Scared to Death to Raise a Boy!

I want to keep my 4.5 year old in a bubble, even though I know in reality, I can't :0(... I hope I'm not going to be one of "those" moms that fight the kids that are picking on my son..... I just really hope he wants to play basketball so I don't have to worry about football, lol...

I cried when I found out I was having a boy as I was raised with all girls and was the frilly little girl who knew nothing about boys...Now 2 of the three kids are boys! Yep had all these fears and worries....They are the best thing that happened to me...I am in awe of how they are growing...You'll be ok...and you can't keep him in a bubble LOL! He will get his bumps and bruises...all you can do is have reasonable expectations and set the standard and be consistent...My biggest worry is that they'll join the military. Nothing wrong with the military...it's just well you know.... dangerous

Ever read Pollock's "Real Boys?" Its a great read and use it a lot when talking to parents with boys. Empowering!

I agree with Denise, boys Rock! I have one of each. I adore my daughter, but I can tell she's going to be harder to parent than my son.

Boys are pretty simple; get mad, yell or throw stuff, get over it. Repeat often. Yes they get in fights. Yes they pick on each other. We've got a block full of boys who are always fighting and making up. They learn from it, get over it, and move on. The girls on the block hold grudges - I'll take the boys approach over the girls any day.

My son (9) plays competetive soccer. A teammate broke his femur in a game last month. The level of competition and physical aggression concerns me, but my son is passionate about it so we just try to teach him how to be safe. We have run into bad coaches (one told his players to put my son through the f*in wall in indoor soccer) but you'll get that in any sport. The key is to get on a good team, where you respect the coaches and parents. It can't be all about winning, if it is you are headed for trouble. Our team decided together that if we face the bad coach's team again we will forfeit, winning isn't worth putting our boys through the emotional trauma they went through the last time we played them.

Easy Peasy!

Boys ROCK!

Not every boy will want to play football and no WAY is our son playing football until he's at least 11 or 12. Tackle football for 6-7-8 year olds is ridiculous, imo.

Take a deep breath and relax :)

My girls have given me way more aggravation and trouble than my son. The drama, the gossip, the emotions, the mean girl stuff, they are 12 and (almost) 16 now and I swear having daughters is NOTHING like I expected. Oh, and one of them was a competitive gymnast for two years, talk about potential injuries!!!

My son did cub scouts, a little baseball and tennis, and as a teen he ran cross country and track. He tried wrestling (at his dad's request) but he hated it (so did I.) He is now a college student whose main interests are hiking, photography, film making and running.

What I'm saying is don't waste time worrying about it now because you just never know where your son's interests will lie. My husband's family is huge into team sports (lots of testosterone there!) and most of my nephews play pretty hard: football, wrestling, skiing, hunting, etc. My son just never had an interest in any of it, he's just a more cerebral guy. Yours may be as well, you never know.

And if he DOES turn out to be a football player? I'm sure your skin will be thicker by then and you'll be on the sidelines cheering him on :)

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. The oldest boy is 20, the girl 17 and the youngest boy is 12.

There are challenges with boys and girls. I love my daughter to death and we have a great relationship, but in a lot of ways boys are much easier. Especially in the age range of 12 through 15 (in my experience anyway)

In my experience, my boys can get mad and get over it all in the same hour. My daughter can get mad and will bring it up for months. On the other hand - I can give my daughter a list of things to do and know it will get done. My boys will have to be reminded multiple times!

Good luck, relax. He will be fine...and the bumps and bruises along the way will make him strong. You'll love it one day when he can open that jar of pickles for you or reach that top shelf that you can't.

btw - my daughter is the athlete in the family and has had more injuries than either of her brothers.

You have such a long way to go. If your son is anything like mine wether you are ready or not when he is he will just go leaping into it feet first asking no questions at all. Your job as mom, is to let him and encourage his fearlessness and not to stunt his interest in the world around him. Way before they get to team sports you will get exposed to them perhaps climbing up to high places and jumping for no good reason at all. They don't consider how, when or where they will land. Your job is to teach him to consider such things without stunting their growth and development.

Your son may not even be interested in sports but in sports they learn about leadership, team building and working in a team, and so much more. My youngest is 15 (my stepson) he doesn't do sports at all so we have to find other things to get him into to build him up both physically and emotionally.

You have to encourage them to step out of their comfort zones and sometimes even yours so they can know that they can at least try what comes to their minds. You just have to do what is best for your boy so he can become a phenominal man.

I have a 3 yr old, and I'll tell you, I'm seriously immune to most injuries that he has anymore. I don't flinch when he falls off his bike, or down the stairs, or jumps off the coffee table across the room onto the chair.
It's just what you get used to.

As he gets bigger, you'll know his personality, and you'll know what he "can do". You'll also know how "tough" his is - for lack of a better way to put it. Some kids are cannonballs (like mine), that are going to find a way to go 100 mph no matter what they're doing. Some are more reserved (our neighbor), who prefer to watch and play quietly.
You'll know your son, and what he's prone to do.

He will be bullied. He will get into fights. He will get picked on.
That part is up to you to teach him confidence and how to handle himself, as he gets bigger.

