Should He Go to Preschool?

I am a big fan of quality preschools. Kids can learn a lot at home, yes, but what a good preschool should give them is not just ABCs and 123s but socialization and group activity skills that are vital for kindergarten.

A child has to enter kindergarten knowing how to listen to and obey an adult who is not a parent; how to sit and listen to a story etc. for a certain period of time; how to stop doing one activity and move to another activity when told to do so, without pouting or balking or melting down; how to interact (as well as possible) with kids who are not siblings; how to move from place to place in a group of kids safely and as quietly as needed -- not always silently, though!

I think the experience of being in a school-like setting, with new children, with adults who are not mom and dad, for more than an hour or so at time, is important preparation for kindergarten. Preschool also can help you figure out if there are any issues you need to address before kindergarten, too, like reluctance to change activities, or separation issues, or vision or hearing issues, and more.

Look at your finances and see if the sacrifices elsewhere in your budget are worth it. Each family has to make the choice, and not going to preschool does not mean he will be "behind" when he starts kindergarten by any means, but I do think it is a big help in preparing them for being away from mom in a school setting.

Especially if your area has required, full-day kindergarten, it will be much easier for him to enter full-day K if he is already used to half-day preschool, rather than starting full-day K cold turkey after being at home. I know other parents feel differently but that's my take. Good luck!

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Both of my kids absolutely LOVED preschool. I sent them for no other reason than this. Not to get them "socialized" not for them to "learn" but because they loved it. And it added a wonderful structure and schedule to our week that was great for all of us. And we met a lot of great friends for them and for me. So, I say go for it.

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UPDATE: I just read the article Birdie posted and I would encourage you to read it in its entirety b/c it is a "literature review" article, not an empirical study. The overall impression of the authors is quite positive and they essentially say that there is a lack of genuine research (meaning a "test group" that is separate from a "control group") to draw definitive conclusions. Also, please note- IQ is a concept that is derived from extensive sources... family economic status, parental education/language skills, heritable factors and early language development to name a few. No psychologist worth their "salt" will assure the stability of an IQ assessed before age 8. I have worked with children whose IQ scores fluctuate as many as 20 standard score points depending on many factors within a 3 year period.

He will love it and it is absolutely worth the money!

Candidly, most kids attend some kind of preschool program and that's where they start "learning how to learn" in a school-like setting. They learn about group activities, cooperative play, being part of a learning community, following directions, etc. It's a wonderful experience and it will help him once he gets to Kindergarten. When I was working as a psychologist in an elementary school, I could spend 5 minutes in a Kindergarten class and pick-out who didn't attend preschool (not a judgment, just a fact).

Two days a week is perfect, especially as a transition b/w "full time home" and "full time school". I think you'll be very happy in the end!

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I have 4 kids. We never did preschool, and they were all ahead of their peers when they started kindergarten.

Every family is different. Do what feels right for your family, not for anyone else's family. Either way, people will tell you that you should have done it differently.

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go for the preschool. They offer things you can't at home, like interaction and social learning with other kids his age. It's different at home. You can still do all that you want at home, but this will help in some ways that you can't. Go for it!!

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I am in the same situation. I eventually decided not to send her this year and wait until she's 4. Not saying that's what you should do. I was originally going to send her, and my husband was willing, but I could see he has been stressing about paying down our debt and we're already spending $500 a month on sending our older children to Catholic school, so I decided to lighten the burden on him and wait. Then he can use that $150 that pre-school costs here to get us out of debt sooner.

With my oldest son, who also has a summer birthday, we sent him to 4-year old pre-school for 2 years. 3 days a week the 1st year and 5 days a week the 2nd year. It worked out great for us because he just wasn't ready for kindergarten. And he'll still graduate at 18 like everyone else. I remember seeing a pediatrician on tv a few years back who recommended a child be a full 5 and a half before starting kindergarden because she said most kids aren't quite ready until then. Not saying your child won't be, just passing along info. Some kids do just fine.

