Riding in Carseat

Turning his seat forward will not solve the problem. Of course kids will stop screaming when they get turned, its a new prospective, they can SEE mom and dad and not just hear them, they are looking a different way, my how the car looks different this way.

But you cannot turn him forward facing (I know you weren't asking that, but its been suggested and I don't want there to be any confusion!) The bare minimum to go forward facing is 1yr and 20lbs. What is best practice? Keeping htem rear facing to the weight limits of htier convertible seat of 33/35lbs. My boys were rear facing to 18 months, 33lbs and 36'' tall, and 21 months, 33lbs, and 36'' tall.

Both went through the screaming, throwing a tissy fit in the carseat phase. And it was about 9-12 months. WIth my oldest I thought 'well time to forward face' but I knew better ,and was also too lazy to take the seat out and re-install it forwad facing! LOL! With my youngest I knew better and he remained rear facing to the weight limits of his seat.

What worked for them was different. My oldest was enthralled with my keys, so I went and bought him some uncut keys (so the yweren't sharp) at the store and bought some small teethers to put on the key ring as 'keychains' and voila, his veyr own set of keys. My youngest was obsessed iwth tractors so he had two little tractors that were his 'carseat tractors' and we left them in the car.

Find out what works for him, but realize that this is a stage that will pass. Keep him rear facing as long as possible. I know its hard to listen to them scream. but I did find too that the longer I took to buckle them in, sitting them in the seat, talking to them, making them laugh, then buckling the chest buckle, then laughing a bit more, the nbucking the crotch buckle, made a huge difference. Isntead of just puttingthem in and buckling as fast as I could, taking the time to play a bit relaxed them.

2 moms found this helpful

My first child was like that. He wasn't scared, he was mad. I started by getting him used to being in his car seat. I would set the seat on the floor and strap him in for about 5-7 minutes until he got used to the feel of being "strapped down". Then I started getting him used to the feel of the car moving by setting him on top of our dryer. (Hang on to the seat!) Then I took whatever was soothing to him, which was his blanket and made sure that he had a good hold on that. Then I got him used to the duration. It takes me 25 minutes to get to the grocery store. I would strap him in and let him sit for those 25 minutes. I did not touch him, or try to soothe him during that time. It was hard to see him so mad, but he had to get used to the seat. Trying to touch and soothe him while I was driving down the road was NOT an option. If he was screaming mad after 12 minutes, I took him out, but the ultimate goal was 25 minutes. It took about 4 days, honestly.
Hey, your baby has to be in a car seat, and you can't camp out at home forever, so go in baby steps to get him used to the seat, then to the car, then to the ride. You are doing this for him. After all, you don't want a 2 year old that won't ride without screaming, so if he gets used to the seat now, it will be so much better for the two of you.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd say he's at the age where it's not that he's terrified, he's bored and wanting to see what your reaction will be. My son went through this stage too. For me the best way to deal with it was tough love. I just let him scream and kick and carry-on until he realized it got him nothing. As long as you know that he's safe and not hurting himself, I'd try to let him cry it out and be re-assuring.

Hi J.
I have read your other respond and I also agree that it is aganist the law and VERY unsafe to have him forward facing at this point. I am carseat safty certified and they highly recommend you leave your children rear facing for as long as possiable. One of your posters said to try to put some padding in the carseat. This is not recommended because it changes the way the carseat fits the baby and then they may not be proparly restrained. Good luck :) T.

Can your son ride facing forward? I know babies can vary a lot in size, but my boys were all facing forward between 6-8 months because their legs were so long.

C. H

Perhaps it is the "rear facing" seat that freaks him out now that he is bigger and more mobile. Those rear facing seats lay back more so the child is in a more reclined position since this is more for younger babies. When our grandson turned about 6 months old, he started having a fit when we put him in the car seat. At about 8 months old we switched him to a front facing car seat where he was sitting up and could see out the windows, the fussing stopped instantly! Just a suggestion - it might work. Good luck.

8 1/2 month or weeks?

