SAHM Burn Out--What to Do?

You need a hobby!!! It took me many tries before I found something that I loved and could be passionate about but I did and it is so much more enriching than my job ever was and I used to love my job. (Are you interested in skating, sewing, knitting, painting, photography? I am a mosaic glass artist:)

I used to work at home. It was hard with 2 kids, but impossible with 3. I was always trying to balance their activities and work and I just couldn't do it all. I finally quit my job and although I miss the money and my days are not exciting, I am happy for now. Do what is best for you. Try part time first and see if that brings you some fulfillment.

I felt the same way exactly. I found a part time job and that is a life saver for me. It's perfect. I work when the kids are at school/preschool but I am home when they are home. I work 15-20 hours a week. Next year I might bump it up to 20 hours a week. When both kids are in public school I'll probably work a little more...we will see. For me this is perfect because it gives me time away from kids, time with adults, and I'm enjoying my work and using my brain. The other thing I did was get a full physical and check my iron/thyroid bc I was just feeling so cranky and impatient with the kids. All the time! It turns out I am in perimenopause (I'm 42) and my hormones are changing. It really, really affected my mood all the time. I hated it. I am now on a mild antidepressant and it's amazing. I now have so much patience with my kids. I can stay calm when they are freaking out about something or misbehaving. I can't believe what a better parent it makes me. I no longer get angry and super annoyed either. Anyway...just sharing what worked for me.

What saved my sanity was part time work until our daughter was in High School. Then I started a business.

Your twins are going to love day care. New toys, new friends, more outside time, not so many mommy errands.. At daycare it is ALL about the children.. At home, we have a lot distractions and dragging them around places..

* Your Husband, also needs to help you, and so that you CAN have time alone to do what you want. Even if by yourself. Even if spending 1 hour at a bookstore. THAT is something, any Husband with kids, needs to do, FOR his Wife. It does not matter if the Husband works and you don't. A Wife/Mom, is human and NEEDS to have, "off" time, too.
Tell your Husband.
My Husband is good about that.
For example: My Husband washes the dishes, on many occasions. My Husband is the one that takes our kids to their weekend lessons. Therefore, I have a "break" and do as I please at that time. I am the one that takes our kids to their week-day, activities. So we toggle off and take turns. It is FAIR, for us. And hence, the kids SEE us, as parents of BOTH genders... helping each other and DOING and being, a parent. Not just the "woman" doing everything. Although as a Mom, I do most things and am able to.

The thing is, even if you are a SAHM, your Husband is a parent too and a partner in this. So he is or should be, a part of the "solution" too. Meaning, you need time off or to yourself. Say so. And then do it. Leave the kids with Hubby. He is a parent too. Just because you are the "woman" or the "SAHM" it does not mean, you are the 24/7 always open, corner convenience store and maid or child rearing/entertainer every day or every minute. Husband, has to help, too. That is therefore, helping the Wife and what she needs to do as a person, too.
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I have been a SAHM since my 1st child was born. She is now 11.
Sure some days are bonkers and tiring.
But I never felt burnt out or bored or anything.
Its up to me to choose my attitude.
But some days are harder than others.
That will happen even if you work.
Even if you don't have kids.
All people, no matter if they are a parent or not, may feel burnt out or not, sometimes.
Or feel everything is mundane.

Anyway, now I work part-time. (because I work at a school, I have the SAME hours and days off/holidays/vacations as my kids. Hence, I can still be home with them even if I have 2 part-time jobs at the school). I did that on purpose, and chose those jobs, on purpose.

I am school staff and a Sub Teacher.
I like it.
And my kids like seeing me at their school.
And it is stimulating and I like the people I work with.
But anything, has headaches to it, no matter what you do.
Parent or not.

Any kid, when/if they attend daycare or Preschool or once they enter elementary school... will have to adjust. Sooner or later.
How much time you spend with the kids and family, is up to you and how you manage your off hours and family time, and "me" time.
And per how your kids are and their level of needs or happiness etc.