I think some people don't even realize they have the option is all. I know a few people that would have waited if they had known they could because their child really struggled through kindergarden- not necessarily academically, but they had a hard time with the long day and adjusting to the new expectations on them.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best :)
BTW for the mom who didn't see the value in pre-school, the difference the
teachers see is emotional readiness, not just academic. It's hard for children to suddenly have to be away from home for a full school day when they've never had experience being away even for short periods of time. They also benefit from social readiness with pre-school. It may even out by 3rd grade, but they still have to get through the years before that. Also, missing a year with your child? They're only gone a few days a week for a couple of hours. Sorry about my rant, but I just couldn't let it go :)

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I don't think there is any disadvantage to sending a child at 3 to a preschool, only advantages. That being said, I did not send my oldest until she was 4 and am doing the same thing for my youngest. My oldest is doing just fine in Kindergarten and one year of preschool was sufficient enough.

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If you can squeeze the funds out of somewhere, then yes, send him. You don't HAVE to, but know that 2-3 years of preschool is what is needed to be considered "Kindergarten ready. " But if you don't send him, he'll catch up. So either way you'll be fine. But he will LOVE it. And you'll like the break.

I sent my daughter to a school that was very inexpensive (at a church) and the curriculum was fantastic - so don't feel like you need to spend a fortune. A little goes a long way in a 3 year old program.

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Question, will you be sending him to K as soon as he meets the age requirement? You said he has a summer birthday, so I assume he will be a young five if he starts on schedule. I ask because boys mature a little slower than girls and my husband and I are having to make decisions about our child who is ready for K (he is reading and doing basic math), but at the advice of his pre-k teacher (she taught k in public schools for 20 years), we will be putting him in a private K setting this year and evaluating at the end of the year whether he is mature enough to move on to 1st grade or will repeat K. If you plan to start him on schedule, I would really advise a preschool setting asap so he is emotionally and socially prepared for the K experience.

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Okay, well to me there are a lot of factors here. First, do you plan to send him to K when he turns 5? He will be one of the young ones and although it's normal for him to go, many parents of boys are keeping them at home an extra year to mature. It's pretty common with boys and kids having summer birthdays. If you're going to send him, then I'd probably go ahead and send him to preschool this year. Since he will be on the younger side in K I think it would benefit him to have 2 years of preschool under his belt. If you think you might hold him back then I would probably just start preschool next year.

If he's very social and knows his letters, or at least most of them, and can count to 20 then, stuff like that... you could consider keeping him home and just sending him for 1 year of preschool. It's a lot to consider I think, but you can't feel guilty about it either way! If you don't send him then I would look into a Mother's Day Out that he could go to once a week, it will cost less and still give him important socialization and classroom like setting experience!

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Since he would only go two days a week I would send him. That way when it increases next year it will be more like a stepping stone towards Kindergarten. It will help tremendously to give him that socialization with other kids his age.

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I am so glad we sent our son. It was hard at first, being away from Mommy, strange environment, new people. It was so good for him. At some point they need to learn how to be away from Mommy, how to get along with other kids without Mommy there to run iterferance, how to follow rules and recognize authority. I thought it was great that it was 2 mornings a week and thats all. It was a great way to ease him into this idea of school. Also, in our school district Kindergarten is all day. I really didn't want him to go from all day with me to all day at school.

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I would send him. My daughter goes 2 days a week as a 3 year old (also a summer birthday) and will go 3 days as a 4 year old and then start kindergarten as a 5 year old 5 days a week/full days. I think it is a good transition, works on social interaction, sharing, listening to someone other than mom/dad, colors, letters, writing, etc. Our daughter loves "school". We have an au pair that stays home with our kids so similar situation of spending double the money and having someone home just with the smaller children during the time she is in preschool....but I think it is worthwhile. Best wishes with whatever you decide!

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From my own experience, I'd say to let him go. Our situation is different, but it was THE best thing we could have done for our 3 yd old son. A good program is so much more than just a day care type situation. Our son was learning stuff at 3 yrs. old.

He is in Kindergarten now, and so much more is expected of them than when we were this age. I definitely was not writing in K, but my son is starting to read and write from now. It's done with play, and the usage of games to get them to be interested in it. The older grades will not operate this way.

Preschool prepares the kids for this... for learning in K. and with a bit of play set in there. Why not let him prepare and have the love of learning instilled in him for the next two years?.... This is just my opinion. Everyone is different.

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From an early childhood teacher's perspective-- preschool is where children learn important social and emotional skills that will help prepare them for being in school. Children learn about routines, develop self-help skills, learn how to solve problems and resolve conflicts with peers, and most importantly- develop a lifelong love for learning. It should be a fun place that your child can have that is his own- something that is separate from mom, dad and siblings.

