Seeking Advise on Child's First Word and Binky

Hello, my name is T. and I am 53 years old with 5 granchildren and 2 daughters I have raised. My children gave up their blinkies on their own when I stopped worrying about it. It seemed that my concern made them concerned about the loss of the object. And about the baby talk, again, I would not worry. Just repeat the words correctly and slowly so they can learn how to make the sounds. Break them into phonetic sounds, make it a game. They will imitate you and before you know it will be talking a storm at 60 mph. Enjoy your new motherhood. You, like you child are new and his actions are innocent. Make notes in the baby book about the cutest words though, because when they are gone, they are gone. My youngest would not say her "y's" because it got such a reaction from my stepmother, my daughter was actually amused by her being upset. We made a game of it, but until I reread it in her baby book when I gave it to her recently, I had forgotten how special that time was and found myself laughing all over again.

Of course, on the serious side, it this continues towards the school age, have a hearing test done. That rules out a lot of concern.

Best of wishes.

I wouldn't worry about it too much as long as he seems curious about things and listens (so you know his hearing is ok). My son is 14 months old and he says mama & dada but that's it. He'll start talking soon enough. He seems more interested in walking, climbing and DOING things, so I think he's just concentrating on those things now. Your child probably is just concentrating on other developments now - talking will come - don't worry.

K.,

I agree with Marcy E. I did the same thing with my son. Every binky he had I cut a hole in the nipple. It only took a day to break him of the habit. As far as his speech, it is normal for him not to talk at 15 months. Your pediatrition should have a time chart for certain mile stones. Some kids don't talk until they are 18 to 24 months. Then they don't stop!

Good Luck!

Hi K. -

Check out similar questions from Trena and Nicole that were posted last week. I responded to both and many other moms had great suggestions too. You're definitely not alone with this issue, and there's nothing wrong with your boy. All children develop differently. The pacifier can definitely be a physical hindrance because it's a superficial security crutch. You are very blessed that he only uses it during nap and bed times. This will make breaking him of the habit MUCH easier.

Blessings to you and yours.

K., she's only 15 months. Yeah lots of baby talk is normal at this stage, even 18, even 22 even 24 months. Even later.
So, relax. If by the age of 2 she doesn't say mama and dada and maybe some other words then consider speech therapy. And speech therapy actually is a blessing. One of my girls was referred to speech therapy and it just sounded awful to me. Guess what? she's talking now, not a whole lot, she still has baby talk (i call her my french baby/no we're not french but sounds gibrish to me) and then she'll say mami comes soon, or mami comes always just perfect language.
as for binky, well, from my experience if you want him to stop using it just decide when and throw it out. yes, no trnsition period, it jujst makes them more and more frustarted. A few days of crying and then they'll relax and forget all about it.
V.

Hello! The boy's Doctor hasn't voiced concerns? My daughter's pediatrician demand that she go to speech therapy (she's 18 months now) and has been going for about three weeks. The concern for her was that she wasn't saying enough words. They also put her into PT and OT and to tell the honest truth, none of them are doing anymore than I do at home. I don't agree with the therapy but everyone medically likes to believe that there is something terribly wrong with her, but she's just going at her pace.

Well, on the verbal aspect, some boys don't talk for a long time, consult your ped and see how they feel. On the bink...if he's only using it at nap/bed time...if he's got a bunch of teeth, I say start phasing it out. Sometimes when he goes down for a nap, give him a small toy to play with instead of the bink. My daughter is 6 months and I'm phasing the bink out this way.

Hi K.,

My name is S. and I have a son named Michael who is 3.5. Michael has an epressive language delay and didn't really say anyhting at 15 months. We had a passifier and his speech teachers told us to pull it and we waited until he was three. Well, when we pulled it I couldn't beleive how much he started to talk. YOU have to remember that boys talk later then girls. Now, he is talking away. Michael's speech teachers said the the passifier was blocking his speech. SO, it's gone. It's more of a comfort for you then your child. Good luck.

