Scared to Have a Much Needed Surgery.

I work in HR. First, you need to talk to the company. Find out when is a good time to get the surgery. Second, get the FMLA paperwork. You will need to give it to your doctor to fill out. He has to say what the surgery is for and for how long they anticipate you being out. Does your company have S&A? That is Sickness and Accident insurance. If they do, after the 7th day, you will start receiving a check. The time duration is dependent on how long you have been employed there. FMLA is unpaid leave. It allows you up to 12 weeks off and the company cannot replace you. Your job is not guaranteed, but your employment. Please follow ALL the directions given to you by the company. Should you not, then FMLA is not going to protect you. Generally with this type of surgery, the company would want the paper work before hand. Again, please talk to the HR department. There could be benefits you are not aware of that you would qualify for. Look, your health is the most important thing. What happens to your child if something happens to you???

I commend you on your support of your sister and her kids. However, your responsibility is to you and your son. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her. You really need to think about your health and your son. Good luck. You will be in my thougths and prayers!

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I'm sure you are worried, but your job can't fire you over you needing surgery. I don't think there are many companies out there that have that little compassion. Just let your boss know what's going on and I'm sure they will understand. If anything, they can hire a temp to cover your position until you can return. You can even suggest that as well. If they fire you over this then have faith that the Lord (or whatever you believe in) will take care of you always.

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FMLA laws may apply if you work for a large enough company. You probably want to check this out with your company. They can not let you go if you are on an FMLA approved leave. Many people don't know how FMLA works, but its not as complicated as it seems.

I am sorry you are going through this and I will say a prayer for you and your family.

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First of all depending on the number of people at your company, employers usually do not release people when they go out for needed surgery. That is unless you have a history of missing work already. I would say if that is your fear, talk to your supervisor and let them know that you need the surgery and the amount of time you will be out. If your surgery and the job can co-ordinate whereas you are not leaving them at a busy time, great. Discussing this in advance will let everyone know where they stand.

With regards to the tumors. I would strongly suggest that if you have not had a second opinion that you get one. I spent lots of money and time with the same diagnosis. Sex was painful and my doctor had me taking lazer treatments in his office to burn the tumors off. This went on for over two years and one day he brought four medical students in to observe him operating the lazor. Problem is he didn't ask if he could bring them in the room. There I sat open to all. Well that we very humiliating so I sought another doctor and that is when I requested a hysterectomy as I was tired of the lazor treatments and several weeks of recovery in between without sex, so the hubby was not happy at all. I was tired of being in pain. After reading my file my new doctor agreed to do my hysterectomy. My tubes were already tied so having more kids was not part of the problem. Long story short I awoke to be told by my new doctor that he did not find any tumors, cancer or anything but an enlarged uterus. Turns out my uterus never went back to it's normal size after my last kid. The pain during sex was that my husband was bruising my uterus. I honestly feel that my doctor used me to pay for his Mercedes. Our health industry is designed for doctors and insurance companies to make money not for you to get the best health care. Therefore, always get a second opinion. Good luck and God bless you. Know that your health is more important than any job. God is the source of your strength and we must walk by faith and not by sight.

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LR,
You do have a lot on your plate. Strange as it seems, the hysterectomy may have a better outcome with less recovery time than the myomectomy. I would follow up on the advice to check the fmla laws first to alleviate your fear of being fired. Take some time to get some counseling from others who have been where you are, take a deep breath and get it done. All that bleeding must be leaving you anemic and feeling awful.
I have had a complete hysterectomy and it took me about a week to feel OK and and by week 3 I was back to work in a high stress, high activity job.
My best post op advice is get out of bed!!! And walk, walk, walk. If you are obese you need to avoid any clots or pneumonia. The abdominal pain of the first day makes it seem crazy to get up, but only walking gets your intestines moving to get rid of the gas pains.
Good luck with all of this.
KathyC

Are you positive you need the surgery? I heard on the Dr Oz show, or maybe the Doctors not sure which one, a couple of weeks ago that fibroids can be controlled and decreased in size via a controlled diet. Surgery isn't always necessary. Just thought I would throw that out there.

