Served via Email a Jumble of Divorce Papers That Are Not Filled Out All the Way

Don't sign anything until you talk to an attorney!!! Especially anything sent via email.

Get an attorney that is an divorce attorney. Show her/him the papers and watch him/her laugh. Then the real action will start. Things will start to move.

Since you probably make less money than he, you will be get the child support.

Good luck. I've been there. Don't let anyone bully you into signing anything until you talk to a lawyer!

call legal aid you can find them in the front of the phone book. If you live in the portland area call 211

Hi B. - It sounds like he is trying to get out of his responsibility. I am a military wife and work with our military family support and clearly you need help and the military WILL help you. They do not like and will not accept a soldier behaving this way.

Ok, several questions: how long ago did he leave the family? Did he join active duty or reserve or Guards? has he been assigned to a post or is he still at Basic & AIT? Do you have military ID? How close are you to an active duty military base (if you are a few hours it might be worth making an appointment & the trip)? Do you know of other military families in your town?

Today - gather all of your important paperwork including birth & marriage certificates, and other paperwork confirming your identity and relationship to your husband including any court paperwork. Write down a log of dates/events of what has taken place. Then take the mess of papers he sent you including a print off of the e-mail, highlight all incorrect/missing information. Write down any questions that you have including the spousal & child support. You are also entitled to medical coverage, your kids will always be entitled to that even after a divorce is final. You may even qualify for help with your night school. Now BREATHE! Ok, take a few minutes to go to MilitaryOneSource.com website (MOS). On the categories click on "Relationships" then "Divorce/Separation". Here you will find info that should be useful including: mediation, armed forces legal assistance program, how to help kids with divorce, and much more. Take some time to review and learn. This will help you in the long run. You can always call MOS 1-800-342-9647 to talk with someone.

According to your profile you live closer to Everett than Ft Lewis, so with that I suggest that on Monday make a phone call to the Family Assistance Center (FAC) there ###-###-####. The FAC office is tied in with the state National Guard but it is designed to help and support ALL military families regardless of branch of service or location. Talk to the FAC staff and briefly explain the situation. One thing I strongly recommend is that you stay as calm as possible when talking to anyone about this situation - this will give you creditability, another thing is to take detailed notes of who you talked to, as well as what they said. They will want to help you find out if you are in the DEERS system, if not then have them help you get enrolled in the system. This is your lifeline for pay & medical support.The FAC office can help you get communication to his Commander if needed - again it depends on the answers to the questions I asked above.

You may be able to use the military lawyers to help you with this or you may choose to obtain one of your own, if you choose that option make sure the civilian lawyer knows military very well so they can help you get everything that you need for you and your children. You may qualify for a free or low cost lawyer due to your situation, check with your local Legal Aid for that.

Also make sure things like a "Will" are talked about - what will happen if you are hurt or pass away in an accident?? where will the kids go? How will their support continue, etc? By getting it worked out with all the rest will save a headache in the long haul. If you choose to do a Will on your own do it with Quicken WillMaker program, this walks you through each step plus gives you a detailed manual to read for questions and suggestions and is State specific, it is very easy and has lots of other good info. But in your circumstance I suggest that it be done with a military or civilian lawyer that you work with to make sure any court orders are included.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this but in the long run you will be stronger for your kids. Being in this situation of work, school, kids, etc I encourage you to seek out support in your community (church, family, military family support, etc). You will need a break as well as someone to cry on their shoulder, we can do our best via Mamasource but having someone to help hold your hand will be a major benefit. Don't be afraid to accept help, you deserve it not only for yourself but your kids too! Take some time to BREATHE but it is ok to cry and let it out. You will start to heal and you can help your kids do the same. God Bless!

EDIT: B. - I just talked to my husband about this (he has been in 17+ years) and he said No the Military will not stand for a soldier to do this to his family. I just reread your posting & noticed that you have had communication with the commander. Take copies of all the e-mail communication you have had regarding this when you talk with the FAC office. You may be put in touch with the Family Programs office at his base location or even at the state level. It is possible the commander that you e-mailed with is not following procedure himself so that is where you can take it up the next step. But start with the FAC office, confirm your DEERS status (including address) and hopefully the above info will help you with the rest. God Bless

I am an ex-military wife (Army)...I second what everyone here has said! I would strongly recommend you speaking with the base legal services...unfortunately, if he speaks to them first...they can not represent both of you and they will typically represent the soldier before the spouse (in my experience). It doesn't sound like he went to them though if you are getting legalzoom papers via email. My experience with the base legal service was that they were very thorough.

