My son Dominic is 8 years old. He was diagnosed with ADHD and BiPolar when he was 4 1/2 years old. My husband and I have been struggling with him for years now and I'm really looking for new options on pareting. How to deal with dicipline and I would really like to find a clear understanding of how a child with ADHD thinks. I need to understand why you can tell him a thousand times the same thing and he still does it, not because he is trying to defy me but because he has a disorder. I need new ways to deal with him. We're trying counseling and it's helping but I need something more. My husband and I are very torn on how to deal with the issues. He thinks he's just plain mean and doesn't care what we ask of him and I'm the opposite, I think he cares but something is stoping him from being able to go about daily life without having several problems per day. He's been on Adderall XR for 3 years and now he's on Foclain XR. I'm looking for any advice you have to give me and I'd really like to find a good book that will help me with all of the above issues.
Hi N....
I can totally relate to what you are dealing with. I have a 6 year old son with ADHD and ODD. He was diagnosed at 3 1/2. I actually have a book on ADHD...you are welcome to borrow it. I bought it a few years ago from Barnes & Noble. I'm by far no expert...but I can certainly let you know what my husband and I do with our son and what works best for us. It may help you with your son, Dominic.
There is a national group out there called NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) has a great library that you can rent from. They can give you literature about Bipolar and ADHD and help you find different support groups. As for helping with dicipline, I know consistancy is the best policy. Your son is not trying to be mean but he does need rules to guide him. My son has both Bipolar and ADHD. He's been in counciling, too, and it does help. Make sure his treatment plan includes behavioral quidelines. His therapist can help. Good Luck.
I have a son that is also ADHD/ODD and gifted. We just met with a new counselor that mentioned that Boys Town offers a Common Sense Parenting class for parents of kids with ADHD. From what he was saying it is different from the regular Common Sense Parenting class. If you are in the Omaha Metro area you can call Omaha Home for Boys they offer classes there that are less expensive. You can also call Boys Town to find out where they offer them. Good luck (As I type we are in the middle of a ODD moment :( ) If you find out more helpful information I would love to hear about it too. Thanks
Hi N.,
My name is J. and I have a daughter, 13 years old with ADHD, Bi-Polar, Reactive Attachment, and ODD. I can relate what you are going through. My daughter just spent a year in treatment in group homes and residential hospitals, we have had ongoing therapy for over a year and continue to do so. The book "The Explosive Child" is not about ADHD, but I found it helpful in discipling with empthany and understanding. I would be concerned about medicating a child who is Bi-Polar with ADHD medication. Before we found out my daugher was Bi-Polar, we had been medicating for about six years with ADHD medication, we have tried them all, and the end result with our daughter was physcosis. I am not an expert in this area, just an experienced mom. We have been dealing with it for many years. It might be something to ask your child's doctor about. My daughter is now being treated with Abilify and it seems to to be best medication we have tried so far. It is an all around kind of medication, it helps with physcosis, it is a mood stabilizer and helps the impulsive behaviors caused by the ADHD.
If you have PLUK (Parents Lets Unite for Kids) in your area, they have been a great resource for me as well. If you haven't looked into NAMI yet, I would highly recommend at organization as well.
I feel your daily frustrations and can relate more than you know. Always here if you need some support. I think when we face the frustrations of parenting a child with any kind of behavior disorder, the hardest thing to have is empthany, but it is can be most effective. Don't give up.
Advice I don't have, but I can surely recommend Dr. Sears' books. He has several out, of course the only one I have is "the baby book" because I only have a baby. But he does children's books too. He has a very gentle way and focuses a lot on attachment parenting. If that's your style, I'd check out one of his books. Good luck Mommy. You're doing great. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
My son also has ADHD and he is medicated with Concerta. I have ADD so I know what he is going through except for the hyper part. I can't sit and read a book as it will put me to sleep. I have a hard time too of telling him to do something, especially in the mornings. I know structure is a good thing but when I have add it is very hard to do structure. I'm not on any meds for add but just for depression. My son saw a resident Dr last year and he helped with the tempers etc. He used breathing exercises and a game simular to baseball. He said my boy has to stop and think of the prob (1st base) he is having and than him and I come up with different solutions. (moves to 2nd base) I pick one of the solutions 3rd base and he either goes for it or we have to try again, than he goes to home plate. That seems to help and make him think. But I think the deep breathing helps him too. I also believe in laughter. Jokes at each other. Good luck!
Hi N.
I also have a son with ADHD. I have read books about it and have done everything in my power to learn about it. I have been in couseling with my son, he takes Concerta and its been working so far. Before nothing work not even applying what I have read on those books (I'm not saying that you should not read about it) my son is 11 years old now and I have enrolled him on band on his school and he is learning to play the thrumpet this has showed him some respect, discipline and makes him focused on his work. He had learned a lot since being on his music class and trust me practicing have him occupied on something which is good. I know that this that I'm saying won't help you a lot but try to have him occupied on something he likes maybe swimming, baseball, basketball or some sort of activity it might work. Good luck and never give up. You can always count on me for anyhting. W.
