Should I Give Up? Breastfeeding Difficulties

Updated on April 02, 2007
A.A. asks from Olathe, KS
12 answers

I have a week old baby girl. Throughout my pregnancy, I felt confident in my choice to breastfeed, but since coming home from the hospital, breastfeeding has been stressful. Since coming home, my baby has lost weight but is slowly regaining it. The doctor suggested supplementing breastfeeding with bottle-feeding breastmilk, but I tried to pump, and after 30 minutes, I only got a teaspoon of breastmilk. I've begun formula because I thought it would surely provide her with nutrition and prevent further stress. Am I giving up too soon on breastfeeding?

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V.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Yes you are giving up too soon. If you haven't alreay call Le Leche there are several groupd in Olathe/south Overland Park.

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T.S.

answers from Kansas City on

First of all, please do not feel like a failure if you do not decide to continue. Breastfeeding is a total commitment.

Pumping does not nearly give you as much milk as the baby can suck from your breast.

I would say drink a LOT of water. More than you normally would. I would also say, let the baby eat as often as possible, the more the baby nurses the more your hormones stayed peaked... therefore telling your body to make more milk.

Only after a week of trying, your body still is establishing how much milk to produce, therefore your milk technically has not come in full.

When I breastfed, I allowed my baby to nurse for thirty minutes a side, and he ate every two hours... if not more. It was exhausting... but got easier.

You are gonna do great no matter what you chose... dont let this stress you... that can slow your production as well.

Much Luck to you!!!

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

You've gotten some good advice. I wanted to reiterate that it's okay either way you decide. I beat myself up for a long time about not being able to make it work, kept thinking "if only I'd tried another week" - but bottom line, my son was healthy and fine.

My 1st son was a sleepy baby and never would latch on. He's 11, so this was the drive-thru delivery era, and they kicked us out as soon as our 24 hours up - never mind that he hadn't latched on yet and that I could barely walk because I'd been torn all the way up through the vaginal wall. We got home and changed a diaper and found what looked like blood in his diaper - more like red dust. Called the hospital and they said it was ureaic (sp) acid and it meant he was dehydrated. I was desperate to nurse him, but my husband was not hormonally driven and was able to think straight. I didn't even have any bottles in the house because i was so determined, but fortunately they had sent home some prepared sample bottles. I remember just sitting there sobbing as my husband fed him. We rented a hospital grade breast pump and I pumped round the clock for 2 weeks. I got up to where I was producing about 1/4 of his total intake when I finally saw blood spraying through the pump into the bottle. My husband and my sister-in-law convinced me that I needed to stop - I was missing time with my son by concentrating on my milk. I stopped cold-turkey and never even swelled at all. There just wasn't anything there.

Bottom line is I missed a lot of those first 2 weeks because I was so focused and determined.

My 2nd son latched on great, and we spent most of the 1st week in the double recliner with him latched on nearly 24/7. I got through the incredibly sore nipple period, but then he started having dry diapers. My sister-in-law took my older son with her to spend the night so I could spend 24 hours completely focusing on getting my milk to come in. I fed the baby and then pumped every 2 hours, and still nothing. So I made him a bottle, and the first time in his short life I got that satisfied "ahh I'm full" smile from him. If I hadn't had another child, I might have been able to make it work with another week of pumping and nursing, but I had to make a decision that was right for BOTH of my kids, and I don't regret it.

Another thing - I know there are all those studies about ear infections and intelligence and all that, but let me share this. My 2 sons were formula fed, my neighbors 2 sons breastfed. My first son had 1 ear infection the first year, my 2nd son had 2 or 3. Her first son had no ear infections the first year, her second son had constant ear infections the first year. We both have one son that was always constipated and one that filled several diapers a day. So formula or breast milk doesn't really seem to have been a factor on our street.

