Screaming 9 1/2 Month Old

Updated on May 08, 2008
T.M. asks from Bethel, AK
22 answers

My 9 1/2 month old is a screamer. I don't think he is in pain but he might be. He was a colicky baby until he was around 4 months and then he seemed to be content for 3 months, and now he is back to screaming. The screaming seems to be different now though. He is getting a few teeth in, but it seems like he is mostly wanting attention. I spend plenty of time with him, playing with toys, singing, reading etc.. It just seems like it is not enough for him. Do you think he just wants all eyes on him all of the time, or is something really wrong. He wasn't ever a great nurser, and now he is on formula, but will usually only drink 2-3 ounces at a time. He generally likes and eats plenty of table food. I am just at a loss, and this sweet little guy is making me crazy. How do you "discipline" a 9 month old??? Or do you just let him cry? Thanks for any ideas.

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G.H.

answers from Richland on

I have heard that SOME chiropractors that know how to work gently on infants can eliminate colick. Something about the trauma of going through the birth canal. I'd give it a try if you know of one you can trust.

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A.B.

answers from Richland on

Babies don't scream without a reason. It could be his formula. Many children are allergic to cow's milk, if that's what's in his formula. My grandson did that. My daughter tried changing his formula several times but she always used ones that had cow's milk because that's what her doctor told her to do. When I had him one weekend I went and got a soy formula and gave it to him. That was the end of his problems. You might give it a try.

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B.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi T.,

So sorry to hear about your situation. I'm not sure if this will help, but have you considered teaching your son sign language? He's just at the right age to give it a go and have success rather quickly (my first child signed at 10 mos old and my second first signed at 11 mos old). By teaching him to use signs, you may find it reduces his frustration and allows him to communicate what he wants/needs rather than using his screams to communicate. I suggest you start with signs for MORE, ALL DONE, PAIN, PLAY.....and maybe EAT, SLEEP and DRINK. You can always go beyond that....but given your situation I think those would be great starters. I suggest you check out www.babysigns.com for more information. Many of their products are sold on Amazon for very reasonalbe prices. Some other suggestions would be to try help him focus his energy on learning a skill (like signs) but you might also want to consider gross-motor...like helping him craw, stand, or learn to pull himself up on a couch or master one of those stacking toys (Fisher Price Rack-A-Stack)or something. Could be he's crying from boredom and trying to master a new skill will keep him occupied. Although I do NOT reccommend them to be used a "baby sitter"...you could also try the use of a video (like Baby Einstein...Baby Signs also makes videos) to see if that gives you 30min-1 hour of freedom. I know this seems like a tough time...but some of the best advice my husband and I received was, "And this too shall pass." Remind yourself that this behavior won't last forever. Enjoy this precious time with your son.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

He may be frustrated that he can't communicate. There are sign language kits you can buy that help you communicate with your toddler (or about to be toddler). This may help the screaming problem. You can also then find out if his tummy hurts (maybe he has digestive problems that are very painful) who knows.

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J.G.

answers from Seattle on

Welcome to my home! Sounds just like my 9 1/2 month old darling daughter! I just continually console her without picking her up (she too has an older sister - born in 2005). I keep her nearby in a playpen or exersaucer reassuring her that she is fine - sometimes she actually calms down unless I peek my head around the corner (usually I am getting ready for work and she is right outside the bathroom door!). I totally believe it is an attention thing (if it stops the minute you pick him up). If he continues to scream once you have picked him up it is something else but if not, (as with my daughter) it seems to be her "newest" form of communication as it stops the second I get near to her which tells me there is no pain - she sometimes even giggles after I pick her up! They know more than we give them credit for. Good luck - I know it is not easy - and makes your head feel crazy!

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D.J.

answers from Portland on

This really brings back memories. I have a 16 month old but, when she was around 6 months, she too cried a lot. I thought something was wrong with her so I was constantly calling the advice nurse... In the end, I found that nothing was really wrong with her but, rather she was used to me doing what she wanted at the drop of a hat... Anyhow, I started to let her cry and although it bothered me at first, I got used to it and she began to get it! I know that not all babies are the same but, doctors continuously say that it's ok for babies to cry! We mothers have a hard time with that! But, be sure that you know it's nothing before you do that! Good Luck.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

Good Morning T....well my response is a combination of the other responses. Of course, you should rule out any medical reason that might be causing the screaming. Having said that, I'm always amazed at how young kids learn that they have the ability to manipulute the suckers in their life (us mommies...lol). If every time he screams you come running and he gets all kinds of attention, then guess what? He's made a mental note of it...lol

L.

