K.D. asks from Burnsville, MN on April 23, 2008
Question for Sahms Who Worked Out of the Home - Could You Actually WORK?
Hi everyone. My boyfriend was laid off at the end of my pregnancy, and now he's trying to start a consulting business based out of the home so that he can also take care of our daughter during the day. I love the idea of her being cared for by her daddy (not as much as I'd love for her to be cared for by her mommy, but someone's got to be getting health insurance) but when I get home from work each day all he talks about is how demanding the baby was, etc. It doesn't seem like he's getting much work done, and I don't make enough to cover all of our expenses. I'm really worried that once his unemployment benefits run out we're going to be up the creek. I've very carefully brought it up with him a few times, but all he says is not to worry, everything will work out. Did any of you take care of your babies while working out of the home? Did it work? Any suggestions for things that I can do to make it more likely that he'll succeed? Thanks!!
1 mom found this helpful
More Answers
K.B. answers from Minneapolis on April 23, 2008
K.,
As one other person mentioned - with working at home with children is like having 2 FT jobs.
I have been working from home for 3 1/2 yrs and I do Data Entry, so unless I work I don't get paid. Hours are flexible but at times too flexible and I find myself working until 10-11pm at night in order to get my work done (since I couldn't get much during the day).
My kids are 10 1/2, 4 1/2 and 6 months. My husband is home until 2pm each day so that helps me out a bit. Even than, I still have to help with the 2 younger ones as my oldest is in school and my husband is busy around the house (he never sits down..lol). My only quiet time is from about 2pm-4pm for nap time for my 2 youngest. When my oldest is home at night she helps out alot - something your boyfriend doesn't have during the day.
If your daughter is content with just sitting in her bouncy chair or swing while Daddy is working that would be best. At 3 months old they usually don't need as much attention (some do though). He could also get work done while she sleeps. Other than that, when you are home at night.
If it wasn't for my husband being home during the morning and having my 10yr olds help at night - I would never get any work done....
I feel so guilty when I sit here working and my 6 month old is just sitting in a chair watching me. I feel like I should be playing with her - teaching her sit up and all that stuff....
So...it is doable - It will just take ALOT of patience and work....
1 mom found this helpful
M.H. answers from Cedar Rapids on April 23, 2008
Its doable but a lot depends on the child and the parent! My son is very energetic and not easily appeased, he loves to be moving out and about and the center of attention. I therefore get maybe 1 hour of work done a day. I guess it depends on your boyfriends business. Mine allows for totally flexible hours and is very family friendly. I take my son with me everywhere I go and rarely have to find someone to watch him so I can talk business. (willing to share info on my business if you want, just let me know). As soon as your daughter can feed herself having the highchair (or bouncy while she takes a bottle) near his desk will give him 15 minutes of time a few times a day. If she naps well then he should be able to get a good solid hour in. So basically if he works from home he will be caring for your daughter and working and the house will be a total disaster zone. So if he can work in 15 minute spurts throughout the day he may be able to accomplish stuff, but he does have to be very motivated. Best of luck to both of you and again let me know if you want some info on our business!
1 mom found this helpful
S.S. answers from Milwaukee on April 24, 2008
I write a parenting blog from home with my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter. It's definitely doable for me, but it is a lot of work and it takes careful consideration of time and attention. My husband is wonderful, but I don't know that he could do it...I don't know that men are as good at multitasking in this area.
I suggest your boyfriend start keeping a time journal to see how he's actually spending his time. Taking care of a baby surely can take an entire day...it all depends on priorities.
Relationship stress along with financial stress is never a good combination. Make sure you stay open and discuss things honestly so resentment doesn't build up. I wish you the best!
S.S. answers from Minneapolis on April 23, 2008
I'm a consultant who works from home, and it can be tricky. The only reliable time for things like conference calls or uninterrupted work is naptime (about 1-2 hours in the late morning, maybe 2 more hours in the afternoon). Anything that can't get done during those times gets done when the kids are in bed at night. If it's a particularly big project, I will lock myself in a room at 7 and my husband handles bedtime. This gives me 3-5 hours at night to work if I need it. I find that it's much easier to "double task" when the kids are awake if I'm doing household stuff with them and involving them (like cleaning, shopping, etc.) as opposed to trying to work while they're up. Flexibility is key, and a place to go for peace and quiet helps. :)
S.P. answers from Minneapolis on September 07, 2008
Hi K.!
I just saw you ad from earlier this year. I currently work from home with a great Team. We have partnered up with a Wellness Company where we don't have to do any selling, or caryy inventory or deliver stuff. Visit www.workingathomemomma.com if you and/or your husband would be interested! I will call you!
J.H. answers from Minneapolis on May 19, 2008
I am a stay at home mom of a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old girl! I wanted to find a stay at home job that I would enjoy and keep me home with my family. I finally found a company that has blessed my family in so many ways! I don't have to sell, do parties, order, stock/ship inventory, and there is NO risk! If you are motivated, you can make money at home too! The Mom Team is a non-profit support group partnered up with a wellness company. I LOVE what I do, and we have lots of support! Request more info. At www.juleneh.freedomunitedteam.com
K.K. answers from Minneapolis on April 25, 2008
Hi K.,
I do not work from home, but am a full time college student, so I do understand the notion of needing to get things done (i.e. homework, projects, research, writing, etc.) while staying at home with a young child. I have twin boys who were premature and 4 months when I went back to school. They are now 19 months.
For some people, like me, I found it too challenging to get "work" done at home while caring for my boys. I either wasn't there mentally or was physically busy with the boys. It only gets harder as the child sleeps less and become mobile, and for me I finally realized that the only way I could concentrate and get things done was by leaving the house. For your boyfriend, this might mean creating an "office" somewhere where he can isolate himself for a few hours each day to get things done.
It took me about 6 months to learn how I worked efficiently. I think once you realize - or your boyfriend realizes - what works and what DOESN'T work for him, he can find ways to work around it. It's just a matter of whether or not both of you have the time and money to spend on this learning curve.
Good luck to both of you!
Email