Old self or new self or different self.
Well, that is up to you.
If you feel you need a change, then dig deep and see what you need.
SAHM or working, all people can feel that way, man or woman.
It is not only SAHMs, that feel that way or not.

And if a person starts to "resent" their life or their kids or their daily routines.. then you need to decide, to change that.
Because resentment... is not always the "fault" of one's family or kids or routines. It is personal.

And even if you are busy, with your own stuff/hobbies/jobs etc., is that going to make you feel peaceful and satisfied?
Each person is different.
But you cannot change that there are kids who are going through their own developmental phases and needs. So hopefully, speaking for myself... we ebb and flow with it, and you can still enjoy it and find special moments to really relish... the kids even if they are having bad days... and relish yourself too, as a person.
Kids and family, do not define, you.
You define yourself, and how you feel about yourself.
Even if I have been a SAHM for so long, and always there for my kids, I don't feel empty or resentful or that I 'lost' myself.
I know who I am. And what I am.
I'm not just "Mommy" and faceless. I am, me.

Even single people, can feel like how you feel.
Even very busy people with tons to do and with social interaction can feel as you do.
It is not just SAHMs that feel that way.

I have always worked but I am going to answer anyway. If you found work rewarding prior to giving it up, I see no reason you will not find returning to work to be rewarding. I would bang my head against the wall if I did not have my career and regular interaction with other adults.

Your kids will adjust to daycare. I have no idea if they will adjust immediately or if it will take some time but they will also enjoy playing with other kids and interacting will lots of fun adults. Your 5 year old will be going to kindergarten anyway in the Fall.

I spend more than 2 hours a day with my son. You need to consider both morning and evening. We always eat breakfast and dinner together as a family. On weekends we eat all three meals together.

There was a question posted a while ago about how much direct interaction SAHMs had with their kids each day. I was honestly surprised by how little it was - they spent a LOT of time cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and other things around the house and maybe (on average, you can try searching the archive) 1-2 hours a day directly reading to/playing with/interacting with their children. When you have more limited time, you will likely find that you spend it WITH your kids, not just existing with them in the house at the same time. Your partner will of course need to pick up a lot of the slack (cooking, cleaning, laundry, appts, laundry, etc) but what seems to go is the house - not the interaction with the kids.

Best of luck :)

Our son started daycare at two. It was the best thing we did for him! Up until that point, he was a late talker. It didn't matter how much we read to him or interacted with him, he only said single words. I kid you not, about three months after starting daycare, he was combining words into mini-sentences. I think he gained confidence speaking being around so many other kids his age.

As far as working from home, it's not much of a bridge. It's just work, done at home. Like already mentioned, you can't work and watch your kids at the same time, so what it really offers is time not wasted commuting. That is the big plus to it. If you work for yourself, you can customize your hours.

No one can tell you if you should go back to work. It's something you need to figure out on your own. I can say that there are resources out there to make it happen and your kids won't sprout three eyes if you do go to work. :)

For me the key to being a stay at home mom was to never stay at home. I was a SAHM for 11 years, and only stayed at home if I was too sick to leave the house. It was never mundane! The kids and I went out and did something fun every single day. I also found a part time job outside of the home, did lots of volunteer work and made time for myself to get out away from the kids on a regular basis. The point was I needed to have a plan for every day so there was a point to getting out of bed. Getting out and doing activities doesn't need to be expensive, and the activities don't always need to be what the kids like to do. Get a YMCA membership. You can drop the kids in the child care while you get a workout, then take the kids for a swim and a play. Go to zoos, museums, art galleries, shopping malls, bowling, mini-golf, parks, toboggan hills, skating rinks, beaches, playgroups etc. I recently worked full time for a six week term position and it was hard, even though my kids are in school. I don't think I could work more than 25 hours a week and run the household and be there for the kids.

there are a lot of in between steps to going from full time sahm to full time work. do you need the income? if not have you considered going to either a part time position or an unpaid volunteer type position? how about a mothers day out type of program that you help at some and then you get some time to your self. if you need the income then go part time and put your kids in a good daycare your oldest will be going to school in the fall. when will the youngers be 3? preschool is a life saver lol.

now in the interest of some mind savers more quickly.
get out of the house
go to the gym, go to the mall and walk with the stroller, go to the library, the park or just the mc donalds. you don't have to have a complete meal to use the playland. get some apple slices and milk thats not a bad snack. let the kids run. join a book club in the evening when your husband is home, start your own if you there isn't one at your library. join a bowling legue, help out at a soup kitchen, food pantry or homeless shelter, call your church and ask what kinds of volunteer groups they have available. beleive me they will have a bunch.