I agree with checking if there is anything making your baby uncomfortable. Has he had a growth spurt and now the straps are too tight? Or is he too hot with his winter clothing, blanket and the heat blasting?
At 81/2 months your son is not old enough to ride facing forward. The requirement for forward facing are 1 year and 20lbs. If your one year old is not yet 20 lbs then keep him backwards.
Another suggestion, take him to the pediatrician. He might have motion sickness or have an ear infection.

J.,
I am not of much help here. I have always had my son in front with me. I had a pickup and tried to put him in the back at first, but he got choked while I was driving one day and I nearly wrecked trying to get stopped so I could help him. After that he was always in front where he could see me. Unless my hubby was with us, then we put him in back. But we again always had him facing front so he could see us. Your son maybe getting a little car sick as well. Good luck

My baby went through the same thing. It's just a stage. My only suggestion would be to realize that it is a temporary situation and he'll grow out of it.

Hi J.,
My daughter cried almost every time she was in the car. Not fun when we would visit my parents 6 hours away! It wasn't until much later that we figured out she had motion sickness. She did not like swings either for a very long time. My daughter is now 12 and will still get car sick.

At 8 1/2 months, is it possible to switch to forward facing yet? How about the car seat? Is there something uncomfortable or too tight? Just things popping into my head. I am sure you checked all that.

I hope you can determine what it is before long. Not fun to drive a vehicle with a crying child.
God Bless,
L.

When my daughter was an infant (she's now 21) she screamed everytime we got into the car. When she was finally old enough to turn the car seat facing forward the screaming stopped. It turned out she just didn't like riding backwards. She also did this in the stroller until we turned that around too.

My 11-month-old daughter is still very unhappy in the car-has been since birth. She has switched seats, but still hates it. My son (now 5) was the same way. Eventually he outgrew that phase and now reads and loves car trips.

It's really annoying, but you just have to get through it. IT DOES END! I am just disappointed that my daughter is really small and we won't be able to turn her around to face forward for quite some time yet. C'est la vie!

Hang in there!

Is your son is 8 1/2 months old or weeks old? Without knowing that the only thing I can say is maybe check out the actual seat. Could something be hurting him?

Then, I know it is a terrible thing to start but my kids love watching their DVD movies in the car. Maybe you could pick up a "Baby Einstein" movie for him to watch when you get into the car. Then maybe he will soon realize that the backseat is not such a terrible place on those short trips.

I so so sympathize with you. My daughter, who will be 3 in April screamed constantly in her infant seat whether it was a 5 minute ride or a two hour ride. We never did find an answer and she eventually grew out of it. Some things I have heard since that I would try if I were in the situation again are getting something that does white noise or simulated heartbeat or something along those lines and put it in the car seat. Also, to be honest, if I were there again, I would probably sit back there with her, take her out and nurse her. No doubt, not the politically correct solution but if I were back there again, that's what I'd do.

sometimes there is abosolutely nothing you can do. When this started happening with my children, we got the dvd player setup in the car and put in the baby Einstien movies. Worked wonders. Hope that helps.

Does he sit ok in the seat when not driving? He may just be uncomfortable with all the movement. Wrap his belly with the blanket a little tighter. We had those issues with our oldest and ended up taking him to a chiropractor and lo and behold all the screaming stopped after only 2 sessions. He had a shoulder out of place. Good luck.

At 8 1/2 months, my son would not have fit in the car seat if we faced it rear facing, his legs would have been cramped. I don't like riding backwards either, it upsets his stomach as it does mine. Maybe it is time to face him forwards and see if that helps, even on a short trip. You just may have a child who doesn't like to ride in the car.

My daughter hated her seat too but no matter what anyone says DO NOT put your child facing forward until they are 20 lbs/ 1 year old. It doesn't matter how long their legs are, their neck and head is what you have to protect.
A few people mentioned car sickness... could you try some gripe water or something to settle his tummy before you ride?
Also, my daughter liked having the window opened a half inch or so. I think the "white noise" soothed her.
Good luck!

Do you jump at his every whimper or cry?

It's ok to let him cry!

I would tape some pictures of yourself or husband etc.... to the backseat so she can see you. Take a photo and have it enlarged to a 5x7 or 8x10 maybe laminate it and tape it to the seat he's facing.

