Seeking Advice on How to Get 3 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night

I get so shocked to see how quickly people expect their newborns to grow up. It is ridiculous to expect a 3 mth old to sleep through the night, yeah some babies do but most don't. My daughter nursed every 2-3hrs for the first 6 mths. That;s right I was up every 2-3hrs at night for 6 mths. My daughter didn't start sleeping through the night until she started solid foods, which is the case for most babies. Your son still needs those night feedings and he is hungry, why would you want a 3 mth old to go hungry at night just for some extra sleep? You need to read your son's signs and stop lisening to everyone else. If he is hungry feed him whether it’s 2am or 7 am. Until your son starts eating solid foods he really isn't getting filled up. Unfortunately, sleepless nights comes with having a baby and you just need to deal with it until your son gets older. It doesn't matter how much your son weighs. What helped me was I would nurse my daughter in bed and that allowed me sleep while she nursed. It is tough but the joy a child brings far outweighs the sleepless nights and those will pass it just takes time for your baby to grow and develop. Don't be in such a rush for him to grow up because that time goes by way too fast. Enjoy the time you have now.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi R. -

Congrats on the addition of Patrick to your family. As you will soon see, boys really do love their mommies. :)

I have a newborn plus two young children aged four and two. When my oldest, Isaac, started sleeping through the night the moment we brought him home, everyone said that it was just dumb luck. When we brought home my daughter, Bella, she did the same thing, and people still insisted it was just a freak of nature. Now my newborn, Alyssa, sleeps through the night just as her brother and sister did, and I know that it's because I put her on the very same feeding schedule as I did when her older siblings were newborns. Here's what I do...

I'm a night owl, so I don't have any problem staying up until midnight to give Alyssa her last major feeding of the evening. I breastfeed her for about 20 minutes on each breast, or until she chooses to fall off the nipple. Before I put her down to sleep, I make sure she has a fresh diaper, I rock her for about five minutes until she konks out, and she doesn't wake up again until 6:30 a.m. - 7 a.m. Now, sometimes if she has a poopy diaper during this stretch, she will cry to be changed, but once I change her, she's back to snoozing immediately.

Try feeding Patrick a good amount of breastmilk as late as you can, and see if that works. If you're giving him his last feeding at 8 p.m. - 9 p.m. and then expecting him to stay asleep until morning, it's just not going to happen. Patrick is still a newbie and since his tummy is very small and his waste management system very active (especially since breastmilk is a natural diarretic), you have to logically expect him to wake up if you stop feeding him before midnight.

Each baby is different, so what worked for my kids may not work for Patrick, but still, having this kind of success with my three kids must mean I'm doing something right. If you need some sleep, try snoozing during the day when Patrick naps. I put all of my kids down for their siesta from 1 p.m. - 3 p.m. EVERY DAY, and I take advantage of this time to sleep too. It really revitalizes me for the rest of the afternoon leading into the evening.

Blessings to you and yours.

1 mom found this helpful

A little bit about us:
My name is T. and I also have a 2 1/2 month old son named Shawn. He is now 14lbs and 24 inches long. We co-sleep together and before Aug. 25 I was breastfeeding him.

Thing we have tried:
formula (they say it will make the baby sleep longer)
sleep books (healthy sleep habits, happy child, etc.)
Cereal in the milk
taking away some nap times
making baby stay up longer after feedings or before bed time
Giving the baby baths and reading books before bed time

What was useful for us:
The sleep books are somewhat useful, but I don't believe everything that I read and my child is not by the book. That is just my personal opinion.
Also giving my son baths every night around the same time and reading him stories before nap times and bed seems to work well. It helps him to somewhat makes sense of bath + book = bed time. Entertaining Shawn before bed time and playing games helped him to sleep longer and he gets better quality sleep.

What didnt work:
Formula made no difference in how many times a night he wakes up for feedings. It didnt help my son sleep any longer then he did with breast milk. And he is a big boy, so weight didnt play a role in his sleep.
Cereal was something my mother suggested, it gave him an upset tummy and it didn't make sense to me to be feeding him cereal in a bottle. Cereal is eaten with a spoon.
Taking away naps times made him colicky. We took away too many nap times and he was so tired that he couldn't sleep, so he just cried for hours on end.

