesn't learn to swim, she will not be able to swim for "fun" and there is a serious safety concern here.

If you can swing it, consider private lessons. While they are pricier, the instructor can "push" her more without your daughter feeling embarassed in front of her peers. I would also suggest that you not be right there while she's in her lessons. She may be more compliant with a teacher than with you.

4 moms found this helpful

Swimming is a safety issue. Push the swimming lessons. Get a private teacher if you have to. Drop her off with the teacher and leave. She will be much better if you aren't there. If you save her from the lessons, you aren't helping... you are actually part of the problem. Sometimes the kids just have to be made to do something - be it jump off the diving board or put their faces in.
Have her practice putting her face in the water in the bathtub.
Have her blow bubbles in the bathtub.
I taught swimming lessons for years, and I'll be honest, there were a few times where children were ready to swim but were just whining to hear themselves whine. I'd push them towards the wall and tell them to swim - trust me, they were never out of my reach. They swam. They did it! I'd tell them how proud I was of them and they'd get all puffed up... They were mad, but they were glad, too! That was usually all it took for them to build a little confidence... Those 2 strokes to the wall was just the beginning!
As much as she hates swimming lessons, she's got to do it. I'd make this a non-negotiable item. "You will go to swimming. You will learn how to swim with your face in the water. When you pass level 3 of swim lessons you can quit." Pick a level that you are comfortable with - the skills are such that you won't have to worry about water safety as much - and so that she has a goal.
My daughter has a friend - 10th grader - who can't swim. He can't participate in a lot of the activities the others do - like go to the pool and the water parks and such because he can't swim. Not fun!!
Make her do it.
LBC

3 moms found this helpful

The one extra-curricular activity that was not negotiable and that my daughter was not allowed to quit was swimming lessons. We live near water, and spend a good bit of time near the water, and I felt that knowing how to tread water and swim was a necessary survival skill.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm usually all for, not pushing a child in to something that they are not comfortable with but swimming is a different story. It's a saftey hazard to not know how to swim, it's not the same as signing her up for something like softball. She will be afraid, but that is not going to change until she learns how to swim. I'm in the same boat. My daughter will be six in April, and she still does not know how to swim. She will be doing lessons all this summer though until she can.

3 moms found this helpful

Swimming is important. I say push it, with you trying to work on her at the same time as the lessons. I suggest the hot tub too...something about the warm water and the small confined space, its just not as scary to many kids...and at 6 I bet she could stand in the middle of most hot tubs and the water would reach up to her neck....which would be ideal for getting her used to putting her head under water.

~It is hard knowing how hard to push and when not to...but I bet as her Mom you know her limits the best...you and daddy will probably have the best results at getting her to conquer her fears ;)

3 moms found this helpful

Swimming is a very important skill to have and I would give up on the lessons. The fears she has probably won't just go away with age.

As someone that used to teach kids to swim at a summer camp, the ones that were really afraid seemed to do much better when they had one on one attention in the water. I would suggest if you can do private lessons until she is comfortable enough for group lessons. And depending how scared she is I would see if the teacher would allow you to take the class with her. It might make her more at easy and she might be more likely to do things if you are doing them too right there with her.

3 moms found this helpful

Personally, I think swim lessons are very important. I have always wanted my kids to be able to at least get to the side of the pool and be able to get out in case they ever fall in.

Maybe you could get in the water with her?? Would that help? Or do private lessons?

2 moms found this helpful

I can say I know exactly how your daughter feels because that was me as a little girl! Your last paragraph describes me to a tee! We lived by the beach and my mom put me in swim lessons at age six at a local indoor pool. I don't think we made it through all of the lessons. I remember feeling sick to my stomach with fear, crying, and begging her to not make me take the lessons. Eventually I did learn how to swim, but my Mom taught me! No, she wasn't an instructor or anything, but she just started with the basics of floating and moved on to the doggy paddle and then eventually I learned to swim. I'm guessing I was around 8 or so. I remember being so deathly afraid and my Mom holding on to the back of my bathing suit straps as I tried floating on my tummy in the pool. Eventually with more and more time spent in the pool it eased my fears and I grew to love to swim and enjoy the water.

2 moms found this helpful

Have you ever taken her (just you and her) to a calm pool where she can stand on the steps? Take a couple of cute dive toys or "coins" and ask her to bend down in and pick them up off the bottom. You just keep dropping them on lower steps until she has to squat in the water and put her head under to reach them. Make it a game and REWARD her when she gets something from the bottom. Let her get used to the feel and the idea of being under water. Once she does get used to that, and is more comfortable, then you can enroll her in another class. But until she does complete a class and can swim, "sorry honey, we can't go to the pool. It is dangerous if you can't swim."

Another thing you could try is get her a cheap underwater camera and ask her to take some underwater photos.

2 moms found this helpful

My daughter was the same excat way. We got her a mask that held her nose and the water would not get in her eyes and then she was under water a ton. Now this year she will go in the water without the mask.

Good luck, it is very important to learn to swim.

2 moms found this helpful

This is sooo tough. As I believe that swimming is a life skill that everyone should possess.

Find out WHY she's afraid of water. Ask her WHY she doesn't want to put her face under water? It could be a simple solution - as it bothers her ears, she can't "see" - does she need goggles?

Any time and every time you take her to the pool and she gets in YAY!! For her!! Give her the encouragement she needs - maybe it would help if you were in the pool with her? Does she see you swim? if not - maybe she needs to!!

have a talk with the swim teachers - there are plenty of ways to work around the fear and they HAVE to be advised of the situation!

2 moms found this helpful

My girl is the same way, very cautious.