I understand your fear (I'm dealing with the bully business now). You just take it as it comes in stages!

My father in law "warned me" that my son, 3, will be recruited to play football when he's older because he'll be a big guy...and I should "never let him" because of the concussions and all that. First of all, I wasn't scared that it would happen, because really, I can forbid him to play. PLUS, if I raise him with interests in other things, and point out the dangers, and keep him busy in other pursuits, he'll hopefully have no interest. This seems doable since his parents are both artists who don't care about sports and neither do any of our friends, so he never sees any football stuff really. I plan to put him in Tai Kwon Do at 4. I've already taught him to fight bullies back and defend other kids. As for random injuries...nothing can be done about that really.

BUT, if he's just dying to play football for some reason, I guess I'd let him. So many guys play. I mean. What can you do. There are millions of ways to get hurt. I worry way worse about car wrecks....but that's not all that comforting I know. He doesn't have to play football, try not to worry!

I have two boys. We are all tall and spindly people. There is no way they could play football, even if they wanted to. They do love track, swimming and ocean paddling. Sometimes soccer. My youngest really loves baseball. I do think most boys need a physical, competitive outlet, but it certainly does not have to be football. I do worry about sharks (;-) and spinal injuries and even sun exposure because my boys spend so much time in the ocean, but I take a deep breath, slather on sun screen and remind myself that life has risks and the benefits they are getting far outweigh the slight possibility of something happening.

I def. was very scared when i had my second boy so close to the first boy! All i could think of was my two brothers. They got in lots of trouble and cheered eachother on in bad situations!
I will have to learn alot between now and teen age years, Lol

I have been blessed with two boys, and when my first was an infant I had the exact same fears you have. I knew that I am simply not cut out to be a football mom. I teach high school, and love to watch my students play, but even then I feel a little sick to my stomach when I watch them get hit on the field. I couldn't imagine watching my own babies getting hurt, but I know many moms who love watching their boys play in all kinds of sports.

Fortunately my oldest has no interest at all in sports. He's my academic wizard (I know that athletes can be brilliant, also). He is an extremely gentle soul. He does stay physically fit by swimming and running cross country, and this year he's also playing tennis, but academia is more his thing. He's 13. He has never been one to rough-house at all.

My youngest is also very calm, and loves to read. He is interested in sports and loves to watch sports with my husband, but he only likes to play golf and basketball. He is very small, so I don't think he'll be playing basketball competitively when he's older, but he enjoys it now. He's 7. He does seem to have a natural talent for golf, and there isn't much danger there, so that makes me happy, too. :)

Enjoy your son! I have so much fun with my boys and with the boys in my classroom. The girls are great, too, but they are much more emotional. They require more patience, but they are entertaining. All kids are. :)

Well first, there is no reason he needs to play football - in my mind, the risk to my son's brain is not worth it. He may have no desire to. He might get in fights, some boys do, some girls do. He may also learn that arms are for hugging, not hitting and never get into a fight. The good news is you will (probably) be able to avoid all the stereotypical pink and purple garbage, early sexualization, and incredibly limiting expectations that you would face raising a girl. I would not trade raising a boy for anything.

I agree with Denise that boys ROCK! I have a little man who is 6 and I wouldn't let him be in tackle football at this age. I think he is so easy! I guess when he gets hurt I think aww he's just being a boy. Stop worrying and enjoy your little man! :-)

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Slow down!

There are plenty of sports out there that aren't nearly that dangerous.

Studies have been done which show brain damage to people with multiple concussions. In the Army they call it "Traumatic Brain Injury." Not to freak you out, just to give you knowledge.

Just because you have a boy does not mean you are required to have him play football. He can run track, play soccer, basketball, baseball, etc. That's what we'll be doing.

I was scared, too. I grew up in a family of 5 girls and my baby boy didn't come with an instruction manual! He is now 28, married, and a wonderful father. I ended up having the best experience of my life raising him.

I found that if I allowed him to manifest his interests and supported him in developing them, and maintained good communication and mutual respect in our relationship, that it was an absolute joy to raise him.

I was scared about violent, competitive sports, too. Fortunately, my son was not interested in playing these sports. He ended up running cross-country. I think football is really negative, so I would encourage people to steer away from that, but cross-country was a great experience for both of us. It encouraged self-discipline, among other things.

Part of the story is that your son will teach you, to an extent, how to raise him. Relax and enjoy! You are in for a great experience!

My boys and I are not interested in high velocity team sports - who needs to loose brain cells?
My boys do swimming, fencing, gymnastics, judo, figure skating. They can compete against themselves and others, develop and feel strong and not deal with stupid coaches and teammates.

I never worry about those things. Mine is only two but he falls on his head and tumbles all the time. I am more worried about raising the girl I am pregnant with. Girls are more bratty towards each other in school. not to bring up scary stats but 1/3 girls will be molested or raped, and are way more likely to develop problem such as eating disorders.

