Sharing Room or Separate Rooms?

Updated on January 06, 2009
K.C. asks from Rochester, MN
11 answers

My husband and I have a 14 month old and are expecting again, due in early June. The two will be about 20 months apart when the baby arrives. We plan to keep the baby in our room for about the first six months (what we did with our son), and then move him into a crib in the nursery. Here's my question--should we put the two together in the same room? Or put them in separate rooms? We have a three bedroom house, and are hoping to be blessed with more children later, so our children will likely need to share a room at some point. Do we keep the first two together, so that they are used to sharing? Or put them in different rooms to aid with sleeping and napping? We aren't going to find out if the second is a boy or a girl, but I don't imagine that makes too much difference when they're so young. What have other moms done?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your advice. I think we'll try to keep them together, but if that doesn't work (if they wake each other up, etc.) it will be nice to be able to put them in separate rooms.

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A.F.

answers from Madison on

My son and daughter shared a room when they were little. I see nothing wrong with it and would do it again.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Do you know if you are having a girl or a boy, not that it matters too much at this age but it will when they're older. Mine are about 19 months apart and they share. It's fine. They started when the baby was about 6 months. I say you can put them in the same room so they are use to sharing. You can always seperate them later if you have a little girl. Good luck and congratulations.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would use the 3rd bedroom when the baby comes... down the road you can have them share if you are blessed with another child or if you have a girl have a girl and boy room (when/if you add to the family whatever the baby's sex is that is the room he/she goes into).

In my faimly I had three brothers and I was the only girl, my brothers were in one room and I was in another. My brother did fight ALOT because of different presonalities and as soon as we moved into a 4 bedroom house my older brother got a room of his own, while my 2 younger brothers shared.

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

We have three. I did not put our boys together until Luke was 3 and Isaac had just turned 2. They did great together and loved sharing a room. I have a fan in there for white noise and play a cd of lullaby music when they go to sleep.
If one wakes up, they usually wanted to hear the music to fall asleep again. The other does not wake up because they are used to the sounds.
Now we live in a two bedroom townhouse and have three in one room. We put them all together when Luke was 4, Isaac 3 and Eliana 8 months. It took a little longer, but they all go to bed awake at the same time at 8pm. They don't wake each other up usually. It has worked out well for us. THis has been a transition time for us. We hope to be able to upgrade soon. I guess from my experience, I would wait til the younger child is closer to a year and a half or two if you can. They will be happy to be together at that point. It's just hard with babies who wake up frequently.
Good luck!
K.

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E.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My girls are 18 months apart. I did what you are planning to do. We kept the baby in our room until 6 months of age (I would have moved her sooner if she had been sleeping through the night) It has worked out fine. It did not take long at all for them not to wake each other up if one woke in the middle of the night. At first they did great going to bed at the same time, but schedules change. The little one goes to bed before the older one now. I sometimes let her fall asleep in our room to keep from waking the little one (before she's in her deep sleep or hasn't fallen asleep yet). there have been a few times where they would stay awake and play with each other. You just have to go with the flow and be diligent with bed time. There may be a few bumps in the road at first but its worth it in the end! It has worked great for us. We also have a 3rd bedroom on our lower level, but like having that extra space for an office/play room. Good luck, and congrats on baby # 2!!!

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M.J.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Mine are 2 years 3mos. apart boy and girl. they share out of necessity at this point.

It does not matter at this stage as far as boy/girl that they are sharing. Most of the time it goes well.

Since you have the third bedroom though, I would use it. Here's why---occasionally mine wake each other up. Like last week the younger one had an earache and was waking up obnoxiously early (like 5 AM) crying because of it, which woke up older DS--who by then had slept enough he couldn't/wouldn't go back to sleep. So then I had two kids awake.

I kept DD sleeping with us until we moved here in September, 2 months before newest DS was born.
I didn't find they really needed to "adjust" to sharing. All I did was mention to DS1 a few times that baby sister would be moving into his room when we moved and it was accepted. (DS1 turned 4 shortly after our move, DD will be 2 in about a week.)

K.C.

answers from Davenport on

My daughter slept in our room for the first few months of her life...until she could sit up on her own. She had asthma and couldn't sleep laying down so when she was able to sit up on her own, we tilted her crib bed and put her in with brother as she was used to sharing a room with us. This worked great until our son, who is the older one, was around age 9-10 and began demanding his own room. He got it since we had the space and we agreed that they were getting old enough that they needed thier own space. We had mentioned to the kids the possibility of having their own room previously but they refused, so we waited until they were ready and it worked out very well. They are glad to have thier own rooms now but still speak fondly of the fun they had when they shared a room :)

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C.S.

answers from Omaha on

I think it would be easier to have seperate rooms for now. Our two oldest boys (now 8 and 4) had seperate rooms until we found out we were expecting number three. Then we moved them together even though we didn't set up the nursery right away. We told them they were going to share a room to spend more time together and they were excited that they got bunkbeds. We set up the nursery a few months before we were due months after we moved them together that way they weren't getting bumped together b/c of the baby. Over all the transistion went smoothly they wanted to play at night instead of go to sleep but it didn't last too long now we have no problems with nap or bed time.

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W.Y.

answers from Duluth on

Christine,

Congratulations on your pregnanacy! How exciting! When our second arrived, we had a similar situation...only since we had two bedrooms on one floor and the third on the lower level, our decision was kind of made for us. We kept the baby with us for 6 mos and switched her to the room next door with her big brother. This arrangement lasted about 2.5 years, when we welcomed our third...who also stayed with us for 6 mos. After that, we moved and the two boys roomed together (still are at ages 14 and 8...and never a complaint)...and DD got her own room. I really don't recall any major issues with the sleeping thing. I guess it just depends on individual circumstances and each child's own sleep issues.

For the record, I had to share a room with my lil' sis (2 yrs younger) my whole life, until I went away to college. I protested greatly as a teen. Although there were times I DESPISED this arrangement, I look back on lots of fond memories, too. She and I are very close, even though we now live 10 hrs away from each other.

Good luck! Let us know what you do!

W....mom of 3
www.kidlutions.com

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J.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

My girls are almost 2 years apart & have shared a room from the start. Despite occasional disruptions, it serves several purposes - We keep a guest room ready, which also serves as staging area for projects & emergency dump for unexpected company (coats or the stuff that accumulates on the Dining Room table); the girls learn about sharing & tolerance; they stay friendlier with each other, by necessity; and they understand that private rooms are a luxury, not a right. They don't have toys or a TV in their room (we have a playroom), so it's easier to keep tidy (won't say clean). We won't have to have a conversation about sacrifice if we moved to smaller digs or brought in family during tough times (which has happened). It is simply understood.

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N.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would use the rooms while you have the space! We have 3 now in 2 bedrooms, but we didn't have them share until the third was on the way.

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