Seeking Resources & Sensory Diet Tips for 4 Year Old W/ Aggressive Behavior

Updated on May 17, 2010
M.J. asks from South Windsor, CT
10 answers

I am a single working mother. My 4 year old son has “so far” been diagnosed by the Children's Hospital to have sensory processing disorder and has started OT there once a week. He gets over stimulated in noisy or busy environments and also needs to be redirected repeatedly because he cannot stay on task. This is a neurological disorder and therefore standard discipline (timeout, rewards etc…) does not work for him. He is being evaluated further at the Children's Hospital next week and could possibly have Asperger’s Syndrome. When over stimulated he becomes aggressive and hits and throws things (heavy things). So far he has been kicked out of 3 daycares because of this. I am not seeking disciplinary advice of any kind. I am looking to find resources to help find him childcare to suit his needs in the South Windsor/Windsor, CT area. I am also looking for therapeutic techniques for treatment at home in the interim. I have been doing the medicine ball, pogo stick, joint compressions & brushing. I am certain I am not the only mom in this predicament. The school district will provide 2.5 hours 4 days a week and they will bus him once their evaluation is complete and he is accepted. I have a couple calls into a special needs advocate in an attempt to get him more than the 2.5 hours a day of help from the school. We are running out of daycare options very quickly. Any resources and tried and true sensory diet tips will be GREATLY appreciated. HELP!

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

Look up the GAPS diet(google it). It has been known to help with all kinds of behavioral issues. Wheat/gluten, sugar, artificial colorings and additives and heavy metal toxicity should be evaluated as well. Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

One thing that will work with young children and children with processing issues is to tell them what to do instead of what to stop doing. This is hard to do, but was some of the best advice I ever got from my daughters special needs preschool teacher. She has PDD-NOS. Instead of, "don't throw that" say "keep your hands in your pockets" or what ever action you want him to do instead.

I wish you luck with your evaluation. Are you getting this from a Developmental Pediatrician? If you have not contacted one, I would suggest it. Every last professional that he may need will be included in the evaluation, and then all the opininions will be put into one report for you. We have the most luck for medical treatment with a child pychiatrist, but we got the full developmental evaluation first. For our daughter, that included a geneticist, an ENT, OT, Speech, educational (neuropsychological) pyschological, neurological, audiologist, and the Developmental pediatrician himself. This was extreemly helpful.

I don't mean to be a downer, but it is unlikely that you will find a day care, but you might find a school for children with autism, but I won't lie, this is very expensive. It is a sad fact, those of us with kids on the spectrum end up staying home with them quite often because people try to understand, but they end up saying something like "I gave them all these chances, and they still misbehave, and never appreciated everything I did..." Meaning, I put up with their misbehavior and did not do anyting consistently, let them get away with it, to be nice, and then it made me mad when they did it again. I expected that they would appreciate my efforts (not have manifestations of their disablity anymore.)

Are you depending on the school district to do this evaluation? You need that evaluation, but you should own the evaluation that holds his diagnosis, and you should never know less than the school does about your son, nor should you depend on them to evaluate everything that needs to be evaluated. Schools very often fail to evaluate any area that they do not intend to serve. Meaning, if they do not have enough pysical therapists on staff for instance, it is likely that they will not evaluate him for that service even if they see a need. Legal, no, but common, yes, and you can ensure that this does not happen to your son by getting him private evaluations.

Public services will never be enough either. Supplement with as much therapy as you can afford. The school is only required to make him functional in the classroom, which is a far cry from what you want. School representatives may say things like "we want the best for him" or "we thing that what we are offering is enough for him to reach his potential" but in court (the only place it counts) they know that they can defend the smallest benefits as enough, the bar is incredibly low. Make sure he gets private Speech (if it is asperger, he needs that) OT, play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and medical therapy (treat the symptoms you see, it is very effective and nothing to be afraid of-always use a board certified child psychiatrist.) A social skills group is also a excellent addition.

How long has the evaluation been in the works? I am curious, it is a procedural violation of IDEA for them to tell you what his placement would be once he qualifies, placement is based on the IEP and the IEP is based on need. They are already offering you their one size fits all program, and it is almost gaurenteed that the evaluation they preformed will be desinged to find that this is all he needs. Make sure you do your own! You can be successful in seeking reimburssement if your evaluation is much more detailed and also has significant findings that the school evaluation failed to evaluate. You have to jump some hoops first, but that is not all that hard to do.

Sorry this is so long, I work as an advocate, so this is stuff I can help you with if you need advice. I would caution you, the best thing you can do is to get private therapy while you wait for a more detailed diagnosis. You can see a private OT and a private speech therapist and help him so much more than guessing what he needs based on everyone elses experiences with their kids, it really is not do it yourself, and, like the school program, one size fits all will fit almost none and produce little progress.

Good luck, I have been there (twice!) Go to www.wrightslaw.com and read about IEP's and spend a lot of time reading "Understanding tests and Measurements for parents and advocates." This article is excellent, and you should read it over and over again untill you understand it, make sure you do this before the evaluation data starts rolling in.

Let me know if I can help,
M.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi Mary Ann-

I'm a parent coach, and one of my focuses is behavioral issues. Because of that I've read a lot of books. Here are a few I love, (enough to buy!!)

