Seeking Moms' Advice About a Picky Eatter.

We had some trouble with my 2 yr old. We just decided that she would eat what we serve, end of story, this still sometimes means she will be hungry, but we believe she is smart enough to make that choice for herself. We also offer dessert (ice cream, cookie, whatever) if she eats 3 bites of each thing on her plate and does it pleasantly (no food spitting, throwing, crying, tantrums, etc. that result in time out). It works wonders. We still have some tough nights but most of the time it is nice to have dinner with her and I know she is getting all the nutrition she needs. Hope that helps.

I know it's not much, but my daughter loves white rice with Yoshida teriyaki sauce on it. Oh, and anything that sounds like what they eat in her favorite movies. (Her favorite right now is "jam bread"...because Barbie eats bread and jam in her movie.)Maybe take a look at his favorite movies and see if they're eating anything you could recreate...chicken drumsticks from Sleeping Beauty...I can't think of any others right now, but I know there are.

Have you tried letting him help you in the kitchen?

Hi R.,
You are describing my youngest son's diet about 6 months ago. He is 4, but he had been eating this way since he was your son's age. The problem is that the foods you mention are not foods. They are "non-foods", because they contain no nutritional value and many chemicals--not good for your child or mine. Because my son has some developmental delays I put him on a special diet, it had nothing to do with being a picky eater, but...I know this will sound strange...once I started him on the diet he started to eat anything I gave him. He now only eats natural, whole, organic foods and does not complain. His favorite food is mixed veggies. lol. He does not crave the non-foods even if someone eats that in front of him. The diet I us is GAPS diet. YOu can find out more about it on www.gaps.me or www.gapsdiet.com. If you need help with it or have any questions that the site doesn't answer, send me an email.

Also, if you are feeding your child non-foods like I was, you may also have toxic household and personal products in your home like I did. In that case you'll definitly want to check out my website. www.LiveWellShopSmart.com I've had to re-educate myself on so many thing to protect my children and I am privileged to help someone else now in anyway I can. Blessings, T. www.LovinLifeWithHomeBiz.com

R.,
You may have to become the sneaky chef. Also, it sounds like you are using packaged and processed foods (no judgement!), but you may need to make the packaged foods homemade.

my daughter is almost 2 and the pickyness is so challenging. One day she eats something, next day---no way tis life! Anyway, my little one is primarily vegetarian. I always make sure that at every meal she gets whole grain, protein and a fruit or veg. In your case, I would convert all of his favorite foods into a whole grain or veggie option: brown rice, whole grain bread for homemade french toast, whole grain pasta and veggie dogs (I think smart dogs taste EXACTLY like regular, and he's not getting the nitrates or the pig eyelid that he gets in a regular hot dog). Also use sweet potato fries instead of regular---lots of vitamin A and they are yummy!!! Quorn makes great meatless nuggets (soy free)--they taste just like chicken!! Spelt crust pizza (he can help you make it homemade)

Next, I would make a puree: fresh carrots, corn, spinach, broccoli, tofu. Steam/sautee, TASTE to ensure it's yummy and puree. You can freeze it.

I use these nutritious purees for EVERYTHING I can!!! Recently I used Bob's red mill 10 grain pancakes (yummy), mixed it up and added 1 cup of veggie puree. She LOVED them (you can also add 1/2 cup of cheese, but I stay away from dairy, esp when its cold). They are super nutritious, and you can freeze left overs and heat one up. Sometimes she just wants 1-2 pancakes, a bowl of brown rice, and some scrambled egg for dinner.

Also, pick up some flax seed meal. You can add it to organic yogurt, cookies (also use oatmeal, raisins, carob chips) , brown rice pudding, homemade banana bread, etc.

finally, remove the white sugar, and use succanat for all of the things you make that require sweetening. Also, ONLY use Grade A real maple syrup. The commercial syrups are cheaper, but made with a LOT of awful stuff like high fructose corn syrup (there is MERCURY in that stuff)

My motto is healthy, yummy, homemade and quick!
Overall, you need to be sure every meal is made in the healthiest way possible, and in case he does not want to eat, at least you tried.

