My boys are in 1st & 4th grade. I just had a parent conference & I am concerned that there grades are so low:/My 1st grade sons teacher said to consider retaining him in 1st grade & my sons 4th grade teacher didnt say that but did say he seems overwhelmed & might be a young 4th grader since he just turned 9 & many of her students are 10.
my 4th grader A has always had good grades.Was student of the month & received many awards. My 1st grader D has had ok grades but this year he has just made slow progress. His teacher says he does try his best but he falls short.My boys have not missed a day of school & have never been tardy. we are a family with both parents & have support from afterschool program with homework. I dont understand if its just academically or they just need to try harder. I recently started a Full time job as to where before was a SAHM. Our routine is a ittle off. I know they dont get much sleep. Should I consider holding them back? or do I have to look into it more?
My feeling is that my 1st grader isnt mature enough (he just turned 6)& his attention span is just not there. Hes my active,rumbuctious one.My 4th grader has become very disrespectful to me. He started talking back & doesnt want to be responsible. He gets very angry over little thing. He cries in the mornings over clothes. I think something else is going on. I told his teacher & she was shocked. She says he is very kind & caring & happy. Not at home & that breaks my heart. :( What am I doing wrong? Help
Rosebud covered a lot. Re-read her answer. And really do look at the sleep thing. Sleep (or rather, lack thereof) can be the reason behind all that you mentioned, and if it isn't the sole reason, can certainly make any other reason manifest in a stronger (worse) way.
Kids need their sleep. Make it a priority.
I agree with the Moms who say that a bedtime routine is necessary !
On Sundays, put together a meal or two that will carry you through until Wednesday, so you don't have to spend alot of time cooking.
Set out the clothes as part of their bedtimes routine.
Your routine has changed and that always takes an adjustment.
Kindergarten is much more academic than it used to be. If your son is struggling in May, I would talk to the principal and the teacher together.
If your kids are not sleeping enough they will be cranky !
When you talk to them, say, "I can see that you are angry/sad/mad. Let's talk about what is going on."
If they think your first grader should be held back, this is a good time to do it. It's only first grade. Boys are usually less mature.
If you say they aren't getting enough sleep, that could explain your 4th grader's attitude. They need sleep. Try to adjust their routines so they are getting it.
If you recently started a full time job after being a SAHM, your kids are probably feeling the strain, and that could be what your 4th grader is reacting to.
If he is being disrespectful to you, I hope his father is putting him in his place. Dad and mom need to be unified, and respect needs to be emphasized.
You aren't necessarily doing anything "wrong." Parenting is just hard.
Adjusting to a new job after being a SAHM is tough! I know, I've been there. Give yourself a break- but try to get your routine back on track as soon as you can. Your kids need this, too.
Rosebud gave you good advice. I agree, the first part of your routine should be bedtime. Get them in bed by 8:00, no exceptions. Have their clothes ready to go that night (let them help you with this) and find ways to have a good breakfast ready for them when they wake up.
Really, really try hard to have a family meal *most* nights. Considering activities and such, I know this one can be hard, but it really made a difference with my family. This was our time to "regroup" and talk about our days. Tell them about your job and talk about what they did at school.
Get a good calendar and make lists- that way things don't slip by you and your kids will learn that they can still count on you to have things like permission slips signed and treats for soccer practice ready.
You get the idea. Give this a week or two and I bet you will see a difference in your son's attitude.
Finally, let your 1st grader get through a few more months of school. Have a meeting toward the end of the school year and really consider where he is academically and emotionally.
Good luck! You can do this! Keep us posted...
If your first grader just turned six, that means you started him in K when he was just four years old. I don't believe ANYONE should do that, gifted child or not, because their maturity level is not where it needs to be. I suspect that might be the case for your youngest, and I wouldn't hesitate for a minute on holding him back. Children to do better, on average, when they are the older children in the class...and if you don't hold him back now, he may continue to fall behind and once you get so far behind it isn't easy to catch up. NOW is the time to do it.
You say your children don't get much sleep. Sleep ought to be an absolute priority! I imagine your 4th grader IS doing his best, but your best on lack of sleep is not really your best (as in, fully rested.) Set a bedtime, a routine, and stick to it. My 2nd grader goes to bed at 8:00, and I don't plan on changing that until she's in 6th grade at least.
Your child has a split personality, just like most. There's the child you see at home, and then there's the child you send to school each day. There were literally times when the elementary teachers and I would say to each other, "are you sure we're talking about the same kid?"
Sleep is extremely important. Both your children should be getting a minimum of 10 hours of sleep at each night. This should be a top priority.
Routine is extremely important to young children. Both your children have been dramatically effect by your returning to work.
Yes, I would seriously consider holding back your first grader. Of course, your only 1/3 of the way throughout the school year and things could change. Work with him for the next 3 months and see if there's any notable change. It appears that he's just not ready. If he's unable to grasp these critical basic concepts, he'll only continue to struggle.
Hi there!
In my experience, routine and structure are 2 elemental things to help our kids to be successful in school. This is exactly what I call discipline, give the kids a schedule to follow especially during school days but keep it slightly even over weekends. Meals and sleep routine should be at the same time everyday (try at least 90% of the time). Kids do not say it, but they need routine and need to know what to expect. Set a time for homework, play, meals and sleeping. Your kids are still young, so it is a very good time to start. Do not despair, create first YOUR schedule to cook in advance meals during weekends, and coordinate with your chores and personal things, and then stick to it.It will take time at first, but it will be easier with the passing of days. Guide and help your kids to be organized as well. As soon as they arrive from school:
check on their backpacks together to see what it needs to be D.;
let them to have a snack and vent a little outside or do something fun,
homework and have them to leave their clothes handy or on a chair the night before...things like that.
As I always say, parenting is a very hard work, very hard especially if we, moms, want to do it well.
I second the sleep thing. My middle daughter is 7, in second grade. She get's 11 hours of sleep at night. She's in bed asleep at 8 pm. She starts getting ready for bed at 730. If she gets less sleep, she's crying, unreasonable, emotional, sassy, etc. I really think you should consider making sleep a priority for them.
I have 2 nephews, 6 and 8 - they don't get much sleep and seem to have behavior problems. When they are at our house they go to bed when my 7yr old does and they are completely different kids when they get up.
Have they been tested for learning disabilities?
Our school system stopped "holding back" students years ago. I think they realized that kids don't benefit from boing singled out that way and removed from their peer group. Instead they implement Adapted Learning Plans for students, or an Individualized Education Program if need be. An ALP can include things as simple as having the child sit at the fron of the classroom, or having a teacher or ea reread instructions, or highlighting important instructions. For example, when my grade one son gets his math work, the teacher will highlight the operation involved for him and it helps. An ALP isn't a permanent thing, but put in place while the student is still working on developing certain skills so that they won't fall behind. Is this possible in your school system? As for the grade four student, it is just possible that it is an adjustment time. My son found that in grade five he actually needs to try a little harder and study, whereas up until now he has had everything come so easy to him without trying.