Dear LR,

Your health is defenitely more important. Too many people are depending on you now. Is FMLA available where you are? If you sign up for FMLA, your employer has to hold your job for 90 days. After that time, they can require that you re-apply for your position. Now, I know that it is very difficult to even think of being off work for the time necessary, but you have to know that the Lord will never leave you alone. He will always be there for you and your family. He knows exactly where you are and what your needs are. Just say a prayer and put yourself and all your needs in His hands. He will take care of everything...how do i know, i have been there! My faith carried me when i was earning only $5.50 per hour and paying for my house, insurance and raising four beautiful girls. Thank God for all His help! God Bless you! Trust in Him! :)

Please put your health first and have this done. Can you explain to your boss that you'll be an even better employee when you're rid of this condition. Bless you and the best of luck.

trust in the Lord with all your heart. if you do get fired pray for a better job. this is a surgery not for vanity but for need. get it done take care of yourself and show your son that its important. i pray that God brings peace to you.

I had a myomectomy as well, and then 5 years after having my daughter, I needed a hysterectomy for fibroids. The Dr. did the laproscopic version, taking my uterus, and leaving my ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervic intact. I was 7 years older and overweight as well,and very anemic. The laproscopic surgery was a much easier recovery and I felt so much better after the recovery. I still have a monthly cycle, but without any blood. So do yourself a favor and for your son as well, take care of yourself. Get a really good ob/gyn and schedule that surgery, perhaps right before the school holidays, so that you won't have to make sure he gets to school, etc while you are recovering.

Take care and God Bless you!

Hello L R,

I say take care of your health. The economy is not in such a bad shape as the world wants us to believe. Yes, it is hard for some families because so many people have lost their jobs and has caused a burden on many families. Your health should be your main priority. First of, review your time at work...I'm not sure what type of Benefits you have but if you have PTO (Paid time off) & Sick bank and enough time that could cover you for 3 weeks, you should be OK. I say find out what you have available, talk to your HR recruiter?? again, I don't know where you work and discuss your situation with them. Find out your options and go from there.
If you allow yourself to panic, you are not going to help yourself get through this. Don't assume the worse, think of it as you are getting your health right and you need think positive. Life goes on and I know it may seem scary right now, but take a look on the bright side, pray and stop expecting the worse.
No need to apologize just think about your health and getting back on your feet. You said that you have diabetes & obese, have you thought about asking your doctors if the gastric surgery can be done or will it be too risky.

There was this lady who work at my company, I live in Houston and work at one of the largest Cancer Hosp and so many staff here have had history of medical problems and in turned still had the surgery. Simple, just a statement...ask your doctors whats the risk...it may work out in your favor, while you are out on leave.

Take care and good luck,

Anita V.

One of my closest friends battled the same problem for years, and finally chose a vaginal hysterectomy to avoid any further complications. Yes, I know, sounds strange, but the pros far out weighed the cons. It left her ovaries, was done as an outpatient procedure, and the down time was only 3 days! Not sure if that is an option for you, but it's something to ask your doctor about.

Dear L R,

It is good that you are unloading. We women hold on to so much and take care of everything and everyone and we NEED to unload.
There is a great book - Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, MD. She writes about uterine fibroids; She herself had one. Her other excellent book for women 35 and up is The Wisdom of Menopause which is also excellent and has a section on uterine fibroids.
Sending you strength and healing thoughts!

D.

God will provide, He always does!! Your health is more important and sounds like you are needed!!! Risk it and take care of yourself!!!! Who knows, you might not need to out of work 3 weeks!!! Take care of yourself YOU are more important to your son than money!!! Best of luck to you and hope you have a speedy recovery!! Hang in there!