There is a HUGE difference between they way 3 and 4 year olds learn, and if your child is able to attend 2 years of preschool, it certainly would be beneficial. I think 2 mornings a week is perfect for 3 year olds!

Most (if not all) programs re-enroll current families before enrolling new families, so if there is a high demand, your child might not get in as a 4 year old. That shouldn't be the reason you put your child in a program as a 3 year old, however, but that is how enrollment works.

A lot of parents want to keep their children home so they can spend as much time as possible with them before they send them off to school "full time" and there is a lot to be said for that. But it IS true that a teacher can walk into a Kindergarten and can tell which children have had prior school experience- it isn't so much the academics, but the social piece that stands out.

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I say send him. My son turned 3 in Sept. and I sent him in Sept. He loves it. Its only 2 days a week for 2.5 hrs at a time. Look around and different schools too, because the price can vary greatly. We couldn't afford much, but I refused to settle on something that wasn't great. I was able to find a school we love and that we could afford. My son has a great time and gets to learn and do all sorts of things. I do a lot with him at home too. I think you will be really happy if you send him.

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All three of my kids went to pre-school at 3. It was only two days a week, for 2 1/2 hours. Then the following year it was 3 days a week for the same length of time.

They had a blast, I had a break, it was well worth the money.

:)

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I'm probably not putting my daughter in preschool this fall. She will also be 3 in late summer. If you do preschool, I agree to start small with just a few days a week.

Have you talked to the programs that require you to start at 3? What are they looking for? Preschool is helpful but not mandatory for kindergarten. I have a printout of what the district is looking for DD to know before she's 5. Putting her in preschool for me would be more about social interaction and learning to take more direction from others without me and working with other kids in a class than education (my mom teaches preschool and says DD is ahead of some of her 3s already).

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http://government.cce.cornell.edu/doc/pdf/86-100%20barnet...
the attached article is wordy, so if you want to skip to the chase read the section on long term benefits of early education. There are no clear studies showing that early education has any benefit to IQ or even graduation rates. In fact, the benefits of early education wear off around 3rd grade. In other words, children who do not participate in early education catch up to those who did by third grade. Hope that takes the pressure off you. And by the way, if you really want to send him to preschool for a mommy break and for him to make friends and have fun structure during the day- great! I think that works well for some families. But sounds like you do great with your kids at home if thats what you want to continue.

My opinion is that preschool is for working moms, or SAHM's looking for a parenting break. If what you want is to keep him home with you , then all the better. Sure he'll have a tougher adjustment if he starts later than his friends, but he'll have that time with you and siblings, which is invaluable! Once they start school, they are gone, so if what you want is to have him at home with you, then don't even worry about what other moms are doing. I so don't buy into the notion that preschool will have anything to do with their long term success in school. Long term success in school has to do with strong families, not learning early reading (which by the way you are perfectly capable of teaching him yourself).
As for the argument that you can tell which kids had preschool and which ones didn't: who the h--- cares. So it makes the teacher's job a little easier to have "kindergarden ready" students and makes the transition to school easier for the kid. So what! Is it really worth giving up that year with your child? What is more valuable to you?

I think it depends largely on the personality of the child, but I would say to send him if you can. He will get more benefit than you realize and it will help him when he goes to kindergarten.
The community that I'm in is very academically focused and LOTS of people here send their kids to preschool at 2. But in my experience, the kids I see in my daycare are usually much better suited to wait until close to three or three and a half. It's a great stepping stone to kindergarten, particularly if he's not been in any care environment other than home.

Good luck! I think you'll find the sacrifices are worth it!

We are in the same camp ourselves, our daughter will be 3 in april, however, she has been in full time daycare since she was 3 months old. We went to the preschool open house and heard the same thing (the 3 YOs previously enrolled get preference over the 4 YOs entering).

What we have heard is that enrolling at 3 is best for children who have been at home without daycare or group socialization, it helps them get acclimated to dealing with other children better. Those who have been "socialized" so to speak, it's fine but not as necessary, OK to wait till they are 4, but going in at K level is too late, as the children aren't familiar with the school, rules, and teachers so it's more stressful.

The fact that it would only be 2 days a week, in your case I would go for it. It's a good introduction to socialization, but the bulk of the time is still with you in your care.

Our only choice (as we both work) is full time preschool, so we personally are not because we'd like our daughter to play and learn (she is reaching all her milestones in daycare), and will enroll her when she is 4, as there will be plenty of school for many years to come.

good luck!