From the perspective of a mom who has always worked, it's not like you come home all refreshed ready to enjoy and play with your kids. Work can be very tiring and draining... So unless it's a job you would really enjoy and not long hours etc, I'd not rush back into anything but as people have said, check out other ways to stop going crazy at home. I imagine home with 2 year old twins is mind numbing at times. But even with very good full time nannies over the years, so much still comes back to me of course as the mother. Running to school events so I don't miss anything, feeling like I need to be "on" when I get home so I'm not only not home all day but then not being fun and engaging when I get home, the constant management of house and child logistics etc. What I also found interesting was the blog from the daycare provider posted last week or so. In it she says 'sure, your kids like to see their friends and all but they really would prefer to be home with you." For a daycare provider to say or admit kids would rather be home was interesting to me. 2 is still very young... Oh - and when they get sick, there's the stress of how to cover. You'd be adding adult interaction and getting out of the house and I totally understand the need for that. But you'll also likely be introducing a lot of stress. So I'd only do it for a job you think would be a pleasure to go to almost everyday... Work can suck too and the guilt that goes along with it is icing on the cake. I think ti's great some women do enjoy their jobs that much so that's likely a diffrent equation.

I think sometimes its easy to get overwhelmed with how demanding they all are at this age. I'm not implying that you are a selfish mother, but don't forget to factor in what they want and what is best for them too. I think its pretty self -evident that children do better when their own parent is their primary care taker. And no, two hours a day with your child is not enough for them or you. But even if it is enough for you, its not enough for them.

Two year olds are so demanding and you have two of them. I say hang in there and find some outlets or times away that are not full time work. Join a gym with a good kids program and get some you time. Hire a babysitter who gives you an afternoon or two a week to go do something.

This stage does not last forever. I say hang in there and find some way to get a break and some perspective without going to the extreme of full time work away from home when clearly, its not a financial necessity for your family.

Figure out if you are looking for a change of scene, break from your routine, or a return to work. Enrolling the twins in a part time day care 2+ days a week when you go and volunteer or do part time work in your former field, or a new one, is a good way to test the waters.

I work at home 3+ days a week, and report to the office the other days. My employer decided to save on overhead costs by consolidating office space and implementing a mandatory telecommuting schedule. I had to contract and agree that I would not be responsible for the care of a child under the age of 9 while on the clock. If DS is at home or sick, we need to have a sitter, or I need to take a personal day to tend to him. There are plusses and minuses to working from home. 1. it is work. 2. it takes a lot of discipline and self motivation. 3. it eliminates your commute. 4. it limits your in person adult interraction.

**Like Dana K. I have never actually been in your shoes. I was climbing the walls during my maternity leave, and knew that SAHParenting was never a good choice for me.

Best,
F. B.

I have always been a SAHM but I have always been working alongside my hubby as well. I acted as his customer service rep because the companies he worked for in the past were all in the NE or a good distance away. It was easy to balance mom and hubby's asst.

When our daughter started K I started volunteering in her school and that ended up turning into a substitute position that I continue to do 13 yrs later. I pick and choose my days to teach and I love it because it is my "break" from my home office work.

About 5 yrs ago, husband and I started our own business and that is a huge commitment on my part because I do all the financials, payroll, taxes, etc. I have to be right and I have to be able to focus. This was an easy adjustment because daughter was pretty self sufficient by that time She is currently a Freshman in college now and living on her own. We both work from home and hubby does all the travel, negotiating and sales. It works well for us but it kindof fell in our lap and we took the opportunity and ran with it. So far it is very successful.