The Explosive Child- Ross Greene
From Defiance to Cooperation-- John Taylor
Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out-- Jerry Wilde-- This is a workbook like book for the child
Taming the Dragon in your Child-- Meg Eastman
Helping Hyperactive Kids- A Sensory Intergration Approach-- Lynn Horowitz & Cecile Rost
Lastly, anything form Love & Logic Foster Cline & Jim Fay

Your Doc is right, you cannot punish your child to be better. It is all about learning how to talk to him and how to anticipate his needs.

One hint, Yes statements, take No out of your life. Yes you can go the park, after your homework is done. Yes you can have cake, after you eat dinner.

Best of luck

Rebecc Magby

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

There are a lot. I think you should tap into your local Autism Society and get connected with County Resources. Go to the Early Childhood Intervention team at your school and ask them what is your next step. The ECSE teams are wonderful. Talk to them about ECSE in the morning and Inclussion programs for the PM. When you sit at your IFP meeting (PreK has IFP's instead of IEP's in most states), ask them about additional services. You have to see what outside OT, PT, Speech & MT is available in your area. Too bad you are not near me or I would be more than happy to hold your hand through the process. For right now, I think you will need to get ideas from the SLP and OT at the school. They will give you ways and techniques to help with behaviors. Once a psychologist gets on board; gives you a dx then you will have a lot more options. Do check into communication boards, visual schedules, weighted jackets & blankets. They will help. You can mail me off list too and we can talk. (((HUGS)))

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Have you tried finding a nanny? There are nannys who have experience with special needs. How many hours per week and per day do you need? Where is Windsor? Is that CT?

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

I'm sorry I don't know of daycare options but I have an 11 yr old boy w/ Asperger's and dyspraxia. The dyspraxia was obvious from a young age but the Asperger's wasn't really evident until he was a little older [2nd grade] . I was just going to suggest a body sock and under armour compression shirts, weights for waist, wrists or ankles, and weighted hats. At school he also used to have a bumpy seat cushion, an elastic around the legs of the chair/table for him to press against w/ his legs to try and help him stay in his seat, an extra large pencil grip.

Updated

I'm sorry I don't know of daycare options but I have an 11 yr old boy w/ Asperger's and dyspraxia. The dyspraxia was obvious from a young age but the Asperger's wasn't really evident until he was a little older [2nd grade] . I was just going to suggest a body sock and under armour compression shirts, weights for waist, wrists or ankles, and weighted hats. At school he also used to have a bumpy seat cushion, an elastic around the legs of the chair/table for him to press against w/ his legs to try and help him stay in his seat, an extra large pencil grip. Good luck!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Dietary changes can be so important. You can go the "elimination" route by removing all kinds of things, which is complicated and involves a lot more saying "no" to a kid who's already hearing that. White sugar and white flour are relatively easy to remove and it's probably a good health move anyway since the whole grains are clearly the way to go.

Have you considered WHY we have so much more autism (including Asperger's), sensory processing/sensory integrative disorders, asthma, food allergies, and so on? It's pretty well documented that the deficiencies in our diet - even if we "eat right" - are a huge cause. Even fresh foods don't have the nutrients they used to (not just vitamins but also trace elements and many phytonutrients) - most foods have 10%-40% less than they did 40 years ago.

The easiest, most sensible and most effective thing you can do from a dietary perspective is to ADD what is missing rather than eliminate all kinds of things that your child's diet does not allow him to digest. Our family uses Reliv products, and I have many friends who have used the children's product with phenomenal success with Asperger's, anger/rages, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, peanut allergies, and more. I would be happy to connect you with them and give you the info you need. We really have a great network to help people be successful. The nutrition is simple because the formulas are balanced by the food scientists & research team - you aren't trying to mix & match vitamins yourself. Nothing is outsourced and everything is tested by a 3rd party lab.

You owe it to yourself and your child to get more info on this - the website is chock full of info meant for a variety of people so I recommend that you start with us other parents to help refine that info to your particular questions.

There is hope and you will be amazed! Your wonderful son is in there somewhere just imprisoned by these conditions! Let's help him find his way out!

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

My son has autism and as part of his program he receives a sensory diet. One of the items that you did not mention was a weighted vest. When wearing it the child becomes more focused on the task at hand. I'm sure once you have a more defined diagnosis and receive services such as Occupational Therapy, more interventions will occur. Keep perservering, you are your child's best advocate.

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T.C.

answers from Burlington on

My son was diagnosed with a mild sensory processing disorder at age 4. He had problems with loud sounds, adjusting to different situations, and was very aggressive especially to his younger brother. He received OT for 2 years, one year at home, and one year during kindergarten. Something the OT suggested was a weighted blanket which my son loved almost as much as brushing. To this day, he's 8 now, he can't sleep well without it. We still have many issues with our son. Something we have discovered recently is to remove all food containing red dye from his diet, and all orange juice which is something he would drink regularly. This has calmed his moodiness and agressiveness considerably. We are still seeing a therapist regularly, but I had to stop OT because it actually made the situations worse, because he would get so overstimulated during sessions he was uncontrollable after. I'm sure if any of this will help you, but if you aren't already I would definitely try removing red dye from his diet. It's made a big difference in our house. Best of luck to you and your son!

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