Recommendation:
Do what feels right. I spent wasteful amounts of time trying to find the key to end sleepless nights. When I realized all I had to do was pay attention to my son. What does he need, what does he want, and not to put him on some kind of schedual. I feel like a child this age isnt ready for something like that. It is hard enough for me to do the same things every day/night so why would I try and make my son do the same. I feel like when the time comes and he is older, we will be ready for scheduals. By then he will appreciate it and it will help keep him balanced through out the day/night. That's my own personal opinion. So take it or leave it. They are only little for a little while. So enjoy him while you still can. Before you know it he will be off to college or married with his own children.

I breastfed my son for 18 months and he did not sleep through the night until he was 3. Believe me, it was rough but "Through the night" is a very relative term - I really think 7 hours is pretty awesome. If you are trying to wean him from that midnight feeding, he may be waking from hunger and habit both. 3 months is still awful young to expect him to sleep 10-12 hours, especially when he is used to having mommy there to help him sleep. I would research this a little more and you may find that this is completely normal to have such a little one needing his mommy in the middle of the night still.

3 months old is still too young for sleep training. He may still be hungry. My son was the same weight at that age and he didn't stop waking up in hunger till about 5 1/2 months.
Technically your baby is sleeping through the night. 5-6 hours is considered sleeping through the night. Maybe not as we see it.

Sleeping through the night is such a controversial aubject. I suggest you read up on it and trust your instincts. You will get all kinds of advice.

My babies have all nursed through the night without either me or the babies really waking. I don't try to stop the night feedings until I start having a hard time sleeping that way, which was around 15 months old with my first 2. The combined hours is more important than continuous sleep. As you said, he has a good disposition so you must be doing things right.

Just an FYI - once babies are on solids and have teeth, it's important to clean the teeth. Breastmilk alone won't cause cavities, but breastmilk mixed with food is really bad for teeth.

I went throught the same thing. I kept thinking something must not be going as planned because people kept telling me the same thing. What I finally learned is that sleeping 5-7 hour streches IS sleeping through the night! I really don't think it even matters much wether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding. At 3 months old, they are not forming "habits" or "deciding" to wake, they do what they have to. I decided that I would just stop reading books and listening to people telling me that he shouldn't need to eat that much. Anytime he woke, I fed him. Every month that passed, he slept longer. At 6 months old, he finally started sleeping what I considered to be "through the night", from 8-6. But yes, I know people who have 8-10 month olds that still wake once a night. At 3 months old, don't worry or consider weaning any feedings. We get this mindset that they are manipulating us if we feed them at night and that just isn't true. On this planet for 3 months! What can we expect? I hate to say it, but the streches of sleep you are getting will just have to do for the next few months. It ends at some point, I swear! My son just stopped waking to feed on his own, I never denied him. He also slept in his crib since he was 5 weeks old. I still think that is easier than waiting until they are older to try to get them in there after they are use to sleeping with you. But you can decide that one on your own. Just hang in there!!
Oh, almost forgot. My son was a very restless sleeper after the early morning feeding (2am or so). That lasted until about 3-4 months old. I really think it was gas, so I started giving him the gas drops after that feeding and it helped. Don't add rice cereal to a bottle, it doesn't help and it will just constipate him. I sounds like we have very similar children, my son is very easy going, great disposition. Just give him what he wants and if things are still bad after he passes 6-8 months, then you can re-evaluate.

Hi R.. My cousin also has a 3 month old who does the same thing only she uses the nipple as a pacifier all night, doesn't like her binkie and will wake up when ever the nipple is out of her mouth. I personally don't breast feed but it sounds like hard work to me. If I were you I'd visit La Leche League International. They have a web site. Just google it. They have a helpful mom to mom blog. You should check it out. Good luck.

I also had many sleepless nights. My daughter is 9 months old now but when she was 2 months old, someone told me about the Miracle Blanket. I went online to miracleblanket.com and bought one and tried it. That night was the first night she slept 5 or 6 hours straight. I was elated. Unfortunatly, it only goes up to 4 months. My daughter still wakes up in the middle of the night every once in a while. I can definetly sympathize with you. Good Luck!