You are right about stay at home jobs. They are hard to come by if it is a legitimate job. That said... what are your skills? What do you like and what are you good at? I have a SAHM who does bookkeeping on the side for several companies and she is a whiz at QuickBooks. I call her when I have a question and I pay her $100/hour to help me master the parts of QB I don't fully understand so I will be on target with my numbers with my presentations for the IRS, CPA and legal counsel.

Before we moved to TX, I did clerical support from home for a sales rep who worked from his home. We hardly ever saw each other but I typed all of his presentations, did his expense reports, etc.

If you have teaching skills for academics or music... there is an opportunity for you for private tutoring. Academic tutoring starts at $50 an hour here, music is $1.50-$2 a minute with half hour sessions.

Instead of jumping into to full time, take baby steps and start with part time somewhere. Maybe put the 2 yr olds in a Mom's Day Out so you can work part time OR have some much needed mommy re-charging time.

You need time for yourself and if you feel like you are twiddling your thumbs with your extra time, that is a signal to do something that will help you feel more comfortable with yourself meaning it can be as little as some volunteer hours, part time to full time work. Whatever you find that fulfills you and that makes you a better mom.

I've been a SAHM for as long as I've had children (almost 9 years). Have you ever considered a part-time job? Maybe not a career, but something to get you out of the house a few hours a day/week. For the past two school years, I subbed 1 day a week, or so. I made just enough to cover a babysitter, but I enjoyed the time away (I taught before being a SAHM). I also worked 10 hours a week at Sylvan Learning Center when my oldest was 1.

Could you find something fun--like Bath & Body Works or GAP and just work part-time? You would only make enough to pay for child care, but it might give you the break you need.

I definitely enjoyed the break:) Now, my youngest is in preschool 3 mornings a week, so that is my 'me' time.

I do NOT think a working mom is less or bad. I think a working mom sees the benefits of life outside of the 4 walls that are home.

I worked because I had to but what I found out was my house stayed cleaner all the time, I felt better about myself, I loved and thrived in a work environment, and more.

Kids of working moms and dads all over the world have adjusted to child care. It's not always easy but it does eventually happen. I also happens sooner if you drop the kids off and leave, don't hang around hugging them and trying to make them stop crying, that makes them cry longer and longer and it irritates everyone.

The kids hardly ever cry once you are out of sight.

If you want to work there are no valid reasons you shouldn't.

Unless you put your kids to bed at 7pm then you'll have time after dinner. They will be playing with each other and busy so don't expect them to hang on to you and want your undivided attention because they'll miss you all day, they'll grow and adapt and they'll be fine.

I couldn't imagine have two two year olds and a 5 year old and working a paid job! Talk about being tired ;-)

Sounds like you need something for yourself. Are you in a book club? another type of mom's group? I'd start there, and then see how much more you need.

How about a project of some sort? Is there any hobby you've always wanted to try but not had the time? I'm learning guitar. And next year I'm buying myself a cello! I don't have lots of free time with a baby in the house, but I do try to pick up an instruct for a few minutes a day. I brought my old flute out of the closet, and I'm playing that everyday too.

It sounds like you have the winter blahs. Get out of the house and go do something new and exciting with your kids! That always brings the joy back into it for me. They say couples need new experiences to maintain the bond, it is no different with kids.

I think you need to find a "Moms Day Out" type child care for your children a couple of days a week. You need a break!
I put my children in preschool at age 3. It was mornings 9-11:30 or afternoons 12-2:30. They went every day and loved it.
When they were younger, I did a Moms Group at a local church - they had child care for 2 hours while we did one hour of large group parenting classes and one hour of small group. The kids were safe. We learned. It was awesome!
When my oldest went to kindergarten, I put the youngest in skating lessons opposite her preschool schedule once a week. She loved it. She met new kids and I met new parents.
Then, when the youngest went to kinder, I did a happy dance!
If you go. A I to work, you won't make any money -- twins in daycare isn't cheap. Not to mention the wardrobe, the car, the chores that won't get done, etc.
I took a few part time jobs, but found that my children needed me at home. I'm so glad I just sucked it up when the going got tough. Some days are just thankless... But the rewards come later when they are older and they know that mom will be there for them and their friends. Mine have thanked me more than once for not going back to work.
My kids are in college. They know if they need me, I'll be there. Fortunately, they don't need me very often. :)
I honestly believe that my kids turned out as well as they did because I was home, involved, and available.