All of that aside...if you want to do the paperwork for an uncontested divorce in Oregon...it really isn't that difficult. I completed all of the divorce paperwork myself, met my ex at the bank to get our signatures notorized and was divorced in record time (less than 24 hours from time of filing) and without all the expense of lawyers. Oregon really isn't as complicated as many would like to think...and they make the papers available online for free. There is also a calculator for childsupport which tells you how much they will be paying. You can also put into the papers to have Oregon automatically garnish his paychecks for the childsupport so that there is no concern about whether you will receive the funds or not...it is done before he even sees his paycheck. Military or not, you are still residence of Oregon...and Oregon law prevails in a divorce situation. If you need help finding the information, feel free to write me.

Best of luck!

Depending on the school you are going to they may provide free legal aid to students. I know PSU does as that is how I checked out my divorce paperwork past an attorney. Also I was only taking 1 class at PSU, so it doesn't have to be full-time student status.

I wish you and your children the best of luck.

Okay, NO IT'S NOT LEGAL! Don't sign...print what you have...for evidence. Get a new set of forms..fill them out as though you are filing..fill in the correct info that you have, and have them delivered to him via certified mail. You are technically a military wife. You need to let the military know that your husband is committing fraud by paying him to have a wife and kids..he's not caring for them. Make him prove he is using that money for you guys..it can be done his records can be supeonaed. You do need a lawyer..but you might be able to a lot of the research on your own. Go for it.

DO NOT SIGN!!!! You have rights, and as a military spouse you can talk to a lawyer at the legal office for free. They can not file a divorce for you, but they can talk to you about your rights. If you want to do a uncontested divorce then you get the papers and fill them our your self. The paper work is not difficult and your local state should have a web site to help you out. At least if you do it yourself you will know the amounts are correct. Do not let him screw with you. And if he is not paying you child support, contact his First Sergent, and if he does not help, his commander. I would go see them in person if at all possible, but if that is not possible then call them. They can help you, it is their job.

look into legal aid, you may be able to get help for free. From what I understand, you are not served unless someone can verify that you yourself received the papers. Meaning, someone has to confirm you are you, and hand them to you personally. He is trying to fool you, so don't fall into the trap of signing anything that is wrong or you may get stuck with less child support and who knows what other hidden conditions. You really do need a lawyer!

B.,
I have been a military dependant all my life, first as a child then as a wife.
The first thing I would tell you is get the correct information for his chain of command. You should be talking with a a SFC of higher. The other thing you have to remember is that any action you take could get him in trouble if he is in the wrong. This could backfire on you if the army figures he is not worth the trouble and puts him out. Then he will have no income......... So you have alot of soul searching to do. You have alot on your plate right now but I believe God is able to handle all of it.
Take a step back and look at all you options, and figure out which would be the most beneficial for your children and you. I pray that you will reside with the one who gives the peace that passes all understanding.

Sorry to hear of your difficult situation. It sounds as though it's for the best, since he's so cold-hearted that he would abandon you, and even worse, his kids!

As far as the divorce documents, I don't think he can legally serve you the paperwork by email or otherwise. I think it has to be someone other that him (but double check that). Did you get any type of service paper with the other documents? Also, there should be a place within the documents for you to contest the divorce, not that you want to, but it would give you time to make sure the paperwork is completed accurately. You can file for the divorce yourself (get one up on him), and you can get the paperwork at Snohomish County Court House. It's a pretty basic process. You can also make an appointment at the courthouse to have them calculate the accurate child support figures. They will even help you fill out the child support/custody portion of your documents. It's been awhile (1997) since I filed for my divorce, so I can't remember all of the specifics. Hope this is a bit of help. I think it's probably a good idea to contact an attorney. Maybe you can get a basic consultaton without cost. Best of luck to you. T.