Feel free to email me if you need other ideas. Good luck

My son is two and is becoming more difficult - he eats still but all of a sudden he won't even look at a vegetable or try new fruits. He loves the same things your son does, so I dont' have any new recipes,thats what my son eats too but I try to just balance it out as best as possible - he likes turkey and cheese, has your son tried that? Pasta - my son loves it, but I've noticed he LOVES eating the angel hair now - I think its fun for him - maybe try different shapes and your son will be interested - the sauce is good and has nutritional value..if you really want to use whole wheat pasta and make your own sauce, cut out sugar and preseravative - but that might now be a concern right nwo for you. My son loves ALL cheese, actually so I tend to put the 2% cheese on a lot of things. How about sweet potatos or baked sweet potato fries or even just regular baked fries with his chicken nuggets. Lots of ketchup! LOL! Veggie burgers with cheese. I don't really have recipes but these are things my son eats...but I was going to suggest that maybe you can find a way to make the recipes that he loves a bit more healthy so at least he can keep eating them but you dont' have to worry so much about the nutritional value. Like the mac and cheese...can you make it yourself but use whole wheat pasta, skim or low fat milk and low fat cheese instead...maybe hide some stuff in there. I know some people are against hiding but I say DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. Once I hid a baby food jar of yellow squash in the mac and cheese...Chicken nuggets - again make them yourself - from chicken tenders and use whole wheat flour and whole wheat bread crumbs and then bake them. Hot dogs - we only use the all natural, uncured, no preservative hot dogs. Still a bit high in fat but I can't worry about everything! He's so active he probably burns it off as soon as he eats it! We buy them in Shop Rite or Stop & Shop. How about mini waffles? My son LOVES the earths best - blueberry and regular. He also loves blueberries so I load him up with those since they are healthy. How about grilled/baked chicken with cous cous - something else my son eats up. One thing I'd suggest is if you are stressing or making a big deal, he will feel that, so just be nonchalant about it. Jerry Seinfelds wife wrote that cookbook...I'm not sure the name but you can probably search online and find it - its all recipes for kids. The sneaky chef is another one - or that one. Sorry I can't remember. Does your son drink milk or juice? How about his snacks? My son eats blueberries, bananas, goldfish crackers, grahm crackers, apple sauce. I try to give my son whatever we eat - I offer it to him but I don't force him - I usually can get one bit out of him and if he does that and says he doesn't like it then I don't force it...I also try to not totally feed him something different but try to keep it at least similar to what we are eating, but as an adult I can remember not eating a lot of things until I was older so I just keep trying everything. Keep trying all sorts of new things, act excited about it, eat it too and try not to worry - your son will eat something eventually.

Hi R.,
Few suggestions homemade chicken noodle soup, veggie stews, that you can pour over rice and have him feed himself. My son loves to eat the boiled chicken meat that I use to make the soup. Also, I cut a potato, sweet potato or even carrots in wedges just like french fries and spread it on a cookie sheet, pour a little olive oil and put it under the broiler for few minutes. Serve it with ketchup just like FF. Rice congee or pilaf is also a great dish that you can vary with different ingredients. Good luck and don't worry he will eat when he is hungry, just offer him good healthy choices.

Hi, I have picky eater as well. I do try to keep what he does eat healthy. He drinks a smoothie for breakfast, so I try stoneyfields berry or strawberry. He likes bagels so he eats whole wheat. Chocolate pancakes are also whole wheat with choc, chips. He eats chicken finger alot for dinner so I get Bell and Evans,pretty organic. Don't get me wrong he does eat candy but I make him finish his lunch. Good luck N.

Does your son eat fruit? Or yogurt?

My 6 year old son is also fussy - but he will eat more chicken nuggets with ketchup - and we try to use the Perdue Whole Grain chicken nuggets - they are a little healthier.