I agree that a 3 month old probably won't sleep through the night no matter what you do! However, I understand your concern that if he slept 5-7 hours before, why can't he do it everynight? Someone suggested using a bottle for that 2 am feeding?? I think that might be a good idea because it seems that sometimes when he wakes up it is just for comfort and not hunger. My daughter is almost a year old and still doesn't totally sleep through the night most nights, but I haven't had to feed her in the middle of the night for many months. I wouldn't worry too much about forcing him to skip the 2 am feeding, but if it is possible I don't see anything wrong with skipping one feeding. Something I did was instead of feeding her I would rock her. That way if it is comfort he is looking for he will still get it and you will get an idea of why he really is waking up. Good luck!

Dear Becky,
I remember this all too well. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sleeping through the night is not so much about being a certain weight or about hunger. It is more about brain development and maturity. Your baby is just now getting to the point where sleeping through the night is possible. He is also still too young to manipulate you. Breast feeding does seem to be associated with night waking with the mothers I've talked to. Formula seems to be more "fillimg" or harder to digest so babies are waking because of hunger. By all means continue to nurse, but you may want to send your husband in at night to soothe your son and give him a bottle of breat milk. Babies associate their moms with food but daddy can be more of a comfort source. If your son wakes at night to nurse for comfort this will soon stop. If he is hungry, then he can get the bottle and go back to sleep. All sorts of developmental milestones are coming up like waking up and realizing he is alone and being able to keep himself awake to enjoy your company. My pediatrician suggested getting a crib mirror and a nightlight so he sees himself when he wakes up and doesn't think he is alone. This worked!! I also recommend a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." This book is super and helps deal with all sleep problems that arise and they always do! Good luck!! K.

Congratulations on the baby, being able to nurse, AND on being able to stay home with him!!

My son (3rd child) is turning 12 mo next week and nurses. We believe in co-sleeping and I tell you that it's the only way I've gotten sleep. If I had to go to him to feed, I'd never get sleep either.

I call it his "all night open buffet". Since he was only a few months, he knew how to find "it"... 95% of time, *I* sleep through the feedings!! LOL

Your baby is growing and needs constant feedings, especially a nursing baby. Breast milk just goes right through them. You don't need to supplement with formula or cereal. Three months is GENERALLY too young for cereal. It will constipate him, especially if you cut out night drinks.

Sleep when he sleeps. Try to pump in the day so daddy can feed him at night sometimes or while you do house chores or whatever. Get SOMEONE (neighbor, teen, family, etc) to sit with him an hour or so a day or every other day... so you can get some rest.

Remember: this is only temporary!! In 5 years, you'll lose sleep because he's climbing in bed with you and in 10 years, you'll lose sleep because he's having a nightmare, and in 15 years, you'll lose sleep because he's playing his music at all hours, and in 20 years you'll lose sleep wondering if he's ok out in the world!!

At least you're not having to go to a j-o-b with matching luggage under the eyes :)

Talk to your pediatritian.

I don't know if this will help, but my son was the same way, and I was getting so tired more and more tired by the day. I asked my son's doctor and he told me that some babies are different and it will take some time. Well wasn't thrilled with that answer, I went to the internet. I had a mom advised me of cereal. She told me that if I were to try half of his bottle with formula or breast milk then the other half with cereal, he would be more satisfied, which in turn I would get more sleep. Unsure of what this mom was talking about. I went to my mom. My mom stated to me that she did this to all of her children early on. She went to the store with me, we got one bottle and one nipple, went home peirced the nipple just a little and mixed the cereal with the formula. It wasn't alot at first.( still runnie) but my son slept 8 straight hours that night. Whew!

