So far you have a lot of good advice about the kinds of things that pre-schoolers either should be learning or might learn, but I have a little different approach to it. I have a long-time background in education, both as a former teacher and mother of 7, but also going back in my family to my grandmother and mother, a master first grade teacher and reading teacher. Although my "little kids" did have fun "playing school" with my "big kids," who were 10 years older, I just don't believe in formal teaching for young children. I do believe in them learning, however!
A lot of time for children this age should be spent interacting with other children and learning how to share and collaborate. Neighborhood play groups are great, if you can find a few more stay at home moms. We had a small group and two or three times a week rotated at a different house for the morning. Two moms got "time off" and the other two watched over the kids and provided snacks. Most of the time was free play, but we also had "field trips" to a fun play park or even an age appropriate museum.
Our house was the neighborhood center for art activities. We had a wall in our garage with large piece of tack board and trays built by my husband. With paper tacked up on the board, all the kids loved to paint with poster paints, draw, and do finger painting. We also had a dress up box with left over Halloween costumes, hats, capes, and dresses and the kids loved to play dress up and also made up many plays that any parents around would be asked to watch.
Don't forget large motor activities either. You can put on some music and join in clapping games, make rhythm instruments from pots and pans, and do hopping and skipping to the beat of music. All of this is important for later small muscle coordination.
Of course you want to read aloud to your daughter, with her reading along with you. You can point out certain letters. Look! There's an "L." That's just like your name "Lisa." We grew up on nursery rhymes, because that is one of the best way to learn phonics. "The cat in the hat." "Hey, that rhymes!" "Cat and Hat. How about fat and cat. The fat cat! The fat cat sat on a mat. What about that!" Silly word games can get her started thinking of her own rhymes. You can do the same kinds of games with sounds. Shapes, colors, sounds, number clusters -- all of this should be a seamless part of every day with every child starting from birth. There's nothing particularly wrong with learning to count to a hundred or saying the alphabet, but that isn't what leads us to understanding math or reading. It's better to get an understanding of concepts, like "There are three people for lunch. Can you put three bowls on the table for our soup?" "Look, you have a red shirt on today. Can we find some red socks to match?" "Our pizza is a big circle. Let's see if I can cut it in six pieces."
My mother used to say that the children who had been coached with counting and flash cards seemed advanced on day one, but by the end of the year, all the children could read, and some of those who hadn't come with those "skills" were further ahead, because they were natural readers. She thought the children who came ready to play and share together, to sit still and listen to a story rather than having been raised on TV, who could skip and hop with coordination, and who had some broad experiences were more ready to learn, and that they usually actually learned to read faster and more fluently.
Of course learning to sit still and listen to instructions is important. You can certainly help with that by giving your daughter simple instructions, increasing in complexity, and ask her to repeat them. Getting things in order is important. "Please go to your room and get your pink socks from your drawer. Then bring them to me." Ask her to repeat what she is supposed to do. Next time, ask her to do more things in order. Sorting and categorizing is also very important. She could help sort laundry -- all the white things in one basket, or put all the socks in this drawer, and all the t-shirts in this drawer. Put away groceries: Put all the cereal on this shelf in the pantry and all the cans on this shelf. Put away dishes: Put all the forks here and the knives here. All these things can also counted, described by colors and shapes -- you get the idea.
I still believe that playing is the work of young children. And learning comes from daily life, if it is rich and filled with experiences.
S. toji