I have a book called First Meals and it gives great ideas for meals your your child.

<<<He will only eat (and use the word "eat" very loosely) dogs (hot and corn) pizza, French toast sticks, Tomato soup, cereal(some types) mac and cheese, a bite or two of a chicken nigget and a little spaghetti. He does like to eat junk...of course... like cookies (some types).>>>

Excuse me, but what about any of the above is NOT junk food? Your child (and everyone else) should be on a whole foods diet. Even organic prepared food is junky. For a last resort, get a juicer, juice organic veggies/greens and fruit and disguise with a good organic glass-bottled juice. Our diets should be at least 75% alkaline and that consists of vegetables and fruits.

J., 57, mother of four grown sons and not on one prescription.

Hi,
I have a 2 1/2 year old girl who isn't exactly picky, but didnt like to eat her dinner, and she does like her canny (candy)and her dad has been giving it to her to get on her good side. But over the last couple months, I have stopped buying it and her intake has cut down alot and I even had to cut down on her lunch to get her to eat dinner.
I wouldnt want to see my baby go hungry either, but sometimes thats what it takes to get them to eat.
I have also babysat for a while. One child was 6 and very picky. Pretty much the same thing as you are going through. I was told that she wouldnt eat anything that I would make, but a little bit of "tough love" got her to eat. I made dinner for my family, and she criticized everything on her plate. "I don't like that", "My mommy says I don't have to eat that" I told her that if she doesnt like what I made, then, of course, she gets no dessert, no snack, and nothing else to eat. She didnt like that response, and after about 15 minutes of playing with her food, and watching everyone else eat, she ate all of her dinner, and lunch (every day for 6 days). Unfortunately, when she got home her parents told her that I was wrong and she doesn't ever have to eat anything she doesn't want to, even though she learned to like other foods. When I saw her about 2 years later, she was back to the same picky ways.
You say he likes mac and cheese? try adding chicken or even brocolli to it, in small chunks. Another recipe I dont like myself, but my teenagers do; mac & cheese (shells) with small chunks of spam and frozen peas. Or maybe add melted cheese (Velveeta) to veggies, like brocolli and cauliflour. Another one dish meal I haven't made in a while is chicken or beef flavored rice with meat chunks (chicken or beef cooked first, then added to cooked rice mix) with corn or small florets of broccoli, or even carrots.
Cut out the cookies altogether, and whatever "junk" he eats. And ANY snacks between lunch and dinner. I would definitely stay away from making "2" dinners, just so a child would eat something he likes.

If you think it will help, try having someone else getting him to eat different foods.

Any type of Italian food has lots of carbs and is high in calories and very few children reject it. Offer him dairy in cheese and yogurt and put cheese on things he might be picky about. My daughter loves pb&j sandwiches. Lunch is her biggest meal, so I try to get the most in her then. She also loves fruit as in cantelope, grapes, bananas, etc.

Hi R.
I have 2 picky eaters, but my 3 year old has gotten worse. He doesn't even eat what you would call a regular lunch--he'll have healthy "snack" foods like a banana, yogurt, goldfish, etc. Dinner is tougher even. Just lately I have offered him instant oatmeal for dinner, and he likes it. I use the Quaker Simple Harvest apple and cinnamon--all natural. I'll have to read others' answers to get some ideas for myself!
C.

My grandkids were terrible picky eatters so my son in law came up with the idea of renaming foods to sound really cool. Home made baked chicken fingers because dinosaur claws, celery was something like water swords, cuke slices were wagon wheels, and so on. He also usually had some sort of dipping sauce for things because kids love to dip. Apples in peanut butter, veggies in home made ranch dressing, etc.

Don't keep cookies and junk food in the house if your daughter isn't eatting well. No temptation to slip her a cookie or two if there isn't one. Instead try making some home made raisin oatmeal cookies or home made granola bars.