I don't think you should go from one extreme to the other - SAHM to working mom. You should start with a part time job or volunteer work (depending on financial needs) to see if all you need is a little outside time. If you work a part time job for a bit and decide you really do need more outside time, then you can re-enter the workforce at that point. Keep in mind the additional cost of daycare and driving them to and from there; all factors you aren't used to. Heck, daycare shopping may be enough to drive you away from wanting to go back to work. LOL....

My three year old has been in daycare a little over a year. Prior to that he had been at home with dad and a nanny for two years. It was a tough transition at first for all of us. But in general life has its ups and downs, doesn't it? Adaptation is the key and is a trait each of us should master. I choose to work for a variety of reasons, one of which is I couldn't stay home all day and be effective as a SAHM. My husband is not much better; the SAHD thing caused him too much guilt. Because of our collective need to work, I personally view daycare as an extended family. We carefully picked a place where we trust the ladies completely and I have learned to view the ladies as aunts or cousins. They all love kids and do the best they can by my family all while I have learned to accept they don't do things my way but it still works.

I don't spend that many hours each week with my kids but I make sure I am there fully when I am home at night and on the weekends. We don't have TV so there's no distraction from that angle. We also put away phones when we get home. We play on the floor with our kids a ton and do lots of family things together. We don't go out as a couple much because we don't want to lose any more time with our kids than we already do. My philosophy is that I choose to make the most of the time I do have. I believe it's quality not quantity that counts.

If you open yourself up, any experience can be positive. Maybe you just need a recharge with a part time job or volunteer thing or... Then again maybe you need to re-enter the workforce. Burn out affects all workers -- office bunnies, stay at home parents, etc. I suggest trying to figure out the cause of the burn out for a long term, effective solution. Good luck.

Is the "old self" that you want back really someone who adored work and feels she needs that career to be her full self? That is perfectly fine! But be sure that this is really about loving the actual work itself and not about being at loose ends with your kids. Just going back to work to fill time, when you have two kids as young as two, would end up with all the income going into their day care, and you coming home tired and not knowing what they did all day. See if part-time work would help you do a test run to make a choice.

In your shoes I would not return to full-time work. For the five year old--try preschool rather than day care. Find a "pre-K" program at a good preschool. Is your child starting kindergarten in fall 2014? In that case, preschool is a huge help in getting ready for kindergarten. Day care may or more lilkely may not provide the kind of structure and preparation that a good preschool provides; much day care is just warehousing kids and claims to do "preschool" in day care are sometimes true-- sometimes not. It's not too late to do preschool -- many take in new kids throughout the year and some have January starts for a new term, and some continue through summer. Look for a program that is not all day every day but maybe three to five days a week, half days at most.

This gives your child a good start, fun and socialization and gives you time with the two-year-olds. (At three, they may both be ready for preschool too but please -- start them at, say, two days a week for three hours each day, or three days a week at most!). Meanwhile, are you and the toddlers doing anything like: Tumbling classes, "Music Together" or "Kindermusik" classes (we did lots of Music Together and it's a great program and fun for mom), kid art classes, anything? Your local community center, county or city parks and recreation department and some churches offfer lots of things for kids just this age -- in fact, ages two to about five are the golden years for mom-and-me classes, good for the kids, fun for you.

With twins, you might need to find some daytime sitter coverage so you can take one kid to, say, music at the community center one day a week, while the other gets to go with you to "wiggles and giggles" at the rec center on a different day each week. (please do not fall for the "twins must do everything together or it's not fair" crud!). No relatives around? Fine, check with local colleges or universities -- some have lists of students who babysit, or there are online sites with background checking that provide lists of sitters, or ask friends, or better yet, trade sitting with other moms....