AND - My grandmother had 3 children. My mom was the oldest, and she was nursed. My grandmother says she got pregnant with #2 while still nursing my mom, which she thinks is why her milk would not come in with #2(maybe maybe not). So my uncle received raw cow's milk from birth, thanks to a caring neighbor who made sure they had a fresh supply every day. The next uncle came along a few years later and was breastfed. Of the 3 - my mother developed diabetes at age 26, the youngest uncle developed high blood pressure in his early 20's and diabetes in his 40's and recently had a leg partially amputated due to diabetes. The middle child - the one with cow's milk - was the healthiest of all of them. Granted, he has been diagnosed with diabetes in the past few years, but he's in his 70's now.

Oh - and the breastmilk/IQ connection - it might affect a point or two, but my older son just scored in the top 2% on the tests at school, and I was always in the top 2% on those as well.

And the teeth thing - my boys are 8 and 11, and the older one had the beginnings of a cavity on the surface of one of his molars last year, but other than that perfect teet. I know lots of breastfed babies with mouths full of fillings.

I always treated the bottle like the breast - they couldn't walk around with it, I snuggled them and made eye contact, and - after learning the hard way from developing bursitis in one shoulder - switched sides during feedings.

Your baby will be fine, and you will be too. (sorry for the novel)

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N.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
Congradulations on your new baby girl. Don't give up. It will get better. The first month is the hardest. If you can get through that you will be fine. Just set little goals for yourself. a week here and there. What kind of pump do you have? I think the medela is the best and is worth the money. but if you need to supplement with formula at least she is getting some breastmilk. gook luck.

i am a mother of 2 (2year old girl and 5 month old boy) we live in lenexa and moved here from ny 2 years ago.

if you need any one to talk to feel free to email or call ###-###-####.

N.

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M.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I tried with all three of my kids. My youngest was in the hospital for the first month, and I tried pumping and taking milk to the hospital, but soon realized that I just do not produce enough breast milk. I think I was half starving my oldest until I switched to formula. I really wanted to experience breastfeeding w/my children, however, it didn't work for me. They have all grown up just fine without. Don't stress yourself. If it's not working, try something else. Your daughter and you will both be better off.

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A.Y.

answers from Kansas City on

A.-

Please do not give up so soon. I have a one month old baby girl and had trouble in the first week, too (we're doing so well now). It is NORMAL for a baby to lose weight after birth (usually no more than 13%), and it is NORMAL to not pump a lot at first (I got SO frustrated the first few times I tried).

The trick is to get the latch right. Please find good help. Go to a La Leche League meeting or find someone who is trained to help (lactation consultant/nurse). I don't have an official title, but I have training through my pediatric chiropractic coursework and as a doula. You are welcome to use me as a resource (you can call my office at ###-###-####)... either personally or to point you in the direction of someone locally who can help.

Formula provides some nutrition, but not nearly what breastmilk does. I completely understand your frustration, but know that for many of us it can take 4-8 weeks to really get things going. That seems like a long time, but it is so important to your baby's health.

If you're into reading, "The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers" by Dr. Jack Newman is a tremendous resource. I also have a DVD of his that demonstrates how to get a good latch, and I would be happy to share it with you.

Please call me or write back if you have any questions.

Yours in health-
Dr. Alyssa

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J.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I'll agree with what the other moms have passed along to you.
Hang in there if it is something you really want to do. I had similar problems - and now my boy is almost 5 months old. I still breastfeed and supplement with formula. It would have been so easy to quit, but I figured I could do it. My first goal was 2 weeks (a class I went to said to set 2 weeks as your goal - I thought she was crazy - maybe she really meant 2 months - then after the first few days I knew why they said to set 2 weeks as your goal - so it was something that could get you through if you really wanted to do it). Then, despite the issues of not enough milk production, etc., I got used to the idea that my baby gets just a little breast milk and all the rest is formula. If you need help, call your doctor and ask for a lactation specialist. They can help with any issues you have and most of all provide encouragement.
You have to do what is right for YOU. Take care of yourself and get some rest whenever you can!

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R.H.

answers from Kansas City on

A., are you actually going to stop breastfeeding all together or are you asking about doing the supplemental feeding and not exclusively breastfeeding.