You said your son likes pizza. My son does too, he also likes the chicken pizza I make. I just cut up some chicken breast and saute it with sun dried tomatoes, garlic and lemon juice, then put it on top of a bobli pizza crust with pre-shredded cheese, usually 6 blend and add some spinich or broccoli. He loves it and asks for it at least once a week, sometimes more. It's a great way to get the carbs, some protien and even some veggies!

If my son doesn't like something, I will put a load of plain yogurt on it (which he loves), and most times he will eat more of it. If there is something your son does like which you can mix onto what he refuses, load it on! If he likes mac and cheese, mix some peas or lentils into it, if they're diguised, maybe he won't notice. If he likes tomato soup, it's probably because it's sweet; usually pre-made tomato soups have a lot of sweetener. But, you can put it in a blender (or regular tomato sauce) with other cooked vegetables or beans and he will get their nutrients without even knowing; pour the soup mix onto some pasta. My son loves peas because they are sweet. Also, potatoes are good carbs; you can cut into wedges or bake them whole, dip them into a sauce he likes. you can make your own pizzas; use the tomato sauce i mentioned above (with blended veg) and use that as the pizza sauce with cheese...make a pizza on a bagel or french bread... that's what i can think of for the moment; good luck!

Hi -- does he like to drink milk? My two year old LOVES "smoothies" (he calls them "mooies") where I mix milk with yogurt to give him extra calories and to get something else in him. He also likes the little cups of (no sugar) flavored applesauce (look to see that it's the kind with vitamin C), pudding and jello with pieces of fruit in it.

I use my son's cousin as a barometer: for about 3 years he ate almost nothing except about 8 glasses of soy milk a day. He's 6 now and fine. Not that I would recommend that kind of diet, but apparently we don't have to worry about our children's eating as much as we think.

Good luck!
B.

Dear R.,

It sounds like your son may be going "on strike" in hopes of getting a diet of only cookies. Unfortunately, the only way to win may be to never make cookies an option. Following your doctor's advice probably will be hard, but if you can, I recommend not getting drawn into your son's reaction. What I do with my son (and this doesn't work wonders, but it does sort of work) is say, very cheerfully, "Okay, sounds like you're not hungry. When you get hungry there's some chicken and peas on the table for you.

In other words, if the only foods available are healthy foods, your son will eat a healthy diet.

I also think some of the sources of protein and carbs you are giving him may be part of the problem. Things like "dogs" and nuggets are so high in salt and (even though it's not the predominant taste) sugar, that they can spoil a child's palate and make it impossible for him to appreciate healthier foods.

A few healthy-ish, kid-friendly ideas:

* Whole-wheat Mac & Cheese (the Annie's Organics brand is pretty good)
* Spaghetti with vegetables cut very small, or even pureed into the sauce
* Chicken with an "apple juice reduction" -- just fry a fillet of chicken in apple juice instead of oil, at a high heat

Finally, get him to "help" you cook. Even two-year-old-level helping -- stirring, setting the timer, etc. -- can interest a child in food he might otherwise not eat.

Hi R.,
You are not alone. My son is 23 months and is finally starting to branch out of what I called "the hunger strike." I really thought he might starve to death! He wouldn't eat a thing for what felt like months!
I agree with the dr. I got rid of all the junk, because like your son, that is all he'd cave in for. What worked for me is actually sitting down with him to eat and turning off all distractions. I used to stand for meals and clean-up while he was "eating" and the end result was him just staring at his food and whining to get out of his chair. Then an hour later he'd be starving and would head for the pantry for cookies or whatever. Now our mealtimes are more strict. I sit with him, we eat the same things, there is no TV, it's quiet, and we play games while eating. We say the alphabet, play "I Spy", or even color while sitting there.
That's what worked for us. Good luck to you! It sounds to me like typical toddler behavior! He'll grow out of it! :)
Lynsey

My daughter is picky too. I have only found one way to get a little veggie in her... and I have a few other suggestions...

