Recommendation for a Relationship Book

Updated on May 23, 2011
B.C. asks from Montclair, NJ
17 answers

I'm looking for a book that can help increase one's partnership skills in a marriage. Thanks for any recommendations!

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I second The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. I included this link so you could see all the reviews:
http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/006...

3 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from New York on

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book, and we've given a copy to friends when they get married...

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Okay, before I'm lynched for saying this, try 'The Healthy Care for and Feeding of Husbands' (it's something like that)... and before you even try it, let's just say the author seems like a total anti-feminist at first. I don't like her attitude in regards to a lot of things, but if you look past her, there's a LOT of good to come from that book, just use whatever you feel applies to you. It teaches you about your reactions to his actions, and vice versa. It's pretty much about creating your own happiness, which then in turn helps your relationship. Like I said, I'm not crazy about the way the author says some things, but overall it's a GREAT book with a lot of good in it... you just have to listen to what applies to you and your situation :)

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

The book Rachael D is refering to is, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Its a fantastic book on helping women understanding what makes men tick and is a really good book for letting men know what makes women tick. My wife and I had been married about 30 years when I bought the book. It has helped our relationship tremendously.

I thought so much of the book, I have given a copy to all of my married kids. I only wish I had been given a copy of the book when I got married. (It hadn't been written yet.)

I would also recommend the book, "The Love Dare." It is the companion book to the movie, "Fireproof". I'd recommend you see the movie first, then order the book. (I'm on day 13,000+.) My wife and I and two of my children and their spouses watched the movie together. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. It had a very positive impact on all of us.

Good luck to you and yours.

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S.R.

answers from Denver on

My relationship with hubby has significantly improved after reading "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. It's a christian book, but I think the concepts are relevant whether or not you agree with the spiritual aspect. It gave me a lot of insight into how the male mind works! I also like the 5 Love Languages.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My most favorite book is "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Shlessinger. She has companion books, "Woman Power" and "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage"...I believe "Woman Power" is a workbook.

The title of the first book turns soooo many women off and the notion that they believe Dr. Laura has a alterior motive to keep women barefoot and preganant and subservient to their husbands. That is soooo far from the truth. I am married to an amazing man but even still I read the book trying to understand my hubby better...and it helped tremendously.

In reality we have only enough power to change our behavior...we can't make a spouse willingly go to therapy, read a book or concede to constant nagging on our part. Soooo, why not read the book to try to understand him better and try some of the helpful hints and see amazing results among your own behavior and his. I seriously cannot recommend the book enough. I purchased 2 books, one of which I loan out to friends and they write their name inside that copy. That copy is covered in names and not one of them threw the book at me aghast at the evil Dr. Laura's perspective. These women come from varying ages and levels of happiness within their own marriages.

The book is riddled with real life letters and phone calls to her program from men and women. It gives perspective from both sides and causes much reflection on one's own relationship.

Couldn't hurt to check it out from the library. I seriously refer back to my copy often.

I think it is great that you are in search of a book..Good luck!!

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

im going to also recommend 'the proper care and feeding of husbands" My relationship is better than it has ever been, and my shift can be part blamed on this book. Im not one to let books tell me what to do. I read this book and things JUMPED out at me. The way i have always put my husband third, the way men show their feelings and love were obvious for the first time. Its like dr laura is secretly a man, lol, she really knows them.

Oh and i think the title doesnt sound like something that degrades women. I think it sounds like word play, like "the proper care and feeding of iguanas" or some other strange animal. I took it as kind of degrading sounding to men, but in a whimsical way.

***dr laura is not for everyone, she is definitely for the women who doesnt really "get" her man. She is for the women who are amazing at work, amazing with their kids and wonders why her marriage is rocky.

Ill give my example of the 1 most important thing i saw in her book that spoke out to me. It was a conversation she had with a woman where she suggested the woman give her man 3 things he would see her work on about herself and their relationship. She absolutely refused and said her husband should be the one giving her three things....this was the jist of it.

That night i texted my husband to come up with three things he would see me work on about myself and our marriage. I did NOT ask for three things in return and only promised to work on the things he told me. he said (hes such a guy) 1.more sex 2. more oral sex 3. less procrastination....when i told him that #1 and #2 were the same thing he said ok,,,,more dates then.
So yes, i do this for him, and without asking, he has fixed like 10 things i would have changed about him and our marriage. I dont even think he knows hes changed them, but i was shocked at how little effort it took for me to make him 100% happy. All the sex and dates are great for me too, but i still have the urge to procrastinate.

Sorry if this was super lengthy, but i saw the book getting bashed and had to defend it with a real life example, that you may or may not identify with

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

The Five Languages of Love or the Five Love Languages. Barnes & Nobles has it you can look it up online, it's a good book I'm just not sure of the title.

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

The Five Love Languages.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm going out on a limb and saying The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey.

Not a relationship book but a self help book because if people worked more on themselves and worried less about their partner is doing, relationships would be better!

So my advice: Start with yourself.

Good luck!

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R.O.

answers from New York on

Fireproof. Real Marriage. Love & Respect.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

oprah had some doctor on yesterday that wrote a book about relationship.. he's suppose to be the best around.. I forget his name, but u can look on her website..

best of luck

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Hi B., I cannot recommend the book Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands to you. Dr. Laura is extremely derisive of women and puts men in a narrow catagory that I refuse to disrespect my husband by following.

Instead of reading a book that puts the success or fail of a marriage solely on one partner, I recommend that you read "The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women" by Gary and Barbara Rosberg (sp?). Marriage takes TWO, not just the woman trying to hold things together.

I recommend this book to 8kidsdad as well. It wouldn't hurt for everyone to have a balanced perspective...... the problems in marriages are not just that a woman fails to see a man's perspective.

B., I wish you well. My marriage is amazing, and it's truly about partnership, and the fact that you want you and your husband to increase your partnership skills is amazing! I wish you well!

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K.G.

answers from Syracuse on

I like several books by Dr. Kevin Lehman including "Sheet Music", "Sex Begins in the Kitchen", and "Five Days to a Brand New Husband" or something like that. I also like Dr. Laura's books, including "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Good luck!

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R.A.

answers from New York on

Zig Ziglar has a great book for couples. It is called Courtship after Marriage.

J.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Love and Respect - AWESOME book!!

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J.G.

answers from New York on

harville Hendrix has some great books & workbooks. Check your local bookstore.
Also if you want a more intensive route: highly recommend taking the Landmark Forum. That was a huge help for our relationship.

Good luck!

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