PS I'm a sahm to 9 and 5 year old girls.

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E.L.

answers from Seattle on

My baby went through a screaming phase too. If he's okay otherwise, perhaps that's what yours is doing too.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I think it's possible that he's discovered a new skill, that he can scream. And so he screams for several possible reasons: he can do it; he likes the sound; he's testing to see if he can do it everytime he wants to do it He may be trying to scream in different ways.

Some babies are screamers. They outgrow it. I don't know how to stop it but I can make a couple of suggestions that work with other behaviors. 1) never, ever pay attention to the screaming. That's a form of discipline called extinguishing behavior. 2) another way is to leave the room, always. You might need to put him in a safe place first but then leave without acknowledging the scream. or 3) put him in his room and tell him you'll come get him when he's stopped screaming.

Good luck! I too get tense when babies scream in restaurants. And you are living with the screamer and the scream.

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S.M.

answers from Eugene on

My daughter is 10 1/2 months old and she too will start screaming for no reason...mainly seeking attention or out of frustration. We have started to put our finger up against her lips and say "sshhh". She will immedietly stop screaming and has started to say ssshhh too. It appears that we have turned a negative action into a positive one. Give it a try and see if your son reponds the same way.

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K.L.

answers from Eugene on

I would say, a 9 month old shouldn't be disciplined or left to cry, he's not manipulating you. Take him in to the pediatrician and get him checked to make sure there is nothing physically wrong that is making him cry. Is he getting enough other liquids and peeing enough? Does he maybe have an allergy to some of the table food he's eating? My mom told me that for the 1st 22 months I wouldn't let her out of my sight without crying and I know that my son, who is now 26 wanted to be held almost constantly until he was about 13 months. If there is no medical problem I would say that you need to find a way to hold him or carry him as much as he wants and if there is a medical problem you will need to do the same. Maybe a front carrier or a baby backpack would help, because then he could be near you and where the action is. Hold him, love him and listen to him. He's telling you what he needs.
Hope this will help. K.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hey T.! You know, it is hard to say with a 9 1/2 mo. old, but if it were me, I would go to the doctor first and get him examined and rule out anything physically wrong, then you can start the discipline....which would be to let him cry it out....I think he may want to just get your attention, and if it works for him...why would he stop? So If you ignore the screaming...it will eventually stop. Good Luck!

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

My 10 yo screemed until she was 2years! I honestly don't remember enjoying her/bonding until she was 2. The only thing she would sleep in was the swing. We used to call it the neglect-o-matic because she was in there so much. I still don't know why she cried so much, I think something was wrong but the doctors insisted she was healthy. Do not discipline him, at 9 months you redirect where he is going and say no.
We have a rule in our house that when you get frustrated, angry, depresed, ect. you have to put the baby in her crib. He will be safe there if you need time to collect or need hubby to step in. Check with your doctor and have him tested for everything they can think off. If the doc doesn't take you seriously take him to another one. Maybe follow that with a natropath.
You said you think he might just want attention, does he stop when you hold him? If that is the case you may want to look into a baby wrap. They are cheap to make and comfortable for both of you. Here is a great site http://www.wearyourbaby.com/Default.aspx?tabid=121

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

How long has he been on formula? Could he possibly have an allergy to the milk from the formula? The other thing is some babies teethe bad. My first was a gem. My second was a totally different story. A screaming fit until they broke through. He is also getting to the age where you leaving from the room is like you going to somewhere and never coming back they thin kyou will be gone forever and it feels that way. Your older son may not have been like that but the younger one may be more clingy so even if you are playing withhim he still may want mom all the time. Mine were flip flop with that. My older one always needed me in the room i tool him into the bath room with me to shower until he could walk then i would only get to shower if a friend was over and would sit with him but he still screamed. He could never play alone. my yougest could care less most the time if i walked out of the room unless he was in it with out his brother. So it could be a number of things really i would do so trial an error things to see what may trigger it.

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S.B.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter's twins were acting in a similar manner. They would take 2-3 ounces of formula and then fuss and cry and carry on. Turned out they had reflux. They are on medication now, for it. I have acid reflux, and it is very painful. Do check with your pediatrician. If your little guy is not tolerating the formula well, a change might be in order. My little twinnies now use a lactate-sensitive formula and are doing much better.

