16 answers

Seeking Suggestions for Friend Who Has to Be on Bedrest for 2 Months.

Hi everyone,
Would love to hear suggestions on how to care for and entertain a friend who has to be on bedrest for the next 2 months. She literally can't get out of bed except to use the bathroom since she went into early labor. She is now on medication to keep contractions at bay and is having a hard time dealing with the propsect of being in bed by herself all day. Any ideas for her?
Many thanks!

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THank you so much for all your great ideas to help my friend get through having to be on bed rest!

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If she has a Wii or can borrow one, the game called Endless Ocean is really fun. I used it this summer when I was sidelined with shingles. It is relaxing and has beautiful and peaceful music/scenery.

try a needlepoint that has the pattern/colors on it for the baby. There are a lot of cute baby patterns out there and then she could frame it and hang it in the babies room. I had a angel holding a baby with the world in her arms, it is hanging in my son's room. As he got older it was nice to be able to tell him that it was made for him while I was waiting laying in bed.

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If she has a Wii or can borrow one, the game called Endless Ocean is really fun. I used it this summer when I was sidelined with shingles. It is relaxing and has beautiful and peaceful music/scenery.

try a needlepoint that has the pattern/colors on it for the baby. There are a lot of cute baby patterns out there and then she could frame it and hang it in the babies room. I had a angel holding a baby with the world in her arms, it is hanging in my son's room. As he got older it was nice to be able to tell him that it was made for him while I was waiting laying in bed.

Organize a group of friends to bring her and her family meals each week. We did this for a friend of ours and it worked out beautifully. There was a group of about 10 of us and we took turns bringing the family dinner 3 times a week for about 2 months. It worked out so that each of us brought her dinner once or twice during the whole period. The gal who organized this asked what kind of food they normally eat, if anyone had food allergies, and what kinds of things her older kids like to eat and passed that list on to us. On our assigned night we would deliver the food by 6pm, knock on the door, say hello and chat for a minute or two and then leave so as not to burden the family. Our friend was very grateful.

If you have a small group of friends that would be interested in doing a mini book club, maybe you guys could meet at your friends house once a week. A) reading the book gives her something to do and B) She'd get visitors of her friends once a week and be able to do something fun with all of you. You could also change this to be a scrapbooking meeting or tailor it to fit the hobbies of your friend.

If she has other kids, you could also volunteer to babysit or take the other kids out for a special treat with your kids. Movie and dinner, or just out for icecream.

You are an awesome friend to be so considerate of your friends needs right now.

I had the same situation with my first child, strict bedrest for 10 weeks and medications around the clock.

My first comment is that while it's critical to help her maintain a positive attitude during this time, be careful how you approach that. It's really cool that another poster enjoyed her bedrest, but most women feel the way I did, that it is NOT an easy time nor a blessing. There are many mixed emotions that go along with it. You're not relaxing because you feel like it, you are stuck in bed.

It actually really bothered me when people would say to me things like, "Wow I wish I could lay around all day, that would be great!" It's NOT great when you really wish that you could be preparing for your new baby, shopping, decorating, and getting things in order. I personally loved being pregnant, and loved showing it off to the world. So a part me felt robbed of that as well. And depending on your personality, it can be difficult to hand over control of your household and everything in it to other people.

One of the worst parts was that despite efforts to remain very positive about the outcome, and I'm a positive thinker by nature, there was still this nagging fear and worry in the back of my head all the time. Monitoring contraction activity, being aware of any signs of labor starting again, reading the book our doctor recommended about preemies "just in case".

That all being said, she's lucky to have you to help her mentally and practically. My son is 16, so I didn't have a laptop or a lot of what's available now. I think for me that would be the biggest thing, having access to a laptop, because it will enable her to keep up with friends through email and networking and not feel so isolated. Plus she can pass some time by doing research and planning for the baby. I highly recommend her trying one of the many sites that offer discussion groups and forums for moms and moms to be. She can join groups of women on bedrest, groups that are due the same time as she is, and anything else she could imagine, it can be fun.

I kept a journal during my bedrest, and it not only helped me deal with the situation at the time, but I've enjoyed going back and reading through it years later. The other ladies have had some great suggestions like needlework, scrapbooking, etc.

Of course the thing that kept me from going stir crazy was just focusing on the fact that I was being the best mother I could be at that moment, I was making the sacrifice for my baby's health and well-being, and in the end that's all that mattered. Instead of being born at only 26 weeks, by son was full term and healthy. So help her stay focused on the goal, and commend her for her commitment to baby! With friends like you, I'm sure she'll get through this just fine! :)

She definitely needs a laptop, because world is still vast and full of possibilities with the internet, even from bed.
1) Blog. If she doesn't have one, she can start one, even if it's just a kind of journal for herself, to keep up with family and friends far away or to make money from doing it. You can also make a book out of your blog.
2) Education. There is SO much information out there. She should make a list of things (even just one thing) that she'd like to learn more about, then study up on it. Maybe even write a paper, like in school, to give herself extra motivation or an end goal. (Or even sign up for an online class!) Her love and passion for learning will grow and she could end up wanting to study several topics.
3) Facebook. It's a great way to reconnect with friends/family from the past and keep in touch.

She could also:
1) Knit or crochet things for her baby and make gifts for others.
2) Journal/scrapbook. What a great time to reflect on the past and organize memories and past experiences.
3) Thank you notes.

Just to name a few...
I hope she keeps that baby in until it's ready to come out! Bless your heart for being such a great friend to her.
~N.

Present her with a care package that contains the following:

1.Compile a list from all your friends of their all time favorite movies and throw them in

2.Buy her a decorative journal so she can write reflections each day

3. Encourage her to take fun course online (she will need a laptop and laptop table where the computer sits right in front of her and not on her lap. (Learning annex is perfect for this)

4. Perhaps there is a book she has always wanted to write

5. Buy her a scrap booking kit so she can pull together all her photos

6. Plan a regulare girls night out where her husband is kicked out and the girls gather in her room for food, movies and chit chat (order from her favorite place - no junk food.)

HOpe this helps

How about scrapbooking that is a good way to entertain. Its also very relaxing.Sams and walmart have starter kits the one in Sams is very nice.

I too was on bedrest because of high blood pressure for a couple months with my daughter. You got a lot of good suggestions, I want to add one more. After each doctors appointment, afet a "you're doing ok" from the doctor, my then husband would take the "long way home". Because we lived in Santa Barbara at the time, this meant driving along the beach or thru downtown with my window down, so I could get some fresh air and some variety. Then back to bed. It was a nice break. I don't know if your friend would feel comfortable with this or not, but it's a possibilty.

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