K.,

My brother-in-law used this method on his daughter and it worked like a dream, maybe it will work for you. Take the binky and cut the nipple off just leaving the plastic part. Eventually he will get tired of sucking on nothing and throw it away himself. Don't give in stay strong. As for the talking thing encourage him to talk. Start off by making him watch you talk, let him watch the words come out of your mouth. Tell him big boys talk and find friends for him that are around his age. Kids playing with kids teach eachother more than we think. He will come around soon. Best of luck.

N.

My daughter, who is 17 months, is very advanced in many areas, except talking. She can say the few words really good that I have worked really really hard with her on. I think it's kinda a thing that they will talk when they are ready. As far as the binky goes, she also still sleeos with hers, and she will even play with it in her mouth during the day if I don't ask for it. But luckily, when I do ask for it, I get it with no fuss. I have read that binkys are ok and safe until around age 6 (I knwo we'll throw it out WAY before then) because that's when their adult teeth start coming in. I am expecting a new baby any day now and I figure she's gonna want his binky, so I let her have it to sleep with since it's not doing any harm, and it keeps her in her toddler bed all by herself, all night long!

My daughter was very verbal at a young age, but still had her own version of words and at 2 and a half, she is picking up the actual words for most of these now. We would always use the real word with her, for instance, meena was banana to her, but I always said banana, and now she says banana. My sister is a parenting instructor and she says that all kids sound out the words in their time...its not our job to correct them, we're just supposed to use them correctly. As far as the binky, he's still at an age that needs that self soothing device as far as I see it. My daughter is 2 still sucking her thumb...no worries, emotionally, 3 years is a good age to start pulling it away, especially, if he only uses it to sleep, I wouldn't hurry it.
Hope that helps.
VK from Lakeland, Daughter 2 going on 12!

My sone was almost 2 before he said any real words, then his first words were....."where are my shoes?"
Plain as day!

As for the binky, just take it away, he will cry for a couple nights, he will get over it. Just explain to him, you are a big boy now and you dont need it.

My son was a habitual binky user and what we did was start cutting a tiny hole in the tip of the binky. It would make it undesirable to suck on. My son would get so mad and frustrated with them that he would throw them down so we told him if it was broken then he needed to throw it away. We did this to his whole stash of binky's and he honestly forgot about them.
As far as speech is concerned, my son is also a late talker. He is 2 and a half and has just started using small broken sentences. The doctor told us as long as he seems to understand what is being said to him, and he continues to improve, not regress, then not to worry yet. He's behind in speech, but very smart. It's amazing.

Hello K.<
My name is M. and I am also a fisrt time Mom of a baby boy who is 18 months. As I have read and talked to my doctor and many other people the time when they really start saying their first words are about 17 to 18 months. Also, remember that every child is different. Read to him and talk to him not baby talk, but instead your normal talk. As far a the binky I am not sure because my son sucks his thumb. I was one of those who said "no binky" but then, came the thumb sucking and I just hope he stops before he goes to school. For now if he only takes the binky on nap times and bed time just let him be. I hope this helps. Take Care! :-)

Hi K.,

I had the same problem with my 5 year old when he was little. A friend of my suggested that I cut the nipple on the binky. I thought how is that gonna work if anything it is going to make him angry. Honestly, I did it and he did get frustrated but within a week he was completely off the binky and I was so excited. Hopefully this helps!

Don't worry too much about the words, most people worry a lot and usually there's nothing to worry about. Just be patient.

As for the binky, I had my daughter go cold turkey. I got tired of seeing that hunk of plastic in her mouth all the time. She was around 19/20 months old at the time. I just got tired of it and gathered them all up one day and put them in the garbage. She looked around for it for a few days but each time I would distract her. At night she was a little bit wrestless for about 3 days. Then she was fine and it's never again been an issue.

Hi K., I too had the same problems with my daughter talking. She turned 2 in June and she still isn't talking very well. The dr's say she will get there...but I feel she's WAY behind other children her age. So with that part, I'm not really sure, but with he binky, I had her broken from it at 10 months old. I did what you're doing...only at nap and bed time then I started noticeing when I'd go check in on her that if had fallen out of her mouth, so I would take it out of her bed and put it away until the next day...pretty soon she didn't even need it anymore. Try putting a bottle with some water in it in his bed, that way if he wakes up looking for the binky, he'll find that and drink a little water(and get the sucking action) but then his tummy will be full and he'll go back to sleep. It worked for my daughter...and I hope it will help for you.