P.S. I forgot about you being a military wife. (I was too.) You should have access to free legal advice through the military. Some of the others who responded have given you good information in this regard. There's also a organization called Evergreen Legal Services that works with people on a limited income. Hang in there!!

What is happening is completely illegal-- don't sign anything- but in addition to seeing a lawyer on Monday- also call someone in the military '''chain'' -- what service is he sweetheart??-- Navy? - Marine? - Army?
Call THAT service- with as much information as you can scrape together- your marriage date, marriage license number, his military info' --- the childrens' birth dates and social security numbers --- everything that you can.

PLEASE be strong for just a bit longer- and this will get ironed out-

( OHHHHHHHHHH it makes me furious when this happens to families)

Blessings,
J.

Brandi:

If he is in the Army and you are still married, by law, you have every right to use the attorneys on base for free. You need to contact your local base/fort and see who you can talk to. Bring the paperwork with you.

It is not clear whether you have a military dependant id card or some way to get on the base/fort (I am a military wife-US Air Force). If he does not even know your real birthdate or the kids, obviously, this is his cry to you to fill out the info.

If you have any contact with him, have him set up an appointment with the military legal office and just let him get out of the marriage. It sounds like you would be better off without him anyhow.

Also, contact his superior if you are not getting the pay that you are supposed to and make sure you have all documentation showing that fact.

Best wishes and let me know if you need anymore advice (not legal).

____@____.com

Kim B.

Hi, was in a marriage where my ex was in the military. Understand this that the military will support you and your children first before him. By that I mean if he makes 50.00 that pay period and he owes you 100.00 for the month for child support the military will give you his whole check. The military believe that they give them a place to eat and sleep so you will get every dime for that pay period. This is important to know because my ex decided to get out of the military because he didn't want to give me any child support for our kids. My best advise is to get an attorney a good one so that you and your children get the best they can. Make sure you get an attorney who is familiar with military law also so that they can help you best. there are low no cost attorneys out there call your local court house and see what they have available. DON'T go cheap, get one that you trust and feels like they are protecting you. If you don't they may make some mistakes that you will have to live with for what seems like forever. Times may get tough but you can do it just hang in there. There may also be terrible days but the next might not be so bad. Best of luck

Get to the Courthouse today. File proper papers yourself. I would not do anything with emailed papers! I work at a Court and I have never heard of emailed divorse papers. Each State has their own forms. If they didnt come from the Court itself, I wouldnt trust them. The best thing for you is to get to the court in your county ASAP. Most courts have Family Law Facilitators that can help walk you through everything (FOR FREE)...try this before going to an attorney. If you need more help, please email me! I am glad to assist. I am sorry to hear that you have been treated this way. Relax and take a breath (or a million :)) and call your local courthouse. Good luck!

contact a lawyer, don't sign anything that you are not comfortable with. You can go through legal aid if you can't afford one I think. You can also try contacting a place called st. andrews legal clinic.

Not only should you NOT sign any of those papers but you should contact someone in his branch of service and let them know what is going on - try to get a commanding officer instead of the newbie they might have on the phones. I grew up in the military and I also had a cousin end up in your same situation - abandoned, small children, husband who won't care or pay who entered the military. Once my dad tracked him down and let his commanding officers know what he was doing there was some very thorough and swift action taken. The military does not take lightly their members bumming out on their families or their financial obligations. At least it didn't used to! Definitely don't let this go and definitely do NOT sign those papers!

Whatever you do, do not sign those emailed "papers". I don't know much about divorce law, but I helped my friend file divorce papers in Oregon and the rules were very stringent. You are smart to get a lawyer. Especially if your husband works for the gov't, they will help you get the support you deserve. Do NOT give up until you get money from him.

I am really sorry to hear about your situation. It must not be easy but in the long run you will be much better off than this jerk. Listen to these ladies, and be firm and persistent; refuse to be manipulated, intimidated or discouraged.

If you sign your name to something that has wrong/false information, then you can get in trouble. How can anyone get you into trouble for NOT signing your name to something that has false or wrong information?

