Sensitive Daughter?? - Horace,ND

Updated on January 13, 2009
R.L. asks from Horace, ND
7 answers

Hello - This is my second request in one week - this community is so helpful and full of guidance!

My daughter, who is 13 months old, is a happy go lucky child who is always smiling, both at home and at the in home daycare where she spends her days. A few months ago, a new child joined the daycare family, and for some reason, my daughter cries when he makes loud noises. Not just a whimper, but a full blown, red faced, sobbing fit. It seem as if whenever he makes noises (he is a loud little one) she reacts by sobbing, but doesn't do it if anyone else makes loud noises - not me, not her dad, not any other child she has ever been in contact with. She is not a shy child, and she normally thrives on being around others. It is just that she reacts to this boy's voice...which I think may provoke him to make the noise again! I just don't know what I can do...I feel bad for our wonderful daycare provider!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Your daughter is acting normally for her age believe it or not. She doesn't cry at all loud noises because she knows those noises. She knows if you or your husband does something loud, she is ok, she is safe. She knows that at daycare the kids there make loud noises and she is ok still. Then a new kid comes in and starts making loud noises non stop by the sounds of it. Suddenly things changed and she doesn't know that his making loud noises aren't going to hurt her and that she will be ok. It is a new and unsure situation. This little boy might like having the control of making her scream also so the situation should be watched. When she starts crying, it would help if the day care provider would hold her and tell her that the noise is just noise. Then teach the kids "inside voices" because even a 2 year old can understand that. It is better for all the childrens ears if they understand that inside voices don't scream. It won't take long and she will be more comfortable around this young man even if she never likes or trusts him.

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J.Z.

answers from Davenport on

I had a friend with a similar problem and she used eye make-up remover and she said it worked.

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Y.A.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Why does she ahve to get along with the other child?

If the daycare provider is hankdling this situation, you dont have to. If your child doesn't like the other youth, she has made a preference in her young life. This is better than her having colic or being old enough to jus tslug him when he bothers her.

Be prepared for her to have her own mind when she is older. Respect it by giving her plenty of opportunities to use her independence it situations you are ready for her to handle because you have given her the tools to make postive and safe choices. Havign a mind of her own isn't terible. You may learn from her as well.

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W.A.

answers from Madison on

What are some of the ways the provider is dealing with this? Is there a way to keep them semi separated? Is there a way for them to get more used to each other? What is she doing when these episodes occur? Maybe she just needs more adjustment time or a better way to "deal" with things/noises/(people?) she may not like.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

consult your doctor for a possible sensory processing disorder

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Since she responds this way to only the one boy, I wouldn't worry about it. It might be something about the tone of his voice or his specific pitch that bothers her. I'm sure your daycare provider has dealt with worse!

My son is fairly sensitive to loud noises and stranger's voices, but he is getting better as he gets older. I have an aunt whose tone of voice makes my son cry. (She does sort of does this "baby voice" that's really annoying, but I digress....").

Anyway, we all have our quirks. If it was all the time, or it prevented her from functioning normally, I would say seek help, but this will likely pass.

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B.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's called jealousy. This is a new child at daycare who she sees as threatening her status there. She probably gets special attention when she has a fit so she keeps doing it. You can suggest how the daycare provider reacts to the fits, but ultimately she has to figure out how to handle your daughter's behavior.

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