Just a little encouragement for you. My youngest is almost 3 years old and he did not start talking until about 3 months ago. It was frustrating for so long and then one day it was like "Wow, he's talking." It came out of nowhere and now he says everything. Also, he was hooked to the pacifier (at bedtime and naptime) until just a couple months ago as well. We waited until we knew we were going to be home a while (no vacations, trips, etc.) and then we just took it away. He cried at first, but then he just got used to it. Your son is still young, I don't think you need to worry about either yet. :)

Hi K.,

The two things you mentioned, not understanding him when he talks, and still using a binky at 15 months, are normal. Boys are generally slower than girls with language skills. When he is 3 yrs old and still doing those things, you can start being concerned. Don't rush him, and don't talk baby talk to him. The more he is spoken to normally, the quicker he will learn to speak normally. He should start picking up easy words soon, like Hi, uh oh, no, etc. My grandson is 22 months, and I still can't understand most of what he says, but he does say Hi to me on the phone. The binky is a bit harder, but he will give it up when his peers tease him, if not before. If you try to force him to give it up, he will probably want it more. Enjoy your family.

My son was almost 2 before he started talking. I thought there was something wrong with him but the only thing that the doctor sayed delayed his speech was the binky. I had to take it away from him. What i did was when he wasnt looking i would cut the nipple off of one of them. I would more on hand for back up. When he wanted it i would play it out and say " oh no look what happened to your binky. its broke now we have to throw it in the trash" i then told him to throw it away and that was the end of it.

I don't have any advice on the Binky, my daughter was almost 3 before we "lost" the binky's and she took them everywhere.

As far as the talking I would not worry about it. My daughter did not start talking until after she turned 2. My pediatrician that I had at the time actually told me that he thought that she may be speech delayed and that if she did not start talking soon we would have to look at possible therapy. Well not much after that appointment w the pediatrician, maybe a month or so, my daughter started talking and almost immediately had a larger vocabularly than any of the other kids her age and much better pronuciation and clarity. I always say that she was just practicing in private and didn't want to share her words with the rest of us until she had it down perfect. So, to make a long story short, don't worry about the talking. Your son will talk when he is ready and he still has a while to go before you need to show any real concern about it. Actually one of the little boys that my daughter goes to school with did not speak until he was 3. They are all different.

Good luck with the Binky though, sorry I don't have any advice on that one.

M. N.

K.,
It really sounds to me like everything with your son is fine developmentally. I am a speech therapist and I primarily work with children, I also have a 23 month old little boy. My son still says a lot of probably what you consider baby talk, intelligible words, and words that only we understand. He actually just started adding words weekly to his vocabulary this past month. By 2 years old your son should be able to say at least 5-10 words like mama, dada, ball, etc. If your son still isn't saying many words by 2 1/2 and not putting 2 words together like "bye bye dada" then I would recommend looking into or consulting a speech therapist. But your son has over 1 year to develop more speech and language skills...right now I wouldn't worry everything sounds fine. Keep reading to him, talk about everything you see and do, and keep your own language simple when talking or labeling things (i.e. instead of saying, "Wow, that is such a big blue fish" just say "blue fish").

In regards to the binky, really if it provides him comfort and helps him to sleep I would let him keep it. There is really no harm in it especially since he is only allowed it for sleeping and not during the day. Most kids who use a binky to go to sleep usually end up spitting it out during their sleep anyway. I usually recommend to parents anytime after 2yrs old to may be start thinking about getting rid of it even up to 3 years of age is okay just as long as they are only using it at night. Also just make sure that he is using the correct size and not one that is for infants, you want to make sure that the nipple is big enough for his age, if it is too small it could affect some of his oral development. Also just to keep in mind you don't want to take the binky away too soon and then he could possibly develop a thumb/finger sucking behavior which is much more difficult to stop. At least with the binkies you can eventually throw them away, can't really throw away your thumb or fingers. :)

Good luck and if you have any other questions please let me know.
J.