It's probaly not his carseat, he's probaly not uncomfortable just bored or scared or seperation anxiety.

it could be that his seat is uncomfortable. try checking the straps. our son "hated" his seat so i thought and would scream. then i had adjusted the straps....he was fine.

I just wanted to say for all the people who say turn him around- he is WAY too young! They are rear-facing because it is the safest way to be. The back can handle the impact more than the chest can, and that is why it is a law to have them rear-facing until their first birthday, and recommended to keep them rear facing as long as they are willing after that. I agree with the person who said to switch to the convertible carseat. It is bigger and might be more comfortable now that he is gettting bigger. Mine goes rear-facing up to 35 pounds, and then forward facing and is also a booster so it is the last one I will need. It was hard to give up the infant seat though, its so much easier carrying them around in that than it is to buckle and unbuckle in the car each time. Sorry I don't have much more advice than that, sounds like you have tried everything I can think of, so you might just be stuck having to hear him cry in the car until he is older. I remember what that was like when you are driving and they won't stop... I hope you can find something that will help him! The convertible seat is worth a try. Good luck!

J.

I have a friend who had this problem and they figured out it was motion sickness. They turned their carseat around at 6 months and now everything is fine-no screaming. I'm not sure how I (or you) feel about turning them around this early but I just wanted to throw the idea out there. Good luck!

well depending on how much he weighs you could always try to turn his seat so it is front facing and see how that goes.

just keep trying - every day go for a short ride to let him get used to it. Make sure he's not being pinched or that the straps are too tight or that he is too hot (or cold) or that a vent is blowing right in his face.

Some kids just hate carseats. One of my daycare mom's daughter is 13 months old. She is forward facing and still screams the whole ride anywhere. Hope you get some good advise, but know that you are not alone!!

P.S. It is AGAINST THE LAW to turn your baby seat around before one year AND 20 lbs!!!!! Their neck is not strong enough before then to handle an accident! I've had carseat training, and I would NEVER turn my baby forward facing before they reach 20 lbs and one year old. If someone hit you, your child has a much higher chance of brain damage if they are forward facing.

If you still have him in an infant seat try a rearfacing seat that converts to a front facing. Also, check the padding in the back and bottom of the seat. Something may be rubbing on him. There are also little padding/toys to hook on to the straps, incase they may rub on him and also to keep the toys within reach.

Is the car seat pinching him or too tight? You can have the fire department check out the tightness. My kids have had screaming and crying instances in their car seats and it's usually been that the car seat is uncomfortable.
K. K.

When I first read you request, I thought you were talking about a 8 1/2 year old, but then in re-reading it I realized you were talking a bout a 8 1/2 month old. It sounds like he might be getting car sick. Take him to his doctor and tell them your concerns. I used to be that way when I was a lot younger. My parents couldn't put in the the back seat of a car with out me throwing up every thing I had eaten for the past three days (according to my mother). I know that he isn't to that stage yet but this might be the beginning. Up until I was about 10 years old, anything that had to do with sight, sound or anything I would eat would be triggers for me. I know that there are meds that can be given but I'm not sure at what ages they can start. For this you have to check with your doctor. They may also have other ideas for you to try. In reading some of the other responses about car seats, reminded me about the first time I had to wash the pad on my oldest car seat. The padding was so thin, that I would have even a tough time sitting in a hard molded plastic chair with a thin piece of foam between me and it for any length of time. You may also want to try and add a piece of Lambs wool to the back and seat to see if that might help.

L.
Mother to a 16, 14 and 12 year old (who still does get sick in the car sometimes)

Could it be possible that the straps are a little too tight? I would check that first.