If the issue is that you do or have done these kinds of things and they are not your bag at all -- you don't enjoy the kiddie classes etc. -- that's fine, IF you have given it a good try and know for sure that it's your own preferences, and not one or two so-so classes, that are making you feel that way. In that case, find a "mother's day out" that takes kids your twins' age and get some time alone during each week while the older child is in preschool and the twins at mother's day out.

(No mother's day outs in your area? Start one. They are cooperative so everyone trades turns being the parents who stay with the kids in the group. It is doable.)

There is a national "mothers of twins" group that around here meets and has both meetings where the kids come and meetings where it's parents only. Consider finding groups like that to meet other parents, give your kids a chance to play, and network to find sitters and find out about other things to do with and without the kids.

Mamapedia just ate my nicely detailed answer. So, the short version is that there is no ultimate, perfect answer. I've worked from home (ran a sweet in-home preschool for 2 years until we wanted our house back) and been a SAHM as well. I like both, for different reasons.

I think that you won't know if you regret it until you do it. Sending my son to preschool was very good for all of us, esp. as he is an only child and needed people other than mommy to show him the world a bit. It has taken me a while to adjust to not working (I worked from 16 to 36 and then commenced working again about 4 months after giving birth.) I also think that the time we have-- either at work or at home-- is what we make of it. For me, my brain needed more to do so I've started a few new projects this year and am looking forward to getting back into the garden once the cold abates. I also volunteer at the school and find that very fulfilling. Being a housewife is just my speed right now, but it wasn't for quite a while.

Keep your vision of what you want for your family in mind as you go forward and remember, when it comes to kids wanting our attention-- we could give them 27 hours a day of undivided attention and they would want more! It's a bottomless bucket, so if you find you are happier working, don't feel guilty. A (healthily) happy mom makes for a happier family.

You can go back to work if you want. However, until then or even first,
try these things to shake up your routine/repetitive days:
-find a hobby you can do at home for yourself
-get out with the kids during the day. See what activities you have going
on in your area. This saved my sanity & gave my kids an educational,
fun time.
-take breaks. Find someone you trust to watch your kids for an hour so
you can get out to go to the gym, coffee shop, go for a walk alone to
clear my head, go to a fun store for shopping, walk around the mall for
some fun browsing, go to lunch w/a friend.
-some thing I did WITH my kids: go to lunch w/a friend, mall shopping.
-take your kids to the mall to the indoor play yards
-find reading time at your local libraries. Fun for the kids, change of scenery for you
-I take my kids to the parks in nice weather, riverfront, beach etc.
-schedule a playdate somewhere so you can talk to the other mom, have
a chat & have a coffee etc.
-look for local activities in your area, free things etc. I took my kids to all free zoo days, Christmas tree trimming, classes, toy store get togethers etc.
-I have put off going back to work until I'm ready. Am ready to go back to work in a year.
-shake up your day, your weeks etc. Have a garage sale to get rid of no longer used things you own & make money. Have a friend help you, hold a party at your house (make it low cost), have your mom friends bring their kids etc.
-there really aren't any real at-home paying jobs
-see if you can watch other kids to make some income until you're absolutely ready to go back to work
-then when you are in fact ready (it's ok if it's now) then get your resume ready, hone your Word, Excel skills, start networking & start looking to see what's really out there that you really want to get into. That way you can also factor in commute, actual work day time etc.
-start looking into daycare facilities. Go visit them etc. Best of luck!

It gets better. And really, you need to find a hobby and some "me" time out of the house.. or better yet... have husband take the kids out of the house so YOU can have the house to relax in. Doing what YOU want, uninterrupted.

Your older child starts school shortly. Just imagine all the field trips/activities/ school events that you will want to be available to help with or be present to see.
I have been in a bit of a rut lately myself, but it's more that my kids have gotten older and there isn't as much parental involvement on a day-to-day basis during school hours anymore. And when they get out in the afternoon, they have activities and I run them all over... Which can be draining in its own way...

