Seeking Help with My Almost 3 Yo Nightmares!!

Updated on May 24, 2007
S. asks from Ballwin, MO
9 answers

Hello moms I am really struggling with my son who is almost 3 yrs. old. For about the past 3 weeks he wakes up during the night off and on with nightmares. He always wants to get out of his bed, always calls for mommy crying and has been continually saying his dreams are about mommy & daddy? I called our Pediatrician to see if this is normal or if she had any advice. She basically said it is normal to start having nightmares at this age because they have vivid imaginations. We have tried a stuffed animal and nightlight and he loves his room and loves to go to bed so we are very stumped.

My husband and I never fight around him and we always reassure him and love him so I have no idea what he is talking about and he won't really tell me anything other than mommy & daddy?? Nothing at his school has changed nor his home environment.

Any ideas or help with this issue is greatly appreciated!! I work full time and need to get sleep again!!

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So What Happened?

Hello Moms and thank you all for your great advice. We have tried some of your suggestions and my son seems to be sleeping better. I think he has been going through a growth spurt in addition to not receiving enough of our undivded attention.

Sometimes as a parent your schedule gets so hectic that you don't realize you are not giving your child enough one on one time. Thanks again and hopefully the nightmares won't return!

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi S.,
I feel for you. My son was 18 months and went through a spat of having night terrors....18 MONTHS! I know that sounds so little to have them. We went through about 2 weeks or more with him waking up screaming and even though his eyes were open he was still in a fog and not even making eye contact or anything....he was basically still asleep. I had talked to his ped. and she said he will gradually grow out of them and fade they will just stop. One thing she did tell me was since he was waking at the same time each night, try to interupt his sleep pattern a bit and stir him...just to wake him slightly about 20 minutes before he usually started screaming. After a few weeks of dealing with it, they were more spaced apart and finally 2 nights went by and he didn't have one....then about the 4th night of not waking and screaming, he did.....then that was the last of them. He hasn't had any since, he's 4 now. I know I didn't have any advice for you directly, just sharing the story. But hang in there, I know now it seems like it won't end, but it will. And it will only make you a stronger parent. A stronger parent, with more experience and a story to tell.

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J.H.

answers from Columbia on

My daughter has had the same problems, only her's have hit during naptime so it's a little better (I guess). She's woken up in a frenzy crying out for Mommy and she tells me I was gone. All I can guess is it's almost a separation anxiety thing. She's also started holding conversations with her toys about Mommy having to go to work. She reenacts the conversations that we have every morning that I leave. I always tell her that I have to go to work, but I'll see her when she gets up from her nap. I've started trying to get involved in that play with her and remind her that her toy has to go to work, but will be home later. I remember when I was really little I would have dreams that my parents were gone and I would wait for them, but they never came back. That's pretty scary for a little girl. I would say just keep reassuring him that you're there and that you always come home. Hopefully these nightmares will pass quickly for you and for him.

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S.N.

answers from Decatur on

My daughter was having nightmares and ended up we figured out it was NEMO. If we let her watch it in the evening....she would have night mares. Anyway...good luck.

S.

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N.T.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter went through the same thing. I always let her watch a short movie before bed. It is always a happy cartoon or something and that has helped a lot. I don't know if you have heard of Baby Einstein, or Boz. Boz is a movie series from Lifeway Christian Bookstore. It is really great. but those are the best for Rachel to watch at night and she goes to bed very easily now too. When she was having nightmares, she started fighting with me to go to bed, but now she looks forward to it. The good short cartoons give her "happy thoughts" and relaxes her. Bad dreams are usually activated when they are tense or had a rough day.

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E.R.

answers from St. Louis on

My kid has night terrors. She is almost 3 now, and they started at about 1.5 years. They pop up with a change in her routine or a growth spurt. So if nothing has changed...maybe he is just growing. And I don't just mean a physical growth spurt...I mean mental ones too. Their little brains are going so fast, so night terrors (night mares) are just one way they sort through all of the information.
Now...knowing all of this doesn't help you get anymore sleep.
You can do the wake him up 20 minutes before he would normally get a nightmare (but that didn't work for us b/c my kid would have them at about 3 in the morning). It got SO bad for us, that we hadn't slept in weeks, so our Ped finally told us to give her some children's benadryl before she went to bed (I wouldn't know the dosing...it goes by weight). That would help her have dreamless sleep. After 2-3 nights of that, it stopped the routine and she was fine without the benadryl. (but of course...talk to his doctor first)
Good luck.

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L.

answers from St. Louis on

S.,
My son is almost 3 and occasionally has similar nightmares, except they are more like night terrors. He will kick and scream and cry but will not wake up when you try to calm him. We just wait it out with him until he either falls back asleep or wakes up completely.
Is he getting the appropriate amount of sleep during the day? I think 3 year olds are suppose to get 11 - 12 hours sleep per day. Maybe he's over tired which makes it even more tough to get a solid good nights sleep (thus the nightmares).
Also, maybe he saw something on TV that sparked the nightmares? I'm always amazed at the child-inappropriate stuff on TV even starting at 7 pm weekdays. Even something he saw on TV that you might have thought trivial might have affected him.
Good luck.
L.

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D.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My two year old and 8 year old have been having issues too. I put them to bed and within 4 hours, they will both be in bed with me or sleeping in my room on a pillow on the floor. This happened around the time I started going to school in March. Before that, I had been a stay-at-home mom for almost a year. So my question for you is this: Has there been anything new going on at your house? Anyone working longer hours or spending less time with the little one for any reason?

If so, see if he expresses it in pictures. Have him do an art project or two and see what he draws. Maybe he'll draw what he's been thinking about that makes him have nightmares. Make it a point to spend some special time JUST with him everyday. No distractions. T.V. off, no computer, no radio..just him. What are his dreams about? You say "mommy and daddy." Have the two of you been fighting and perhaps he overheard it?

Hope this helps.

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I know this won't help you but my daughter (32 mo) has been getting up off and on for the last 6 mo. Some nights she cries out for mommy and I usually check on her, which she is still sleeping. Most nights she gets up and stands by my side of the bed trying to tap me or even crawl in our bed. I just carry her back to her room telling her she's o.k. and that she needs to go back to sleep. I usually call it a good night if she only gets up once!! It doesn't seem to bother her and now she even says before she goes to bed, "I love you mommy and don't get up!"
Anyway, anyone I've asked always says it's just a phase they go through.
Good Luck and hope it helps that you're not alone or that you're child isn't any different than anyone else's child ;)

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