My daughter likes baked ziti, so I bake it with spinach so finely chopped that it just looks like seasoning and I also mix ground turkey meat in it. Again, so finely chopped that it gets stuck on some noodles and she consumes it inadvertantly.

Also, there is a frozen ravioli with spinach in it and she will eat that because she can't see it. That's all I have for veggies, because she won't touch them otherwise.

But another suggestion is, you said he likes spaghetti. Barilla makes a protien plus spaghetti that seems nutritious, so I use that instead of regular. Also, craft has a mac and cheese that is 50% whole grain and high fiber and my daughter loves that.

I can also get her to eat a few bites of meatloaf if I put ketchup on it.

Hi R.!
I'm J. and the mother of four. Make that five when it comes to eating. My husband, no 5, would not eat some of the things I grew up eating. Like mushrooms for example. I didn't fuss when he or the kids wouldn't eat them. I just kept preparing what I knew to be good and healthful. I never made it an issue. I served very small portions to the children when they were small.
Also, I was never one to buy a lot of junk food and bring it home.
(This is my opinion, take what you can use and leave the rest.) Your doctor is right. Let your little person go hungry for a day or two. You won't hurt the sweetheart. Then offer the food you know to be healthful to him or her in small amounts, (like 2-4 green beans). When everyone is finished with dinner, etc., remove the plate calmly no matter what is left on it. Speak not a word and keep your chin up. That little body will not starve itself. Keep trying one day at a time. You can do it!
Remember, you'll do more harm to your precious child by letting them "run the show" at meal and snack times and by giving them junk food that does not nourish them properly.
All the best to you and that little sweetie!God never gives us more than we can handle. Hope this was helpful.
(My son who is now 28 still doesn't like bananas! LOL! But he does eat veggies.)
Warm regards, J.
PS Remember also, that the example you set even in the way you nourish yourself will have a profound effect on the food choices that your child or children make now and in the future.
Make a great day!! You deserve it!!

I don't think you should be doing any kind of exclusion diet unless you actually have a good reason to think your child has food allergies. I would certainly agree with your doctor that you should cut out all junk from his diet and allow him to get really hungry - it is amazing what they will eat when they have not been filled up with unhealthy snacks.
My daughter was horribly picky but is getting much better now (she is 4). The main things which helped were all eating together as a family and eating the same food. I always cook from scratch and so I know what is going into the food, and also it means you can add new flavors little by little. So, my daughter would always eat chicken, and I started to do a chicken casserole with tomato sauce which she ate as she likes tomatoes, then I started to add new things each time I did it eg a few herbs and vegetables. She wouldn't eat carrots, then she would eat them because they had been cooked in the same sauce as the chicken, and now she will eat them on their own.
Also, I have to be really careful about not allowing many snacks and making sure she is properly hungry at mealtimes - she has a small appetite and even one small cookie too near a meal will mean she won't eat her dinner.
She was underweight and like you I was worried about her being hungry, but after I started being stricter about snacks and eating at meals she gained more weight as she was eating good food at mealtimes.
If she refuses, I don't make a fuss but I don't offer anything else either and keep the meal I cooked, so that later on when she decides she is hungry I can offer the same thing later. That way she doesn't learn that she can refuse her meat and veggies and get offered sweet things instead.
Also, keep putting things on your son's plate even when you think he won't eat them. I put broccoli on my daughter's plate a hundred times - I didn't make her eat it and I didn't make a big deal of it, but I din't let her take it off her plate either. Then one day she just decided to try it and she actually likes it now.
Good luck - I know it can be very frustrating, especially when you think they are not gaining weight.