You can have the doctor write a letter to your company that will get you on the short term disability as you probably know. The company knows you can sue them if they try to fire you or make up an excuse to let you go. I would try not to worry about that. Your son needs his Mommy and he needs you to be healthier so you can do more things with him. Your health is first priority. I know this is very scary. I have never been through it, but I am also 37, divorced, not dating and overweight with a 12 and 10 year old at home. My aunt when through this, she nearly bled to death on several occasions, she was terrified of losing her job and healthcare because her husband was disabled and needed the insurance even worse then her.

She did it and is so glad she did. Her fibroids where something like 5lbs each I believe. She like me is obese, she was 48 when she did it. She has no regrets, I want to say she stayed home 2 weeks and then went back to work and it is a physical job, but she managed. I would get a 2nd or third opinion on your options. My thoughts are would you really want to start fresh with a baby at say 38 or 39? I have thought about this a lot and honestly, I love babies, but I will love my Grandbabies and I don't have to watch them full time! Also I will be free in another 6 to 8 years to travel, maybe move to another country for a year, work there and experience more culture just live and enjoy life. Also what if I meet someone with kids, I can always love his kids and take care of them. Not to mention so many children need to be adopted and no matter what anyone says if you raise a child as your own, it is yours period. I don't know if you watch Biggest Loser, but I highly recommend it, after maybe about 5 episodes it starts to motivate you to want what they have after losing weight, I want to feel better, I want people to see me differently,I know my life can be better I just have to take charge of it. You can too. I will pray for you L R.

Take care!
Ali

Good morning L R....I have a cousin who suffered from these fybroids also....and had the same problem as you....she had gone to an herb store and the lady recommended her to drink "RUDA" tea everyday...and she did...what this herb does is that it dissolves the fybroids and gets rid of them....I don't know if u take any other meds...but if u do u should find out if this tea will interact w/the other meds that u may b taking...my cousin did not have any other medical condition nor does she take medications for anything.......although its a natural tea there can affect ur other meds. Hope this helps....hope u feel/get better soon...

Although a job is an unfortunate necessity these days, don't you think your health is more important? If you get fired, you may have a case against them for firing you due to having to take off for medical reason. Don't be afraid. While it sounds cliche, there are other jobs available, you're health is what's most important. Good luck.

I agree with several other posts on here. You have to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of your child like I know you want to. I am 34 and had a total hysterectomy in June 2009. (Just a few months ago) I had a ten lb unterie tumor and cysts on both ovaries. I felt drained...periods were torture...headaches all the time. Some days I didn't even want to get out of bed - but did because I have a full time job outside the home and three little girls who need me. I feel so much better since I had the surgery. I have lost 40lbs, my headaches are not very often, and my energy is coming back. I take Premarin to combat the hot flashes - which is no big deal considering what pain I was in before! I was in the hospital for four days and missed three weeks of work. I am fortuante that I work for a small company who was willing to pay me my full salary after I exhausted my one week of vacation I had just earned. My mother came and stayed with me on the day I was released and left the next day. She has her own family to care for now. (don't ask) So this left me to care for my abdominal incision and three little girls alone. It was a challenge but my oldest (she is 11 also) stepped up and helped me in ways I never thought possible. She is amazing. It was scary. It was painful for the first few days. It was challenging to go it alone. BUT I would do it all over again if I needed to! Good luck sweetie! Depend on those who depend on you for once!

If you work for a company with more than 50 employees, then you qualify for FMLA. Talk to the HR department and talk to your boss. You will need to complete all the necessary paperwork beforehand. If your recovery time is only going to be 2-3 weeks, then no half-way intelligent employer would terminate your employment just because you are gone that short of a period of time. Think about... how realistic is it for them to find, hire, and train someone else to do all that you do in 2-3 weeks? And how much is it going to cost them? Take care of you!

Hi there,

Here is a little informationI am not sure you are aware of. If your company employs 50 plus employees then your job is protected by the Family medical leave act and by law they have to hold your job for up to 12 weeks.