I am writing sorta of fast so feel free to e-mail me and I can tell you the rest. Also told this to my best friend and she was very happy with the results to. Hope it helps. Good luck

congratulations on your NEW baby and for breastfeeding. YOu need to remember that your baby is still very young. Dr. Sears, states that studies show that babies as old as ten months get up to 25% of their mother's milk at night. Also babies sleep differently than adults, they aren't designed to sleep through the night. So, may I say take it from an older mom whose kids are all gone now, don't rush them they grow up fast enough. I slept with all my kids, nursing them when they woke. If you haven't tried nursing lying down do so.. Skin contact is helpful and beneficial to the baby. I had a crib with the first one - tradition you know, but not with any of the others. They nursed till around 3 yo and usually woke up early morning then went back to sleep. don't give up, and please don't give formula!! that can cause it's own set of problems.

Try doing a dream feed. Here is what I did: Rita would go to bed around 7. I usually went to bed around 10 - 11 p.m. Before I went to bed I would take her out of her crib and let her nurse without ever waking her up. Her belly was full and she slept longer. Rita slept until 6-7 a.m. from about 8 weeks old.

I wasn't able to nurse so my situation may have been easier to deal with. We used the baby wise method when guiding our daughter into her sleeping habits. Basically after you feed, keep them up for 30 minutes (getting them NOT to fall asleep right after eating can be a challenge) then put them down in theor bed. I think he is waking up and he does not know how to soothe himself back to sleep. He may be hungry out of habit or it may be because he "slacked" on his eating during the day. The best advise I have is to be consistant and firm in what ever strategy you use. Babies love consistancy. Wean him off off the middle of the night feedings and don't turn back. A few nights of him not getting a snack is all it will take for him to realize he has got to eat more during the day. Good luck - don't give up!

my son is almost nine months now and still doesnt sleep all the way through the night. It does help some nights if i feed him cereal before bed and keep a night light and music on for him. good luck , i know being sleep deprived day after day is hard.

My kids were all 6 months or so before they started sleeping thru the night, I breastfed all of them and just let them nurse a little in the night. The advise I got from my mom, was just to nap when they nap and know that eventually they will sleep thru the night.
You may also talk to the dr about giving him a little rice cereal mixed with breastmilk right before bed.

What I did with my daughter was mixed baby cereal in her milk and it helped her sleep longer.. It's a tip that my mom gave me... Good luck...

R. good luck I have a 7 year old who still doesnt sleep the night. I know how it is and they say wake them in the day as much as your exhausted and enjoy the quite time. You should. I have 4 kids and found out that eah kid did diffrently. Good luck!!!

i breast fed adin in the bed for almost at 3 years... but as he got older he didn't wake to feed but i tell ya what... it wasn't until he was about 8 months. at 3 months they're still so new. i'm of the opinion that it's ok if they need to wake up and feel the love of mom there... it's such a comfort. it does help when they're in the bed with you as far as not getting up... but i know that's not for everybody. i know you're exhausted but i don't think anything is wrong with him. he is his own person so he'll be different than any other babies as far as pattern goes for sure. i remember adin was starting to come into the 5 hour stretch right around there... so if you haven't seen a consistancy he's probably just rolling into the idea of sleepin for a while. just give it some time and i'm sure you'll be alright. sounds like you might need to make that boy eat durin the day!! and SLEEP WHEN HE SLEEPS.
much love!!!

Hi! I can understand your exhaustion and your desire for your child to sleep through the night. I, too, nursed my son and it was such a rewarding experience! I found, however, that we both got better sleep when he slept in the bed with me. That way he could nurse as he needed without a big interruption in my sleep. Its normal for breastfed babies to need to nurse more frequently than bottle-fed babies take a bottle. Breastmilk is the PERFECT food for your baby- even though that might mean nighttime feedings. He is still young to be weaning, even at night. Maybe you could work out a sleeping arrangement that benefits you both. Co-sleeping is normal and healthy - Dr Sears even agrees! May you both get the rest you need. Good luck.

Dear R.,

He is growing! If you look at the rate of growth for a baby in their first months, it is actually astronomical. Mine did not sleep until 7 months. She needed to eat!

Some say to feed early, others say not to. We ended up feeding ours at about 3 1/2 months. We started with blended bananas, and plain organic yogurt. We fed the extra stuff at night.

It is up to you, but if he is getting up and wanting to eat, then he needs it. You can do some of your own research on the internet and read all of the pro's and con's.

Deb