It can be very difficult for many women in the beginning. Do you have a lactation consultant that could come by? Many times the hospitals have them and they could come by to help you. I have also had experience on both ends. I breastfed my son for a year (and yes there were times I did have to supplement) I also help friends with breastfeeding. They found it very helpful.

If you really want to keep at it, I would say keep doing it and supplement if need be. It won't hurt your baby girl and you will get the satisfaction of still nursing. (If you want to continue with it). It could be that you just aren't producing a lot of milk right now. But the more you nurse, the more milk you will produce.

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M.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Have you contacted the hopital which you delivered in? They have a lactation consultant that can help you. They can give you suggestions for latching positions, getting your baby "ready to nurse", diet suggestions and such.
I had a c-section and was on pain medication which suppreseed my milk supply slightly, and my children were both jaundiced meaning I had to supplement after breast feeding. After 2 weeks I discontinued supplementing and some days my breasts felt "over full". Take your time and don't stress over it. The first weeks are the most difficult. Talking to a lactation consultant was the best thing I ever did, so hopefully they can help you as well. Good luck to you and remember that this decision is yours alone so don't let anyone disuade you or make you feel uncomfortable about a decision as personal as this. You will still bond and be the best mother you can be to your baby weather she is breast OR bottle fed. All my best, M.

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M.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I very much agree with what both Teresa and Farah have said. My son also lost weight, but then started slowly gaining it back. We went for "weight checks" twice a week, which was stressful, as I was always worried I'd get bad news.
Do what you can: pump, supplement if she seems hungry, and nurse her. If she seems satisfied from nursing, she's doing ok. The more "action" your breasts get, the more you'll start producing.
But, in the end, if it proves too stressful or doesn't work out, DO NOT beat yourself up, feel guilty, or let others make you feel bad. I tried and tried and ultimately gave up after 10 weeks. The final straw was sitting there pumping and noticing blood coming from my cracked, bruised nipples. I just thought, "Enough. This isn't working". For some mothers it works wonderfully and they never want to stop. For some of us, it just isn't in the cards.
Hang in there!!!

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F.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.!

I breast-fed my children. Sometimes your milk doesn't come in right away. Mine took around 10 days to fully "let down". Babies will loose weight alot of times right after birth, most of the time it is normal.
Stress can prevent your milk from not fully coming in too. Just relax and know that no matter your decision, (breastfeeding or not), your baby will be fine.
I had a hard time the first two weeks, due to the pain of nursing. My doctor, at that time, didn't advise me to use certain creams and ointments. So I suffered through my nipples cracking and bleeding at times... But, after the two weeks, there wasn't anymore of that. So I was very thankful.
Hang in there! Keep trying the pump. The electric ones are much better than the manual ones. Oh, the more often you do it, the more milk you will produce.
I would call your doctor if you don't see a change in another week.
I sure hope that helps.

Take Care,
F. M.
Olathe, KS

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A.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Sounds like me with my first! I am now breastfeeding my third child who is 6 months old. Of all the pregnancy, labor, delivery and child-rearing...BREASTFEEDING is the most difficult. If you can stick with it, then do it. The more you supplement the less she will want you. It's all supply and demand, and some babies just gain weight at different rates and don't follow the pediatrician's guidelines. It's OKAY! Is she having wet and poopy diapers? I did supplement with cup...or maybe it was finger feeding. If you supplement with formula with a bottle, she's going to realize how much easier it is to get it from a bottle and not want you. If anything, feed her then pump afterwards. You won't get much (especially at one week!) but the stimulation of your breasts will cause them to make more. I don't know where you delivered, but call them and ask if they have lactation consultants. Meet with them! They will have you come in, do a weight check, have you feed on one side, weight check, then feed on the other side with another weight check. That way you can actually see how much she's getting. They will also give you any suggestions they may have. It all comes together around 4-6 weeks and you'll be happy that you stuck with it. Did you know that you automatically burn ###-###-#### calories per day just by breastfeeding? And the cost isn't bad, either! By the way, what kind of pump are you using?

Sorry this is long-winded and jumbled. As I mentioned, I have 3 kids and this is the way I think these days!

Good luck!

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