I will tell you that I have a now 3 yr old that had the same problem with the binky and not talking. As someone else said, that binky will prevent them from talking but if you also do the talking for them then why do they need to talk? If you don't know what I am talking about I will give you an idea. When your child wants something does he/she point and make noises and you have to guess or just assume what they want? Do you automatically grab things for that child when they point or grunt? Thats what we did with my daughter so she didn't have to speak cause we just reacted to her motions. There is an awesome program out there for you if you are concerned with speech. It is called Baby's Can't Wait. Take your child to the Dr. and tell them you are concerned with the lack of speech and ask for help. They will have you get your childs hearing tested to make sure it is just a delay in speech. If so they will do their own testing to see if your child qualifies for their program and get your child in speech therapy. The speech therapist comes to your house (or where ever your child may be like daycare) a set number of days and works with your child one on one until they are the age of 3. They then transition them out of the program either into a school district program or other sources. If you are truly concerned with their speech I suggest you check into these things they are so well worth the efforts. My child has jumped in leaps and bounds for harldy saying anything to wishing she couldn't talk so much.

Good luck to all of you.

My case is a little different with the talking (so they say) Im bilingual and Im teaching my child the same so they say he might take longer. But it's true that kids really do things at their own time. So give some more time. I felt the same way.

On the pacifier, my son is 22 months and i just now started to decrease usage to night time only and only if he's going to bed. Take it out of sight/out of mind. At first it will be tough. he will probably ask for all day but their comes a point that they forget. I wouldn't say no binky to him because he might flip out but kind of just bring his attention to something else. Hope that helps.

hey K.

my son at 15months was hooked on a binky i did the same as u he only got at nap and bed time and when his passy broke he was 2 1/2 by then i made him throw it away and explained to him there were no more passy and because he was big enough to throw it away he was a big boy and did not need it any more so my advice is u are on the right track but when he is ready he will stop using it hoped i helped!

good luck S. r

Hi I'm not to sure if someone wrote this to you yet or not, but I would not worry on the talking thing b/c once for school I had to do a paper behavior development and it was says that children who are earily talker are more likely to grown with some type of disorder like bi-poplar or manic depression b/c the child developes faster than others so he has no other children to relate to. Also on another note my nieces were really close in age and the younger one would never talk everyone thought she couldn't untill she came and lived with me and I noticed her wisper to her older sister and she had became like her translater so I dicovered that she could talk and would ignore her till she would at least try to let me know what she wanted and if I couldn't understand her her sister could so maybe if you don't have this already find him a regular playmate it may bring his talkative side.
One other thing once again with my nieces they were on the binky way too long one was almost 4 but when they lived with me we went on the computer and look at baby pics and I told them that there were new born babies with out binkys and needed theirs and so we picked a baby to send them printed their pic and boxed up the binkys and put the pic on it and put it in the mail box for the newborn babies (I took the box out before the post lady got a hold of it though)but I think its no big deal for him to be on binky now though but if you ever have trouble that may be something to try

My 20 month old son is not yet speaking either. Well, he knows 3 words (kitty, momma, dada-just never on command-more out of the blue) By 18 months, they should know 25 words. However, speech therapists include baby talk as words (babbles certain sounds for a person or item) By 24 months, they are should know 10, 2 word sentences (ie: Mama go, Dada home, etc) I brought it up to my pedi and he suggested a hearing test. and blood work. he doesn't recommend going through the evaluation for speech issues until around 30months, as boys typically develop slower than girls.

As far as the binky issue goes, the best way is to just take it away and toss it. They may go through 24 hours of crankiness, but then, it's forgotten. Offer a sippy cup of water instead at nap time and bedtime.

My daughter had her binky in her mouth 24/7, then she had a cough and cold. She was so congested that she could not use her binky, so three days into her not using it, I threw them all out. I told everybody in the house not to say the word binky, believe it or not it has not phased her yet! It has been about three weeks now since she has used it. She is 18 months old and she is starting to speak with one word phrases.I would not even worry about it, but to help make word games up. My daughter and I say words like momma, dadda, in the car when we are driving. At first her noises were similar to what I would say, than she actually said them.

My son just turned 18 months and he isn't saying words yet. I think that if they communicate in other ways, they are fine, they will talk when they are ready.
With the binky, the sooner you take it the better!!