Couple of thoughts, is something uncomfortable for him? has he grown recently and the straps need to be loosened? Maybe the padding is bunched. And some carseats are just more comfortable then others. Alot of people have success w/ the Britax Marathon. They say their kids cry in other seats but are ok in the Marathon. It's expensive but by far the safest. Or maybe he's lonely? You could also try playing some music while your driving. It's an excellent distractant. and then there are some kids who just hate riding in the car no matter what, and there is nothing you can do about it. I also agree w/ the other mom, what ever it takes do not turn you child around until they are over 1 year and over 20 lbs. They don't have the neck strength to handle the impact forward facing. It doesn't matter if their legs are long and crossed. In fact the AAP now recommends leaving them rear facing as long as possible. Even up to 35 lbs. That's what they do in Europe. Kids are left rear facing.

Hope this helps, good luck!

Have u tried putting him in the middle and face fwd? so he can see you all and u can talk to him? Hes proably afraid of what hes seeing in the rear view? My kids are lil older so dont rember when ur supose to face fwd. (I never faced mine backward) worth a shot. Good luck.

How long has he been doing this for??? Does he have an ear infection where his sense of balance is off - if he has an inner ear infection and maybe when your driving it might make him dizzy, nauseated - that type of thing. If it's been happening for a long time then it wouldn't be that.

Is it better when it's facing forward?

With both of my kids, I found that between the ages of 6-18 mos was the hardest time in the car. Neither of them liked riding in a vehicle and seemed angry and frustrated about the whole experience. I always thought it was because they were just becoming mobile and beginning to explore their world and then, suddenly, strapped in and moving and going somewhere else.

I'm glad your son is still rear-facing, it's best to keep him that way until he becomes too big to do so. Even when you switch him to a convertible seat, keep him rear-facing until he reaches the rear-facing weight limit of the seat, usually 30-35lbs (or height-1" from the top of shell). To explore more, find out reasons, and ask questions go to www.car-seat.org .

As far as legs being to long...my son is 24lbs and 34" at 23 months. He is still rear-facing in an Evenflo Triumph Advance and his legs are just fine. Most kids just cross theirs and have no problems. Better broken legs than a broken neck.

AND...it is against the law to forward face your child at this young of an age. Two words-internal decapitation-forward facing. Also, do not loosen the straps. It they are too loose your child could be thrown from the seat in a collision. Also, make sure the chest clip is positioned at armpit height. Sorry if this is so blunt.

According to my own motherhood, and now my advancing education, especially now in my human development class, I believe your son is going through a developmental stage that is now allowing him to realize that he is "alone" and it is causing a mild form of separation anxiety while seated in the rear facing seat. With our new child seat laws, they plain and simply suck! Another reason why he may be throwing a fit is because of the restraint the seat causes. I would suggest loosening them a little bit to ensure they fit properly. He also may be too large for the seat and it could be uncomfortable. You may have to find a new seat for him that fits better. Car seats are like shoes, not every one fits the same. I would avoid padding because it can do more harm than good.
Good Luck,
Rebecca

Unfortunately, I can't give you any advice that will help. I can tell you it's pretty normal. Both of my children got anxious to ride forward-facing when they were old enough to know they were missing out. It's a good feeling when you finally get to turn them at 1 year. They are so much happier. Until then, make do with what you can. Try to keep your little one occupied with plenty of toys to look at and play with. Good luck!

It was horrible going anywhere with my son! He cried from when the car started moving until it stopped. We never went anywhere other than church and essential grocery shopping. Now that he is four, he tells me all the time that his tummy hurts, so I now acredit it to being motion sick. There are homeopathic tablets you can try with no real side affects or one thing that worked for me while I was growing up (granted this was teenage years and beyond that I remember) was having a cool breeze on me and saltine crackers. Hope this helps - it did get better when he was turned around but not a whole lot!
Oh, one more thing. He also hated that he couldn't see anything. We had a pontiac grand prix, and even when he was turned around, he couldn't see out the windows. Once he was able to understand and do a magnadoodle, our trips became much more enjoyable inbetween tummy troubles.

Both of my kids were that way, and for us it was a matter of getting through the phase. It was awful! For a while I only went places that were within 5 minutes of my house, because that's how long my daughter lasted in the car before screaming. They did both grow out of the phase. Good luck!

I'm sorry this is happening--mine did the same thing. I know how bewildering and distressing this can be. It's totally normal. have you tried planning so it's snack time when you go?

try turning the car seat around