I am not sure what your relationship with your boss is like, could you possibly approach him/her and discuss your situation and ask him/her when it would be less of a problem fo rthe company fo ryou to have the surgery that you do not want to have it done but it is very necessary and that you are concerned about your job.

I just faced a similar problem,I started a new job and then found out I was pregnant. i waited as long as I could to tell my boss. Cause myself alot of unnecessary stress, when I eventually told her she was all smiles and has hired a temp to helpout now until I come back from maternity on 2/21/10.

I will be praying for your situation, fo rGodsstrength and grace to get you through. " For I know the plans I have for you declares h eLord, planstoprosper and not to harm."

Take the time and money to get a second and a third independent opinion to help you make the best decision possible. If surgery is the best option, then do it and trust in the Lord. Pray for wisdom beforehand. What would be the better of the 2 evils, stay sick for a bit longer - what are the long term consequences and worse case scenarios? Or, take a chance to hurt yourself financially - what are the long term consequences and worse case scenarios? What can you emotionally and/or physically handle right now? What do you know for sure will happen if you do or don't have the surgery? We worry about the what ifs, but also pay attention to the for sures! Is your son old enough to include in the thought processes? You might be surprised what he wants. Keep in mind that if you are regularly sick, missing days, or not doing well at work - you could lose your job too. Have you talked to your boss about it? How it would help you be a better employee? How does he/she feel about it? That will give a good heads-up on what their take is. Consult with a lawyer beforehand? My grandpa used to say that if it only costs you money, it is a cheap experience (and his life drastically changed during the depression). So, as hard as financial distress is - coming from a man who "lost it all", that is a profound statement to keep you grounded.

My sister has this condition. I am so sorry you have to go through it, too. She has tried to manage it with diet and chiropractic care and has had some success, but I imagine she is headed down the same road as you.

Lots of others have told you about FMLA (and I saw no misinformation). I would just advise that you be vigilant about keeping on top of and copies of your paperwork. That is what will give you recourse should your company be an unscrupulous one. Most companies are not going to be quite so heartless, though.

I think you're also going to have to have a talk with your sister. Unless she's incapacitated, she needs to be pitching in and this is the perfect time to address it. Please do take care of yourself. You deserve it.

Hi L R, Years ago I had fibroids in breasts and uterus. I began an alternative therapy with a naturopathic dr. I no longer have fibroids anywhere, have periods which are not at all uncomfortable or heavy or anything. I am 53yrs old. I have never had fibroid surgery. I havent taken prescription drugs for any female issues for the last 10 yrs. If you would like more info I would be happy to help. HTH.

Hi LR
Where did you get this info about loosing your job when on medical leave?As far as I know they can demote you but it must be the same pay?Again I am not sure of this you probably know more that I do.From what you have written this either is or can be a threat to your life.If you dont get this corrected you wont be able to work anywhere.
I am sure you will make the right choice
Much Love and Luck
To you and yours

Please, please have your surgery especially if your doctor is telling you so with major concerns for worser problems. I had a cyst the size of a regular orange after a year of going back and forth to the doctor and having ultrasounds. I was doing temp work at the time and my assignment ended right after I was told I would need the surgery. My son (5 at the time), husband, and knowing God had more for me to do in this life motivated me to have a laproscopy/surgery. I was SCARED too by it being my fist surgery. Those are times when you have to go into a situation with prayer and hope and leave fear behind. My Dad told me several times that "as long as you are blessed with good health you can always make a dollar". I went into surgery 2 weeks before Christmas over ten yrs ago with love from the Lord, family, and my Daddy's words. I had a laproscopy with an incision made on my bikini line to remove the large cyst from my ovary. I was tired of pain, urinating all through the night. Little sleep and looking as though I was in my 1st-2nd trimester!!! I've had no problems since then, found a job 6-7 weeks later, had another child 2yrs later, and doing great now. Don't stress yourself out!! Stress can add more to your existing problems or bring out a new one. Stress is very hard on our bodies especially women. Find someone you trust who can look after your children, set a date, fill out and submit all necessary paperwork to your job (I did FMLA), pray sincerely, have your SURGERY. You will be just fine. Your health and life comes before any job. Much love and take care of yourself!!!