Sorry you are going through this tough time.

Divorce laws vary state to state, so I'm not sure if internet service is a legal, viable means of service. For you to be receiving child support and for him to have back child support you must have a legal separation or divorce of some type. Contacting a lawyer is your best bet. They will probably contact the Army as well when it comes to direct payments for child support. If you have problems in working with the Army and getting what you are awarded in child/spousal support, healthcare for kids, etc., contact your U. S. Senators and Congressman/woman. Their offices can help you get through some of the red tape as well by them contacting the Army and asking the appropriate questions. It maybe that he's not in a physical location that allows him to do anything other than an internet contact with you. So he's given you his intent with regards to your marriage, now you'll have to do the nuts and bolts of the process and get the lawyer, etc. I'm sorry your marriage didn't succeed. I wish you and your soon-to-be ex-husband well. May it be an amicable divorce so your boys will always know and have the love of both of their parents. He will always be their dad, and you their mom. Take good care.

I don't think you can be served legal papers via email. I would just hit the "reply" button and write a note at the top saying that the information in contained in the paperwork is incorrect and therefore you cannot sign it. Then I'd find an attorney.

I would consult a lawyer. Don't sign anything or do anything until you have talked to someone. This way you can make sure you and your kids are taken care of.

For less expensive legal advice/help, look into the YWCA, or LaCasa. There might be others out there, but I was able to get a load of info. from YWCA when I went through my divorce and I didn't have kids.

DON'T SIGN ANYTHING, unless you agree to the terms. If you don't agree to the terms and you sign, you will be stuck.

I don't think service via email is legal, they can't verify that you are the one that got the information. bUT, DO NOT SIGN.

Good luck,
D.

Forward them back to him, WAIT! If you want to do his work for him? In the forwarded forms er race his signature and all the wrong info. Fill them out right and sign them. Then let him agree/disagree. Throw it back in his lap.

Remember he can forward them to anyone with the changes and your signature and get those copies and file. This forward thing is dangerous.

I'm pretty sure that emailing you is not serving you. When I divorced I couldn't be the one to serve the papers. It had to be someone else...so I can't imagine he can serve you either...email or otherwise. AND...it has to be documented. There is a special paper that has to be filled out by the server. Sounds like a coward to me. In any case, you don't really have divorce papers..........geez what a piece of work he is! Sign nothing. Don't make it easy for this guy to divorce you. Even IF he had served you correctly, you don't HAVE to sign them. He can take you to court on your court date. Go from there. I wouldn't pay an attorney yet either. I know you have an appt. today, but don't jump the gun and start letting them scare you out of your money! They are VERY good at that! If you can't afford an attorney, you may be appointed one I think. Not sure. I know if you are a criminal you get one......but don't go out and become one LOL just to get free legal representation. Good luck. OH and I forgot to tell you....make your attorney go after him for attorney fees since he's the one divorcing you. Whatever you do, don't file first!!!!! Let him serve you correctly and then go to an attorney and say he's divorcing me...I have no money, why should I have to pay for being dumped...yata yata and a good attorney will get HIM to pay ALL the costs. cheers!

Honey for one completely do not sign them ever, and do get yourself a lawyer check with the bar association in your area they will get you one for very little cost with full help benefits those paprs are such a loser lose anytime you sign something this crazy you are agreeing to everything he says and that will lead to you getting nothing because you yourself just said all information is messed up not right answers, so see you sign he can add to it and bam!!! your hooked to pay him probably for spouse support depending on your states laws and no backing out because its done as a printed name not sure nothing about email divorce papers ever to be legal so stop and smell the rat he is becoming to you and your loving children scoop him for it all legally okay your lawyer can better deal with the milatary service and you then can get back support, plus go to the child support enforcement for help they have power to help you alot too. Lots of love and support from me, S.

Contact legal aide it is free

Sounds to me like HE just found out he's about to be getting less pay, and is trying to scam the paymaster as WELL as you. IE...he needs to be able to print something out and show payroll...no, really, see...I'm not actually married. Uh-huh. Right.

Don't fall for it. See that attorney. If you don't have one, I've got a referral for a good one in downtown Seattle.