Completely agree with "Tedsmommy L" and I rarely push, but I told my girl that this was a "have to." We live at the beach and are around too many pools for her not to learn the basics of swim. I found a place that goes at my daughter's pace (private lessons) while pushing her just a bit further than she thought she could go. They also make it FUN. I take pics, then later show them to her and talk about her bravery and courage.

Like I said, very few have to's but this, to me, is like holding hands when crossing the street.

Take good care,
J.

2 moms found this helpful

Yes, I would push the lessons. Swimming is something that everyone should know how to do. You never know when she may need to know how to save her life or a friend's life. If she is that terrified of going under water I would suggest private lessons and some goggles. Have you asked why she doesn't want to go under water? Does she put her head under the water in the bathtub?

You can also tell her that many people swim with their heads above the water! The front crawl, back stroke, doggy style, and breast stroke you can keep your head above the water very easily. Encourage and push her you never know when she may need to save her own life or a friend's.

2 moms found this helpful

In this situation, forcing her to take the lessons could really increase her fear. I think you should just take her to shallow pools or beaches for fun, and let her learn to love the water naturally, at her own pace. She'll learn to swim that way.

2 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't push right now. Try practicing in the tub with the going under water/face in the water.

1 mom found this helpful

My kids struggled with fears.. then I decided to get private lessons.. best thing ever.. cofidence builder! Would she be more comfortable with a woman instructor? My mom did privatte lessons for me when I had fears as a child.. I life guarded during college. My dd now 8yrs old just made swim team.. I swear by private lessons.

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe she would not be so afraid if you stayed there near her during the lesson. If you already do that, you could teach her yourself until she gets more comfortable in the water. You might even be able to teach her the doggy paddle. Maybe that would give her some confidence. Good Luck :)

1 mom found this helpful

I struggled with this with my youngest son. It was so hard for me to decide what to do because I simply didn't understand his fear. I am a natural swimmer and played water polo in college. We live in Texas and are in the water every day for 5 months of the year. My oldest son is a fish. I needed my youngest to know how to swim for his own safety, but he was terrified of going under water.

I always scheduled swimming lessons in the winter so that ideally my boys would be able to swim in the summer. C (my youngest) loved the water, but hated deep water, and refused to put his face in. When he was 5 years old, he developed a major fear of putting his face in the water and began to freak out before his swimming lessons. I didn't know if I should stop taking him or not. He was in a small class, only 4 students total. I talked to the director at the swim school about it, and they set up private lessons for a few weeks. It worked like magic! After an instructor worked with him one on one for 3 or 4 weeks (once a week), C became completely comfortable with the water and started swimming on his own. Now he's almost 7 and he swims like a fish. If you can find someone to do private lessons, I would try that. Good luck! :)

1 mom found this helpful

My suggestion, if you have the time, would be to show and teach her yourself. That way, she doesn't have to build trust with her instructor, the other children AND water. The first step would be to help her grow comfortable in the water and to show her that she can overcome her fears - particularly of putting her head in the water. That can be done slowly and through fun, games and laughter. The second step would be blowing bubbles, floating and kicking. Finally, you would teach her to put it all together with technique. In my experience, parents can much more easily teach their children than a stranger can, because trust already exists. Also, as parents, we know how to make our kids giggle and have a good time which is a crucial element in learning to swim - at least in the way I was taught and teach. I understand though, that might not be a viable option, considering that you might work, have other children, a home, etc. Just thought I would throw it out there in case! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I wouldn't push it if it's scaring her that much. I would just teach her myself at her own pace. Let her take it slow with what is comfortable with her. My daughter just turned 5 & she hasn't learned to swim yet either. I'm hoping to make some progress this year!

Last year she decided on her own to try to put her face in the water. "Look! Watch me Mommy!" She started out, holding onto the ladder, and just put her mouth underwater for a second & was so proud! Then she held her nose & got her mouth and nose under water. I encouraged her, did it with her, and told her how proud I was. A couple time she made it to holding her nose, closing her eyes & getting her whole face under. I did not push her to do any of it, I tell her to do what she is comfortable with.

Oh, forgot to add that my brother, sister & I took lessons together when we were young. HORRIBLE experience! The lady was awful and all I learned to do was hold the ladder & blow bubbles in the water... lol Dad ended up teaching me later to "doggy paddle". I'm not an expert swimmer today, but I won't drown!

1 mom found this helpful

I agree private lessons might be the answer, but also just time in the water with you for fun will help too. It doesn't have to be a lesson time, but just a time to float around and get used to the water. My kids have learned more during these times than during lessons. Also, a reward for really trying something scary might be helpful. That way she's focused more on the end result than the fear. Good luck.

Our daughter is what I call a cautious observer. Swim lessons were very hard for her. It took quite a while before she consistently got in the water without clinging to me for half the lesson. In general she is cautious about new situations and changes in her routine throw her off. It has taken her very small successful steps to get better about this and we haven't pushed her for the most part. I agree with you that it is very hard to know when to push and when not to.

I would try to find a place that offers a low instructor to child ratio. The place we take our kids is 3 kids to 1 teacher, and it starts very slowly with the first level including blowing bubbles in a "bubble bowl" (a bowl with a straw attached to it) so their face isn't even in the water yet. Structured lessons combined with recreational "play" swimming with you can do wonders for swimming as a skill.

We also went through a phase where my daughter (and son) weren't really progressing much at swimming and they started saying they didn't want to do it anymore. This is when I pushed. I told them that swimming was a life skill that they had to learn and if they didn't want to do it anymore they needed to focus in class and learn how to do it so they could stop going. I didn't give them an option of lessons being recreational and a choice.

My daughter LOVES swimming now and wants to be a swim teacher when she grows up... and she's really good at it. Keep supportively encouraging your little one... she'll get there!