Seeking Input Regarding Homeschooling a Child with Learning and Behavior Issues

This may sound crazy, but have you considered diet and nutrition as a source of these problems. There's an excellent website: www.blockcenter.com

She's got information about research as to how diet, including artificial sweeteners, colors, etc. and sugar, as well as other food intolerances can contribute to delinquent behavior - there was a study of prisoners and the differences in behavior and outlook was substantial when they were nutrients such as vitamin B6.

She has written a book on how a family can make the necessary changes to help their children.

There's also a video on that website that shows how one boy goes to being well behaved to being a monster in 15 minutes when injected with something that he reacts to.

Unless you have training in dealing with kids with these problems and this age, you really should not take on the homeschooling - it will likely create more problems than resolve them.

The public school systems are required to provide you with the necessary evaluations and provide him the education that will meet his needs.

I also hope that he is not aware that you believe he is creating huge problems in your marriage.

Also, you might consider contacting the Dr. Phil show. Dr. Phil can help evaluate the situation and from what I've seen they'll ensure your son and family get the help they need.

I just want to let you know that it CAN be done. It isn't easy because they often still have a lot of the behavior problems. I don't know how long he's had the habit of stealing, bad language and fighting, but if it has been a while, those habits aren't going to just leave because he's at home.

I had a very difficult son who was diagnosed with a myriad of acronyms such as GAD, ADHD, ODD and Bipolar. Homeschooling was NOT easy and we started homeschooling him in Kindergarten. However, as he got older and was getting more defiant, I put him in public school. I was often told what you were, that public schools HAVE TO offer services and work with the child. This was NOT my experience. He became much worse in public school. He struggles with dysgraphia and the school took forever to get the ball rolling on their testing (he had already been tested outside of the school, but they wanted their own). Meanwhile they did NOTHING to work with him (or me). By the time they got around to all his testing, he was a total mess and ended up hospitalized. School made it much worse than it was when he was at home. He was still in elementary (5th grade) so I wasn't dealing with worse things like drugs and some of what you mentioned. I am quite positive that had my son been around kids who did these things, he would have too. The thought of him in middle school and what he'd be exposed to terrified me. He would gravitate to the troubled kids, I know. We ended up pulling him out again and going back to homeschooling. The first year was really rough still, but his behavior mellowed out quite a bit when he hit 13. He still is a kid who learns the hard way at times. He is reluctant with school work and will not be college material if he doesn't pick up. He is academically smart, but often lazy. He'll fuss and sometimes refuse to do work he deems as unnecessary or repetitive. I have to jump through hoops to make him see why it is necessary (something I don't need to do with my other 5). BUT...he isn't explosive and violent like he used to be. He will do his chores and for the most part is respectful. He's a bit rude to his siblings a lot, but they have dealt with much worse and don't pay any attention to his rudeness.

My point is that homeschooling will not take your problems away. You have to really evaluate why he acts the way he does. If it is the method of educating him that causes his problems, then homeschooling might work. If there is a lot of other issues going on, it will probably continue to go on at home (and you'll have NO break from it). My son's behavior took the life out of me for many years. My faith is the only thing that helped me persevere (and the fact that my other kids did not have these problems and needed me).

As for government funding, the answer is no. There is no government funding for parents who homeschool.

Hope that sheds some light on the homeschooling perspective.

M.

I am not sure what your financial situation is and you did not share whether your child has been tested or whether he has been in therapy. I would do both those things if it is all possible. Private school for kids with learning differences are great here in Dallas. Often they have scholarships. Your son is at a critical age. Most boys are a pain in the neck at thirteen, and children with special needs or problems........well their difficulties are usually magnified at this age. You need to reach out and get all the help you can to help your child get on track and to help him succeed. You need help and guidance on how to help your son...from professionals. Ask the school about free programs, church programs, etc.... Instead of home schooling I'd put my energies towards a part-time job that might pay for some of these things. Sorry you are having a rough time, but keep in mind that the age 13 is difficult for every child....if you stay on it there is a good chance things will get better. That you are considering home schooling tells me you are a good mom that really wants to help her boy. Hang in There!

My cousin has a son pretty much like yours and she home schooled for 2 years and he was still on the same grade level he started out at when she pulled him out of public school. He would not pay attention, he didn't have the drive to learn, he just flat out didn't care. He is also ADHD and medicine didn't do all that much but make him lethargic...she thought she had tried everything until she put him in Karate. Karate has not only taught him self discipline, but gave him something he was actually interested in. Each belt he has earned has givin him a sense of accomplishment, and his self confidence level has raised tremendously.

I'm not telling you NOT to home school, I just wanted to share with you another Mom's experience.

I also like Patty's response about reaching out for help. one things the school's don't tell you is that you have to ASK the school to test him. Tell them you want him tested and THEY have to pay for it! They cannot offer testing for that reason, because they have to pay for it. My nephew has dislexia (spl?) and they sent him to Scottish Rite (spl?) hospital for testing, and he has had an advantage ever since, because he has the right tools to succeed now. They test for many different things, and they are not the only resource around either, there are many to choose from. Tell the school you want outside testing, and they will help you. I only know this because of my nephew, and my SIL's mom is a teacher so she was able to share this "school pay's for it" information with us.

Hang in there, it sounds like your a great mom, and I will keep your family in our prayers.

A.