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D.V.

answers from Richland on

Does he spit up at all? Or mostly cry during/after bottle feedings? Just an idea, but he could have acid reflux, especially if he was crying a lot when younger. My son cried a lot between 2 and 5 months and was spitting up a lot, and I would have never known it was acid reflux if a friend's baby didn't have it too, I suppose it would've been chalked up to "colic." Lucky for us it went away, but I've heard it can last a lot longer.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

I was there! Oh my was I there. How long is your patience?

My daughter was a screamer--mainly temper-tantrums from six months on. It was difficult. She screamed from six months to six years. During the difficult twos she screamed twenty four hours a day.

It finally dawned on me that she was screaming because her body could not do what her mind wanted to do--and she did every thing early--road a trike at 2, rode a bike at early 5, wrote her name at 4, etc. And she gave up napping at 18 months.

That might be happening to your son. If that is it--there is nothing to do but live through it. Keep him busy, busy, busy. Keep in touch with your doctor. I also had my daughter in a co-operative pre-school at 12 months. As she got older she went more days. That was helpful.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

I had similar issues with my first child, I literally could not put him down for the first 2 years of his life! We could not assertain why @ the time, he cried alot and could not bear not to be held.

With time we discovered a few things....one he was sensitve to all kinds of foods even in my breast milk ( dairy, wheat, orange juice were big ones) We removed those and it got some what better. Also going to chiropractic seemed to help since his spine and jaw were a bit out of place.

Some how we got through the first 3 years of his life. What I did not know until much later was that yes he was in pain from the allergies which we fixed @ the time, but later when we got more indepth body work done on him he suddenly had a strange feeling he had never had before.....What the feeling was as he discribed it to me was simply the absence of a head ache.

He had had lots and lots of molding of his scull when he was born and it had never taken up a completely round shape. ( not so much that you would notice or any medical doc would have said anything, but enough I could feel it especially the one area that was almost so flat that a book would be flush with it if you had laid it against his head)

He literally had had a head ache everyday of his life. It was just a matter of how much of head ache. He still has head aches and we still are getting work done on him, however it is continuing to improve. I wish I had have taken him to craniosacral work when he was a tiny baby, likely he would have done much better. I did take my youngest when she was 3 days old and since as well.

I too as a baby screamed and screamed, and I too had head aches every day of my life, only this was until I was about 35 years old. I simply did not know what it felt like not to have one, but I am so glad that I do now.

I also am glad that although my mom did not know how to fix it, she did hold and comfort me and never made me cry it out.

Perhaps your little one could be helped by eliminating allergens, and chiropractic or craniosacral or other body work. You little guy may also be allergic to the formula, so you might try goats milk or find a mom who can give you her mama milk, often kids are not good nursers because of the kinds of issues I am discribing to you, so that is another clue to say he may need that type of work.

It is not normal for a child to cry like that, something is wrong even if a Doctor cannot tell you what. Keep searching, both of you deserve answers!

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H.S.

answers from Anchorage on

I would make sure he's getting enough liquids (formula at this age if not breastfeeding). I had a few difficult days with my son at that age and once I figured out that I had to keep offering the bottle until he took enough, he went back to being his usual happy self. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi T.-
My daughter started seeing a chiropractor when she was about 2 weeks old. I have spoke with him at great lengths in regard to screaming/crying babies. He told me that some children do this because they are in pain. They have no other way of expressing themselves so they do what they can to let you know. My now 16 month daughter, has been sick once and is very happy and well adjusted. I am not sure if this is the solution to you situation. If you have a chiropractor in your area you can trust it might be worth having a conversation them. You can make your decision with more information. I wish you the best with you and your little one! God Bless!

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C.L.

answers from Seattle on

My 11mnth old is the and has been the same way! Especially on the rare occasion that we go out, we always get a call from the sitter saying that she wont stop crying. She screams like someone is pinching her. BUT she is just fine! I always just keep doing whatever it is I am doing and pick her up when I am done. It seems a lot less now. As long as I know she is alright then I can stay calm and just talk to her while I do my chores. Crying (screamimg) never hurt anyone. :)

I guess I dont really have a solution but I thought you might take comfort in knowing that someone else is going through the same thing!

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

T.,
I'm wondering if he's over stimulated or having a food intolerence. Perhaps the formula isn't what he needs. If he's eating table food, you probably don't need to give him the formula.
Check with your pediatrician about this.
Like you said, the screaming could also be from teething or perhaps he's not getting enough sleep.
Clothing tags can be annoying too. If those are in the clothes, try cutting them out.
Best of luck.

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