Lol, My daughter is the one I am worried about.... She is the one thats in to everything, and I suspect that she will be the one who wants to play football hehe

I just do it in baby steps - taking each year as it comes! My son (age 7) is tall and thin and is into individual sports (biking, skiing, etc) but this year he suddenly just loves soccer. His first competitive sport just started this year /grade 2! This is really late compared to most boys but it does not seem to matter. I feel like I don't need to worry about him getting picked on just because of his personality. The other kids all seem to really like him and want to "follow" him. When I have seen other boys tease him about something he very loudly and confidently states SO WHAT, and gives his reason for doing x. He is not one to ever get walked on because of the way he handles things. I have been teaching him since he was very young that all people are different and we never tease others for the way they are if they look or seem different. He is very respectful of this bc he has a kind heart. Yes, if he suddenly wanted to play football it would scare me bc of all the head injuries you hear about. But I would let him try it and we would see how it goes! Good luck raising your sweet little boy!

We have a 10 month old, so its way too early for us to worry about this stuff too, but I have to tell you, I was relieved he is a boy. Sex and gender don't always go hand in hand, but as a one time tom boy and practicing geek, the idea of a girly daughter scares the pants off me. Pink and kittens and ponies, oh my. Bring on the football.

I have 1 of each gender & my daughter is WAY tougher to handle than my son. She's also way "tougher" in general than just about any other little girl you'd ever meet. They've both had their share of cuts, bumps, & bruises over the years but no broken bones (yet!) so we're very lucky.

I will say this: my son does NOT play football & his getting hurt is one of the reasons for me, but there is a laundry list of others (cost, time, # of mandatory practices per week, etc.). He plays baseball & most certainly has had his share of jammed fingers & getting hit in the ribs with a runaway pitch, but he's survived. Besides, everyone knows that 'snips & snails & puppy dog tails' is what little boys are made of!!

I have 17 and 14 yr old sons. One has played football and other sports for years, and the other is a black belt in karate. I had to stop going to karate it made me so sick watching my son train for his black belt. Football son broke his arm and nearly his nose, so we've spent some time in the ER too.

You learn to cope, and you learn that your sons are the jewels in your crown. The key is to let them grow into men. Don't keep them as mama's boys, and don't push them too fast either. A daddy (provided he's a good daddy) is a wonderful gauge for what's appropriate.

I grew up in a family of all girls, and never thought I wanted boys - but wow have I been so thankful to have them.

Hug that baby as much as you can now, because when he's older he won't let you as much. :P

PS: If I had it to do over again, I would not allow tackle football unless my son was absolutely desperate to play. Way too much risk for head trauma imho.

Boys will get hurt. So will girls. It's just part of life. If you don't want him in super-competitive sports, then forgo sports. Right now my boy is 6 and is in Karate (where the only person you are really competing against is yourself). No soccer, no baseball, no tennis for now because he hasn't expressed an interest in it. There isn't anything inherently wrong with competition, but it must be tempered with sportsmanship. If my son ever gets in a situation where the team is being taught to "win at all costs" then I will have two choices, take him out of the team or make sure I am doing my best to teach sportsmanship and also ream the coach a good one to make sure he/she includes it too.
Mommies of girls have all kinds of other frightening things to face -- it isn't any easier to raise a girl than a boy, just different. The fact that you are concerned means you will do fine as long as you don't let it overwhelm you.

Well I have girls, so I can't help you directly, but I understand. We are considering a third, and my thought has been, "Oh my good ness, what if we get a boy!!"

I guess I would say, don't back down on good decisions because of gender stereotypes. I hear lots of "boys will be boys" types of attitudes from Moms whose sons behave badly or are rough. There is a time and a place for everything. Also, I woudln't let boys do things I don't think are safe just because are boys and need to act tough and do male stuff. For instance, I think football poses too much of a risk of head injury and Iwouldn't let any of my kids play it competatively.

So trust your judgment and your parenting,teach your child to defend himself and be confident, but don't egg on "boy behaviors." You'll do great.

And by the way, girls can be pretty awful too.

I have two boys, ages 12 and 15. They both play hockey and baseball and played football in the past. Knock on wood, even though my boys are very small our worst injuries have been stitches to the chin and a broken pinky. There are a lot of injuries on the increase and a lot of horror stories, but they don't all play violent sports and the technology is improving to keep them safe. They don't all get hurt! Our kids quit football because of their size. It just didn't make sense or seem safe anymore. From what I've seen amongst their friends the worst injuries are repetitive injuries from overuse or playing the same sport all year long. Kids need breaks between sports and they need to mix up their sports and not play the same sport all year. I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax mama! Boys can be very rough and tough and physical, but most of their injuries are bumps and bruises. You can try to steer him towards swimming, Scouts or other activities, but boys will be boys..............

I have two boys. My oldest is 7 years old and he has played baseball for 3 years now and soccer 2 years now. He really wants to play football which I am not to keen on but I thought I would let him try and see if he will really like it. I know I would like to keep them safe and not get hurt but I don't want them not to try to find their identity either. We have to try to teach them that fighting isn't allowed and you might get hurt playing sports but don't not let them try. I don't actually know the difference of raising boys versus girls because I only have boys. But have watched family members with girls and I think my boys are much easier and wouldn't change it for anything. You will have to decide up front and let your son know which sports he can choose from when he is old enough to play. Good luck.