Hi R.,
I would schedule an appointment with a pediatric nutritionist. I personally wouldn't be concerned about your son needing carbs - pizza crust, spaghetti, french toast, macaroni are all carbs. Granted, if they're white flour carbs, they're not great quality, but I'd be more concerned that he isn't really getting any protein, and it doesn't sound like he's eating vegetables, fruits or dairy. I would see the nutritionist, continue putting out a variety of foods at each meal and letting him serve himself - don't wheedle, beg, offer, force suggest, and allow NO junk, snacks, cookies.
Good luck

Hi R.,

I also have a picky eater, and he's gone to bed hungry many nights when he absolutely refused to try a new food. We've finally resorted to the "one bite then no thank you" rule in our house. He has to have one bite of what I've made for dinner and then he can say "no thank you" and I'll give him a second helping of what I know he likes. He is a big drama king when he takes the bite (coughing, gagging, lots of no no no!), but he gets it down and then can move on. I'm still somewhat of a short-order chef, but it's getting much better.

As far as a suggestion to what has helped us during this picky stage, I echo the comment that another mom made about having him "help" make dinner. In our house it sometimes it works like a charm, sometimes it backfires and he won't eat a bite. But a lot of the processed foods you say your son eats (mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, etc.), you can make yourself and it will be much healthier! My son loves helping me make Pizza Muffins (use english muffins and turn them into little pizzas with pizza sauce, ground hamburger, cheese and pizza seasoning --- I try and sneak in pureed veggies into the pizza sauce when my son isn't looking) and homemade Mac and Cheese (elbow noodles mixed with cottage cheese, cheddar and montgomery jack cheese, a little pepper to taste). There are tons of recipes for homemade chicken tenders or fish sticks that are fast and terribly easy, and both of those meals your son can "help" get the chicken and fish ready to cook by shaking the bag with the seasonings.

Every meal should have some sort of fruit or vegetable offered, whether it be cut-up apples or strawberries or corn on the cob or sliced avocado. There are times when, in a pinch, I've simply handed my son a washed apple and he eats the entire apple as a snack.

I have to agree with your doctor. Cut out all of the tempting sweets and treats. Just box them up and put them in your basement or garage. No cookies, no junk food, nothing. Fruits are sweet and healthy! Instead of a cookie, offer a bowl of blueberries instead. If your son is hungry, he'll start to eat. What you can do to help is only offer healthy foods.

Dealing with a picky eater is tough - trust me, I know! Just remember that you are the one in charge and you can take control of your little guy's diet. Only offer good, healthy meals and your son will eventually get the idea.

My best to you!!

Umm, your son does NOT need carbs, his whole diet is made of carbs right now. Cookies, corn dogs, pizza, french toast, cereal, the mac in mac and cheese the breading on chicken nuggets---These are ALL carbs. Basically your son's whole diet is made up of two basic food items: dairy and wheat. Your son needs vegetables and protein. Proteins and fats fill you up the vitamins in fruit and veggies carry you through. Good fats are also important for growing bodies--things like avocado, coconut oil, fish oil, fatty cuts of meat, nuts, etc.

I agree with your Doctor on one point, you should not feed your son any junk if he is not eating real food ;) Many times picky eating is a red flag for food allergies. I suggest doing a dairy and wheat free trial. 1-2 weeks of no dairy or wheat to see if your son's pickiness improves. If you see ANY improvement, continue this for several weeks until your son eats a variety of food. Once he is eating a lot of different foods, trial either wheat or dairy and watch for any sign of pickiness. If the pickiness returns, remove the offending food again (ie if you trialed diary, take the dairy back out of his diet.)

Center your meals around vegetables with a side of meat/fish (if you eat them). If you feel the need for a carb, there are potatoes, rice, quinoa. Have snack plates of veggie sticks with roasted meat, and fruit and nut bowls available to munch on whenever anyone in the house gets hungry. Keep food that can be left at room temperature (carrot sticks, celery sticks, cucumbers, nuts, etc) where your son can reach and see it. Warm chili or soup(not canned) in a crock pot can make a good snack too ;) If your son doesn't eat during meals, when he gets hungry enough he WILL eventually eat something from the snack plate. Don't eat foods that you are restricting in front of him (Save the cookies for after your son goes to bed--unless you are brestfeeding in which case you should be on exactly the same restrictions as your son.)

Good luck.