But before we got to this point (middle and high school) I was able to be at every school party/field day/ play/ awards ceremony/parents breakfast/open house, etc. Every single one. Field trips, too, if I wanted.

I don't have 3, nor twins, so I can only imagine how exhausting that must be day in and day out at that age. Potty training is probably coming up soon for the twins... fun times.

I will say that it took me a while to get a feel for being at home. It wasn't easy. But it gets better. Join a class (yoga/pilates/gym) and go when the kids are home with husband.

And take lots of pictures of these ages... because it really does go by fast. It seems slow while you're in the thick of it... but it doesn't last forever. I'd love to snuggle my sweet, little dimple-cheeked boy again.. even if he did kick me accidentally while squirming to get off my lap. He's 15 1/2 now and driving! And as tall as my husband! It seems like last month he was just a little guy. :(

I am a former full time working mom (with a 60+ mile commute daily). When I was laid off and became a SAHM it was a huge transition and I started looking for jobs after about a week! It's been over a year now and I can see the benefits for the kids. I volunteer, am a full time bachelors degree student, and am trying to get back to the gym.
I agree with your advice so far. Transitioning in is best. Wish I could have transitioned out! I should have my degree this summer and plan to start looking for part time work.
The job that I had was in customer service and we had some at home reps. I wouldn't do that-at least at the office we could chit chat and vent to each other! None of the at home reps had kids-you would have to have them go to daycare and then you're back to commuting!

Hi, V.:

A Stay at Home Mom has no respect now a days. It sounds like you stopped living when the children were born.

Get you an appointment calendar from "ataglance.com" Put in your schedule with the children each day.

Do you have a husband?

Put in a time for him without the children.
Get a babysitter.

If you have a civic league in your neighborhood, get involved in it.
Go to your council meetings or school board meetings.
Get to know your representatives locally, state and federal.

Write letters to respond to what is affecting you in your city.

This will give you things to talk about.

Hope this helps.
Good luck.
D.

I find my self going through the same stage especially now with this sucky winter we have here. Ugh! My sanity comes from being involved with a local woman's group to do volunteer stuff and dropping my kids at the gym daycare center for an hour a few times a week! If you really want to go back to work then I'd try part time to start. I say that because it will get you out of the house but won't consume your life. If you think about it, then you will be irritated because you are working full time and still don't have time, and probably less time, to get your old self back. Take a class, join a bookclub, meet a friend for breakfast.

If you are feeling frustrated and burned out by being a stay at home mom, there are other options to working full time and rarely seeing your children. You could take a class, get a hobby, join a club, become a volunteer, or work part time. In other words, find something to do that is just for you and commit to doing it. Inexpensive classes can be found at community centers, through public education vocational-technical centers, and at craft or sewing stores. Club ideas include civic, garden, book, and special interest type - think every thing from model trains to period re-creation. Schools, hospitals, and animal shelters are always looking for volunteers, plus once all of your children are in school may allow you to move more easily into full time employment if you decide that you want to do that. Full time day care is expensive. You really don't want to go to work full time to have all of what you earn go to pay for it, do you? The point if you have lots of options and do not need to see your choices as only full time work or full time SAHM.

I would look for a better balance. If you need time away from the kids (or just with other people!) look for activities where you are likely to meet other parents. Join a Meet Up or go to the park or library story hour. Attend special events in the community geared toward kids. As the twins (you have your hands full!) get older, look for PT preschool for them or a Mom's Day Out program. Or hire a sitter once a week for a few hours so you can run errands by yourself. Take a community college class. Volunteer. Etc. I've been a SAHM, a WAHM and a FT office drone. None is ideal. So think about what you are really needing and see how best to get it. If you work, you need to factor in things like needing PTO for the kids if the get sick, missing events, and daycare. You'll need a job that at least covers your kid care. But a PT job or a volunteer position may be a good middle ground to start.