Have you asked your doctor about a laproscopic hysterectomy? Minimally-invasive and heals relatively quickly (relative to having all the muscles in your abdomen cut), and you'd have no more periods, ever. You could have your ovaries left intact, so you don't go through menopause right away (a heart attack risk and one that triggers bone thinning in many women)...

I am an optimist, and always assume everything's going to turn out fine... so I'd have it done, on medical leave, and assume that if my employer was so dense to fire me, it would only be because some much more wonderful job with a much more respectful employer was just getting ready to hire me.

Has your thyroid been tested?
Have you tried eliminating caffeine from your diet?

Just wonderin'...

You can't be fired if you are on FMLA. It protects A job for you, maybe not your specific job that you currently have but they cannot fire you because you are off from work if you are on FMLA. You have to be signed up for FMLA though. Talk to your hr person and get clear on what it is you are doing and your fears.

I can understand where you're coming from, but please remember your health is most important. I think there would be resources (maybe legally) if you lost your job over this. If you don't take care of it now, it could get much worse. Is your sister not able to work? If she's having a hard time finding a job, there are legitimate online jobs she can do. It might be time for her to step up to the plate and help with the finances. And there ARE lots of places out there for financial assistance. Good luck and please keep us informed. If you need a good Dr, please let me know. I have a FANTASTIC one!

Consider having an endometrial ablation. It won't get rid of the fibroids but it will stop any heavy bleeding and allow you to keep your uterus. However, you can't get pregnant after the procedure so if you want more children, it's not the procedure for you. I had it in July and it has given me my life back.

Looks like you have pretty decent coverage. I would go for it(either procedure.)

Sweetie, have a hysterectomy and get it over with!! I understand your financial concerns, but you will not believe how much better you will feel and work will be so much easier. I had a hysterectomy when I was 31 (I'm 58 now)...it's a tough surgery, no doubt, but I know you would feel SOOO much better. I wish you the best.

You have received a lot of good feedback and I don't want to sound like a broken record but definitely talk to someone in HR about your leave options. Many companies not only provide FMLA but also provide Short-Term Disability (sick time). This may be an option depending on the size of your company. It doesn't hurt to verify with someone. Also, you are not obligated to tell your boss details of what is going on with your health. If choose to do so that's up to you but don't feel like you have to.

In Sept 08, I had a UFE procedure. Uterine fibroid Embolization. It is where they block the blood flow to the fibroids to stop the growth, shrink them down and stop the bleeding. I had very low blood count due to heavy bleeding not to mention loss of quality of life. In the restroom every hour at work. Never knowing if an accident was about to occur. They go in through groin and there is minimal recovery.

Oh, you poor thing! You have to put your health first! You will be a better mother and worker once you are feeling better. Legally, they cannot fire you for taking medical leave. Just be sure you get the best doctor you can and you will get through the surgery just fine with fewer worries. If you ever want to have kids, you can adopt! God will give you another child if it is right, but right now you need to take care of your health.
Good luck. You will do great in the surgery and will be so glad you did it once it is all over.

Do speak to your company's HR department. The FMLA is a federal act and only small companies are able to skirt around it. If you work for a city agency, for instance, you most likely have the right to use FMLA leave. At my large company, it is a pretty simple matter of coordinating with my boss and filing the correct paperwork. My job is guaranteed. If my leave becomes quite extended, I might come back to a job, though not necessarily the exact same position I had before.

Good luck. Check out these web sites when you can.

http://www.employer-employee.com/fmla.html
http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/
http://www.dol.gov/compliance/laws/comp-fmla.htm